


A Side You Never Knew

by That Hawkward Gal (Insanitywithaprettyface)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Dean, Consensual Underage Sex, De-Aged Dean Winchester, Dean Needs A Hug, F/M, Family Bonding, Humor, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecurity, Lots of sad things happen to Dean, Love of Elvis Presley, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Wing Grooming, Wing Kink, Winged Castiel, Winged Dean Winchester, but it's supernatural so you knew that, graphic gore, its complicated in a noncomplicated way, really the time travel is part of a spell, slight time travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-02-26 11:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 104,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2650190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insanitywithaprettyface/pseuds/That%20Hawkward%20Gal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes there is a whole side to a person that we never really see. This side is a entire history that we never learn, one that could bring an entire new light to a story that we thought we knew so well. There's always a side to a person that we just never see. A Side That You Never Knew..."</p><p>During a hunt things quickly go south and Team Free will is left to deal with the out come- they discover a few well kept secrets about Dean that no one had ever known about. As they race the clock to figure out how to save a de-aged Dean Winchester they slowly become introduced to an entire new side of the man they thought they knew some much about.<br/>What will they learn about Dean and can they save him from the deadly spell of the Hag?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

 

Dean sat rather quietly in the swing on Bobby's porch. He held a cold beer in his hands, and a throw blanket around his shoulders as he swayed gently in the old swing. Dean's eyes were locked on the horizon, as it started to glow a pinkish- red color. The sun was coming up, another day closer to the apocalypse and another night of missed sleep. Dean sighed as he took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the cold early morning air. It was so quiet out here, Sam was sleeping peacefully in Bobby's guest room- Dean had basically carried the jolly giant up there after he found him out cold sitting at the desk in the living room, Adam had fallen asleep stretched out on the couch with one shoe off and the other just barely hanging on -the poor kid had fell asleep with a book in one hand a vile of holy water in the other, he was still learning the ropes- Dean had put him in same room as Sam in the twin size bed that he himself usually slept in, Bobby was sound asleep to -Dean had helped the wheel chair bound man to bed to, the poor guy had been in the same state as Sam, only in his case he was slumped over in his wheelchair, and Cass was God only knows where -no pun intended.

 

Dean was left to his blissful silence and solitude. He could think now without having to deal with Sammy's annoying worried voice, Adam's constant need to be right up under his oldest brother's feet and his worried looks that were just as bad as Sammy's, Bobby's mother-henning, or Cass's irksome monotone of a voice dealing out riddles and wisdom.

 

He was left to think, to attempt to relax, and to just quietly protect his family without having to listen to their protests about not needing to be protected. He could stand guard and keep the wolves at the door at bay that much longer. He liked times like this- but he’d be lying if he said that he wished it was like this all the time. The chaos that came with his family- now that was something that he couldn’t really live without. It was crazy and would drive a guy to drink his liver to death but Dean wouldn’t give it up for the world.

 

He was used to all that, he had to be by now, and he could handle all that without an issue, but he liked the few times like this. The times he could just sit and enjoy a side of life that died with his mom. The side of life that his mom had told him to enjoy, the side that had moments of calmness, beauty, and thinking time. Dean hadn't had many moments like that in a long time, so this was nice. This was all he needed to keep going strong and handle that chaos that came with the family that he loved so much, this and the picture in his wallet. The one that his dad never knew he had the one that showed the entire Winchester family before it all went bad.

 

Dean sat his beer bottle down next to the swing and pulled out his wallet. The whole world seemed to pause as he slowly took out the old worn photo. Dean unfolded it and quietly examined the faces of each person, he had looked at the picture so many times through his life, and he knew each face by heart. The image was burnt into his mind’s eyes forever.

 

"Hey Mom," Dean whispered, "I got a free moment. I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you in a while. Life is just getting so hectic. Man, I wish you were here, I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to do with Sammy; I haven't got a clue what to do about Adam. Yeah, you know my half-brother, the one Dad failed to ever mention, the one who's only seventeen, the one who I'm currently playing big brother/surrogate parent to. It's my childhood all over again."

 

Dean smirked, "See there are two reasons right inside the house that I'll never have kids. I got enough to look after without having to settle down and play house. I mean who would take care of those brats? No one that's who, sure they are good kids but I mean damn, do they ever get on my nerves. You think Dad would've done me a favor and given me a heads up. I know I just got to suck it up, but Mom it would be real nice to just catch a break once in a while."

 

 

 

The beautiful blonde Mary in the picture silently smiled back, holding a chubby little baby Sam in her arms while a four-year-old version of himself hung on to her leg, and a happy looking John Winchester a hand on the four-year-old Dean's head and an arm around Mary's shoulders.

 

"Yeah I know Winchesters don't get breaks. Mom, that angel I told you about is just as bad as my little brothers; he might as well be a child to. I mean I've had to teach him basic human things. Okay, yeah I had to do those things with Sammy when he was growing up but that's different, he's my baby brother, Cass is an almighty angel who should know how to use a damn shower. I mean that was really uncomfortable."

 

Dean couldn't help the blush that covered his face as he remembered getting an eye full of rather well hung and well-toned angel. He swallowed hard and shook the thought from his mind. That was not an appropriate thought to have at the moment.

 

"He is kind of..well… good looking," Dean mumbled then quickly looked around for any possible spying ears that might have heard him.

 

He wouldn't admit just how hot he thought Cass was, because that damn angel had a way of popping up whenever Dean would say something nice about him and he was talking to his Mom and he never talked about his love interests in times like this. This was his and his Mom's time, no one else got to have that unless they were very important. Unless they were those who he truly cared for and would give his life for. Cass was getting there but he still wasn't entirely in that bracket.

 

"Mom, do you think that…that maybe things will get better soon? I mean I've got my little brothers here with me and Bobby is away from the bad things, and I even have an angel on my side. Maybe things will lighten up just enough so that I can enjoy having everybody within arm's reach? Please Mom, if you have any influence in anything; just help me keep our boys safe alright?"

 

Dean sighed and looked up at the full on sun rise, he didn't miss the fact that his plea went unanswered. He was use to that, use to making things happen on his own. Handouts had never been an option; Dean didn't expect anything from his Mom. He knew if she could hear him that she was trying her best, that she more than likely did do little things to help him. He wasn't mad at the silence; he loved his Mom too much. He could never hate her or be angry with her.

 

Dean kissed the picture then folded it back up and put it back into his wallet. He calmly slipped his wallet back into his pocket and picked his beer bottle back up, then took a big gulp from it.

 

"I love you mom," Dean whispered, "You know Sammy loves you to."

 

Dean sat quietly for a few more minutes then got up and went inside. He folded the throw blanket and sat it on the couch as he went about straightening up the living room.

 

Dean was on a cleaning fix, he usually got into parent mode after a good talk with his Mom. It had been like this since he was little, Sam had only witnessed one of his cleaning modes once and Dean was sure he had been way too young to remember.

 

Thank God for that, Dean was pretty sure that he had been in an apron at the time with yellow rubber gloves.

 

 

 

Once Dean finished with the living room he made his way through the first level of the house cleaning and putting things away. He dusted off Bobby’s old collection of books, cleaned up the wreck that the living room had become after their research binge, and even managed to scrub away enough demon blood and- well he wasn’t entirely sure what some of the stains on Bobby’s floor were from and he didn’t plan on investigating after seeing the color that the water in the bucket turned.

 

After thoroughly scrubbing his hands and cleaning himself up Dean made his way for the kitchen and started his little cleaning crusade in there as well.

 

Once there was no longer mold and piles of plates with things covering them that looked like something that Dean had hunted; he started breakfast, then started a load of clothes in Bobby's washer, and once he was done he grabbed another beer and sat quietly at the table waiting for the washer and dryer to stop, while a pot of coffee began to brew.

 

He inhaled the smell of the bacon and eggs and smiled- he loved the smell of home cooked food, it reminded him of the days when his mom would get up early and cook breakfast. He’d always wake up to the smell of his mom’s cooking that the sound of the old rock station drifting up the stairs and into his room. He would always smile when he heard his mom humming along with the Beatles or a Jimmy Hendrix.

 

Dean sighed as he leaned back in the uncomfortable wooden chair, he took a big swig of beer and turned his focus back to the food- it was almost done- he had the bacon and eggs in the microwave to keep them warm and the really he was just waiting on the biscuits to finish.

 

Dean was starting to get board at this point, he wanted to go upstairs and clean every room he could get to but he couldn't do that without waking the guys. He decided that once things were all finished in the house that he would go and spend some time with the Impala.

 

 

 

His poor baby probably missed him like crazy; he had driven her anywhere in about two weeks.

 

 

 

"I did not know that you could cook," Castiel's voice spoke up from out of nowhere. Dean jumped and almost caused his chair and beer to spill over.

 

 

 

"Damn it Cass! A little warning would be nice,” Dean snapped, “I hate it when you do that."

 

 

 

Dean shot the angel a glare that was known for sending even the toughest of demons off running. Castiel, however, was unaffected.

 

 

 

"I apologize, Dean."

 

 

 

"It’s fine, just warn a guy next time," Dean mumbled as he settled back into his chair, "and yes I can cook. I cooked most of me, Sammy, and our dad's meals when I was younger."

 

 

 

"You've never cooked while I have known you."

 

 

 

"Never felt like it. Never had time. Hell, if you haven't noticed shit has been hitting the fan a lot lately, so me having a chance to cook hasn't really came up."

 

 

 

"I guess you're right."

 

 

 

Dean nodded, "I am most of the time if you haven't noticed."

 

 

 

Normally that would've been a good thing that Dean would've been bragging about but lately Dean hadn't been liking the things he was right about.

 

 

 

There was that bitch Meg, then the about most of the angels being bastards, then there was the thing with Sam and the demon blood, and the most recent thing was that Adam sucked at shooting a gun - Dean still ducked for cover whenever he saw the kid reaching for a damn gun.

 

 

 

It had happened while they were on a hunt, Dean had specifically told Adam not to shoot the gun unless he absolutely had to, but as soon as the kid saw the Ghoul in its true form he shot and the damn bullet grazed Dean's cheek. Dean almost didn't move quick enough to miss a full on kill shot, the only good thing that had come out of the was the bullet hit and killed the Ghoul and Dean learned that Adam would have to practice a hell of a lot more before Dean ever let him hold a gun again.

 

 

 

Dean was still sporting the band aid on his cheek -after about three weeks Bobby had dubbed the damn wound minor enough to have the single stitch taken out and the gaze to be downgrade to a dollar-store bought Band-Aid.

 

 

 

His current one had batman on it- Sammy knew him so well.

 

 

 

"Yes, well why you are not in bed?"

 

 

 

"Couldn't sleep."

 

 

 

"Why not?"

 

 

 

"Just couldn't, too much to think about."

 

 

 

"What things are you thinking about?"

 

 

 

"How long it'll take to train Adam, what kind of monster I'll go after next, where you go when you disappear, and…," Dean stopped as he remember the nightmare that he had had, the one about Alastair.

 

Hadn't that been what woke him up in the first place and sent him downstairs at a break neck speed to check on his brother and Bobby?

 

Hadn't it been the fear that something was going to take away his family that had made him double up on the salt lines, that had made him place protection charms around each of his sleeping families' necks, that had caused him the stay up and keep watch all through the night?

 

 

 

Dean sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose; he had been up all night because of all the crap on his mind and those damn nightmares.

 

Dean gave Castile a withering look, the angel only stood next to the sink with his head cocked in that curious puppy look, like he always did whenever Dean surprised him by acting human.

 

 

 

"Well damn Cass you know why I couldn't sleep. You read minds remember I don't even have to pretend to keep it from you."

 

 

 

"Right. Why are you still experiencing these dreams about Alastair? He is gone Dean, he can't hurt Bobby, Adam, or Samuel."

 

 

 

Dean nodded, "I know but there's a shit load of other things trying to do that for him. One wrong move from me and they're gone, out of my reach. Sammy could end up at any moment being Lucifer's bitch, Adam is in the running to be Michael's bitch, Bobby could be killed or kidnapped at any moment just to spite me, and then there's you Cass."

 

 

 

Castiel's head turned to the other side, his confusion heightened.

 

 

 

"I do not require you're protection Dean. You should not worry about me," the angel assured.

 

 

 

Dean shook his head, "Cass I had to pull your ass out of the ringer less than a month ago. You were almost smited- or um whatever- by that asshole Zachariah."

 

 

 

"I had that under control," Castiel assured.

 

 

 

Dean rolled his eyes as he took another drink from the quickly emptying beer bottle in his hand.

 

 

 

"Sure that's why you got laid flat on your ass and couldn't get back up. I mean you had it all under control, until I screwed up and stepped in just to save your life. Sure you were knocking on deaths door but that was all a part of your damn plan huh."

 

 

 

Castiel's face showed no expression now; Dean knew he had made him mad.

 

 

 

"Dean…," the angel started but Dean shook his head.

 

 

 

"You might not like it Castiel but as long as you're with us, you are my responsibility. You can tell me that you don't need it but as long as you're here, you're stuck with me being over protective and saving your ass. Best thing for you to do is shut up and get used to it angel-face."

 

 

 

Castiel was surprised by what Dean had said he had never really heard Dean say anything like that before.

 

 

 

"Dean..," the washer and dryer went off before the angel could say anything.

 

 

 

Dean smirked and got up; he stretched then tossed his empty beer bottle and made his way to the laundry room.

 

 

 

"This was a nice little chat. Listen keep an eye out, just make sure no demons or creepy things come sneaking up to the house and get the drop on us. You do that and I won't make you fold Sammy or Adam's undies and I might even fix you one of those bacon sandwiches you like so much."

 

 

 

Castiel watched as Earth's savior made his way to the back room to do his brothers' laundry, Dean was very amazing.

 

 

 

He had to be one of the Father's most amazing creations; even if that wasn't so Castiel thought it was. He thought Dean was the most amazing thing on this Earth.

 

 

 

He was such a creature of pure love, pure hope, pure determination, and so far the only human he had ever met who would sacrifice anything and everything for those he loved.

 

 

 

"Alright Dean, I will keep watch over the house and those in it."

 

 

 

Castiel could barely hear Dean's response, but he heard it all the same.

 

 

 

"You do that Angel-face."

 

 

 

There was the nickname again the one that made Castiel's stomach flutter in a way that he still didn't understand.

 

 

 

He didn't enjoy hearing anyone else call him that, he only got that fluttery feeling from Dean.

 

 

 

Castiel couldn't understand why but he knew the reason had to be important.

 

 

 

 

 

//  * \\\

 

 

 

 

 

Dean grumbled irritably as he listened to Sam and Adam going at it again.

 

 

 

"Why can't I help research?"

 

 

 

"Because, one you have absolutely no idea how to read Latin," Sam was interrupted by Adam.

 

 

 

"Yeah I do Bobby has been helping me with it. He's a good teacher and I'm a quick learner and I'm pretty good at it so far."

 

 

 

Sam shook his head, "This stuff isn't something you just pick up. I've been learning it and reading it since I was little. You've only actively been at it for like two weeks."

 

Dean rubbed at his forehead, he was getting a headache, and the lack of sleep was slowly starting to grind at his nerves. Not only that, but he was sore everywhere and he was pretty sure it had something to do with his cleaning spree this morning. He had ended up not only cleaning the entire first floor, but the Impala, the garage, and he even ended up cleaning the second floor without waking anyone up. Dean was dog tired and on his last nerve at the moment.

 

 

 

He didn't really understand why Sammy wouldn't let Adam help with the research. Dean had watched the kid working on his Latin all week, Adam was pretty damn good at it to.

 

What was it with Sam?

 

 

 

"Why don't you go practice you’re shooting or fighting with Bobby or Dean?"

 

 

 

Dean finally spoke up on that one, "Because Sammy, Bobby is working on cars in the garage and I'm not in the mood to spend half the day dodging bullets."

 

 

 

"Hey! I'm getting better," Adam mumbled.

 

 

 

Dean sighed, "Yeah you are but my point is you two need to learn to work together, without tearing each other's throat out."

 

 

 

"But Dean I've got this," Sammy assured.

 

 

 

Dean rubbed at his forehead again, damn headache.

 

 

 

"I get that, but here's the thing, you'd get this done faster with Adam's help. So suck it up  butter cup and let you're little brother help," Dean said in a calm voice sounding a lot like their father without even realizing it.

 

 

 

Sammy and Adam caught it though, they really heard the 'John Winchester' tone, they even bought gave Dean the same look of annoyance.

 

 

 

"You're not the boss," Adam grumbled.

 

 

 

"No he's not," Sammy agreed.

 

 

 

Dean shook his head, only his little brothers would choose to agree only on ganging up on him.

 

 

 

"Know what, I don't care. Get this shit done and stop acting like damn eight-year-olds, because I ain't got the time to play daddy. In case you both forgot, the end of the world is coming and so far we got two really pissy higher beings wanting to wear anyone with Winchester blood to the prom. Grow up," Dean snapped as he got up and headed up stairs. He stopped only to turn back around and shoot both of his brothers a glare before adding, "Both of you work together on this, because if it ain't moving along smoothly by the time I come back down I'll find out what I need and go after the damn thing on my own."

 

 

 

Dean went upstairs before either of the two boys could respond; sure maybe he had lost his temper a bit, but really he wasn’t asking too much.

 

 

 

All he wanted was for his brothers to be safe and happy.

 All he needed was for them both to work together, because that was the only way that they would survive this shit.

 

 

 

Dean walked into his room and made way over to the bed, after making sure to lock the door behind him. Dean pulled his shirt off then flopped face first onto the bed with a groan.

 

 

 

"Are you alright Dean?"

 

 

 

Dean jumped like he’d touched a live wire at the sound of Castiel's voice.

 

 

 

"Damn it," he growled, "Cass how many times am I going to have to tell you not to do that?"

 

 

 

"I apologize once again.”

 

 

 

Dean sighed and laid his cheek against the cool pillow, "Its fine, just no more popping up out of no were. I don't think my nerves can handle much more of that. If you haven’t notice surprises aren’t a good thing at the moment."

 

 

 

Castiel nodded, "I understand and I will consider that the next time I show up, Are you alright, though Dean?"

 

 

 

Dean smirked, "Fine. Just a little sore and feeling a bit on edge is all."

 

 

 

"You worked too hard this morning," Castiel pointed out, "you should have been resting."

 

 

 

"I don't think I could’ve if I tried," Dean admitted.

 

 

 

"Why not?"

 

 

 

"Too tensed up to sleep," Dean answered.

 

 

 

Dean watched as Castiel cocked his head to the side, he held back the urge to chuckle. Dean was never sure why but Castiel reminded him of a puppy every time he did that. Castiel just looked so innocent at times, sometimes it made Dean’s stomach flip flop.

 

 

 

"Could I be of some assistance?"

 

 

 

Dean shook his head, "Not unless you've got some amazing massage powers up your sleeve."

 

 

 

Castiel disappeared then reappeared at Dean's side, Dean jumped once again as he felt Castiel's hand on his back.

“Damn it, Cass,” Dean growled.

“Sorry,” Castiel replied.

Dean swallowed the groan that fought to pass his lips; Cass's hands were so warm and big. He felt his face heat up, this was not good. No, see the only times he ever felt Castiel's hands on his back like that were in wet dreams and they usually caused him to wake up with a strong need for a long cold shower.

 

 

 

"What the hell are you doing?"

 

 

 

"I am making you're aches better," Castiel answered.

 

 

 

Dean felt warmth cover his back as Castiel's hands gently touched him.

 

 

 

"I t-think you should stop Cass," Dean said stumbling over his words.

 

 

 

"Why?"

 

 

 

Castiel's hands continued to gentle make their way over Dean's back, leaving little trails of electricity over his skin. Those sensations and that touch were like a direct line right to Dean’s cock- he felt himself twitch in his jeans.

 

 

 

"Be-because it's distracting me," Dean swallowed back a groan, "and if I'm distracted how am I supposed to focus on sleeping?"

 

 

 

Castiel still his movements and Dean could almost see the angel’s head cocking to the side, "Dean that makes no sense."

 

 

 

Dean slightly cursed himself, he knew that made no sense, but when the head downstairs started thinking for him making sense wasn’t high up on his list.

This sucked.

The one time Dean got something he wanted and, well he really couldn't have it.

Cass was not something he could have.

 

Dean bite into his pillow as a wave of pleasure shot through him, the friction on his cock that the mattress below him and his jeans caused was the worst kind of painful pleasure. His body was trying very hard to react to Castiel's touch, even as his mind was screaming 'no'.

 

 

 

"I think you should stop now," Dean said clearing his throat, "I'm fine now."

 

 

 

Dean hated this, hated that for once in his life the one thing he wanted was something that he couldn't risk having. He hated that he couldn't show Cass how he felt, that he couldn't enjoy this.

 

 

 

"Alright Dean, I will stop," Castiel sighed.

 

 

 

Dean relaxed and swallowed the panic that had settled in his throat.

 

 

 

"Thanks," Dean said.

 

 

 

"You’re welcome," Castiel said as he sat down on the second twin size bed. Dean composed himself and turned his head to look at Cass.

 

 

 

"What are you doing?"

 

 

 

"I am sitting Dean," Castiel deadpanned.

 

 

 

Dean sighed, "I got that much, but why in here? There are plenty of chairs down stairs."

 

 

 

"I know but I do not wish to listen to your younger brothers’ squabble. They are very irritating and I don’t have the patience for their bickering like you or Bobby do."

 

 

 

Dean laughed, "Yeah well, you get used to it. its something that they'll kept at for a while, I’m sure."

 

 

 

Castiel nodded, "Yes, but I still find it rather irritating and I would rather be in here with you. You are not as irritating, though the way you have become different lately, is slightly annoying. I’m curious as to what has caused the sudden change to happen."

 

 

 

Dean shook his head, "What change? Cass, I'm the same as I've always been."

 

 

 

"No, you seem different."

 

 

 

Dean sighed, "How so?"

 

 

 

"I'm not sure, but it seems that only around me that you become different. You seem, tense and angry at times. Have I done something to upset you?"

 

 

 

Dean's eyes widened, so Cass had noticed?

 

 

 

Damn, this angel was very perceptive.

 

 

 

"I'm not angry, tense yes because well I’ve got a lot on my plate. You haven't upset me though, Cass."

 

 

 

"Are you sure, because whenever I am around you seem to grow even tenser."

 

 

 

Dean swallowed; his mouth was so dry that it clicked audibly throughout the room. This was worse the having to listen to the two brats downstairs argue.

 

 

 

Dean sighed, obviously he was going to have to play the grumpy ticked off card with his angel to.

 

 

 

"I'm sure. Castiel, listen I'm tired all the time, I've been busting my ass a lot lately because everyone has decided to stop pulling their weight, and I've been having to play dad to not one but two boys down stairs who've both decided to start acting like ten-year-olds . Cass, if I've been treating you different it’s not because I'm mad it's because I'm stretched out to thin and fighting to make sure that things don't blow up in our faces."

 

 

 

Dean could hear the mean intent in his voice; he had to force it to be there.

 

 

 

"Dean?"

 

 

 

"I'm just tired," Dean sighed, "I don't mean to snap just need some sleep."

 

 

 

Castiel nodded, "I understand. Do wish for me to help?"

 

 

 

"No Cass," Dean sighed.

 

 

 

"Should I leave?"

 

 

 

"Actually, could you do me a big favor and go make sure the pair of idiots downstairs don't kill each other? I need them to get this research done sometime soon. You know before this scary demon thing kills us."

 

 

 

Castiel nodded, "Alright, I’ll suffer through their bickering for you. Please just make sure to get some sleep."

 

 

 

Dean gave Castiel a smile, "Alright, thanks Angel Face."

 

 

 

Dean closed his eyes until he heard the sound of wings then opened them again only to find he was the only left in the room.

 

 

 

He sighed and pressed his face into the pillow willing the erection he had hidden under him away.

 

 

 

"Damn Cass," Dean mumbled into the pillow, "can't you see that you're pushing any and all self-restraint that I have? Who ever thought an Angel could be the most sinfully and tempting thing in my life?"

 

 

 

Dean groaned and slowly slipped off into a light sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

 

 

Dean had determined somewhere between sleeping for five hours and being woken up by the sound of his own frantic yelling that he hated Castiel.

 

Why you might ask, well it was because Dean knew that somehow that evil angel had managed to cause Dean to slip into a peaceful state of mind and relax. He didn’t dout for a second that Cass hadn’t swooped back in and whammied him into a heavy sleep.

 

Now to Dean relaxing was not good because relaxing meant that he was no longer on the ball and he was more likely to be caught off guard. Like now for instance, he was currently rolling out of bed and hitting the floor with a very loud thud, which was instantly followed by the sound of multiple pairs of feet rushing up the stairs and toward his room.

 

"Dean!"

 

Dean jumped a bit as he heard Sammy hit the door, "Dean! Dean open the door."

 

Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes, "I'm okay stop banging on the door, damn it."

 

Dean got his feet and stumbled over to the door, he unlocked it and yanked it open, only to come face to- well umm almost face with Sammy.

 

Okay it was face to chest- freaking giant.

 

"Can I help you?"

"Dean why were you yelling?"

 

"Sammy is he okay?"

 

Dean looked around Sammy at Adam, "I'm fine Adam."

 

"Dean you screamed," Sammy said pulling Dean's attention back to him.

 

Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes looked up at Sammy, "I didn't scream it was a yell and it was just another nightmare. Dude screaming? I don't scream."

 

"Was it about..," Dean stopped him.

 

"No, it was about being stuck in a room with you and Adam. You guys were ten and hopped up on sugar. God it was awful," Dean lied, “I thought I was going to lose my mind.”

 

Adam blushed and Sammy shook his head.

 

Obviously his humor was wasted on his brothers.

 

Bobby laughed, "Having to put up with these two as kids would be a nightmare alright. You okay though Dean?"

 

Dean smirked as he heard Bobby yell up the stairs, sound carried very well in this little old house.

"'m fine Bobby," Dean yelled back.

 

"Good, had me trying to figure out just how I was gonna get this damn chair up the stairs," Bobby called.

 

Dean shook his head, "Knowing you, you could do it."

 

"Damn right," Bobby yelled back up, "you hungry? I'm fixing some lunch."

 

"Yeah I could go for some grub."

 

"Alright then," Bobby yelled back up.

 

Dean looked back at his brothers and yawned, "Excuse me, for a minute boys; I'm going to go find my shirt. It's colder than a damn witch's tit in here."

 

Adam snickered but Sammy just rolled his eyes. Damn, Sammy had no sense of humor these days.

 

Dean turned and went to grab his shirt only to find Castiel holding it out to him.

 

Dean jumped, "Shit, Cass! Okay, what did I say about this? Is it so hard to remember rule number one?"

 

He took his shirt from the angel and quickly slipped it on.

 

"I thought the personal space thing was number one," Adam pointed out.

 

"No that one was downgraded to number three after Castiel popped up out of nowhere and scarred off one of the girls that Dean was flirting with," Sam explained as he brushed past Dean and plopped down on one of the twin beds. Adam shrugged and took the empty space on the second bed, sitting cross-legged and watching Dean.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, Sammy had that wrong, Dean was thankful that Castiel popped up out of nowhere that day, he really didn't need to sleep with those girls. On an emotional level he was too fucked up that day to take on a one nightstand.

 

Castiel had kind of saved him.

 

Cass, kind of did that on a regular basis, even if he didn't know it.

 

But the whole personal space thing had been downgraded mainly, because Dean like having Castiel close, it calmed him.

 

It made him feel…safe.

 

Dean cleared his throat and fixed his shirt then turned to his brothers, trying to push those thoughts out of his mind.

 

This not the place or time to start getting all mushy-brained about Cass.

 

Dean decided to move to one of the subjects that he was more comfortable with.

 

"So anything new on this weird demon bitch?"

 

"Yup," Adam said excitedly beating Sammy to the punch.

 

Dean grinned at the look at Adam; the kid was basically bouncing in in place.

 

Adam was really into all of this. He was the little extra light thrown into Dean and Sam's life, making then easier. Dean actually felt more-more complete whenever he saw his brother's together- arguing or getting along, it didn't matter. It all made Dean feel complete.

 

 Dean could be having the shitiest day ever and just walking into a room where his brothers were could make it all better.

 

Dean treated Adam just like he treated Sammy and he mothered him like crazy just like he did Sammy. Dean was really bad about triple checking any and all of Adam's gear- he did the same for Sammy but always made sure that he did it when Sammy couldn't see him doing it. He even went into panic mode whenever he didn't have Adam insight during a hunt- he had only just gotten over doing that with Sammy about two years back and even then he still had moments when he was on a hunt that he had to take a moment and assure himself that Sammy was fine- that he had triple check his gear and even slipped an extra protection charm here and there.

 

Yes, Dean was a closeted worry-wart when it came to his younger brothers.

 

"And? Mind filling me in Adam?"

 

He stilled picked on the kid, after all- putting aside the whole mother hen thing, Dean was still the oldest brother and at liberty to give him a hard time.

 

"Oh yeah," Adam said with a blush, "so this thing is a something known as a Hag. She is supposed to feed off of only a certain type of people but none of the books said what that type was- well not clearly. Lots of cryptic bullshit.  It said that she de-ages her victims to the age of four -some sacred number for her or something- so that they are the most vulnerable by craving a symbol into their chests, then she slowly begins to drain their life source by causing their memories of the times that caused them the most misery to flash through their minds, and then she causes them to go into a massive panic attack that actually causes them to die by forcing all the bad memories to flash through their mind all at once."

 

Dean looks at Adam with his eyebrow cocked, he hated de-ageing cases.

 

They always sucked. He hated more that kids were being hurt.

 

"De-age? Is that the reason all the victims are kids?"

 

"Yup, "Sammy cut in, "they are actually de-aged adults, who the Hag fed off of."

 

Dean sighed, damn it! He hated kid cases, even if the kids were actually de-aged adults.

 

"I believe that I just said that," Adam grumbled.

 

Dean chuckled at that and glanced over at Cass. Big mistake, Cass was eyeing him down with those beautiful baby blues.

 

Dean tensed and looked away, not his smoothest of moments.

 

"Oh come off it Adam," Sammy grumbled.

 

"Sasquatch," Adam mumbled.

 

"Crybaby," Sammy shot back.

 

Dean shook his head; this was something he could use to ignore his not so smooth actions.

 

That and the case.

 

Dean sat down on his bed, ignoring his brothers as they began to squabble, this was some freaky crap, but it explained why all the victims had been young children. At least now it made a bit more sense.

 

Even if he didn't like the sense that it made.

 

"Anything else?"

 

Dean looked up and both the boys before him instantly stopped bickering.

 

"Yeah," Sammy spoke up, "this Hag, she is supposedly fond of men. That's why all our victims have been male. She almost seems to be able to cause the memories that she feeds off of to become visually, physically, and mentally tangible to herself and whoever is around when the victim's mind begins to relive the situation. The book said that the memories are seen in random orders, and that the victim will go into a trance and their nose will start to bleed whenever the memories start up but afterwards they don't remember having the flashbacks. The entire process takes at least two months."

                                                                                                                                 

Dean looks up, "Two months? That explains the dead body pattern. How do we gank the bitch?"

 

Dean watched as both of his brothers frowned, that couldn't be good.

 

"What is it? Come on! Please tell me you two know how to kill her."

 

"No," Adam mumbled, "we don't."

 

"There was no mention on how to kill a Hag in the books."

 

Dean sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, great how was he supposed to hunt something he didn't know how to kill.

 

Sure he'd done that before but he wouldn't do that now, now when he had to worry about Sam and a very inexperienced Adam.

 

"You have to poison the symbol carved onto the child's chest with a holy oil and silver mixture and then the child has to stab the Hag in the chest with a liquid silver tipped angel feather," Castiel answered.

 

Dean looked over at his angel and smirked, "At least one of the team members has got this shit down."

 

Castiel nodded, "I looked into the Hag's past a bit while you were sleeping. We have to find a child who has been under her spell and keep him away from her for nearly a month then on the second day of the second month we must poison the mark and summon the Hag so that the child can kill her."

 

Dean nodded, "Sounds great. All accept the part about poisoning a kid. Will it kill the kid?"

 

"There is a high chance it will if the Hag deserts the child and does not appear when summoned. It is said that while the child bares the mark the Hag is very attached to it."

 

"This thing kills the kid but she is attached to it? That really doesn't make sense," Adam sighed.

 

Since when did any of these demonic assholes make sense?

 

Dean shrugged, "I don't care how that thing's mind works, all I care about killing it. Thing is we won't endanger a kid, de-aged adult or not, just to do it. We'll call that plan B. Any other ways?"

 

"If she sees the true form of an angel she will be destroyed and the bond to the child will be broken. I understand that breaking the connection this way is not without side effects to the child," Castiel explained. "What are the side effects," Adam asked. "Having the bonds broken by any outside force other than the child's own hand automatically has a deadly effect, having an angel's grace breaking the bond does not kill the child but it might cause the child to either be lost within his own mind until the ending of days or go through the rest of his life seeing the the true form of all supernatural beings until he loses his sanity," the angel answered. The room was silent for a moment before Dean spoke up, "Well alright, I'm knocking that one back to a plan C situation. Anyone got a plan A that doesn't involve killing the kid or driving him insane?" The room was silent again.

 

"Fine, I'll figure out a plan A on the way there," Dean assured.

 

All eyes locked on Dean.

 

"Dean," Sammy starts, "I hate the idea of risking a kid's life but we can't just go in winging it."

 

"Sammy is right Dean," Adam agreed.

 

Sure his brothers would agree when it involved going against his decisions.

 

Dean shrugged, "You all heard me. Risking the kid's life and mental health is our last resort and since no one seems to be pulling any 'plan a' types out of their asses then we're going to my method."

 

Dean stood up and left the room, making it obvious that he wasn't changing his mind and that they were going to have to get over that.

 

"Dean," Dean stopped as he heard Cass call his name.

 

He turned back and looked through the doorway, "Yeah Cass?"

 

"Also, the Hag goes after first borns only, but only a certain type of first born."

 

Dean stashed that bit on info away, "Do you know what that 'type' is?"

 

"No, it seems she has somehow managed to keep that to herself."

 

Dean sighed, "Alright then. We'll work on figuring out that part as we go. First I need food."

 

Dean turned from the three men in his room and made his way downstairs, trying to ignore the memory of Cass's eyes on him.

 

// * \\\

 

"Do you think that it will be wise to bring Adam along?"

 

Dean shrugged, "No I don't, but he has to learn things sooner or later with this whole end of the world thing. I mean I might not always be there to save him, and well I at least want him to know how to shoot a gun."

 

Dean gave Adam and Sammy's bag a twice over then turned to Castiel who was awfully quiet.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"I do not enjoy the thought of you not 'being around.' It is not a pleasant idea to place in someone's head. Please don’t speak that way anymore."

 

Dean looked up at Cass in surprise, he had never heard Cass's voice hold emotion, but there had been just a pinch of it there in his voice.

 

"Um, okay. But it is true," Dean stated, "after all, I'm human Cass. We die all the time and well things are kind of stack against me in like a major cosmic kind of way."

 

Cass didn't say anything back, he just kind of sat there- Dean didn't like that too much.

 

"Hey, what's with you? Cass, come on, I don't need you all doom and gloom just because I pointed something out to you."

 

Cass cocked his head to the side, in that cute curious puppy way -Sammy's words not Dean's- and Dean felt his heart flutter. Sure Dean wasn't the sensitive type but damn it all if that was cute as hell!

 

Dean realized that he was starring and quickly cleared his throat then turned back to the bags. He lifted up one of Sam's guns and instantly noticed that something was wrong with it.

 

"Damn it," Dean sighed.

 

"What is the matter?"

 

"This gun is messed up, looks like Sammy messed it worse then he’d thought. He should’ve already taken this out of his pack. If he grabbed this thing during a sticky situation things would go south pretty fast,” Dean sighed as he looked at the gun in annoyance “damn it, this is something to expect from Adam but not Sammy. He knows better."

 

Dean sat the gun down on top of his bag and put one of his guns into Sammy's bag.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"I'm giving him one of mine, till I fix this one up or scrap it. I'm going to have to chew him out about this. He could've gotten killed if he was out on a hunt."

 

Dean shook his head; they couldn't afford screw ups like this, that's why he was always ended up doing these damn double checks.

 

He didn't want to lose his brothers.

 

"I'm sure he did not mean to Dean. He has been working very hard and he has also been very busy with Adam. He has taught him a lot about researching," Castiel said.

 

Dean sighed and gave Cass a smirk, "Alright, I guess I'll let it slid this time. Sammy owes you one for talking me out of tearing him a new."

 

"He owes me nothing, I was only making a point," Cass assured.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and went to look for the tool kit he usually used to work on the guns with.

 

Where had he put it?

 

"Dean!"

 

Dean jerked around as Adam came running into the room; he quickly looked for any wound, missing limbs, or bloody spots. His stomach unknot whenever he was assured Adam was not hurt.

 

"What the hell? Adam, okay first rule we don't scream and yell like that unless we're hurt, because big brothers will end up having heart attacks. Now what is it?"

 

Adam blushed, "Sorry for screaming, but I found out that you can stun a Hag by shooting her with rock salt that’s been blessed. It makes her vulnerable for a few moments."

 

"That's good to hear," Dean praised, "good work Adam."

 

Adam smiled, "Thank Dean."

 

"Dean!"

 

Dean jumped and gave Sammy the same treatment, obviously Adam wasn't that only who had forgotten the no yelling rule.

 

"Damn it Sammy! I just got on to Adam for pulling that shit. What the hell is so important that it's got you yelling?"

 

"Dean, I just got a call from Gary- the guy who called us in on this hunt, and he said that he and his son have the Hag trapped. They said that they need us out there to help finish her off."

 

Dean looked at Adam, "See now that's a reason to yell. Let's go you guys. Cass, can you go on ahead and make sure the bitch doesn't skip town on us?"

 

Cass nodded, "Alright."

 

Dean looked back at the bags and remembered that he needed to grab a protection charm for Adam, he had just finished making it and wanted to make sure Adam had it before they went on any hunts.

 

"Okay you two grab your bags and head to the Impala I have to grab something and then I'll be right there."

 

"Alright Dean," Adam said as he quickly grabbed his bag, Dean left the room right as Sammy noticed the gun sitting on top of Dean's bag.

 

"Hey Dean! Don't forget you gun," Sammy called as he ushered Adam out to the car.

 

He heard Dean yell back, "I won't just start the car."

Dean ran back into the room and shoved the gun into the bag; he felt a slightly nagging feeling about doing that. Something said he should rethink this but the adrenaline and nerves about bringing Adam along over powered that feeling.

 

Dean was in the car and peeling out of Bobby's driveway before he could give that nagging thought about the gun a second thought.

 

"What did you have to grab Dean?"

 

Dean pulled the small bracelet from his pocket and tossed it back to Adam.

 

"What's this?"

 

"A protection charm. I made for you so I could have some peace of mind. Put it on and don't you dare take it off."

 

"Aye aye captain," Adam said with a mock salute, "I didn't know you were such an artist Dean."

 

Dean smirked, "Well I am, I'm the next Picasso minus the missing ear. Listen just make sure you keep that damn thing on your arm. It'll keep you safe and me from having to bust my ass over keeping you out of the red zone."

 

Dean glanced back in the rearview mirror and caught the scowl on Adam's face.

 

"Hey, don't give me that look, I make Sammy wear one too. Hell, I even made him get a tattoo to keep him safe. The only reason you ain't got one yet is because you're too young."

 

"What? Dean I'm seventeen! I can handle a tattoo. What are you, my mother?"

 

 

"As long as you're a hunter yeah, consider me den mother Dean. Till you hit nineteen your ass is mine. Those adoption papers I went through officially state that."

 

"Nineteen? DUDE! I thought we agreed on eighteen and I also thought that they were just for show," Adam whined.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and attempted to pay attention to the road.

 

"Wait adoption papers? When was I going to be told about that?"

 

Dean looked over at Sammy, "I thought Bobby told you."

 

"Uh no," Sam said, "so you're his legal guardian now?"

 

"We are his legal guardians now."

 

"Um what?"

 

"I forged your signature. Bobby was the witness. As of last week, Dean and Sam Winchester, half-brothers and only living relatives of Adam Milligan, are his two legal guardians and care givers till he is the age of nineteen."

 

The car was silent for a moment as Sam took this all in.

 

"Oh my God, Dean you know a little warning would be nice," Sam snapped, "I mean I would like to be in the loop when it comes to adopting my baby brother!”

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Its done now, get over it."

 

"Dean, I just wish you would've told me! I mean apparently everyone but me knew. I would've liked to have been there to sign the papers."

 

"We were on a limited amount of time and I just wanted to make sure he couldn't get taken away. He's our responsibility now, beyond that, he's our baby brother and we have to make sure he's stuck with us. We have to keep him safe and that's why the adoption was done so suddenly. Now drop it, I'm trying to do at least ninety and it's hard when I'm arguing."

 

That seemed to end the argument for the remainder of the drive.

 

No one spoke till they were just about there, and it was Adam who broke the silence.

 

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you Sammy. Don't be mad okay," he said.

 

"I'm not mad, I just wish that I could’ve been there. It was an important family thing."

 

"Good, next time we do something like that I’ll make sure Dean fills you in." Adam said with a smile.

 

“I’m holding you to that,” Sam chuckled.

 

Dean grinned; he enjoyed hearing his brothers get along, it made all the tough times worth it.

 

Plus, it lessened that urge to kick their asses for bitching at each other that much more.

 

"Okay no more sappy shit," Dean spoke up, "we're here and I need you both to be on your toes. Sammy you and Adam stick together. Cass and I will go in first you two follow with Gary and Stephan. Make sure you two keep sharp and cover the exits.”

 

Dean didn’t lack any faith in Gary or his kid, but he felt that this entire hunt would go better if Sam had Adam’s back and Cass had his back. Well, the hunt might go better but mostly Dean could go in without worrying that some dumb ass hunter was going to get his brothers killed- so really the team up was mostly for Dean’s piece of mind.

 

No one had to know that though.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Dean parked the car and they all quickly went about gathering their things and getting out, they were instantly met by Gary and Stephan.

 

"Dean! Over here," Gary called.

 

Dean waved and quickly headed over, his brothers followed right behind him.

 

"Where's the Hag at?"

Dean was quick to get right to the point.

 

"She's in the center of the factory with the kid. She can't get out, Stephan and I hung up a few prayer bags around the factory so she's basically stuck," Gary answered.

 

"Is the kid alright?"

 

"We don't know. We couldn't get a good look at the boy. I think he's alright though," Stephan answered, "this Hag thing is real mad. She almost clipped me with a steal beam, we were lucky to get out of there."

 

Gary nodded, "That weird friend of yours showed up out of nowhere and that thing in there got real quiet. He's standing over by the entrance chanting something. Couldn’t figure out the language for the life of me."

 

Dean nodded, "Chanting and popping up out of nowhere are a few of the things he excels at.”

Dean looked over toward the entrance of the less than sturdy looking building, it looked like one good guest would send the whole thing crashing in on itself.

 

“You sure that place can handle Castiel? I mean when he goes all ‘Angel of the Lord,’ things tend to get a little extreme,” Sam pointed out in a low voice that only Dean could hear.

Dean gave a shrug and a less than certain look, “If Cass don’t bring it down a strong breeze might. Let’s just hope that the wind doesn’t pick up and that Castiel understands the meaning of less is more.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better about this, Dean,” Sam grumbled.

“Well, all I can tell you is to cross your fingers and hope for the best.”

Dean turned away from Sam, cutting off any further comments and leveled his sighed back on Gary and Stephan, “Right, okay this is how it’s going down. This is a basic surround and take down plan with a slight twist to it.”

“What’s the twist, Dean,” Gary questioned.

Dean nodded over his shoulder toward Castiel, “Our weird friend over there.”

 

"What is he going to do?"

“Well, he’s going to pull out so pretty serious mojo so we can at least stun her ass long enough to get the kid away and figured out the rest as we go.”

“I thought that was a plan C situation,” Adam broke in, “are we skipping A and B?”

Dean shook his head, “No we aren’t skipping to plan C. We’re still on A, I’m just adding a few elements of C to it.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with you mixes elements of C with unknown elements of A,” Adam grumbled.

“Yeah, well A needs a little structure from C,” Dean huffed.

“I was expecting something a little more strategic and less Sesame Street,” Gary sighed.

Sam shook his head, “You and me both.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Hey, just trust me, this will work. Just follow my plan and remember to shut your eyes when I tell you to.”

“Why? I’d think keeping our eyes open would be an important thing to do on a hunt,” Stephan pointed out.

 

"Usually that is pretty high up there on important things to do but this time is a little different,” Sam assured.

“Why?”

“Cause kid," Dean answered, "if you don't your eyes will get burnt out of your head."

"Eyes closed when you say so, got it," Stephan said.

“Do I want to know what kind of mojo your friend there is packing, Dean?”

“Trust me Gary, you don’t want to know,” Sam answered.

Dean gave a nod, “He’s right.”

"Fine, I’m not going to ask just as long as whatever he does gets rid of this bitch,” Gary sighed, “How we gonna do this Dean?"

"You two are going to head in with Sam and Adam. Cass and I are heading in first to distract her and stun her with a few rounds of blessed rock salt. After that I'll need you two and my brothers to grab the kid and book it, while Cass and I will hold her off. Once we know that you’re all out of that death trap- then Cass will whammy her and"

"Why don’t you just kill her as soon as we get the kid away from her?"

"Because we need her alive until after we break the bonding spell she has on the boy," Sammy explained, "the Hag has a life bond with the kid. If we kill her and it's not broken the kid dies too."

"You three really did do your research on this thing," Gary said.

Dean pulled his gun out and nodded, "Well it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Let's go before we lose our chance."

Dean ran over to Cass with the others on his heels.

"Cass let's go, I’ve got a few things to fill you in on. Remember you four circle around the sides so we can get her caged in but don't give your positions away wait till you hear the gun shot, then grab the kid and haul ass," Dean reminded.

"Be careful Dean," Adam said.

"I will. You be extra careful and stick to Sammy like glue.”

"Oh believe me, with you screwing around with the alphabet plans, I’m going to like this guy’s second shadow," Adam assured.

Dean smirked, "Let's go Cass."

 

 

The factory was silent as Dean and Castiel made their way through it. The entire place looked like it would fall apart any second and maybe it would.

That really didn't help Dean's nerves.

He couldn't help but worry about Adam, the kid wasn't even in the place yet and here he was nearly having a heart attack. Dean's head was filled with thoughts of the kid tripping or shooting his own toe off. Adam was a klutz and well it scared the hell out of Dean to imagine the kid holding a gun, but it was important that he learned this stuff if he was so determined to stay with his brothers.

 

 

 

"Dean, are you alright?"

"I'm fine just thinking about how fun it's going to be to sneak up on something that already knows we're here."

Dean ducked under a low hanging beam then stopped in his tracks as he heard the sound of a child crying.

"Dean-"

"Shh! Listen," Dean snapped.

 

Cass went silent- the crying could be heard clearer now.

“Dean,” Castiel whispered, “what is the plan for us?”

“I need you to show a little leg,” Dean whispered over his shoulder.

“I do not understand how showing my leg wil-“

“No, Cass I need you to show her a little of your grace. You know just the light show without the bursting into flames part,” Dean explained.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Castiel admitted.

“Well give it a go. Nothing fancy, just scare that bitch enough for Sammy and the others to get the goods and book it.”

“I’ll try,” Castiel promised.

“Thanks Cass,” Dean said with a nod as he looked back around the beam.

He looked around and gave it the all clear, then turned back to Cass and motioned for him to follow quietly.

 

Cass nodded and followed as Dean led the way.

The crying got louder as the neared the center of the factory, and the debris got worse.

 

It looked like a damn tornado had been through here.

Apparently that bitch had a temper; this didn't curve Dean's worry about Adam in the least.

 

"Stop crying! You have no reason to cry, I'm here! I'll make it all better Tommy, I always make it better don't I?"

 

"I want to go home," Dean heard the kid whimper, "I want to go home and I want my head to stop hurting."

 

"SHUT UP!"

 

Dean cringed for the kid, this bitch gave him the Hebe jebes and that was saying something.

 

"I feel hot, please make it stop hurting," the kid whimpered.

 

Dean peeked around a half standing wall and caught his first glimpse of the hag.

 

What he saw shocked him; this 'Hag' looked beautiful, she looked like the beauty queen of moms everywhere. Her hair was long and blonde, tied back in a loose braid, and her pale skin almost had an ethereal glow about it. Her eyes and nails where the only things that could give her a way- her eyes were black and her nails looked like damn butcher knives, but other than that she was eerily beautiful.

 

Dean felt something pull at the back of his mind, something that told him to go to her; he shook it off and focused on the sound of the boy crying.

 

"I want to go home please," Tommy cried.

 

Dean could see him as the Hag paced past, he was small and in dirty clothes. Dean could see that he had a lot of dried blood on him and even from where he stood he could tell that the kid was sweating.

The kid looked rough, he looked almost most dead.

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat; kids weren't supposed to be treated like this.

 

This bitch was going to get it.

 

Dean looked over toward the far right and saw Adam and Sammy in place he glance over the far left and made sure Gary and Stephan were in place as well then took his gun and aimed right at the bitch's head.

 

"Shh, Tommy," Dean heard the hag say sweetly, "you are home. You're with me; I'm here to keep you safe."

 

Dean paused, his finger was right on the trigger but hearing the Hag's tone froze him in his tracks. That voice made him feel suddenly jealous of the kid, jealous that he wasn't the one the Hag was taking care of and talking to in that sweet voice.

“I’m going to catch her attention,” Dean whispered to Castiel, “get her on us while the others run in. Once they’ve got the kid out of the danger zone, I’ll give them a heads up and you give her a light show.”

“Right,” Cass whispered back.

Dean felt Cass nudge him; Dean glanced back at his angel and saw the confused look in his eyes. Dean quickly shook the absurd feeling from his mind and shot evil bitch in the side.

That's when the silent moment was over and the shit started to hit the fan.

 

The Hag went down screaming and clutching her side and Dean watched as Adam and Stephan rushed forward, Sammy and Gary aimed their guns on the Hag and followed behind the two younger boys.

“Hurry and grab him,” Dean yelled, “get as close to the exit as you can then cover your eyes.”

 

Dean and Cass were charging after the Hag, Dean with gun aimed and readied for another shot as the hag got to her feet.

 

"NO! THE CHILD IS MINE!"

 

Dean and the others were taken off guard and forced to cover their ears as the Hag's voice reached a loud horrible screech.

 

"Dean!"

 

"Get out of here with the kid! Hurry Sammy," Dean yelled as he uncovered his ears to keep the gun aimed at the Hag, “Cass, I need you to keep her still!”

“I’ll try,” Castiel yelled back, “I’m not as strong as I was!”

“I know just do what you can,” Dean yelled back.

 

Damn the bitch had some pipes.

 

 

Dean took another shot, frowning as he felt the gun kick a little more than it should have, he shook it off though and focused on the others. The second shot caught the hag in the shoulder, knocking her to the ground and jerking her attention back onto Dean and Castiel.

“Over here you ugly bitch,” Dean shouted, “keep your eyes on the birdie.”

The hag’s eyes locked with Dean’s and almost bore right into his soul- he was locked in place and it was almost the world around him and dropped away for a second.

"Dean! I cannot hold her!"

Castiel’s voice brought Dean back, he felt slightly dazed and almost wobbly on his own feet.

“What?”

“I can’t hold her, my power isn’t holding her!”

Dean watched as the Hag broke Cass's restraints and got to her feet screeching in fury, a huge burst of wind sent nearly everyone flying backwards. Dean was sent slamming into a support column, helplessly watching as Sammy was swept in a pile debris and Adam- while clutching onto the kid was sent flying across the factory with Stephan right along with him. Gary was knocked into one the still standing walls and Cass was sent reeling off to the side.

"Sonofabitch," Dean groaned as he worked on getting to his feet.

"ADAM RUN!"

Dean looked up at the sound of Sammy yelling and felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw the Hag heading for Adam. Dean was on his feet and running before his brain caught up with him, he took another shot at the Hag catching her in the back.

She screamed angrily and whirled around on Dean.

"Hey you bitch leave my brother alone," Dean growled aiming the gun for another shot.

"Well look here," cooed the Hag suddenly, "a new snack."

"Dean!"

"Adam, get up and run," Dean snapped, "I've got this."

"Oh you do? Why my new little toy is a foolish little thing," the Hag chuckled.

Dean took aim, "Play with this bitch."

He pulled the trigger and was met with silence as the gun didn't go off.

Dean's eyes went wide as he pulled the trigger two more times.

"Oh my," the Hag cackled, "it seems your toy is broken."

The gun!

This was Sammy's gun!

Damn it, he had grabbed the defected gun by mistake.

Dean blanched as he realized he was sort of screwed.

"DEAN!"

Well shit, this was going to hurt a lot.

"RUN DEAN! RUN," Adam screamed.

"He can't run, sweetie," the Hag cackled, "because I've got him."

Dean knew she was right, he knew because he couldn't look away from her eyes. He couldn't get his legs to move even though he was trying his damnedest to.

"Shit," Dean whispered as he watched those butcher-knife-like nails get impossibly longer.

All of the sudden instead of ten feet away the Hag was right in front of him and he was being thrown backwards into a wall.

Oh, that hurt.

It hurt really badly.

"DEAN!"

"Sammy, save the kid! Save the damn kid," Dean shouted.

The next thing he knew was his shirt was being ripped to shreds and torn from his chest.

"Shut up you little bastard," the Hag hissed.

"Bite me you bitch," Dean growled.

"Oh I plan to," the Hag growled back, “eventually.”

Dean watched as the Hag brought her nails to his chest, this was getting worse.

Oh man he hoped Cass had enough angel mojo to save his ass.

"You my sweet little Dean are so very perfect. So very filled to the brim with just what I need."

Dean fought and managed to look away to see Adam handing the kid off to Stephan and trying to toward him. He could see Cass getting up and he could see Sammy already stumbling to his feet to try and get his gun aimed at the Hag.

"LET HIM GO!"

POW!

Dean could see that Sammy had hit the Hag but she didn't flinched, her eyes were too focused on him.

She merely waved her hand behind her and sent Sammy flying.

It was like the rock salt hadn’t touch her.

"Now, now, none of that little Samuel," the Hag chuckled, "it's your brother that I want. He is after all that perfect type of tortured soul. He's one of those who have almost tasted death at his own hand. So perfect that he’s already giving me more power than that other little brat ever could."

Dean's eyes went wide as Sammy looked at him in confusion.

Dean felt his heart racing, how did she know?

How could she know about that, about what he had done?

How did she know about those times that he had…..no she couldn't know no one did…..

"Oh my sweet little Dean," she whispered, "I know all your dirty little secrets. I know about it all and I plan of savoring every last bit of it."

The Hag brought her nails to Dean's chest and began to press them into his flesh, Dean started screaming, and he couldn't help it.

God the pain was horrible; it wasn't just the slicing the damn claws felt like they were burning him.

Dean could feel warm blood pouring down his chest, he could hear himself screaming, and God his screaming sounded horrible

He could barely hear Sammy and Adam over his screaming.

He wasn't sure when he closed his eyes but he must have because everything went dark and then he must have passed out because after that he was numb.

The only sound he could hear was his mom's voice.

"Its bedtime Dean," she called, "let's go tell Sammy goodnight."

Dean remembered this, he knew what this was, but why was he remembering that night now?

Oh shit, had the Hag marked him?

There had been blood but…Dean's mind went blank as he heard his mom's voice again.

Suddenly all he could do was listen to his own younger voice answer back.

"Goodnight Sammy," he called.

 

//*\\\

 

Castiel was not one to understand emotions, no, he hadn't ever really understood them, but in the moment he heard Dean's scream he was sure he felt two kinds of emotions.

Fear and rage.

 

He felt fear toward losing Dean and rage toward the Hag bitch that had Dean shoved against the wall. He wasn't even sure how he managed to get to his feet, the Hag had weakened him quite a bit by throwing his spell like that, but he was on his feet in less than a second at the Hag side.

He grabbed her by her neck squeezing tightly, causing alarm to fill the evil bitch's eyes.

"How dare you touch him," Castiel growled as he threw the Hag across the factory.

He felt satisfied as he watched her go through a brick wall.

"Dean!"

Cass turned as he watched Sammy running to Dean’s side; Adam was close on his heels.

Castiel turned and looked back at Dean only to find that Dean's entire body was trembling. Castiel was on his knees next to Dean before he realized it; he put his hand on Dean's forehead and was shocked to find that Dean had an extremely high fever.

"Dean? Please wake up," Castiel whispered.

His eyes widened in fear as he realized how much blood was pouring from Dean's chest.

"Cass is he alright?"

"Sam, get the boy out of here," Castiel shouted, "do your job. I'll worry about Dean."

Castiel looked over his shoulder giving Sammy a warning glare before turning back to Dean.

He was met with the sight of blood pouring form Dean's nose.

Castiel felt his heart stop as the Hag's cackle rang out over the factory; he turned to see her standing outside of the hole in the wall.

"What did you do to him," Castiel snapped.

"I made him mine, little angel," the Hag answered.

"What?"

"Oh you will see soon," the Hag cackled as she disappeared, leaving behind an ashamed and frightened angel.

Castiel was ashamed because he had thrown the Hag outside the area that the prayer bags and frightened because he realized what she had meant when he turned back around and saw the symbol etched into Dean's chest.

It was her binding symbol.

"Damn it," Castiel whispered.

"Cass is he okay?"

Castiel turned to see Adam standing behind him sporting a nasty cut on his forehead and a bruise forming under his left eye.

"I'm not sure. Adam, please make sure the job is done."

"The guy re-aged out of nowhere, Gary and Stephan are helping him out to their truck. They said that they were going to take him to the hospital," Adam answered.

Castiel nodded, "Where is Sammy?"

"Getting the medical kit," Adam answered, "he knows that you can only heal so much."

Castiel looked down at Dean, "He is hurt. I think that the Hag marked him."

The factory went silent, there was no noise but the sound of Dean's heavy breathing.

"He was trying to protect me and this happened," Adam whispered.

"It is not your fault Adam," Castiel assured, "the gun that he was using, I believe he forgot that it was the one that he had taken out of Sam's bag."

"What?"

"He was double checking the weapons like he always does and when he took the gun out he sat it on top of his bag. I believe he may have gotten distracted and forgotten about it."

Adam sat next to Dean and took his hand, "Cass he'll be okay right?"

Castiel nodded, "Of course he will. Dean is very stubborn."

Adam nodded, "He is, isn't he."

 

"Yes, and he would never leave you or Sam alone," Castiel added.

Adam nodded, "I know."

The sound of running feet snapped Castiel back to reality; he turned and saw Sam running over with the medical kit from the Impala. Sammy quickly got to his knees and looking Dean's wounds over.

"Damn," Sammy hissed.

Sammy gently reached down and touched Dean’s forehead, then frowned.

"A fever?"

"Yes I believe-" Castiel stopped as he felt a sudden burst of magic wash over them.

"What the hell!"

Castiel felt something push into his mind and by the looks on Sammy and Adam's faces they felt the same thing.

Castiel realized within an instant what was happening.

The cure on Dean had started and they were being pulled into it.

The Hag’s spell was already working.

This was not good…


	4. Chapter 4

It was kind of hard to explain the feeling of being forcibly sucked into someone else's memory.

If he was ever asked, Adam knew that he would never be able to explain it without sounding like he was explaining a bad acid trip- which he had never had, but the few he’d seen reenacted seemed to match it pretty well. Then there was this horrible after feeling that could be compared to being kicked in both the junk and the chest at the same time.

Altogether, it was a great experience.

Ten out of ten would not recommend it.

He was sure that Sammy would have a way more poetic way of explaining it but he wasn't Sammy.

Hell, he had been told one time to many that he had Dean's personality, sure he had a lot of Sammy's features and had managed to get the height genes that had burnt out in Dean but thrived like weeds hopped up on steroids in Sammy, but damn if he didn't act and react like his oldest brother.

Maybe it was a good thing that Sammy had been the one appointed to teaching him the ways of Winchester living, at least that way he didn't end up pulling what Sammy called 'A Dean'. Adam wasn't entirely sure why it was bad, Dean was alive and well- most of the time anyway.

He wasn’t the poster boy as far as mental health went, but hell after everything that Adam had seen he could understand exactly why Dean was a little shaky in the head.

He’d been worried if he wasn’t.

The way Adam saw it, Dean was pretty well off- well except for the whole having all of Heaven after his ass.

But other than that, Adam strongly believed that Dean was a damn good person.

He had never once in his life met someone so dedicated to keeping his brothers safe, Dean was like a superhero in Adam's eyes. It was obvious that Sam felt the same way, even if he didn't say it out loud, because Adam caught same look of awe in Sam's eyes whenever Dean did something amazing.

So yeah, Dean was awesome which was why Adam didn't understand why it was Dean that fit the criteria for the Hag's meal qualities.

Sure there were a few vices that Dean had but, there couldn't have been anything to bad.

Right?

Dean was a good guy, he was cooler then Batman!

Yeah, so maybe Adam was a bit of a comic book nerd, but the fact remained that Dean was cooler than Batman.

Who wouldn't think that?

Adam felt his stomach twist and turn on him as he felt himself get jerked forward painfully- jerking out of his thoughts harder that a punch to the face. He groaned and shook his head, trying to chase away the fuzzy feeling in his head- the feeling of nausea put a stop to that really quick. He felt like he’d gone ten rounds with a demon in the ring and gotten his ass handed to him.

"Hey, careful there, I’ve got you," Sam soothed, sweeping the fuzzy feeling from Adam’s head.

Sam gently took hold of his little brother's shoulder steadying both himself and Adam in the process. Adam was thankful to have Sam there to ground him and get his focus back on the situation.

“I feel like that time after I let Dean talk me into eating that burger from the shady looking truck stop back in Texas,” Adam groaned.

“If what just happened felt anything like that, then I’m really sorry for laughing at you,” Sam apologized a shaky grin, “just do us all a favor and don’t let anything spew out of either ends.”

Sure now most would think Sam had a poetic response to this whole memory traveling experience, but not this time.

Nope, at the moment Sam was fighting back the urge to publicly announce that the entire experience felt like a mix of having his stomach tore open and getting kicked in the junk at the same time. At one point, he felt like something was trying its damnedest to yank him out of Dean's mind then at another he felt like it was trying to pull him into it.

All he could really say about the entire thing was, “That sucked, really bad.”

Yeah, being sucked into someone’s past really sucked all around.

"It’s so adorable how you think you’re funny. You’re okay though, right Sammy?"

"I'm fine," Sam assured gently before he looked around.  He was slowly taking in the fact that they were no longer in the factory but in the living room of someone's house. It looked oddly familiar to, like he’d been here before, but he couldn’t really put his finger on it.

"Where the hell are we," Adam asked as he glanced around as well.

"I believe we are currently standing in the middle of some kind of point in Dean’s past," Castiel answered, “I don’t believe this is just a memory. It is possibly a very weak form of time travel. It seems that we are somehow separate from the reality here, everything around us is something that has already happened and all we can do is watch. We have no effect on anything here.”

The two youngest Winchesters looked over to fine the angel looking at a few pictures on the mantel piece over the fire place.

"What? Wait, I thought the way the Hag’s spell worked was by sending us into Dean’s memories not time traveling," Adam argued, “how exactly did we go from memory hopping to time travel?”

“I don’t know,” Castiel answered honestly, “there has never really been a surviving victim of a Hag attack to question about how all of this works. We only have speculations and the theories of others who have fought against a Hag. It isn’t surprising to be proven wrong about this.”

“Great,” Adam huffed, “can’t wait to find out what else we don’t know about this bitch.”

"The Hag said that Dean was just her type. She said something about him being the perfect type of tortured soul. That he….he had almost tasted death by his own-" Sam’s voice cut out suddenly before he was able to clear his throat and finish, “we know that is a factor in all of this.”

“But what does that mean? What does it have to do with Dean?”

"Sam look at this," Castiel interrupted, "I believe that I have figured out where we are."

"How?"

Castiel motioned for Sam and Adam to come over to the mantel.

"Look," he simply said.

Sam did and he felt his heart stop, on the mantel were pictures of his family.

Pictures of Mom and Dad, of grandparents that Sam never knew, of friends of the family that he had and hadn't met, and pictures of a little boy who always had a teddy bear in his arms and a look a mischievous innocence on his face.

Those pictures of the little boy and Mom pulled at Sam's heart the most, it was true what Dad use to say, Dean was like an exact copy of Mom. He had her eyes, her facial structure, her smile, and even her look of mischievousness.

It was almost heartbreaking to see just how much his big brother looked like their Mom.

"Is that Dean?"

Sam looked back at Adam, who looked confused as hell.

"Um, yeah. That's Dean and our Mom," Sam answered as he stepped forward and reached to take hold of the picture of his Mom and Dean sitting together on a picnic blanket under a weeping Willow, "he looks so much like her."

Sam's eyes went wide as his hand slipped through the picture frame; he jumped back a bit and looked at his hand in shock.

"Whoa," Adam stated, "um Cass is that a good or bad thing?"

"We are only visitors here," Castiel reminded, "these are set events that have already happened to Dean. We can't affect the things we see and they cannot affect us."

 

 

“Right,” Sam sighed as he turned to Castiel.

Sam watched as the angel starred at a picture of Dean standing alone looking up at the camera, holding his teddy bear and smiling.

Something in Castiel's eyes set a light bulb off in Sam's head.

Sam just couldn't figure out what that light bulb was illuminating just yet.

Sam was just about to say something when he suddenly heard someone yell- it was Mom.

He could remember her voice, from when she had saved him and Dean from that entity in their old house, he’d heard it just once but he’d never forget it.

He took off, running for the sliding glass door that lead to the patio.

He ran out it, going right through it confirming that in Dean's memories he could go through doors like ghosts.

Sam came to a halt as he reached the source of the yelling.

"Oh no! It's the prince of the monsters," Mary Winchester giggled as a little boy wearing paper monster claws and a cardboard cutout crown chased after her around a large Weeping Willow, "where is my little Dean? My little white knight Dean will save me."

Sam felt his heart stop as he saw his Mom smile; he couldn't help but see how beautiful her smile was.

"Grrr! I’m gonna get you," little Dean giggled in a fake monster voice.

"Oh no save me," Mary called out, "someone save me please."

Dean giggled as he ran himself dizzy around the tree, chasing after Mary.

It caused a lump to form in Sam’s chest to watch this, to see how happy and care free his big brother had once been.

This was Dean before it all turned to shit; this was how Dean had been meant to be.

This was his and Adam's big brother before he had been broken and mended back in a twisted way.

Mary slowed down and hid behind another tree, Dean raced around the Weeping Willow then stopped and looked around.

"Mommy? Where’d you go?"

Dean stumbled over to another tree and Mary slowly tipped toed over, she grabbed the child and tickled him, making him squeal out in laughter.

"I've got you now little monster prince! Now what have you done with my little knight?"

"Mommy! Stop it! It’s me! It’s Dean," the child giggled breathlessly, "I’m Dean!"

Mary stopped and pretended to look the little boy over, Dean held still, grinning like crazy.

Sam couldn't help but love that smile, it was one that actually reached all the way to Dean's eyes. Sam had only ever seen that kind of smile when he was little and did something that made his brother proud but even then it hadn't been like this one.

This one was one that seemed only meant for their Mom.

"You are? My little Dean isn't a monster though; he's a white knight who protects me and Prince Sammy, "Mary said as she touched her stomach with one hand, "he isn't monster prince."

Dean giggled, "I’m your Dean! Promise, I pretended be a monster prince."

"Really? But my Dean doesn't have monster claws," Mary said with a smile.

Dean held up his hands, "They’re pretend, Mommy. Daddy helped me make them, silly."

Mary smiled, "Are you sure?"

Dean giggled, "Yes Mommy."

"Hmm, well I have to do a few tests," Mary said.

Dean smile seemed to widen, "Kay Mommy."

"Well one, my little Dean is ticklish right here," Mary lifted up Dean's shirt and quickly blew on his stomach not only taking the little boy by surprise but causing a fit of giggles to spill from his mouth, "hmm you passed that test."

Dean grinned proudly and Sam smiled.

"Next test," Mary said, "my little Dean likes pie."

"Yay! Pie!"

Sam laughed at that, he couldn't help it.

"I give you the start of Dean's pie addiction," Sam chuckled over his shoulder to Cass and Adam.

Mary laughed at Dean's overly excited response, "My Dean likes a certain kind of pie. If you tell me what that type of pie is, you not only are me real Dean but you get pie to."

"That easy! My favorite kind pie is Mommy's apple pie!"

Mary chuckled, "Well I guess you are my little Dean and you get pie."

Dean cheered and jumped up and down, "Pie, pie! I get pie!"

Sam laughed a little harder as he watched Dean do what he called the pie dance.

Mary laughed and wrapped Dean into a big hug, "Yes you do, but Dean why were you pretending to be a monster?"

Dean smiled, "To 'care way the other monsters. I don’t want them get Sammy."

Sam felt his heart ache painfully, he was here. He was still in Mom's stomach, and Dean had already taken it upon himself to scare away the bad things. He had already started to protect him.

Mary smiled as Dean rubbed her stomach, "I'm sure Sammy really appreciates that, Dean."

Sam smiled, she knew. His mom just knew he'd be a boy and she was already determined to call him Sammy.

Dean smiled but then looked up with worry on his little face, "Did I 'care Sammy?"

"Wow, he already has that mother hen instinct," Adam chuckled.

"I believe he has always had that caring personality Adam," Castiel spoke up, "he is the kind of person to care no matter what."

Sam nodded, "Yes, he is."

Mary smiled, "Oh no sweetie. Sammy is brave, remember? You said so yourself that he's going to be a knight like you some day."

"Kay, did I scare Mommy?"

Mary smiled and kissed Dean's forehead, "A little but I wasn’t too afraid. Want to know why?”

"Why?”

"Because I knew my brave super knight wouldn't let some mean old monster get me."

Dean grinned, "Right, cause I’m super knight Dean!"

"Super knight Dean," Adam chuckled.

Mary laughed, "Yes you are. Now I'll go and get us some pie and milk and then I'll bring it out here so we can eat on patio. Sound good?"

Dean nodded and gave Mary a hug, then rubbed her stomach.

"Sammy gonna get a piece?"

"Wow, he was trying to pump you full of sugar before you were even out of the womb," Adam chuckled.

"No wonder I'm not big on sweets," Sam sighed.

"Of course," Mary chuckled.

"Kay, that’s good."

Mary walked toward the house; she was heading straight for Sam, who stood silently by the glass door holding his breath with Cass and Adam doing basically the same. Sam watched as Mary walked right past him, not even looking up.

It almost hurt to have her close and not be able to touch her, not be able to hug her.

"Mom," Sam whispered as he watched her disappear into the house.

"Are you alright Sammy?"

Sam turned to Adam, "I will be. She's so beautiful isn't she?"

Adam nodded, "She is."

Castiel walked past the two and calmly headed to Dean, who was standing all alone now.

Sam and Adam followed quietly.

Dean suddenly looked up, causing the three men to go still.

He couldn't see them could he?

"I thought you said that he couldn’t see us,” Sam said looking over at Castiel.

"No, I do not believe he is looking at us," Castiel answered.

"How do you-"

"Tevy?"

Dean's little voice caused Sam and Adam to jump in union.

"Tevy where you go? We get pie now," Dean called out as he began making his way over to one of the trees. Sam noticed that there was a ladder, he looked up and saw an unfinished tree house and sitting right at the top was Dean's teddy bear.

"He named his bear Tevy?"

Adam was laughing, "I can't believe it."

"Huh? What is it?"

"Sam, Tevy? Hello, he means Chevy. You know as in Chevy Impala," Adam explained.

"He named his toy after the Impala? It seems he loved the car even before he could drive it," Castiel said.

Sam and Adam both gave the angel a look before turning back to the little Dean.

"Seems that way. Hey, should he be climbing up there like that? I mean that can't be safe," Adam said.

Sam's eyes went wide, "Oh man! He could fall."

"Tevy, why are you up there? I thought you were on the chair. You know we’re not 'pose be up here. Daddy said it’s not safe, we could get hurt."

Dean was pretty far off the ground at this point far enough that if he fell he would get hurt.

Adam and Sam's hearts were racing at the very idea of little Dean falling off that thing.

They were only supposed to see bad things, bad memories, did that mean that they were about to see their older (baby) brother break something or get hurt?

"Tevy come 'ere! I can’t reach," Dean sighed.

One of Dean's little hands let go of the ladder and reached for the leg of his teddy bear, he stretched as far as he could. In what seemed like an instant Dean lost his balance and fell backwards.

The three men could see the terror on the child's face as he tumble backwards.

"No!"

Castiel's voice rang out as he rushed forward, causing both the younger (or currently older) Winchester boys to jump.

Castiel raced to catch Dean but only ended up going through both a body and the tree.

"Gotcha, you little trouble maker."

Castiel turned as he heard that voice, his eyes went wide and his vessel’s heart began to race.

That couldn't be, he turned around and was greeted by the impossible.

“M-Michael,” Castiel stammered.

"Mikie! You caught me," Dean giggled happily not realizing just how much danger he had been in.

"Yes I did, but then that is my job. Why were you climbing up there, I thought your Daddy said not to even think about doing that while he was gone."

Dean frowned, "I know that! Tevy climbed up there, he was a bad bear."

Castiel watched as Michael looked up at the bear and then asked, “Hmm, now how did he get up there?"

"Don't know," Dean mumbled, "maybe Lue put him there?"

 

 

Michael frowned, "Lue was here? Was he mean to you Dean?"

Dean shook his head, "Nope, Mikie, Lue is not mean! He just wants play to. He even said that he’s  'cited bout Sammy. He said that when Sammy gets here that we can all play t'gether."

Castiel caught the grim look on 'Mikie's' face.

"Yeah, well I don't think you should play with Lue unless I'm here to."

"Why?"

"Because Lue likes to play mean tricks. Like this for instance, he left Chevy all the way up there."

Dean looked horrified, "You mean Lue did it on purpose? But why he do that? I thought we was friends."

Michael gave Dean a hug as he caught sight of the boy’s trembling bottom lip, "You are but- well Lue can be a- he isn't nice all the time. He has his moments but he seems to think that he'll get more attention by being a jerk."

Dean frowned,” That’s not nice. Mommy says if you’re not nice you have to go sit in the corner.”

“I’ll be sure to tell Lue that,” Michael promised.

Dean nodded, "Kay. You want pie to, Michael?"

Michael smiled, "Hmm, no thank you Dean. Here let me get Chevy for you."

Castiel watched as Michael waved his hand and the stuffed bear appeared in Dean's hands.

"Thank you Mikie," Dean giggled as Michael put him down.

"Not a problem little man," Michael assured, "hey are those monster claws?"

Dean nodded, "They’re super cool right?"

"Yeah, they are," agreed a new voice.

Castiel's head turned in the direction of that voice without even realizing it and was met with by a tall man with blond hair.

Castiel knew exactly who that was, it was 'Lue'.

"Lue! You meanie face! Did you put Tevy in da tree?"

Lucifer chuckled, "Yeah, I'm so sorry Dean. I forgot I put him there. Forgive me please?"

Dean smiled, "Kay don’t do it 'gain. Promise?"

Lucifer smiled- it was a smile that made Castiel's insides twist.

"I promise," Lucifer huffed as he rolled his eyes.

Dean smiled innocently taking no notice to Lucifer’s hatefulness, "Good. Want pie?"

"Nah, I don't like sweet stuff."

Dean frowned, "Oh, okay then."

Castiel looked back in time to see Michael give Lucifer a glare.

"Hey Dean go set the patio table up for your mommy, okay."

Dean nodded, "Kay Mikie. Come on Tevy."

Dean stumbled off leaving the two men alone.

"Cass, Mikie looks an awful lot like Dean," Sam said suddenly.

Castiel paused and tried to wrap his mind around what Sam had said.

“What do you mean?”

“Cass, look at the guy,” Sam pointed out, “he’s almost a mirror image to Dean. How are you not seeing this?”

Castiel looked at Sam in confusion before looking back at Michael- the realization sunk in and Castiel felt his head spinning.

Michael and Dean looked so very much a like- from the hazel green eyes, the dirty blond hair, and even the way they smiled. The only real physical differences between the two was that Michael was taller by few good inches and well the difference in the way the two seemed to not only dress but also the way they kept themselves.

Michael was wearing snug fitting jeans with frayed holes in some places; he wore black steel toed boots, a grey t-shirt, and a leather jacket with a pair of shredded angel wing patches on the back. Michael’s hair was longer and kept messy, his face had more stumble then what Dean would usually allow, and then there were the piercings that Michael had.

Castiel noticed two silver hoops at the top of each of Michael’s ears and the two small holes in Michael’s lobes- Castiel had heard Adam talking about those before, something called gauges.

"He does," Castiel agreed, "but then again he doesn’t. I can tell the difference between the two, but if I were not paying attention I could easily mistake them for the same person."

"Cass,” Adam’s voice spoke up with a tremble, “is that- is that Michael? As in Michael, the Archangel trying to wear Dean to prom, Michael."

“Yes,” Castiel answered truthfully, “that man there is Michael.”

“And the other one is-,” Sam couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.

They all went silent, letting the rest of Sam’s unspoken sentence weight heavily on all of them.

"Why the hell did you put his teddy bear up there? Are you really so desperate to hurt him that you'd do that?"

Michael’s voice was like a loud clap of thunder, breaking the silence and bring the unseen observers focus onto the archangel’s face.

Michael looked pretty pissed off as he spoke, Lue simply rolled his eyes.

"I left it up there by accident, don't be such a tight ass, big brother. He’s just a human child, so what if he gets a little banged up, but then you wouldn’t let that happen anyway. It’s like you told your pet, you always catch him anyway."

"Lucifer! Dean is just a kid! It’s not even just the fact that you know he’s important to me, that has me angry with you, it’s the fact that he’s just a kid and here you are trying to hurt him. I don’t care how angry you are or how hurt you feel, you can’t keep trying to hurt others just because you’re mad at me. You especially can’t keep trying to hurt Dean, he’s my other half Lue, if you hurt him it’s just like you’re hurting me.  I get that you’re angry but I know you don’t want to hurt me, so please just stop."

Michael’s voice had started out holding anger and fire but as he ended his rant, his voice had lowered and the fire had fizzled out- he sound almost like he was exhausted.

Michael looked exhausted, he looked beaten down and on his last leg- almost like a mortal who’d taken an emotional beating.

It wasn’t a look one would expect to find on a being of nearly invincible power.

Castiel couldn’t help but notice the similarities between his symptoms and Michael’s own- it almost looked like Michael’s grace with slipping away.

" _Dean_ is just some stupid little human you’ve gotten yourself all fixated on! No damn human, has the ability to hold the other half of your being, Humans are weak, disgusting creatures that father has so stupidly placed so high above us, they couldn’t hold even the smallest of pieces of our being in them, and even considering that they could do so is beyond laughable. I don’t know if you’ve lost your mind over what Father’s commanded you to do to me or if you’re just trying to grasp at straws for some kind of way to change his mind, but you have to stop this. That human child is nothing to you but a distraction to what’s really going on around you. All you’re doing is trying to find another way without going against Father’s orders.”

Michael shook his head and looked away from Lucifer, “I don’t understand how you can hate humans so much. Just because father loves them so much you act like they are a threat to you, you hate them with no other reason except for the fact that they are loved so much. Are you really so scared of not being the most loved being that you would lash out like a jealous fledgling?”

Lucifer sneered, “How can he love these disgusting creatures! He gives them so much and yet he gives us so little. We are the better race, not those tailless monkeys, we are his perfect children and they are bastard abominations! We’ve served him without question, given him our total loyalty, and followed his will to the exact letter- but yet its these humans that he’s given free will to, these humans who are able to do as they please, and these humans who do not bow to him even with all of his greatness and power. They are an insult to us and to him and he expects us to bow down to them.  My so called fear of not being loved has nothing to do with this hate I feel, Michael. My hate for these creatures solely stems from the fact that I hate knowing how much you sacrifice in his name and how little he gives you in return. You are the far greater then these humans, you and I are like gods to them! We are not made to bow to such feeble creatures, and from him to assume that we would is an insult to all that we do for him! I’m not jealous of them Michael, that would be like a lion being jealous of his prey. No, jealousy has nothing to do with this.”

Lucifer turned to look at Dean, the little boy seemed to be completely oblivious of the dire situation going on around him. He was innocently cleaning off the small patio table while chattering away quietly to his stuffed bear.

“He doesn’t answer to us, Lucifer,” Michael spoke up, “everything that he does is for a reason. He’s never just done something with no reason behind it, even when the things that he does seem as though they have no point there’s always one there it you stop and look for it. Humans, are one of his few creations that I didn’t have to look to see the reasoning for. He made them to teach us, I know they are here to show us something more to strive for. You say that they are an insult, but that’s not true, if you would just look past your own pride you would see that-”

“There you go spewing that none sense! I don’t need to hear you recite what Gabriel has already told us, I didn’t wish to hear it the first time so a second time isn’t necessary.”

Michael grabbed Lucifer by the shoulder and spun him around- you could visibly see that Michael’s sudden action startled even Lucifer.

“That’s you’re problem,” Michael snapped, “You never want to listen to anyone! You ignore every single other fact of the matter and construct your own selfish version of the truth. You can’t follow orders without causing fuss, you can’t see what’s going on around you, and you just can’t seem to understand that just because you can’t see the true meaning behind things that it doesn’t mean those things are there to hurt you. If you would get your head out of your ass for once and just try and see things from someone else’s point of view you might just come to the realization that others are trying to help, trying to keep you from doing something completely stupid!”

The look in Michael’s eyes was that of a man on the verge of breaking down, those eyes looked far too weary and dull to belong to a higher being.

Castiel had never seen that look there before and he wish that he never had, by the look on Lucifer’s face, the other angel was thinking the same thing.

“How exactly does you giving up your grace to become human help me in anyway, Michael? How does losing you help me or any of our brothers? If I let you go through with this, you won’t exist anymore. You’ll cease to exist and I lose my big brother, I don’t see any good outcome from that,” Lucifer hissed, “any plan that ends with you going away forever isn’t a good plan.”

Michael’s features softened and the look that he gave Lucifer was one that Sam had been on the receiving end more than a few times.

It was the look that an older sibling gave a younger sibling when they realized just how hurt their younger sibling was.

“Lue,” Michael’s voice was softer now, “I promise you that I’m not ever going to leave you or our brothers behind. I’ve never left any of you behind before, I don’t understand why you’d think that I would start now.”

“Ever since Gabriel brought father’s message to us you’ve been here. You’ve been right at this child’s side, ignoring your duties, your family, and even that fledgling you’ve fallen for. This is the first time I’ve seen you since-”

“Since father sent me to fetch you after what you did,” Michael answered looking away from his little brother.

Lucifer did avert his eyes or look the slightest bit ashamed.

“Since I tried to correct his mistake,” insisted Lucifer.

“Leading a small Garrison into a battle against the humans isn’t how you correct something,” Michael sighed, “and the only ones who made a mistake were you and those poor fools you led astray.”

“We fought to right a wrong!”

“They fought because you twisted your own little version of the truth to them and led them to believe something that wasn’t true! You fought because you were being a spoiled little fledgling and didn’t want some other species to take your place! You lied to your troops, you led them against father’s orders, and you condemned them to exile from Heaven! They’ll be thrown into the bloody Pit because of your stupidity and if my plan doesn’t work that will be where you will end up as well!”

“The Pit? That’s where father plans to send me? The place where he locked away the darkness?”

Michael nodded, “Do you see now, why this isn’t just some joke?”

“Let him try,” Lucifer hissed taking Michael by surprise, “let him throw me into the pit. I’ll find a way out and make him regret it. I’m not someone he can just lock away!”

“Lue, please just stop thinking like some scorned child for one moment and realized just how serious your situation really is. There is so much at stake now, you can’t just say things like that, not with what Gabriel has told me.”

Lucifer didn’t seemed even the slightest bit fazed by Michael’s words. He simply tilted his head to the side and Michael’s body went stiff like he knew he had misspoken.

“The prophesy,” Lucifer gasped, “all of this has something to do with it and you are trying to go against it. That is what this is about isn’t?”

“Lue, stop,” Michael pleaded.

“The prophesy has something to do with that boy and us. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Michael lowered his head, refusing to meet Lucifer’s gaze and refusing to speak.

"Michael and Lucifer,” Sam gasped, “Wait Castiel what is he talking about? Why are they here and what's going on?"

"I'm not sure," Castiel answered.

 

“You will tell me what Gabriel told you!”

“Lue-“

“TELL ME!”

Michael shook his head, "Lucifer, please lower your voice and lose that damn temper before you use up all you energy."

Lucifer shook his head and advanced on Michael, Castiel caught the look of defiance in Michael's green eyes; he had seen that exact look in Dean's eyes hundreds of times before.

“It has something to do with that brat! He’s the reason for all of this isn’t he! The reason that no Angel has been able to move through time lately. He’s the reason that Father has bonded our powers, isn’t he! Tell me why is it that this child has caused so much to change!”

“The prophesy has nothing to do with Dean,” Michael snapped, “He’s just a child.”

"That little brat should not even exist! He is only hear because Father has foolishly allowed you to fall from grace! You should be in Heaven right now! You should be at his side running his army!"

Michael shook his head, "And you my little brother should be locked away in your cage with your Grace and Holy Manifestation, but you are not. Your soul is here; your soul is under my watch and allowed to roam free till you are allowed to be reborn into a human. You are here because out of Father's kindness and my love for you, you have been allowed to live on in human form and not be imprisoned in the hellish pit! So I do believe that you should be far more grateful!"

Lucifer stopped; he stood still, and simply looked into his brother's eyes.

"I am sorry for my lack of gratefulness, brother, but understand this, in my mind seeing you like this is an insulting thing. Seeing you willingly give up what you are breaks my heart, you my grand brother, are not meant to be locked in the body of so worthless human. If this is to be my punishment then let it but not you, not the sword of Heaven, not the Holiest of Angels."

Michael sighed, "Lue, I wish you wouldn't see this as a punishment. This is a gift; this is something that you should embrace! You are being given the chance to live among these amazing creations. I am jealous that you were given your own destined child! I had to beg, pled just to have this chance."

Michael turned to look at Dean, and smiled.

"That boy, that human made version of you was never meant to be born. He wasn't even expected, if you hadn't fallen and given you soul and that small amount of grace he wouldn't be here and you would still be in Heaven. Michael, you are the only angel who was given the ability to manifest your own human form, and you wasted it on making this thing. If not for your hand, your intrusion, Jonathan and Mary Winchester would have never had a first born son named Dean Michael Winchester. Why can't you see this for what it really is? It is a joke! It is Father's pity for your obsession with these two humans. He has seen how you have strived to protect these two humans, he sees how you long to be like them. Father only wishes to make you see how foolish this is, he hopes that you will see how unpleasing this will be. He hopes for you to understand that this is ridiculous and abandon all this before you become human. And you will you know, you will become actually become human if you stay with this child, you will lose all your Grace and your Holy Manifestation will become simply a tool for Heaven. It will no longer be you."

Michael shook his head, "You have preached this before brother and I have told you before that this is not some joke. It is not a punishment that Father wishes to see you suffer from, this is what I want. This is what I long for, to be human to help these humans that we watch by my own hands. I want to live and experience, not watch and observe. I want to be human! I want to forget all the things of Heaven, I want to be free to live as I wish, and I want us to be brothers and not be seen as Father's tools! Lucifer, I want to be at your side, to protect you. Not lock you away in that damn cage and hear your screams! I wish to be your big brother and your protector! Not your damn superior and warden! Don't you see? By me doing this, by me being given this chance to be human, I have given us the chance to be brothers, to enjoy a life with the love of parents and not the life as soldiers and tools! I will not give this up; I will not abandoned my human life. If I would that would end Dean, without me this child is only a body. Lucifer, that child is me. He has part of my soul, he is everything I am in the form of a human and I want all of it. I want to be whole, to be human, I want to become Dean and forget all that is Michael. I don’t care about my grace, I don’t care about the empty this empty form that I’ll leave to be used by Heaven. I only care about you- my little brother and being human."

Castiel felt all the air leave his lungs, this was so much to take in this was all too much.

Sam and Adam seemed to be in much of the same state, they seemed to be shocked into silence.

Even Lucifer was silent.

Michael sighed and rubbed at his neck, "I ache brother. I hurt so deeply from hearing the things you and our brothers say. I had hoped that out of all of the holy creatures in Heaven that you would-would understand. I have been a good solider for centuries, I only want to be a good son now, I only want to be someone's child, someone's loved one, and someone's big brother. Gabriel understands, hell, he even came to visit my human form in a dream, he told me that he agreed with me. He said that this was something that made me happy and he saw that. Why can't you see it? This is our only way to be our own selves. Once I am fully human you will officially be tied to Sammy and we- we can be happy and forget all the problems of Heaven. Lucifer, by doing this I will not lose you, by doing this there will be no prophesy to worry about. This, this right here is the only way to save us both and for both of us to be happy."

Michael turned to his little brother and Castiel saw it, he saw Dean. There was no Michael, this being before him was Dean.

"You are a fool," Lucifer hissed.

Michael's smile fell to a look of pain of sorrow.

"Lue?"

"I don't want to be a disgusting human," Lucifer growled,” and I will not! I would rather go to my cage. I would rather rot in the pit then be 'Sammy.’ I’m not afraid of some bullshit prophesy that."

Michael shook his head, "No don't say that. You don't mean it! You just don't understand how good this will be for us! If you just realize how important this is-"

"No! Michael, you are a fool. You are giving up yourself. Giving up the very thing you are to become a human! This is disgusting and I will not let it happen!"

Lucifer turned to the little boy who had- at some point- walked back over to the two men.

"What are you doing?"

Lucifer raised his hand and began gripping his fist, forcing energy to wrap tightly around Dean's little throat.

"NO! STOP IT! BROTHER NO-"

Michael's voice became choked; he was fighting for breath just as the little Dean began coughing and grabbing at his throat.

Tear were starting to pour down the scared child's cheeks as he fought for air.

"I will kill him and show you how stupid you’ve been to believe that this thing has anything of you within it! Once I’ve removed this distraction you’ll see that this has all been a trick that father has played on you and then you’ll see things from my side! Once this little monster is gone I’ll have you back and you’ll help me show father why humans are nothing compared to us. Once he’s gone you’ll come with me and we can go home and I won’t lose you. We’ll fight back against Father and this prophesy of his."

Michael shook his head and fell to his knees, he grabbed at his brother's legs with a pleading look in his eyes.

"Br-brother s-stop it-" Michael choked, "stop-be-before Father-"

The sudden loud blowing of a trumpet drowned out any further words from Michael.

“He knows I’m going to free you from this illusion,” Lucifer yelled, “he knows what I know! He knows that once this boy is gone that your eyes will be opened wide and you’ll see the truth!”

Michael shook his head, his wings suddenly appeared stretching wide over his back, they slammed hard against Lucifer sending the angel stumbling- it was just enough of a distraction to loosen his grip.

Michael was up on his feet within seconds, his hands taken hold of Lucifer’s wrists and in one quick movement pinning them to the ground.

“I can’t save you now,” Michael sobbed breathlessly.

Lucifer’s struggling stopped, he looked genuinely surprised.

“What?”

“You just couldn’t stop pushing,” Michael answered, “not even for me.”

“Michael-“

“This prophesy says that I’ll have to fight you and kill you one day. It says that you’ll try to bring the world to an end and that I’ll have to kill you. Father says that you’ll become a monster and that I’ll have to stop you, Lue.”

Fear and heartbreak are written all over Lucifer’s face at hearing his big brother’s words.

“Michael, no.”

“I did this to try and keep that from happening. I’ve been trying to save us since Gabriel told me, but you- you just wouldn’t stop. That trumpet, it’s the signal to activate the seals, there’s no stopping it now.”

Lucifer shook his head as his eyes went wide in fear, “No, Michael don’t let them do this! Michael, please!”

Michael leaned down and pressed his forehead to his little brother’s, “It’s too late. I’m sorry, Lue.”

There was a sudden blinding light, causing Adam, Sam, and even Castiel to shield their eyes and then everything went dark.

"Cass…what-what the hell just happened?"

Castiel stood in shock, unmoving. Was that…had that been Michael's final seal being put in place?

Was that, the final lock that all the angels spoke of?

Was that the day that Father left?

"Holy shit, holy shit," Adam gasped.

"Dean? Sweetie wake up," Mary's voice echoed around them.

"Huh? What, what's going on?"

"Dean wake up. Are you alright?"

The world came back into focus, Castiel, Adam, and Sam found themselves in a hospital room. The little Dean was lying in a hospital bed clutching Chevy with Mary at his side.

"Mommy? What happen? Where am I?"

"In the hospital, sweetie. I found you on the ground by the tree house, you were passed out and your neck was bruise. You've been asleep for three days sweetie, the doctors thought you fell from the tree house and hurt yourself. Dean, you knew not to climb up there. You scarred me and your Daddy so badly, baby," Mary cried as she stroked Dean's forehead.

Dean frowned, his brow furrowed as thought he was trying to remember something.

"I sorry Mommy. I left Tevy on da 'step. I slipped and fell."

"Oh sweetie, do you remember anything?"

Dean shook his head and sniffed as tears formed in his eyes.

"Dean what's wrong sweetie?"

"Brother gone," Dean whimpered.

"What? No sweetie Sammy's right here," Mary assured putting Dean's hand on her round stomach, "he's fine."

Dean shook his head, "Gone."

"Oh sweetie no he's right here."

Mary wrapped her arms around Dean as he began to cry, "Shh it's okay Dean. You must have had a nightmare. Listen you're okay I promise and so is Sammy. It was just a dream, your brother is fine."

Dean hugged Mary tightly, "Promise? He okay?"

"I swear. He's okay and now you're okay to."

Sam looked at Dean, the little boy looked different now- he looked whole. His eyes were a brighter green, even as he cried, his skin was paler but still held a healthy glow, and he actually looked more like Dean.

Did that mean that Michael had actually become Dean?

Things were so confusing now.

"I gotta keep my Sammy safe. I gonna be a good big brother. I not let Sammy go away ever."

Mary gently soothed her child till he calmed down, and then she just held him.

"Yes Dean, you'll be a good big brother, baby. I've got you. It’s okay baby boy. Shh," Mary whispered.

Sam watched as his brother drifted to sleep clutching his mother and his teddy bear.

That's when the three men felt a painful tug jerk them form Dean's mind. They were sent flying back into the real world back to the factory and crashing back on to the factory's cold hard floor.

Castiel was the first to recover, the first to see that the little Dean from the memories was now laying on the cold factory floor pale and bleeding from his chest.

Castiel was the first to get to his feet and rush over and pick the four-year-old Dean up.

He was the first to feel his heart pound in his chest as he felt how cold the child was.

He was the first to feel the fear that came with the thought of losing Dean and he was the first to quickly work on saving the little boy.

Sam and Adam only snapped out of their shock when Dean's little voice sobbed out their names.

"Dean!"

"Oh God Dean!"

Things were bad this time; Castiel realized that as he got the wound to stop bleeding.

This had the makings to actually be worse than what was already happening, he realized that as he watched Sam work of cleaning Dean up.

Castiel also realized that this had opened and entire book of questions that could be answered by this situation.

There was so much Castiel didn’t know.


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

If Bobby could still walk, Sam was pretty sure that he’d be pacing back and forth at this point. Instead he was sitting in his wheel chair starring at the kitchen table and with a beer in his hand.  He’d been at it for at least a half an hour, trying to take this whole this in. Sam couldn't really blame him; this was a shit load to attempt to comprehend.

 

Hell, he had yet to fully grasp all of this, had he’d been through a lot of weird shit in his time.

 

"Why is he so quiet?"

 

Sam looked over his shoulder as he heard Adam from the living room. He’d seemed to have inadvertently volunteered to be on Dean and Cass watch- mainly because Sam believed that Cass shouldn’t be left alone with a small child, even if said child was Dean. There was also the fact that Adam seemed to be the only one who really accepted everything that had gone down. Sam wasn't surprised with Adam's acceptance, the kid had just been thrown into this and probably just thought this kind of thing happened often- wouldn’t he best surprised when he found that this was a new one even for them.

 

"I believe it may be from the pain medication Sam gave him," Cass's deep voice answered back, "or possibly he does not wish to talk?"

 

“Maybe Sammy broke him when he carried him in or something? I mean, aren’t kids supposed to be bouncy and loud?”

 

“I don’t think that you can break a child, but then I am not entirely familiar with how children work,” Castiel answered back.

 

“Should we, I don’t know poke him with something and see if he reacts?”

 

“I don’t think Sam would be happy if we did that,” replied Castiel.

 

“I wouldn’t poke him really hard,” Adam sighed, “just enough to see if he makes a noise.”

 

Sam rubbed at the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath as he leaned back in his chair- lifting it onto only two legs- and peeked around into the living room. He gave a whistle, catching Adam and Castiel’s attention and gave them both a look.

 

“Do not poke Dean or so help me I’ll lock both of you in Bobby’s panic room downstairs,” Sam warned.

 

Adam gave his older brother a sheepish look and assured him that he wouldn’t poke Dean, Castiel simply nodded and returned his focus to Dean.  Sam took that as a good enough assurance and let his chair rest back down on all four legs, gave Bobby a look that said ‘I’m related to idiots.’

 

“I still think he’s too quiet,” he heard Adam grumble.

 

Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled, he knew that they didn't know about how Dean was as a kid but Sam could remember that Dean was never much of a talker when they were growing up. Dean was pretty quiet around anyone other than Sam up until he was twelve- that’s when Dean really found his voice.

 

God, Sam could remember whenever Dean had become a chatter box. Sometimes, hearing Dean rattle on about thing almost made Sam miss the more quiet days- but in all honesty getting to hear Dean speak and seeing the change in him had made Sam happy and Dad had even seemed to smile more.

 

"What do you make of all this?"

 

Sam turned back to Bobby and shrugged, "I'm not making anything out of this. I’m not exactly and expert at any of this. None of this even makes sense to me."

 

It really didn't, all of what he had seen seemed like some realistic dream. It was crazy to think that his brother actually witnessed something like that and then… just forgot about it.

 

That didn't make much sense either, they had seen something that apparently was something that Dean had either suppressed or had just completely forgotten about all together.

 

"I don't get how he forgot it," Bobby sighed, "you don't just forget something like that."

 

"Dean did though," Sam sighed, "because I'm pretty sure he would've mentioned something like that if he remembered it."

 

Sam sat down at the table and took a big swig of his beer, it was really all he could do. This whole situation called for a shit load of beer- enough to make a guy’s liver cry for mercy.

How was this even Sam’s life?

Seriously, what the hell?

Bobby shook his head and looked toward the living room, Sammy could see the concern written all over the man’s face. Sure this was a situation to be concerned about but the concern on Bobby’s face seemed to be a different kind- more of the kind that you’d find on a parent worrying about their kid. It seemed fitting though, because Bobby had always been like a second father to them- hell, they were basically Bobby’s kids in everything except blood.

 

Family didn’t stop at sharing the same blood though, it was like Dean always said- “Family was something deeper than just blood, it’s a lot more than just that.”

 

He was right about that though, it did run deeper.

 

"He's been pretty quiet," Bobby spoke up suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room.

 

"He was always quiet when we were little," Sam pointed out, "nothing new there.”

 

Bobby looked at Sam for a moment then sighed, "Sammy, do you know the real reason why he was so quiet when you were both little?"

 

Sam looked up, "Yeah, I mean Dad told me it was just how Dean was sometimes. Dad always said that Dean had so much going on in his head with all he’d been through, that he just couldn’t always put it all into words.”

 

"That’s what John told you?" Bobby sighed, "Sam that's not exactly the reason. I mean, yeah he’d been through a lot of shit, but there was a bit more to it than just that. Dean was pretty much mute until he was about twelve. I think they call it traumatic selective mutism?

 

"Traumatic selective mutism? I remember Dean being really quiet but he’d talk sometimes," Sam reasoned looking more than a little shocked at the information, “he’d talk to me. I heard him talk to dad and you when we were little to. I mean sure, he was shy when we’d go out and he tend not to say much when we were around other people but he did talk.”

 

“Traumatic selective mutism, doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t talk at all,” Bobby explained, “well at first he didn’t talk at all, but eventually he did start speaking every now and then. Basically, he wouldn’t speak to anyone and if he did it was usually just to you, John, and me. He’d never speak out in public and he’d never speak to anyone outside of us. Dean wasn’t just shy, Sammy, he was downright terrified of anyone that he didn’t see as family and even then sometimes he was uneasy with us."

 

“What caused it? I mean, something had to trigger it right? What happened that made him stop talking?”

 

"Doesn’t just about everything with you Winchesters lead right back to one thing?”

 

Sam paused and slump back in his chair, “The yellow eyed demon, Azazel.”

 

“Got it in one, Sammy,” Bobby sighed, “that bastard caused more grief for you boys than anything else.”

 

“Did he hurt Dean?”

 

“John and I never really found out exactly what that bastard did to Dean,” Bobby admitted, “he only told us so much before he’d start panicking and shut down. Those were the worse episodes, seeing the kid break out into a panic attack or watching him just go completely blank- it was heart breaking. It’d take days just to get him going again, got to the point where I’d just about sucker punch John for so much as suggesting to push Dean to give us more information about what happened. It might have ended up helping Dean but I just couldn’t stand the thought of sending the kid into another one of his fits. What John managed to get out of Dean about the night that that Mary was killed, wasn’t much and I wouldn’t put it past Dean to have withheld part of his story.”

 

“Bobby please, just tell me,” Sam begged as he covered his face, refusing to meet Bobby’s eyes, “please I-I just want to know what happened to my brother.”

 

“Dean saw what the yellow eyes did to her,” Bobby started, “apparently he had heard a man humming in your room and got up to go and look in on you. Dean was always the protective older brother, that never changed and I don’t think it ever will. He saw someone in your room and he knew it was Mary or John- he knew it even with the lights turned off and the man’s back to him.

He’d walked into your room, without a second thought and saw that yellow eyes was standing over your crib. When that bastard turned around Dean said that yellow eyes had a smile on his face that made him feel sick to his stomach and frozen in terror. Dean said that the man’s eyes glowed a golden yellow and that once those eyes locked on him that he hadn’t been able to move at all. He said that the demon had thrown him out of the room without laying a hand on him and that’s when Mary came running. Dean had yelled and pointed at the man in the room, and Mary ran right in.

When she screamed, Dean was standing right there and saw everything that yellow eyed monster did to her. When John came running upstairs, Dean hid, he was terrified, but he went back to the door. I wish he hadn’t, but Dean looked into the room and saw the fire engulf her, then John gave you to Dean and told him to run with you. John said that, that was the turning point, the moment when you became the most important thing in Dean’s life. It was also the night that Dean stopped talking, didn’t say a damn thing for about a year. It took almost a year to get a peep out of him, and it was only because he was trying to make you smile. ”

 

“Christ Bobby, why didn’t anyone ever tell me about this? I could’ve helped. Do you know how many times I got on Dean’s case about not talking? I got mad at him a few times because he just wouldn’t talk to me. I can’t imagine having to live with that, sure I was there but I was lucky enough to be too remember any of it.”

 

"Dean didn't want you to know, the only reason I'm telling you is so you can watch out for it. If he starts to go silent I want someone else to understand why. Just keep an eye out for any panic attacks and migraines. Those migraines get pretty bad, watch and if he starts rubbing his forehead or squinting you’ll need to take him into a dark room where there isn’t a lot of noise and give him a few Tylenol. He might not admit it, but I know those damn migraines hurt him like hell, so it best not to give him the option of not going and resting.”

 

Sammy nodded, "What do I do if he has a panic attack?"

 

“Its best to try and get him to focus on something else. Periodic tables use to work pretty well, reciting them kept Dean pretty grounded but getting to regulate his breathing works to. Just take his hand and put it on your chest and tell him to breathe with you.”

 

"How long did it go on? Dean’s muteness, I remember at some point he suddenly went from completely silent to a chatter box."

 

"Till he was twelve," Bobby answered, “he’d gotten better and communicating and then out of nowhere he found his voice again. He’d take this herbal medicine mix from Missouri, I think that helped out a lot to. 'course, he didn't know it was from her at the time or what it was exactly, but he still took it. He still had his quiet spells, still does today, but it got less sever by twelve, he started talking more, his migraines lessened to simple headaches, and the panic attacks all but went away.  I honestly like to think that Missouri’s concoction helped him a hell of a lot more than anything the docs could give, then again I ain’t the biggest fan of Doctors. I’ve noticed a lot of ‘em are just blow’in smoke outta their asses. ”

 

"I know Dean didn’t want me to know,” Sam sighed, “but I wish he would’ve told me. I can be here for him just like he’s always been there for us. Why can’t he see that?”

 

“He’s a stubborn little shit,” Bobby answered, “just as bad as his Daddy. You and Adam ain’t much better. I think it comes standard with each Winchester.”

 

Sam gave a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, he then leaned back in his seat and let it all sink in. All of this was an overload that he really didn't need or want- but he was thankful to know about it all, it meant he was just a little closer to his brother and that he could help him. After everything that had happened recently, though, maybe he had a farther to go before he was truly close with his brother.

It seemed that Dean had an entire other side to him that Sam had never known about. He just silently hoped that not all those things would end badly.

 

He had this strong feeling, though, one that left him wondering just how much bad they’d have dig through to find a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

"Bobby," Sam sighed, "I think I’m going to need something a little stronger than beer for this shit."

 

Bobby nodded, "Funny how that pretty much became my motto right around the time you boys stumbled into my life."

 

Sam gave Bobby a small smirk and lifted his bottle toward him, “Well, let me be the first to apologize for any damage we’ve caused to your liver.”

 

“Idjit,” Bobby sighed.

 

//*\\\

 

Castiel sat quietly and stiffly, as the little boy who Dean laid his head quietly on his lap. He looked so small in the oversized t-shirt that Adam had supplied him with- he was basically swimming in the thing. Castiel couldn’t help but notice that Dean- this little boy- was oddly quiet. Castiel didn’t exactly enjoy how silent the boy was, but he found that he did like it better than the crying.

 

Dean had been upset

He seemed to be very comforted by being close to the falling angel.

 

Castiel had noticed earlier that Dean had been suffering from a headache but his other wounds' aches were being kept under check by the medicine that Bobby had given him. Castiel had managed to heal the more painful wounds and many of the minor ones before he felt the strain of his limited power hit him.

Dean was still battered up but he was no longer in any danger. The headache had seemed to disappear as soon as Dean had laid his head against Castiel. Now the boy had his thumb in his mouth and was drowsily looking up at the angel and clutching his trench coat almost as if it was a blanket.

 

Castiel couldn't understand why Dean kept looking up at him like that.

 

Was he seeing something that no one else could?

 

"He's very quiet for a four-year-old," Adam stated breaking the silence.

 

Castiel nodded, "Yes he is."

 

"He's pretty small for a four-year-old too. I mean he almost looks like a three-year-old."

 

Dean frowned around his thumb and looked over at Adam with a not so nice look on his face.

 

"Damn he could do the scary look even at this age," Adam shivered.

 

Castiel nodded, "Yes that is rather unsettling. Why do you think he is so attached to me?"

 

Adam shrugged as he flipped through his book, "I'm not sure."

 

Dean sat up- still clutching Castiel's trench coat and sucking on his thumb, the room went quiet waiting to see what would happen.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Cass, gots wings like Mikie. He a bird man to?"

 

"Huh?"

 

Dean frowned at his little brother, "Adam! Cass gots wings like my Mikie. He’s a birdie man to. Want my Sammy and Tevy."

 

Castiel watched as Dean frowned and looked around for a few seconds.

 

What was he looking for?

 

“Uncle Bobby! I want my Tevy and my Sammy!"

 

"Umm Dean I don't think that…," Adam started.

 

"Hold your horses squirt I'm gonna tell your Sammy where to find Chevy at," Bobby called back.

 

Dean smiled and clapped his hands happily, "T’anks Uncle Bobby!"

 

Castiel felt his heart catch as he saw the child smile.

 

Dean sounded cute with his little lisp.

 

"Wait Mikie? Dean tell me about Mikie," Adam said suddenly.

 

Castiel realized in that moment just what it was that Dean had said. Dean was talking about Michael and- he was talking about wings?

 

Wait could Dean see his wings?

 

"Mikie is my bestest friend. He gots wings like Cass, but they don’t look like black birdie’s wings. They are grey and messy. I like them, but Cass's is much prettier."

 

Castiel felt his face heat up; Dean thought his wings were pretty?

 

Dean liked his wings better.

 

"Dude, are you blushing?"

 

Castiel looked over at Adam and cleared his throat, "I-I'm not sure?"

 

"Wow, you're totally blushing over Dean calling you wings pretty," Adam laughed.

 

Castiel frowned, "I am not."

 

"Are to," Adam laughed.

 

"Adam be nice to my Cass! Don’t be mean to him," Dean demanded, “or I’ll tell Uncle Bobby to make you go to the time out corner.”

 

Adam went quiet and Castiel smirked smugly, until he felt little eyes on him. Castiel looked down at the little Dean who was giving him a glare.

 

"Um yes?"

 

"You better be nice to my little brother to," Dean stated.

 

Castiel nodded, "Of course Dean."

 

Dean went back to smiling happily, "Good."

 

Adam chuckled, "Even at four he's got us in line."

 

Castiel nodded, "Yes."

 

"Pretty sad huh," Adam sighed.

 

"Yes," Castiel sighed, "it is not very encouraging."

 

Dean tugged at Castiel's trench coat grabbing his attention.

 

"Yes Dean?"

 

"I want Tevy," Dean stated.

 

Castiel cocked his head to the side; he didn't understand why Dean would ask for a stuff toy that was probably gone. He really didn't understand why Bobby had told Dean that he would get said toy for him. Chevy had to be gone by now, considering the life Dean had lived.

 

"Dean I don't believe Chevy is still around," Castiel stated simply.

 

Dean went still, his eyes got really big and a strong sense of dread hit Castiel harder than any punch from his brothers ever could.

 

"What? No Tevy?"

 

Dean's little voice was basically a whisper at this point; Castiel looked over at Adam with a slightly pleading look. Adam looked frantic, nearly ready to freak out at this point.

 

"I don't believe so Dean," Castiel said.

 

That's when the world stood still and then exploded for Castiel, he watched in horror and sorrow as the little boy's eyes filled to the brim with tears and his lip started to tremble.

 

"I-I want my Tevy," Dean sobbed quietly as he looked down, "I just want my Tevy."

 

Castiel and Adam felt their hearts break as they listened to the child cry, his body shook like his was sobbing loudly and uncontrollably but in reality it was so quiet like he was afraid to let anyone hear him.

 

"Holy shit! Sam! Dean's crying!"

 

Adam quickly ran from the room, leaving a poor confused Castiel alone with a crying Dean.

 

"Want my Tevy," Dean whispered as he continued crying.

 

"D-Dean? I'm not entirely sure how to handle this situation," Castiel admitted.

 

Dean looked up at his angle and held his arms out, Castiel might not have been very savvy with all the human customs but he knew this.

 He knew what this meant, or at least a lingering piece of his vessel did.

 

Castiel reached over and lifted Dean into his arms, he gently cradled the child to his chest making sure not to move him to much in fear that he would cause is wounds to hurt.

 

Dean responded by clutching the angel's neck and sobbing into his shoulder.

 

"Want Tevy, Cass," Dean sobbed.

 

Castiel sighed; he decided in that moment that he truly did not like having Dean upset in anyway.

 He decided that he would not allow this to happen anymore.

 

The sound of someone running into the room snapped Castiel's mind away from the sobbing child in his arms.

 

"Castiel what's wrong?"

 

Castiel's frowned deepened, "He wants his Tevy?"

 

Sam's looked stricken at Castiel calling the toy by Dean's name for it.

 

"Umm, well Bobby is getting it," Sam explained.

 

"What?"

 

"He said that Dean still has the stuff animal," Sam explained.

 

"I-I thought that it would've been gone by now," Castiel stated.

 

Sam shook his head, "It's not."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Apparently Dean kept the teddy bear under the Impala’s driver’s seat in an old backpack. Bobby said that it's the only toy that Dean's actually kept in mint condition and still has. He said it was our mom's bear first and before she gave it to Dean. I guess he just couldn't give it up."

 

Castiel sighed in relief, as he heard that, because that made Dean stop crying.

 

The little boy looked back at his brother with tear soaked eye and a small smile.

 

"My Tevy here?"

 

Sam nodded, "Yeah Dean Chevy is here."

 

Dean grinned and turned reaching for Sam, "Want Sammy! Want my Sammy!"

 

Castiel held the small squirming child still, "Dean please stop. You might hurt yourself. Sam can walk over to us and take you."

 

Sam laughed, "Hold on a second, I'm coming."

Sam seemed to realize just how uncomfortable Castiel was, the angel was terrified to move.

He didn’t want to risk hurting Dean in anyway and even though he knew that he wouldn’t there was a slight fear that he might accidently drop the small child.

 

Sam quickly made his way over and took his de-aged big brother from the angel.

 

Dean smiled and hug Sam tightly before laying his head down on Sam's shoulder and slipping his thumb back into his mouth. Sam smiled as he watched Dean relax into his hold.

 

"Sammy," Dean said around his thumb, "I hurt."

 

Castiel quickly reached out for Dean without thinking before pausing at the look that Sam gave him over his actions.

 

"Where are you hurting Dean," Sam and Castiel asked in union.

 

Dean's small free hand- the one not connected to the thumb in his mouth- touched his head.

 

"Does it hurt badly?"

 

Dean looked down and frowned, "I not a crybaby."

 

Sam looked a little shocked, "What? Of course not."

 

"I brave?"

 

"The bravest, I mean just ask anyone here, you're like Batman," Sam assured.

 

Dean grinned, "I am Batman! Cass, my Sammy said I Batman!"

 

"Yes I heard," Castiel said.

 

"Dean, why would I think you were a crybaby?"

 

"Cause I almost let the bad lady hurt you and Adam," Dean rubbed at his eyes as they started to leak, "I was scared because I-I didn't know if she was gonna hurt you guys and then I closed my eyes- Daddy said that you not 'pose to do that. He said that I have to keep my eyes open and on my Sammy. Daddy said that-"

 

"I don't care what he said Dean! You were extremely brave- a bit reckless- but brave. You were going to let that bad lady hurt you so that I and Adam would be safe," Sam snapped. Dean's face scrunched up, as Sammy snapped at him.

 

"That's not nice Sammy! You 'pose to listen to Daddy! Uncle Bobby! Uncle Bobby!"

 

The sound of the front screen door slamming startled the living room's residence; Bobby soon came rolling in with a stuffed bear in his lap.

 

"What is it boy?"

 

Dean squirmed to get down; stopping only once Sam sat him on the ground.

 

"Uncle Bobby, Sammy said he don’t care what Daddy said!"

 

"He did? Is that the only reason you look about ready to spring a leak?"

 

Dean frowned and looked down, "Maybe."

 

Bobby's eyebrow went up, "You know, I'm pretty sure Chevy doesn't like lairs."

 

Dean's eyes widened as Bobby held up Chevy.

 

"Tevy!"

 

"You want to tell me why you're all broken up?"

 

"Sammy snapped at me," Dean mumbled.

 

"Really?"

 

Dean nodded, "Yes sir."

 

Sam smirked over little Dean's head at Bobby, they could both tell that Dean didn't like the fact that he might have gotten Sammy in trouble. They could easily tell that the kid was trying to take back his tattle.

 

"So should I send Sammy to the corner?"

 

Dean looked up, utterly shocked, "No! Uncle Bobby he didn't mean it. Don't send my Sammy to da corner! Please don't!"

 

Bobby chuckled, "I won't do that this time, kid, but he better act right. Here's Chevy."

 

Dean happily took the bear and clutched it to his body; he then whirled around and grinned at Sammy.

 

"You not it in trouble Sammy but be nicer or I'll let Uncle Bobby put you in da corner," Dean warned.

 

Sammy sighed dramatically, "Alright, I'll be nicer."

 

"Why is the corner so bad?"

 

Sammy and Bobby nearly busted a stitch laughing at Castiel's question.

 

"You don't know why da corner is scary?"

 

"Um- no Dean I don't'. Please explain this to me," Castiel asked.

 

Dean nodded; he reached up and took the angel's hand then pulled him over to the nearest corner. Adam reentered the room just in time to hear, "Cass sit down. I gots to explain dis really good or you could end up in da corner to. See Uncle Bobby says that when people-mostly Sammy- are bad then they go to da corner….-"

 

Adam crept over to the two remaining adults of the house in quiet disbelief, "Is Dean explaining the reason for time out to Castiel?"

 

Sam nodded, "Yes."

 

"Um-why?"

 

"Well, wing-boy asked," Bobby sighed.

 

"So let me get this straight," Adam started, "a fallen angel of the lord is asking a four-year-old what time-out is?"

 

Sam and Bobby nodded in union; Adam simply sighed and shook his head.

 

"Damn, we are screwed. Sam, sorry to say this but team free-will isn't looking to be all it was made out to be."

 

"Yeah, I guess we are currently in a rather- depressing situation," Sam agreed.

 

"Depressing? Sam, currently the only thing your older brother is capable of is talking with a lisp and threatening bad guys with a timeout," Bobby pointed out.

 

Sam sighed and rubbed at his throbbing forehead, "Oh we are so screwed."

 

"Yeah, well I'm gonna go call Jo and Ellen now," Adam sighed.

 

Sam gave him a look, "Why?"

 

"Uh- because we are currently boned seven ways to Sunday and I don't know about you two but I'm getting this vibe that not a single one of us know how to take care of a four-year-old," Adam pointed out.

 

Bobby and Sam went to object but both were stopped by the sound of Dean squealing, they looked over to see Dean hiding behind- a very confused- Castiel, from a Daddy long legs. They watched as Castiel cocked his head to the side, as Dean demanded that the spider wasn't good and that it had to go squish before it "bit his Sammy and Adam."

 

Castiel didn't seem to understand why Dean Winchester -even at four- was afraid of a spider, but he quickly met Dean's demands by snapping his fingers and making the little spider disappear. It was only then that Dean came out from hiding with Chevy in his arms and an amazed look on his face.

It was rather disturbing to see the glint of mischief appear on the little boy's after that, it was about that time that time that Sam realized that Dean might be a bit too much to handle without Ellen here.

It wasn’t until Dean asked about making Batman appear that he actually pushed his little brother in the direction of the phone.

 

"Right you go call in the Calvary, while I explain to Dean and the almighty angel that's wrapped around his finger, that making spiders disappear is one thing but making superheroes come to life is a whole other ballgame. Okay Dean and Castiel, I think I need to explain something-"

 

 

 

// * \\\

 

Dean yawned as he sat quietly on Castiel's lap, his thumb was securely placed near his mouth, Chevy was just as firmly wrapped in his arm, and he was wearing one of Adam's t-shirts- well wore wasn’t really the right word, Dean was more swimming in it.

All in all to anyone and everyone sitting around the kid- Dean looked to cute to handle.

Sam couldn't believe just how much the little boy that in reality was his big brother- looked like their mom.

He had spent a good while comparing the little boy to the photo of their mom that Dean had given him for his tenth birthday. It was crazy to look up from the picture every now and then and see an almost mirror image of their mom looking back at him.

Dean really did take after their mom which meant that Dean hadn't been lying when he had told Sam that he looked just like their dad had before he had gotten neck deep in all this hunter stuff.

Sam had yet to figure out if that was a good thing or not.

"He is really into that movie," Adam whispered from his place over at the desk.

Sam looked up and over at Adam, "Huh?"

"The movie that Bobby popped in," Adam explained, "Dean seems to be really into it."

After a long conversation on why it was not okay to make fictional characters appear Bobby had decided that a movie would the right way to distract Dean from getting into any trouble.

"Oh yeah, well Dean absolutely loves The Fox and the Hound," Sam chuckled, "when we were kids he had his own copy and we would watch it every night before bed, up until it actually broke."

"That sucks," Adam sighed, "the part about it breaking I mean."

"Yeah, well Dean actually went out and swiped another copy from a local movie store. In fact that copy he's watching happens to be the one he stole."

Adam smirked, "Only Dean."

"Yeah, only Dean."

"Castiel seems to be alright with watching this movie a tenth time," Adam pointed out.

"Yeah I noticed. I think it might be because he's trying to figure out why it is that Dean likes it so much."

"Really? I think it's just because Cass is pretty much Dean's bitch," Adam chuckled.

Sam grinned, "Don't say that. Castiel is just very dedicated to Dean, I mean Dean is the one who promised to help Castiel stop Armageddon. Dean is very important to all of us. Hell, if Cass hadn't have been suckered into playing the role of Dean's human sized pillow and watching The Fox and the Hound till his eyes bleed then it would have been one of us and you know it's true."

Adam chuckled and nodded, "Yeah well, I didn't see angel boy make any attempts to get out of it."

Sam nodded, "You got me there."

Sam picked up the book he was reading but looked back to Adam, who was still looking over at Dean and Cass.

"You know, I can't stop thinking about something weird that happened whenever that Hag got Dean," Adam admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know if it means anything, or if it was just something I took the wrong way," Adam admitted.

Sam sat his book down and quietly walked over to Adam, he sat on the window seat next to him and looked at his little brother with a stern look.

"Adam, anything could help about right now. If you hadn't noticed our big brother is currently sitting in the living room sucking his thumb and way shorter then he usually is, at this point weird could be helpful."

Adam nodded, "I guess so. Okay well, I know you heard her say this. She said that, Dean was perfect. Filled to the brim with just what she needed,' and that 'He that perfect type of tortured soul. That he was one of those who had attempted to take his own life. He was one of those who has almost tasted death at his own hand.' I don't want to just throughout some random thoughts but- well Sammy I think she might have meant that Dean may have tried to kill himself or something."

Sam looked horrified, "What?"

Adam frowned, "I know that sounds bad and impossible but-"

"No. Adam don't even think that. Dean would never do that. He's not the type to do something like that. Dean is a fighter, he would never-"

Adam held up his hand, "I know but what if? What if that's her type."

"No. Find some other connection, Dean would never do anything like that."

Adam frowned, I'm sorry."

"It's okay Adam, just -just don't say something like that about Dean," Sam sighed.

Adam quietly went back to his book and soon Sam did the same, both were quiet because both were thinking rather hard about what had been said. It was then that Bobby came into the room.

"Hey Bobby, what did Ellen say?"

"Well she said that her and Jo were actually heading this way already. I explained how most of the men currently here ain't got a clue how to take care of a kid that's Dean's age. Well, she agreed and said that she'd be here around lunch time tomorrow."

Adam grinned, "That's good. I know for a fact that I couldn't take care of a kid."

"Yeah, we know you ran out of the room whenever he started to cry," Sam snickered.

"Hey! I was in shock is all," Adam defended, "I mean seeing Dean randomly burst into tears is not something that I am use to. It was terrifying."

"You sissy," Bobby sighed.

Adam frowned, "Ok whatever, I don't see you to playing house in there. Cass is the only one who has been attached to Dean all day and that guy is clueless about grownups, explain how we've been up staged by Cass."

Sam sighed, "That's easy to explain. Dean thinks we are impossible when he was an adult. He treated us like we were the four year olds, maybe the little kid version of him thinks the same thing."

Adam frowned, "That means a four year old thinks we as adults are immature? Wow, that's sad. Jeez Dean has a way of making people's self-confidence turn to shit."

Sam nodded, "Yes, but it's only when you over think what he does that you feel that way. Try not to let it bother you, I don't. Dean doesn't mean to do that, it's just that he’s very over protective and well whenever he does the whole mother hen thing it’s in such a manly way that it makes you feel slightly intimidated."

Adam sighed, "Still sucks that a four year thinks that I'm immature."

"Well you sort of are," Bobby sighed, "after all Dean is the one who’s been doing your laundry and making most of your meals. Without him here both of you boys would be have starved and walking around bare-ass naked."

Sam frowned this time, "I do some of my laundry and I eat healthy meals."

"Yeah, I've seen your handy-work on some of your "clean clothes". Pink undies and socks ain't to promising ya idjit."

Sam blushed, "I've gotten better about that. They aren't pink anymore."

"Yeah well they sure ain't white. Listen all I know is that Dean is a very important factor in our lives and we need to make sure he don't end up dead."

"Which is why Ellen and Jo are coming," Sam pointed out, "Ellen is the only person we know who has raised a child other than Dean."

Adam sighed and looked down at his book, "Still sucks that a four year is more responsible than we are."

Sam nodded and sighed, "You'll get used to it."

Castiel was beyond enthralled by this movie, he could see why Dean kept replaying it. Castiel had to admit he really liked this movie- it was-cute?

"So the dog is Copper?"

"That's-" Dean paused as a yawn overcame him, "- his name. Cass, you like Copper?"

"I believe I like the fox more," Castiel admitted.

"You like Todd?"

"Yes, Todd the fox."

"I like him, but Copper is my favorite. He not a mean doggy, he is a nice doggy," Dean yawned.

"Do you not like dogs?"

Dean shook his head, "They hurt me. I gots bad dreams 'bout them."

"Bad dreams?"

Dean nodded, Castiel could feel Dean tense up as he continued to talk about dogs.

"They are mean and they hurt me all the time, but Copper not gonna do that. He a good doggy."

Castiel frowned, he knew Dean was talking about the Hellhounds, something that he would've never talked about if he were still his correct age.

"You know I will not ever allow the- um- bad doggies to hurt you ever again, right?"

Dean nodded as he cuddled into Castiel's chest, once again sucking on his thumb, Castiel didn't understand why a child wanted to suck on their thumb.

Wasn't it a bit unsanitary?

"Promise?"

Castiel nodded, "Yes I do."

"Thank you."

"You’re welcome Dean," Castiel whispered.

Dean took a deep breath and quietly watched his movie a bit longer before speaking again.

"Cass?"

"Yes?"

"I hurt again," Dean mumbled.

Castiel responded quickly to that, "Where are you hurting Dean?"

Dean lifted his little hand and touched his head, Castiel quickly lifted him and turned him to face him. Castiel's eyes went wide as he saw that Dean's nose was bleeding.

"Sam! Adam!"

Dean's body began to shake, his eyes rolled back in his head and he couldn't seem to catch his breath. It was then that Sam, Adam, and Bobby entered the room, just in time to catch the bright white light and feel the sensation of being suck into Dean's past once again.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Sam knew that he wasn't going to get use to this anytime soon. No the whole sick feeling that was left after, was not at all something he enjoyed.

It was worse than whenever Castiel had taken him and Dean into the past.

 Just like Dean had said, "Make sure to bend your knees."

Sam stumbled a little too far to the left and landed with a thud on a very sorry excuse for a couch.

He yelped rather loud as his butt was stabbed by spring.

"Sonofabitch!"

"Sammy?"

Sam looked up to see Adam clinging to Castiel like a the angel was a life raft, in any other circumstance Dean would've been cracking up and making jokes- Sam knew that wasn’t going to be the case this time.

Sam looked around and realized that they were currently in what looked like some abandoned warehouse. There was odd bits of old and disgusting furniture here and there.

It kind of looked like this might have been- a hide out?

"Sam, where the hell are we?"

Sam looked over at Bobby who was standing next to a caved in version of a love seat.

Sam got to his feet in shock.

Bobby was standing, actually standing!

"Bobby?"

"I know boy I'm on my feet. Something- this can't be real."

"It is not," Castiel assured, "we are in the past again. We are only an astral projection and as such you have no wheelchair, Bobby."

Sam frowned, "Thank you for not sparing his feelings Cass."

"You are welcome?"

Sam shook his head; he was really going to have to get Dean to work with the angel on his sarcasm comprehension whenever they fixed all of this.

"Where or um when are we?"

Everyone looked over at Adam who was looking around.

"I'm- I'm not entirely sure. I don't remember this place," Sam answered.

"Well Dean must have some ties to it," Bobby pointed out.

"Dean, man why do you always want to come hang out in this dump?"

Everyone jumped and turned in direction of the voice that echoed throughout the warehouse.

"Because this is the only place in this whole shitty town that I don't have to worry about someone looking at me weird for talking to myself," answered Dean.

Everyone went silent as they watched a ten-year-old Dean making his way through the warehouse. There was a boy following behind him, a boy whose hair was spiked up in the front, his skin was paler, his green eyes were brighter, and he had piercings.

He was wearing snug fitting jeans with frayed hole in the knees; he wore ratty black converse, a black t-shirt, and a leather jacket with a pair of shredded angel wing patches on the back.

"Is that- Michael?"

"I-I think it is," Sam gasped.

"You and I both know that don't talk to yourself," Michael sighed.

Dean continued to stomp angrily toward the crappy sofa that he had pulled in from the back alley last week.  He angrily flopped down on it, ignoring the spring that dug into his back and propped his feet on the arm rest.

 

"What is it that I'm doing right now? Mikie you're just a figment of my imagination. We've been over this! You are not real; you are just some stress induced hallucination."

Michael frowned, "I am not! I'm your friend."

Dean didn't respond to that he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Yeah you kind of are. It's kind of sad; I mean why can't I make friends who aren't possibly caused by brain tumors?"

Michael sighed and walked over, Dean raised up and let Mikie sit down, he then laid back on the other boys lap. 

Michael brushed his fingers through Dean's hair and hummed contently.

"You don't have any brain tumors, you idiot. Plus, isn't Sammy your friend too?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah. I guess, but he’s my little brother and to be honest the poor kid just about can't wait to get away from me."

Michael looked shocked, "What? Dean what the hell are you talking about?"

"I think I might over mother him. I mean I'm always right there behind him. You think maybe I over crowd him? I mean I just don't want anything to happen to him but am I over playing the big brother card?"

Dean looked up at Michael, his best friend.

The only person who he could talk to without being criticized, because honestly he couldn't talk to his dad.

Dad wasn't home enough to actually talk to- plus Dean would never talk to his dad about the things that ran through his mind. He couldn't really talk to Sammy either- after all Sammy was just a little kid, he really wouldn't want to hear any of the crap in Dean's head.

Michael had always been there, he had always been the one there to listen and help.

Dean couldn't remember when or how Michael had first come to him, but all that mattered to him was that Michael was there and he listened.

"Dean, what's brought all this on?"

Dean shrugged, he knew what had brought this on and he knew Michael did to.

"It's the nightmares again, isn't it?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah. I keep seeing Sammy standing on the other side of that doorway. I still can't run fast enough to stop it from closing, and what's scary is that Sammy never tries to stop the door from closing on his side. He just stands there looking- looking scared and sorry about something."

Michael gently strokes Dean's hair then sighs, "What's the feeling you get from the dream?"

"You already know what it is Mikie," Dean sighed.

"Yes but talking about it may help."

Dean frowns, "I always feel like I failed him. Like I pushed him away or something. Like maybe he doesn't want me around. I get that empty useless feeling, the one that- that makes it hard to breath."

Dean clutched at Michael's arm, and looked like he was fighting to catch his breath for a moment or two.

"Dean! Man calm down, you're going to end up having a panic attack again," Michael warned, "and I'm pretty sure we barely survived the last one. You know the one where you locked yourself in the bathroom so Sammy wouldn't see."

Dean took a deep breath then slowly let it out, he glared up at Michael.

"You just won't let that one go will you? I only did that so Sammy wouldn't get scared," Dean snapped.

"Sure, it had nothing to do with the fact that you just don't want the kid to think that you're human to. I gotta say Dean you're not doing Sammy any favors playing this fake superhero card with him. What happens on the day you have one of these attacks and Sammy sees? The kid will be beyond freaked out. Hell, he won't even know what to do."

Dean frowned, "I willing to take that chance."

Michael shook his head, "You are an idiot."

"You're an imaginary friend," Dean shot back.

"Who you imagined and who just called you an idiot! So with those two things in mind- you technically think that you are an idiot subconsciously."

"I hate you," Dean grumbled.

"Hating yourself is counterproductive," Michael sighed.

"Some friend you are."

"But I'm your best friend," Michael pouted.

Dean was quiet after that, so was Michael. They both sat in silence listening to nothing, thinking things over. Dean was the first to break that silence.

"I wish other people could see you," Dean said.

"Why?"

"Because, then maybe I'd have other friends to," Dean admitted with a blush.

"Huh? Why would people seeing me help you with that?"

"Because- because you are a better person then I am."

Michael looked a surprised, "What?"

Dean chewed on his bottom lip- it was amazing how he looked beyond adorable.

Michael sighed, he just didn't get why Dean had no self-confidence. This boy was amazing- he had come so far.

Michael wasn't sure how but this boy beat all the odds, at some point Dean the vessel the being created to only be an empty house to carry the soul of a fallen angel, had become its own creation. Dean was his own person; sure Michael made up a large portion of that person, but somehow in all of the essence that was Michael- there was Dean.

Michael knew that in time he and Dean would become one- a whole. In these recent years Michael had noticed that Dean was becoming more dominant. The little soul inside this body that he had created was slowly taking over. He had pretty much expected something like that sooner or later but it had been a shock. It was amazing but in was slightly terrifying to think that he would be someone else soon. Michael looked down at Dean and sighed, the soul that was Dean, was in all honesty him. If Michael had never been an angel he knew that he would've been born as this soul.

Born and Dean Michal Winchester.

"Dean, you are an amazing person. You are someone who no one in this world could match. You're the coolest."

Dean shrugged, "I don't feel that way, man."

"I know you just need more confidence."

"I have confidence," Dean pouted.

"Sure, and that's why you're here instead of back at the school. Dean, you skipped recess just because you were afraid of those kids talking to you."

Dean sat up and pulled his knees to his chest then wrapped his arms tightly around them.

Michael sighed, that was one of the kid's emotional defenses, and he closed in on himself a lot.

"I left because I was tired of listening to all that lame ass crap the teacher was spouting. I mean why can't they teach us more interesting things? I know all this stuff already!"

Michael sighed, "You know if you would stop skipping and stop playing dumb they would bump you up a few grades. You are smart enough."

Dean shrugged, "Sammy's the one who likes school. I just like reading and music; I mean being a hunter is fun to-"

"But, you want to do something that involves music, reading, or being a hero," Michael finished.

Dean nodded, "Exactly. But, Dad says that hunting isn't something you just quit."

"I know. Your Dad says a lot of shit. It’s not always something we might enjoy, but it's important to follow the orders of our fathers."

Dean nodded again, and then closed his eyes.

Michael was right, following his dad's orders were important. His dad wasn't to be questioned. He had to be a good solider and sometimes to be a good solider you had to make sacrifices and do the things you'd never want to do. Dean's life had been like that ever since his mom had been killed. He knew it wasn't something that was going to change either.

In all honesty he didn't want it to change, for some reason Dean knew that without someone there to call the shots or someone to protect, that he'd be lost. He had grown up knowing only this and he'd probably die knowing only this.

It wasn't the Winchester way; no it was the Dean way.

"Mikie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me get confidence? I want Sammy to think I cool, and I can't do that if those girls back at school think I'm weird."

Michael laughed, "Dean they didn't think you were weird."

"They didn't?"

"No, they were flirting with you. They liked you," Michael explained.

"What? That's kind of weird," Dean mumbled.

"Why is that?"

"Because I don't really like girls very much. I mean they're so loud and annoying and- well they're sort of scary to."

Michael laughed, "Scary? Girls aren't scary, Dean."

"Are to! They are scary and I really don't like them," Dean rambled.

"You've fought hundreds of scary things and here you are afraid of girls?"

Dean blushed and refused to look at Michael as he laughed at him.

"Shut up," Dean grumbled.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Listen though, girls are an important part of life- I guess, plus if you don't at least get with one Sammy might think that you're weird and well we both know your dad would be worried. I mean don't most boys your age at least have one girl crushing on them?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know. I'm not good with girls. I barely talk to anyone other than you and my family. I mean you're my only best friend Mikie."

Michael smiled, "I know. I like being you best friend. So as your best friend I'll help you with the lady issue."

"Really?"

"Trust me by the end of the week you'll the best when it comes to girls."

"I don't know Mikie. I don't think I could ever get used to being around girls," Dean mumbled.

"Dean, come on! When have I ever let you down?"

"Never."

"Exactly! So just do what I say and you'll be the biggest ten year old ladies man around," Michael assured.

Dean frowned, "Why does that give me a bad feeling?"

Sam was in shock as he watched the memory slowly start to fade.

He had no idea about any of this.

He didn't know about the panic attacks, the "imaginary friend", or Dean's dislike of girls.

Where had that gone?

Dean had seemed so shy, so timid in that memory.

Almost like a different person.

The thoughts, all the mental processes going on in that memory had filled his head. He had been able to hear and think what they thought.

He never would've guessed that Dean had hid so much from him and dad.

"Dean was afraid of girls?"

Sam looked over at Adam and shrugged, "I-I guess so?"

"Dean had panic attacks?"

All eyes turned to Castiel. The angel looked troubled.

"I never knew about them," Sam admitted.

"It seems that Dean and Michael are very close, or were. How is it that he has not mentioned this ‘Mikie’ to us?"

"Cass, he said it himself, he thinks or well thought that Mikie wasn't real. Just his imagination or stress or something. Dean doesn't believe that Mikie is real," Adam pointed out.

Castiel shook his head, "I do not like this. I do not enjoy seeing Dean in that state. He is incomplete, he is vulnerable, and he is- scarred."

Sam nodded, "I don't like it either."

"Dean's pretty damn good at hiding shit ain't he," Bobby spoke up.

Sam nodded, "He is and it's scary. I don't think that I'm going to like the things we see from here on out."

"I don't think any of us are," Bobby assured.

"Hey! Look! I think we're going to another memory," Adam cried out as the darkness around them began to spin and surge toward them.

"Hold on to someone boys," Bobby yelled out.

Sam felt Castiel take hold of him as they were yanked forward once again.

This time when the world came back into focus the boys found themselves outside.

"Um where are we now?"

Sam sighed, "I haven't got a clue."

"I have a bad feeling," Castiel spoke up as he looked around rather frantically even for him.

This got everyone's attention, Castiel wasn't prone to frantic.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure," Castiel answered.

Right as the angel took a step forward Dean came hurtling through the air.

"Cass look out!"

Castiel was slightly stunned as the projectile Dean simply passed through him and hit the dumpster that had been to the left of him.

"Dean?"

The sound of shoes hitting concrete jerked Castiel's attention, he saw a man heading for the thirteen year-old Dean.

"Dean get up," Castiel yelled in union with another voice.

He watched Michael appeared out of nowhere next the fallen boy.

Dean groaned in pain as Michael tried to pull him to his feet.

"I feel like I got hit by a house," Dean croaked.

"You look like it to," Mikie snapped, "but we can talk about that after we get away from the pissed off giant."

Dean groaned but finally allowed Michael to pull him to his feet and lead off down the alley way that Castiel and the others had appeared in.

"You want to explain why you just had to piss off that guy?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Dude, you were hitting on his daughter and you stole from his shop!"

"I was not! I was trying to be nice! Plus, the prices this guy had were highway robbery!"

"Dean, what have I told you about your methods of nice? Plus, damn it Dean, pricey or not you don't steal!"

"Um-"

"You idiot! You are this natural chick magnet and you don't even get that!"

"I don't want to attract them if it means this happens every time! Damn it, women are more trouble than they are worth! I was just trying to get her to let me sneak this thing out of there! I didn't think she'd flip out like that!"

Dean and Michael whipped around a corner fast enough to almost give Dean whip-lash.

Michael pulled him further down the alleyway pausing only to look for a way out.

"Oh man! We're screwed!"

"We? I'm just the imaginary friend remember. No one but you can see me," Michael reminded as he caught sight of a fire escape ladder hanging in midair. Dean saw it to and frowned.

"I hate this already," Dean growled.

"Get over it. Alright come on jump up there," Michael snapped as he pushed Dean along.

Dean took a running start and jumped, he just barely caught the ladder.

He cried out but quickly latched on the metal bars and quickly began climbing. He managed to reach the top just as the scary guy turned the corner. Dean rolled onto his back and laid flat against the roof trying to catch his breath.

He was clutching something under his jacket as his chest heaved.

"A-alright, that sucked," Dean panted, "I can't believe he threw me like that! I mean I'm just a frigg'in kid and his tossed me like trash!"

Michael sighed as he appeared out of thin air, "Can you blame him? I mean you did sort of waltz up into his store, trick his daughter with that charm of yours, and then you had the nerve to steal from him!"

"And I would've gotten away with it to if it weren't for those meddling kids," Dean chuckled. Michael reached over and punched him in the shoulder.

"Ouch," Dean pouted.

"Quoting Scooby-Doo villains at a time like this is not cool," Michael growled.

"I got away," Dean sighed.

"Barely! And look! You're all banged up, that guy busted your lip, you have a knot on the side of your head, and you might have a damn concussion."

Dean rolled his eyes and sat up- he was instantly met with a wave of dizziness and laid back down.

"Double ouch," Dean mumbled.

"You don't even think before you do these things do you?"

"I do sometimes but other times you can't over think things," Dean sighed as he lip started to throb.

Michael shook his head as he crawled over to Dean and leaned down over him.

"You gonna kiss me better Michael?"

"You know I'm regretting teaching you how to tap into your hidden Winchester cockiness. It's really not as adorable as you think smart ass," Michael grumbled.

"Hey, the girls like it," Dean countered.

"Yeah and you see where that gets you," Michael sighed as he pressed his forehead to Dean's, "Plus when have you ever even liked girls?"

Dean blushed, "Shut up! I like girls just fine. They are just really troublesome. Just because I ain't always all over them doesn't mean I don't like them."

 

Michael rolled his eyes, "You know you need to start thinking about you're standing on girls. I mean how long you can lie to Sammy and Dad about where you go when you're supposedly hanging out with a hot girl. You can't always sneak off to some abandoned place and hang out with a figment of your imagination. It's unhealthy."

Dean pushed Michael away and rolled onto his side, he took the object out of his jacket and sat it down beside him.

It was wrapped snuggly in a paper sack.

"You never seem to have a problem with it. Plus, I don't like being around people. I always freak out and it's embarrassing."

Michael sighed and laid next to Dean, he cuddle up behind the boy and wrapped his arms securely around Dean's waist.

Dean relaxed into the embrace and sighed.

"You don't have to worry I'm always there with you."

"What happens when you're not anymore?"

"When that happens you'll be strong enough without me," Michael assured.

"That'll never happen," Dean assured.

"You're strong enough to take care of Sammy and Dad,' Michael pointed out.

"That's different,' Dean whispered, "I need them more then they need me. If I didn't have them to take care of then I'd be alone.”

“They need you more. Without you neither of they could live. You are their superhero.”

"Some superhero," Dean grumbled.

"You're the best superhero around," Michael assured, "only a superhero would risk his ass to steal his baby brother a birthday present."

Dean blushed, "You think he'll like it?"

"He better, he has been whining about it for months!"

Dean smiled as he peeked inside the bag at the book that Sammy had been wanting for a while now.

It was leather bound edition of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Dean knew that Sammy had been wanting that book ever since they had accidentally left their old copy back in a different state.

"Well you got a two for one out of that little shoplifting escapade. That book and a new copy of your favorite movie."

Dean smiled as he saw the movie case to The Fox and the Hound. He loved that movie; it was one that he and Mom had use to watch all the time. Mom and loved the movie, she liked Todd the most. Dean liked Copper. His copy had broken a few states back and he hadn't had a goodnights sleep since then. He really couldn't sleep well unless he fell asleep to that movie. Even Sammy hadn't been sleeping well.

"Yeah that was a good move," Dean agreed.

"Just don't do it again. Okay?"

"Okay. I think I'll hold off on the world class thief dream for a bit," Dean agreed.

"Good. Now, about that concussion," Michael sighed.

Dean smiled, "Kiss it better?"

Michael chuckled but then gently leaned forward and kissed the side of Dean's head.

Dean sighed as he head instantly felt better; Michael could always do that for him.

"Feel better?"

Dean nodded and yawned; Michael sighed and pulled Dean closer.

"Tired?"

Dean always feet exhausted after Michael made him feel better, he would feel drained.

He didn't understand why that happened.

"Yeah."

"Come on lets head home. I can't have you falling asleep up here. To dangerous."

Dean smiled as he let Michael get him to his feet; he leaned heavily on the other boy as they started moving.

"You know, you are my best friend," Dean pointed out with a grin.

"I know," Michael sighed, "lucky me."

Dean sighed and grabbed Sammy's present, after tucking it safely into his jacket they made they left.

"Michael was like a safety net for him," Sam whispered, "like his shield."

Castiel watched as the memory slowly disappeared. He was not enjoying this, seeing Dean like that. Dean was supposed to be strong, brave, and always sure of himself. Here though, Dean seemed scarred, he seemed lost, and dependent on someone who couldn't stay at his side. Castiel wanted to fix that, each time he had seen Michael he had wanted to yell.

Dean was his to protect.

Castiel froze for a second- had he truly just thought that?

Dean was his, he had pulled him form the fires of the pit.

 Dean had his mark upon his arm. Dean was Castiel's to protect.

"What was with Michael teasing Dean about the girl thing?"

Castiel turned to Adam, who was currently standing next to Bobby.

"I'm not sure. Then again there's a lot of things that I'm not sure about after seeing these memories. I mean I never knew about Dean having panic attacks."

"This boy is good at hiding things," Bobby sighed, "it worries me to think of what else we might see in here."

"It worries me as well," Castiel stated, "I do not like the continued presence of Michael. I do not care if it is only his soul that we are seeing, I do not like it."

The boys looked at Castiel with a bit of shock, the angel sounded pissed off.

"But wait is-is Dean really just the human form of Michael? I mean that's what Michael keeps saying, and well Dean seems very dependent on the guy," Adam said.

Castiel frowned, "No. Dean is nothing like Michael. I'll admit, now that I think of it Dean and Michael do have some physical similarities but no, the Dean that we know is nothing like Michael. He is Dean. Just Dean."

Sam nodded, "Yeah."

"Alright, on to other topics. Why haven't we gone back yet?"

"I'm not sure Bobby," Sam answered, "maybe there's another memory?"

The sudden sound of labored breathing surrounded them.

"What's that?"

The darkness started to spin; the area that had once felt immense began to close in on the boys.

"Sammy! Sammy what's going on?"

"I don't know just hold on!"

The spinning became worse, the breathing became more frantic, and the feeling of heavy claustrophobia was on all of them.

"Sammy! No! NoNoNoNONONO! NO! He's got to be here somewhere! SAMMY!"

The sound of Dean's frantic voice filled their ears. They blinked and suddenly there was a seventeen-year-old Dean, stumbling around an old motel room frantically looking back and forth for any sign of his baby brother.

Dean was hyperventilating, he was clutching at his chest, and he was shaking like crazy.

"Sammy! Please Sammy where are you! SAMMY!"

Dean's foot caught on something and he fell to his knees, fighting to breath. He crawled over to the nearest wall and pressed his back to it. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down, but that didn't seem to work.

"No, Sammy has to be here," Dean wheezed, "he was here when I left. He couldn't have just left. Sammy wouldn't- he wouldn't just leave me."

Dean closed his eyes curled in on himself.

"Demons- they had to take him! What if he's dead-?"

Dean went still, his entire frame froze, his breathing stopped and as well as his trembling.

He knew that Sammy wouldn't have given up in a fight with demons, he also knew that if there had been too many Sammy could've been killed.

He couldn't handle that, couldn’t lose Sammy, no this had been his watch.

 He had been in charge of keeping Sammy safe and now he was gone.

Possibly dead and gone, dead like Mom and gone like Mikie.

Sammy had just left him.

Dean slumped on the wall; his entire frame almost seemed to crumble in on itself. Dean felt his lungs burning for air; he couldn't seem to make himself take a breath.

Dean found that his body just didn't want to live at the moment.

How could it?

Without Sammy, he was lost.

Sammy and Dad didn't get along, not at all, but without both of them right there Dean really couldn't handle what life had thrown at him.

Sure Dean loved hunting, loved traveling, and loved not being tied down, but he couldn't handle being alone.

Without Sammy, Dean knew that he would be alone.

Dean looked around the motel room; he had pretty much torn it apart.

It looked horrible.

Things that would've usually been kept neat and tucked away were now laying everywhere. Dean knew this kind of mess well, it had happened every time he had slipped into a panic attack.

He couldn't really help it, whenever he felt caged in and couldn't breathe this happened. He would cause such a huge mess and then force himself to clean it all back up.

"Sammy-" Dean gasped as his lungs finally went back to work.

Dean's body began to shake again and then everything was back. Dean's eyes raked the room again expecting Sammy to magically appear and yell at him for acting like this.

Dean wanted that to happen, anything right now he would gladly take, a pissed off Sammy was still a Sammy.

That wouldn’t happened of course, Dean knew it wouldn't Sammy was either dead or he had just- just left him.

That's when Dean's eyes caught something.

In the middle of the floor laid his gun- the street light from outside cut through the window and caught on the metal, causing the gun the shine almost obscenely.

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and found himself slowly making his way over to the gun.

He stopped only when he heard the sound of his father's truck pulling up.

He closed his eyes and moved back against the wall.

He took a deep breath and waited for the yelling.

He had let Dad down and in that process lost Sammy.

This was not going to be good.

"I wish you were here Mikie. Figment of my imagination of not- you were my best friend."

Sammy, Adam, Bobby, and Castiel felt something grab them and jerk them backwards. They were all rather speechless as they were tossed back into the real world. Sammy landed with a hard thud on the floor, Bobby landed in his wheel chair and was sent rolling back slamming into the far wall, Adam landed on the couch and actually bounced twice before rolling onto the floor, and Castiel was thrown back against the wall. He held the little trembling Dean in his arms shielding him from the impact and anything else that might hurt him.

Dean was clutching Castile shirt and trembling in his arms.

Castiel looked down at Dean and saw that the boy was crying silently in his arms.

"Dean?"

"Make it stop Cass," Dean whimpered, "no more pwease. Don't like it."

Castiel felt his chest tighten; he held Dean closer and nodded.

"I'll make it stop Dean. I promise."

"Don't leave me, k? I don't wanna be alone. Promise?"

Castiel nodded, "I promise."

Dean pressed his face into Castiel's shirt, getting tears and blood all over the white fabric. Castiel couldn't seem to find a fault in that, no he really didn't care; because he knew that he had just witnessed Dean Winchester consider biting a bullet. He knew that for that one moment so long ago he could've lost Dean. That he could've lost the man that called him Angel-face. The human that made his stomach flutter every time he smiled.

He couldn't lose Dean, no.

He wasn't going to let anything happen to or leave him.

 

// * \\\

 

Sam sat starring at Dean, as the little boy slept quietly with Chevy held tightly in his arms next to Adam. The two had fallen asleep on the couch watching Dean's movie. It was actually kind of adorable, really.

Not the Sam would ever say that out loud.

After they had cleaned Dean up, they had redressed his wounds, which seemed to have somehow healed up a bit faster than what they had expected.

Sam had went to the local Wal-Mart and bought a few things for his brother, one of those things were the Batman pjs that he was currently sleeping in.

Sam took a deep breath and rubbed at his forehead, he had been up most of the night watching Dean. Sam just needed to see that Dean was there, he needed to know that Dean hadn't ever actually picked up that gun.

Sam knew what that night was, that the night he had run away.

He had left that night to run off and have his own life, he just hadn't realized that by doing that, that he might have almost taken away Dean's life. Seeing all of that, seeing that Dean did have dents in his armor was terrifying.

Dean was the only thing that really kept them all fighting against Lucifer and the Angels. To think that Dean had almost- almost killed himself, well it was something that shook Sam up. He had barely survived when Dean was in Hell, he hadn't even been gone that long, but to think of what it would've been like if Dean had died by his own hand- it was just something that just didn't register.

Of course there was a shit load of things that weren't registering right now.

Like Mikie, what the hell was that all about?

Dean had had this freaking invisible angel metaphorically sitting on his shoulder since before he was born.

Hell if what they had seen was anything to go by Dean was sort of an angel anyway. He was Michael; he was the fallen version of Michael.

Then what was it that the angels were trying to get him to say yes to?

Better question yet, why hadn't Dean said anything to anyone about "Mikie"?

Sure, it did sound crazy but eventually- okay they might have put Dean in Bobby's panic room and given him a holy water diet for the rest of his life.

Okay so Dean might have seen the outcome of saying something about his imaginary friend. Apparently Michael had disappeared sometime before Dean hit seventeen, because in that last memory Michael hadn't come to the rescue.

This whole situation was so confusing; it was opening up another whole side of Dean.

One that Sam had never seen.

It was sort of flipping things upside down.

"Damn it Dean, what else are you hiding from us?"

"A lot apparently," Bobby sighed.

Sam looked over in surprise; he had thought Bobby had already went to bed.

"What do you mean?"

"Castiel found a book that gave a bit more light on the Hag," Bobby explained.

Sam got up and followed after Bobby as the man wheeled himself into the next room. Castiel was sitting quietly holding an extremely old book. Sam could see the look on his face, this wasn't good.

"Cass?"

Castiel looked up, the look only looked worse.

"Cass tell ‘em what you told me," Bobby sighed.

"The Hag's type as you put it- are those who have come close to death. Those who have come close to death by their own hand and those who have lost love to the grip of death."

"What? But Dean didn't even pick the gun up! He only- he only though about it! Dean hasn't lost love to death."

Castiel was very quiet for a moment then looked up, "Sam at some point Dean must have at some point almost succeeded in killing himself and at some point he must have lost someone who he fell in love with."

Sam shook his head, not Dean. His big brother won't- he would never do something like that.

Unless it was to save someone or his family.

Dean would never willing take his own life unless it was to save someone else's life.

"Cass, no this isn't possible," Sam snapped, "Dean would never!"

"Sam, Dean did at some point. It has happened in the past and that is what we have to worry about now, the past. We have to worry about it and know about it because it might be the only thing we can use to keep Dean alive.”

Sam was quiet after that; the tone in Cass's voice had assured that.

He had never heard Cass's voice sound like that, angry, lost, and so full of conflicting emotions. Where had that come from?

Sure Cass and Dean were friends, but-

_"You know you need to start thinking about you're standing on girls. I mean how long you can lie to Sammy and Dad about where you go when you're supposedly hanging out with a hot girl. You can't always sneak off to some abandoned place and hang out with a figment of your imagination. It's unhealthy."_

_"Because I don't really like girls very much. I mean they're so loud and annoying and- well they're sort of scary to."_

_Michael laughed, "Scary? Girls aren't scary, Dean."_

_"Are to! They are scary and I really don't like them," Dean rambled._

_"You've fought hundreds of scary things and here you are afraid of girls?"_

_Dean blushed and refused to look at Michael as he laughed at him._

_"Shut up," Dean grumbled._

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Listen though, women are an important part of life- I guess, plus if you don't at least get with one Sammy might think that you're weird and well we both know your dad would be worried. I mean don't most boys your age at least have one girl crushing on them?"_

_Dean shrugged, "I don't know. I'm not good with girls. I barely talk to anyone other than you are my family. I mean you're my only best friend Mikie."_

_Michael smiled, "I know. I like being you best friend. So as your best friend I'll help you with the lady issue."_

_"Really?"_

_"Trust me by the end of the week you'll the best when it comes to girls."_

_"I don't know Mikie. I don't think I could ever get used to being around girls," Dean mumbled._

Sam thought about that then looked over at Castiel.

Had he missed something?

Did Dean like guys?

Wait, no Dean was a ladies man and Cass was to naïve to like anybody.

Then again, Dean and Cass were attached at the hip.

Had Sam missed something again?

Was this something important?

"Listen," Bobby sighed, "we should all hit the sack. We can yell and argue tomorrow after we've gotten a few good hours of shuteye. Plus, if you two wake Dean up with all this yelling I'll make you both sleep out in the garage. Poor kid needs some sleep."

Sam sighed and nodded, "Right. Good night."

Sam quietly made his way into the living room, only to find that Cass had beat him there.

He was holding a sleeping Dean.

"I will go put him to bed. You get Adam upstairs."

Sam sighed, "Fine."

Castiel nodded and then was gone; Sam heard the familiar creak of feet moving up stairs then went about getting his little brother up.

He would figure this all out.

Tomorrow he would talk with the angel.


	7. Chapter 7

Adam groaned angrily as he was woken up by a rather excitable child version of his big brother. Over the few weeks that his big brother had been running around like a hell raising goblin on a sugar rush, he’d learned a few things about the guy. One being that Dean seemed to think that jumping on other peoples’ beds was the best way to go about waking them up for breakfast. Alarm clocks just didn’t seem to do the job like the sudden and unexpected weight of a small child landing on you did.

 

"Time to get up! Wakie wakie, Addy! Uncle Bobby said you gotta wake up!"

 

Each word was followed by a bounce that left Adam groaning in annoyance and taking a teddy bear’s leg to the face. Adam just didn’t get it, adult Dean wasn’t a morning person unless there was a hunt to be taken care of or he was in mother hen mode. Usually mother hen mode, meant a spotless house, breakfast, and that Adam and Sam got to sleep in.

 

Little Dean didn’t seem to work that way, though. No, the kid left little piles of death Legos in the worst possibly places (Adam had stepped on more than a few), he couldn’t cook and the only thing he could make were mud piles (Sam had found that out the hard way, Adam would never forget the look on Sam’s face as he spat out what he’d mistaken for a cookie), and Dean refused to let _anyone_ sleep in.

 

Yup, as soon as the sun was up, Dean expected everyone else to be up as well.

 

God, Adam missed sleeping in.

 

"Wake up! Wake up! It’s time to get up,” Dean squealed.

 

Adam finally lost it; he sat up and grabbed the little kid mid jump, causing his legs to hang in the air, kicking back and forth slightly.

 

Adam forced a, he was sure, slightly deranged smile , the little boy simply grinned back oblivious to the fact that Adam was contemplating chunking him out of the window and then going back to sleep.

 

Facing the wrath of Castiel didn’t seem as terrifying to a rather sleep deprived Adam.

 

"Dean."

 

"Yup?"

 

"Why are you so determined to not let me sleep?"

 

                "Cause Uncle Bobby said you gotta wake up. He is da boss, Addy."

 

Adam sighed, "What’s with the nick name?"

 

Dean’s smiled widened and Adam all but felt his teeth rotting from the rising cuteness of his big brother.

 

"Cause you don't gotta nickname like Sammy and Cass. You gotta have one, so I picked Addy. I like it, so that’s what I’m gonna call you,” Dean explained like he was explaining the most obvious thing in the world.

 

Adam smirked, of course Dean didn't want him to feel left out.

 

That was his big brother alright.

 

"Dean, can you please let me sleep a few more minutes? Pretty please," Adam whined, “big brothers are suppose to let their baby brothers sleep.”

 

Dean shook his head and frowned, "You gotta get up, Uncle Bobby fixed pancakes! He even let me help to. I promise I didn’t put mud in ‘em."

 

Adam sighed, "You promise there’s no mud in them?”

 

Dean nodded, “I pinkie swear.”

 

Adam nodded as he locked pinkies with Dean.

 

Pinkie swears, to Dean, were even more binding then a cross road demon’s deal.

 

The first time Sam had broken one, Dean had talked to him for half of the day. It had taken ice cream and a new toy truck to get back on his good side.

 

“Fine,” Adam grumbled giving up in the prospect of more sleep, “I’ll get up! You go on down stairs and let me get ready, okay. I’ll be right down.”

 

Dean nodded, "'Kay Addy."

 

Adam sat Dean on the floor and yawned, then looked down to find that Dean hadn't moved. He was still standing there holding Chevy with a pout on his face.

 

"Um, can I help you?"

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "You gotta give me a good morning hug, Addy. Little brothers are 'a 'pose ta get good morning hugs from their big brother. It's my job, Sammy got one cause I’m his big brother and I’m yours to so you got to get one to. It's the rules."

 

Adam grinned as he leaned down and hugged Dean. He kind of liked this, he had never been told about the good morning hug rule for brothers. He had been the only kid when he was growing up, so he hadn't really had to follow the siblings rule.

 

Apparently, though, now that he had a four-year-old Dean to deal with that was going to change; to be honest, besides the early morning bed jumping wakeups he kind of liked this.

 

"Okay, go on downstairs and tell Bobby I'm coming," Adam said with a smile.

 

"You gotta hug Tevy to!"

 

Adam sighed, “Of course I do,” but hugged the bear for Dean.

 

 Dean had him so wrapped around his finger that it wasn't even funny.

 

Dean nodded and rushed to the door; he turned around and gave Adam a stern look- which was kind of funny of a kid Dean’s age.

 

"Who else do I have to hug?"

 

" ‘s not that, silly. You better not go back to sleep! Sammy tried that trick and I got to use da water gun Uncle Bobby gave me on him. I'll use it on you to Addy," Dean warned.

 

Adam threw his hands up, "I promise, I'm up and I'll be down in a few minutes."

 

Dean smiled, "'kay. Love you!"

 

"Love you to," Adam called back as the kid took off down the hallway.

 

Adam winced as he heard Dean squeal out "Cass," sounding more like a Siren then a little boy. Adam knew one thing for sure Dean had one hell of a set of pipes.

 

Adam flopped back on his bed and pulled the blankets up over his head with a groan.

 

He closed his eyes and thought back to the water gun thing- he made a mental note to hide it once he found it if Sammy hadn't already done just that.

 

 

 

// * \\\

 

 

 

Dean grinned as Castiel appeared at the bottom of the stairs almost instantly, looking a little startled.

 

"Dean?"

 

Dean grinned and waved as he quickly to make his way down the stairs- well as quickly as his little legs could go without tripping him down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom he smiled up at the winged man. Dean could see Cass's wings twitch slightly, catching the sunlight shining through the small window of the front door. Dean watched as the light made the dark wings look like a rainbow for a second.

 

 

Dean smiled as he heard Mikie whispered the word inside his head.

 

Mikie talked in his head a lot, he’d whisper things to Dean that made everything make sense- like when Dean had woken up without Mommy or Daddy around. Mikie had told him that it would be okay, that Sammy and his new little brother Adam would keep him safe. He’d also said that Dean had to keep Cass safe- he’d told him to keep an eye on the other winged man.

 

Mikie had said that Cass was sad, because his big brothers were being mean to him. Dean had pinkie swore not to let Cass’s big brothers bully him.

 

Dean didn’t like bullies and he wouldn’t let them hurt his Cass.

 

Cass tilted his head to the side looking down at Dean. He kind of looked like a puppy, a puppy with pretty wings.

 

Dean liked Cass’s wings, they were pretty just like Mikie’s were- he really wanted to touch them and could to if Cass let him.  Mikie had told him, though, that not all the winged-people liked to have their wings touched, he would have to ask him first because it would be rude to touch them without asking.

 

Dean didn’t want to be rude.

 

"Mourning, Cass," Dean chirped happily, "me and Uncle Bobby made pancakes. I even made one really big one special for you- it’s got chocolate chips in it. You do like pancakes, right? Uncle Bobby said you would, he said that-"

 

"Dean is everything alright? I heard you yell for me, but I don’t sense anything wrong,” Castiel broke in, “are you hurt?”

 

Dean grinned and shook his head, "Every things fine silly! I called you ‘cause it's breakfast time! You gotta eat breakfast with me Cass, ‘cause I helped Bobby make pancakes! I made you a special one, to, so you gotta eat it. Mommy said it’s not nice to waste food and Mommy is always right."

 

Cass cocked his head to the side, "Pancakes?"

 

Dean nodded his head vigorously then grabbed Cass's hand and pulled him along.

 

"Yup, we gots pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Bobby gots apple juice too, but only da little boxes, but that's okay cause they're still really good. It’s hard to get the straws into the little holes, though. Sammy got mad at snack time yesterday ‘cause he couldn’t get his straw in the hole. Uncle Bobby had to help him, I got mine in though and Addy’s to, ‘cause big brothers are a’ppose to help little brothers."

 

"Dean, I don't usually eat pancakes-" Cass started but Dean cut him off.

 

"That's cause you ain't eaten me and Bobby's pancakes! They are da best and Uncle Bobby puts whipped cream and strawberries on 'em if you say pretty please. You can sit with me and Tevy and try some of ours and I ask Uncle Bobby to put some whipped cream on yours to. I put a lot of syrup on mine, they are always really good with a lot of syrup! They’re messy though, but that’s okay, Uncle Bobby doesn’t get mad about it."

 

Castiel was in wonder at just how fast and how much this version of Dean could talk. Castiel was slightly worried that Dean would pass out from lack of oxygen if he didn’t take a breath soon.

 

Castiel was a little confused as to when exactly Dean had started just calling him to attend meals? Maybe that was something that only this version of Dean did?

 

"Cass?"

 

Castiel looked down at Dean. He had zoned out slightly and possibly missed a few of Dean’s random topics.

“I’m sorry what did you say, Dean?”

 

"I said that your wings are really pretty when the look all rainbow colored,” Dean answered looking down at his feet and fidgeting slightly, “I wanted to know if I touch ‘em?"

 

Castiel jumped a bit at that, he actually felt his wings flex at that question. It wasn't something that got asked a lot. Angels' wings were sensitive in all aspects, depending on the emotions felt by who was touching them, an Angel could feel any type of emotion of the person touching them.

 

Their wings were like a raw nerve.

 

Also, as uncomfortable as it made Castiel to admit, at times if someone that the Angel found suitable for a mate touched them- well it cause issues of a sexual nature. Castiel had had one or two accidental brush-bys with the older Dean that had left him hot and bothered.

 

It had been very frustrating.

 

He knew that little Dean would never cause such a reaction so it wasn’t because of that reason that Castiel was slightly taken off guard- it was mostly due to that fact that Dean could actually see them. There was the simple fact that humans were not supposed to be able to see an Angel's wings as anything more than maybe a trick of the light.

 

Dean, though, had called them pretty, and actually looked straight at them. He could even see the colors that reflexed off of Castiel’s raven black wings.

 

Did Michael's influence have something to do with that?

 

Was his brother's grace opening his Dean’s eyes to things that no average person could see?

 

Castiel stopped abruptly as he realized the thought that had just went through his head.

 

His Dean?

 

When had that come into play? When had he finally slipped into that state of mind?

 

                When had Castiel started claiming Dean as his own?

 

Castiel looked down at Dean; the little boy was precious to him, so very precious, but when had his feelings for the adult version of this human changed so drastically.

 

"Cass?”

 

Dean’s voice snapped him from his thoughts, the tone of it sounded vastly different from the excited voice he had heard moments before.

 

"Hmm?”

 

"After breakfast are you gonna leave?"

 

Castiel caught the worried tone in the little boy's voice. Obviously Dean didn't want him to go anywhere which in turn assured him that he should not go anywhere.

 

"I do not believe that I have to. I do not have any more leads to follow up on about the Hag, so I am free to stay here. Why do you ask?"

 

Dean grinned, "Cause Tevy and I want you to stay and play with us. We’re gonna play outside, and then we’re gonna draw, and then we’re gonna go help Bobby fix cars, and then we’re gonna play pretend."

 

Castiel smiled, Dean seemed so happy, so care free, he liked this. He really enjoyed being able to see Dean smile. He also really liked holding his hand. It made him feel more connected more loved, more important in his life.

 

Suddenly Dean came to a halt, causing Castiel to stumble a bit, he looked down to see Dean simply standing there, almost frozen.  Worry pulse through Castiel’s body, something looked strangely off about the boy. He looked the same but different as well.

 

There was something there just beneath the surface.

 

"Dean? Dean, are you alright?"

 

The little boy didn't respond, he just continued looking off into space, his eyes unfocused yet zeroed in on something that Castiel just couldn’t see. Castiel began to panic a bit, it was a strange sensation- like something was gripping tightly at his chest and twisting. He wasn't sure if Dean was slipping back into another memory or if it was something else.

 

"Dean?”

 

Castiel got to his knees next to Dean and tried to get him to look at him, but he wouldn't.

Castiel followed the direction of Dean's eyes only to find that Dean was staring up at a mirror. Castiel looked from Dean to the mirror but couldn't see anything. He couldn’t understand what held Dean’s hazy attention so tightly.

 

"Dean," he said as he shook the boy's shoulders a bit, trying to get him to look at him, "Dean I need you to tell me what's wrong. Dean? I cannot help you if you will not speak to-"

Castiel felt it, a sudden pressure that swept through him, it was like feeling just the barest hint of the grace of another Angel. It was a calming touch that ruffled Castiel’s feathers and took away the panic in his chest. Castiel’s body relaxed and he looked right into Dean’s eyes

 

Dean blinked once, breaking his trance like state, and locked eyes with Castiles. The small gasp slipped past Castiel’s lip without him even realizing it as he witnessed Dean’s eyes glow a bright green.

 

"Don't step on that fish Castiel," Dean whispered in a voice that didn’t quite sound like his own, "big plans for that fish."

 

Castiel's eyes widened and he felt his heart rate speed up. He remember hearing those words on a beach long ago from an Angel who he, at one time, would have done anything for.

 

"Michael?"

 

Dean shook his head and looked up at Castiel in confusion, "Cass?"

 

"Dean why did you just say that?"

 

"Huh? I didn't say anything. I was listening to Mikie, he was in the mirror talking to me," Dean explained.

 

"About what? What was he saying Dean?"

 

Dean smiled, "He said that you like fishies."

 

Castiel stood back up and looked back to the mirror- even though he knew that he wouldn't see Michael there. No it was only Dean that could see him and no one but Dean could hear him.

 

"Cass is something wrong? You look sad."

 

Castiel shook his head and gave Dean a smile, "No. Everything is fine, Dean, let’s go and eat some pancakes."

 

Dean smiled and nodded, "Kay Cass."

 

Castiel quietly followed Dean into the kitchen, thinking on what Dean had said. What did this mean for them? How did the appearance of Michael's soul, grace, and mind effect their situation?

 

Michael's soulless physical being was out there somewhere looking for them. Could having the mindless body's very essence actually draw him here? If so what would that mean for Dean?

 

As Michael had said, he and Dean were one. If Michael left what would happen to Dean?

 

Castiel would have to sit down at some point and figure this all out. He would have to find a way of speaking to Mikie. Maybe that could help Team Free Will- as Dean called them- in their fight. Maybe Michael knew where God was.

 

He hopped so, at least then he would have a lead whether his father wished to be found or not.

 

                                                                                //*\\\

 

 

Ellen and Jo arrived just a little after lunch; which was right in the middle of Dean trying to teach Castiel how to play pretend. Dean was so tied up in the in trying to explain to the very confused Angel how to play pretend that he completely missed their arrival.

 

Both Ellen and Jo were damn near in stitches at the sounds they heard coming from the living room.

 

The thing that got the girls laughing wasn't the fact that an almighty angel was currently at the mercy of a four-year-old and his teddy bear, no, it was the fact that said almighty angel was beyond clueless as to how to play pretend with said four-year-old.

 

"Cass! There aren't really any bad guys you silly!"

 

"But you said that-"

 

"It's pretend! You are supposed to pretend that there are bad guys, they are not for reals!"

 

"I don't understand this. Please explain this to me again."

 

They heard Dean heave a sigh and plop down on the old squeaky couch next to the angel.

 

"Okay! This is the last time," Dean started, "when you play pretend you have to use your imagination-"

 

Ellen and Jo's attention where then pulled back to Bobby, who was grinning like a fool.

 

"He's been trying to explain the process of pretend bad guys since after breakfast. Poor Cass just ain't getting it," Bobby chuckled.

 

"Seems like Dean is pretty dead set on playing teacher," Ellen chuckled.

 

"Yeah, you should have seen him trying to teach Cass how to play hide and seek," Bobby chuckled, "funny as hell."

 

"I'll bet," Ellen chuckled, "Say, where's the other two?"

 

"Sam's in the library and Adam, well that boy is off probably trying to sleep. Dean seems to think that naps are just as ungodly as they come," Bobby chuckled.

 

"Poor Adam," chuckled Jo.

 

Bobby grinned, "Yeah-"

 

Bobby was cut off as the sound of something crashing in the living room.

 

"Cass! You weren't a' pose to knock it over!"

 

"But I thought you said that-"

 

"It's pretend! Now Sammy's is gonna put us in time out!"

 

"What is time out?"

 

Bobby rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 

"I'm too old for this mess," Bobby huffed, "come on might as well let the idjits know that you two are here and make sure that Dean and the Angel ain’t broke anything cursed or dangerous."

 

Ellen and Jo followed Bobby into the living room and came upon the sight of Dean trying to pick up scattered research papers. Castiel was standing rather clueless next to the TV holding Chevy.

 

He looked over as they entered the room then turned back to Dean.

 

"Dean, Jo and Ellen are here," Castiel informed the small boy.

 

Dean whipped around with the biggest of grins on his little face. Ellen and Jo smiled back, both realizing that Dean was one of those kids whose smile lit up rooms and whose grin was contagious.

 

"ELLEN! JO!"

 

Dean ran full force to Ellen and latched onto her leg happily, she laughed as the little boy looked up happily at her.

 

"Well hey there Dean," Ellen chuckled.

 

"Ellen! I missed you!"

 

"Hey what about me?"

 

"I missed you to Jo! I gots something to show ya! Cass, bring Tevy here pretty please!"

 

Jo watched as Castiel obediently walked over and hand the bear to Dean.

 

"Thank you!"

 

"You’re welcome Dean," Castiel replied with a small smile gracing his lips.

 

It was obvious that Castiel was enjoying the 'thank you's' from Dean. He didn't really receive that many from the older version after all.

Jo took notice of Castiel smiling at Dean fairly quickly. She couldn’t really remember a time when Castiel had ever really smiled at anyone else.

 

"Jo?"

 

Jo looked down and smiled at Dean, he was just too cute to handle. His freckles, pale skin, dirty blonde hair, and adorable as hell green eyes were just too cute.

 

"What is it sweetie?"

 

"Look! This is Tevy, he's my bestest friend, Mommy gave him to me and I named him after Daddy's car because Daddy's car is really cool and so is Tevy," Dean rambled happily.

 

Bobby interrupted him as he noticed Castiel frown, "I thought Cass was your best friend, Dean."

 

Dean stopped and looked back at Castiel then at Bobby, "But Cass isn't my bestest friend."

 

Jo and Ellen saw Castiel's smile drop, they knew that hearing Dean say that had hurt the angel.

 

Poor guy.

 

"Dean, that's not nice," Ellen scorned.

 

Dean frowned, "But he's not. I heard Addy tell Sammy that I was sweet on Cass. Mommy told me that when you’re sweet on someone that means you really like them and that means that Cass is my boyfriend. Addy also said something about us getting a room but I already gots a room. It can be Cass’s room to, we can share it. I can even share my toys, but he can’t have my Batman sleepy clothes because those are mine and Cass is too big and he’ll rip ‘em."

 

Everyone went silent, Castiel's cobalt blue eyes went impossibly wide and he actually blushed. Jo and Ellen looked over at Bobby speechlessly.

 

Bobby was the first to break the silence.

 

"ADAM! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"

 

Dean jumped as Bobby yelled then his lip began to tremble as they all heard the loud thud of someone falling to the floor in the library. Sam and Adam came running down the hallway. Adam had the imprint of blue paper lines on his face.

Apparently he had decided to hide in the library where Sam had banned Dean from going.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"What's going on?"

 

Dean looked around then rushed over to Castiel's side he took the angel's hand and clung to it, hiding slightly behind his leg. Dean didn't seem to like loud noises much.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Cass, Bobby scared me," Dean whimpered as he pressed his face against the angel's over coat.

 

"Oh hell kid, I didn't mean to scare ya," Bobby gave an apologetic look to the little boy, "forgive me please?"

 

Dean smiled and nodded, "Okay Bobby. No more loud noises though please."

 

"Deal," Bobby assured the little boy before turning back to Adam.

 

Adam saw the look he was getting and fought the urge to hide behind Sam.

 

"Um, is something wrong?"

 

Bobby looked over at Dean, "Dean please tell Adam what you were just telling us."

 

Dean smiled and clung happily to Castiel.

 

"I told them that I heard you say that Cass was my boyfriend and that we should get a room. I told Bobby that Cass could share mine if he wants to."

 

"Oh man I didn't know that he was listening," Adam said with a blush.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

Everyone looked down at Dean, who was now confused.

 

"Nothing sweetie," Ellen sighed, "Bobby is just worried that you might have heard something that's a little too grown up for you to understand."

 

Dean frowned and looked up at Castiel then looked back at the others in the room.

 

"Huh? What do you mean?"

 

Sam took over, "Well Dean, you see Cass can't be your boyfriend- um well because he’s an adult and he might not be gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay it's just at such a young age you really shouldn't have to-"

 

"What's gay?"

 

"It's um when a boy loves another boy," Sam explained.

 

Dean smiled, "Oh. Then I am gay!"

 

Jo burst into giggles, Ellen smirked, and the men in the room blushed.

 

"I don't think you understand the full concept there," Adam assured.

 

"What do ya mean?"

 

"Dean, gay is when you don't like girls. It's when you would rather be with a boy," Sam explained.

 

Dean smiled, "I don't like girls. I like Jo, and Lisa, and Ellen, and Mommy but other girls are icky and mean. I don't like them, not really. Daddy says I’m a'ppose to like them so I play pretend. Like I was playing with Cass. I like Cass a lot though he makes me smile, ‘cause he's silly and nice and knows how to keep the monsters away. That's why Cass is my boyfriend."

 

Sam looked surprised at the little boy's admission; Dean would have never said something like that. His big brother had never mentioned liking guys. Dean had always been a pure ladies man, but then again maybe he did like guys.

 

Then things started to come back, once Sam really thought about. He remembered some of the things that Michael and Dean had talked about and he momentarily rethought a few things.

 

"Um Cass how do you feel about that?"

 

Castiel looked over at Sam in shock, "I am not entirely sure. Gender isn’t a very solid thing for Angels and really, neither is the concept of relationships, but I care for Dean and that will not change based on his gender or mine."

 

Ellen looked down at Dean and noticed that he was looking off toward the window; she looked toward it and saw nothing, then turned back to Dean.

 

"Dean? Sweetie what's wrong?"

 

Dean frowned; his eyes were starting to brim with tears. Ellen quickly reacted by rushing forward and picking the little boy up. She let his burry his face into her shoulder as he started to cry.

 

"Oh honey what's wrong? Don't cry sweetie," Ellen cooed slipping into mother mode.

 

Dean sniffled and turned his head so they could hear him, "The mean voice said I wasn't a'ppose to tell you that I don't like girls. It said that you guys won't love me no more."

 

Ellen felt her heart break a little she gently rocked Dean and assured the little boy that that wasn't the case at all.

 

"Dean, sweetie we'd love you no matter what. Don't you ever think otherwise," Ellen assured.

 

Dean sniffled and hugged Ellen's neck, "Daddy wouldn't love me no more."

 

"Your daddy would love you no matter what. He'd worry about you but that man loved you boys, even though he had a funny way of showing it."

 

"Sammy and Addy won't love me no more," Dean sobbed.

 

"What! No way, Dean you're our big brother we'd love you no matter what," Adam promised.

 

"Yeah. Dean you're like our hero! We could never hate you," Sam added.

 

“Like Batman?”

 

Sam chuckled, “Even better than Batman.”

 

Dean looked over at Bobby, "You still love me Bobby?"

 

"You bet kid," Bobby assured.

 

Ellen grabbed a tissue and gently wiped Dean’s face, she let Dean blow his nose before tossing the tissue and giving Dean a kiss on the forehead, “All better?”

 

Dean nodded and hugged Ellen’s neck, “All better.”

 

“Now, I don’t want you listening to any mean old voices. They aren’t right and you shouldn’t let them make you cry. You are loved so much and that won’t change no matter what. Understand?”

 

Dean nodded, “Yes ma’am.”

 

“Good.”

 

Dean nodded then reached for Castiel.

 

"I wanna go draw pictures with Cass," Dean said, “he can come and make the mean voice be quiet.”

 

“Of course I will. I will not let any mean voice harm you,” Castiel assured as he took the little boy in his arms. They left the room heading for the kitchen where Dean still had his colors laying out.

 

Ellen sighed and turned to the remaining people in the room.

 

"Well, that wasn't expected. Now you boys start by telling me everything from the beginning this time. I wanna know what has our little Dean gett’in himself all upset."

 

They all sat down and began talking.

 

                                                                                                             //*\\\

 

Castiel sat next to Dean watching him draw something.

 

"Cass?"

 

"Yes Dean?"

 

"Do you still love me?"

 

Castiel looked down at Dean and nodded.

 

"Yes I do Dean and I always will," Castiel assured the little boy.

 

“Good. I love you to, Cass.”


	8. Chapter 8

The first two things that Michael felt were pain and morbid sense of awareness that didn’t belong.

The pain Michael felt was from having his soul torn apart.

He felt his soul splitting from the whole being that Dean had become.

The feeling of being torn apart, of being left expose and incomplete, no other pain in the world could compare to it. One moment he was Dean living a life, just a human, and then suddenly he was torn away and had this entire other life that he’d lived once lives just crammed right back into a mind that was no longer made for that life. He wasn’t an Angel anymore, he was human, well not even that really. He was a fraction of a soul, a soul that had been bound together to make up one being. He was just a piece of that made Dean Winchester who he was.

The self-awareness was almost as bad as the pain of being torn away from the other part of his soul, he was himself but then again he wasn’t. Michael wasn’t really himself again, more like a shadow of what was, a piece of grace that had sparked back to life when the Hag’s spell had hit him.

He was like a reflection of someone, how ironic.

The distinction between his life as Dean and his life as Michael had hit him like freight train, memories that he’d given up when he’d purged his soul for the bonding came flooding back with a vengeance. The sensation of having an entire separate life time crammed into his head within seconds had left him more than a little out of it.

It had taken him a bit to figure out what was happening- mainly because he wasn't functioning at full speed, after all he had been ripped apart from a very important part of himself.

Eventually he had caught on to what was happening, after a few mild (read: extreme and excessive) panic attacks. Oh and there was the fact that he was currently trapped in a mirror world that was completely separate from the real world.

Yeah, it had taken him a few days of running at reflective surfaces at full speed only to bounce off of them to really cement the fact that he couldn’t just break out. Unfortunately, it had taken a few more attempts (he was extremely grateful that no one had been around to witness any of those attempts) with that method to realize that he could see and hear things going on in the outside world through the mirrors. He also found that he could move through any reflective surface at will and that if little Dean was in the room close enough to a reflective surface that he could connect with him.

He’d gotten lucky with that one.

Basically, after he’d face planted right into the wrong side of the TV- again. He’d hit hard enough with his face to wake catch Dean’s attention, the kid had seen him and laughed.

Yeah being laughed at by a kid who managed to see him looking like a dumbass was a pretty strong hit to his pride. It worked in his favor though he’d gotten Dean to tell him what was going on- well he managed to get the four year old version, but Dean did try and at least someone else knew that he was trapped in some kind of pocket space.

It sounded like a bad episode of Star Trek- thank Spock he wasn’t wearing a red shirt.

Michael had managed to do a little detective work- honestly, he’d just ease-dropped from every, and any shiny surface he could move through listening to Sam, Bobby, and Cass until he pieced things together.

There had been an incident in the bathroom at one point involving Sam…. Michael was pretty sure that not even bleach could make him un-see the things he had witnessed.

The horror.

Based on what he’d managed to piece together, he and Dean had gotten caught at the wrong end of a Hag's curse and their body had de-aged. The downside (incredibly horrible and worst possible scenario that had Michael all but shitting bricks) was that neither the Hag nor team free will knew (neither did Michael for that matter, because really? De-aging? What the hell?), that being de-aged would cause Dean’s soul to shatter in two.

Here he was, trapped while some Hag has gallivanting around screwing with little Dean’s head- whispering all kinds of shit to him that was tearing at the poor kid. He was going to have to get someone to pull him out of the damn mirror world, only problem was he didn’t exactly know how to go about doing that.

This was not a situation that had been planned out, there was not a plan B, for this sort of shit!

All things considering though, he was a Winchester, so really this shit shouldn’t have been this surprising. He’d been through a lot of weird shit- this just so happened to be a slightly newer version of weird shit.

He really was at a complete loss for ideas, that and the rather depressing reality of what this all could mean for him and Dean, if Sammy couldn’t use his freakishly large brain and nerd skills to figure all of this out before it was too late.

Dean’s body and soul had been thrown to far back, it had returned to that fragile state where most children’s souls weren’t set in stone. For most kids the soul was still just a little innocent spark that hadn’t yet began to solidify its hold on its body. Dean’s soul, however, was a very special case. Dean’s soul had been made missing pieces, there hadn’t ever been a complete little mushy spark in there to get molded into anything. He’d been born with a soul that was made to fit with another’s soul that fit those pieces just right, and Michael had made sure that his fit; but now those pieces were all scattered and putting them back together while they were under this curse wasn’t going to be easy.

It meant a lot of bad things for both of them- death not even being one of the worse.

Sure death was pretty high on that list, maybe like a three, but yeah there were about two other things before it that had it pretty much beat.

For Dean, it meant his soul was shattered, ripped apart, and missing a very important piece. It wouldn’t have been so bad if this had been the first time, if it had been the first time Michael would’ve been able to easily mold back with Dean once all of this Hag business was taken care of. The fact that this was not the first time but the second was what really had everything going to shit.

The pit had gotten a hold of Dean’s soul, and when it had sunk its teeth in it had really torn it apart. The pieces had been nearly impossible to stitch together again, everything that had made Dean had been nearly destroyed but then Castiel came along.

It had taken just the slightest touch of Castiel’s grace to bring the pieces together enough to slot back into place. Once they had Michael- well a small piece managed to bring together everything that Alistair had torn apart. He was that piece of left over grace that had managed to embrace Castiel’s grace and used it to entwine all the broken pieces back together. He was the small sliver of the being who was once Michael, which had tied everything back together and held it there.

Without him, the soul was splintered, it was left to decay and eventually wither into nothingness. Dean couldn’t continue to survive without that sliver there, helping hold his soul together and keep it firmly locked in place; eventually, if the Hag didn’t get him first, Dean would die and it wouldn’t be a pleasant death.

Now for Michael it meant Fate could easily rip him a new one and forcibly shove him back into his almighty Angelic Form just to have the grace he had purged devour all traces of the little sliver that Castiel’s grace had fed and nurtured. Then there was option two, which ended with no one finding him here and being stuck in the twisted little mirror world left to slowly rot away once little Dean died.

In either case they both ended up rotting away until nothing was left.

This whole situation left them both vulnerable and completely open to being taken over or devoured by anyone packing some serious mojo.

Like say a fucking bitchy Hag who had her mind dead set on making a nice little mean out of a certain little kid and the weak graced fallen angel attached to him.

Michael seriously hoped that Sammy and Adam would hurry up and gank this bitch.

Seriously, what the hell was taking them so long?

The sooner they got everything taken care of the sooner he’d be able to get out of this place and remerge with little Dean before they both faded away.

Michael rested his forehead against the cool glass barrier, he closed his eyes and let a shaky breath pass through his lips.  He felt exhausted, he felt as about as weak as a newborn kitten at this point. He hadn’t felt all that strong to begin with but he’d began to notice that he’d started to feel more drained the longer he was in the place and being separated from little Dean didn’t help things either.

These mirrors though, they were really running him ragged- especially with the tricks they would play on him.

Sometimes he’d be just sitting with down and watching Dean and Castiel through the mirrors and then he would blink. Somehow within that fraction of a second, the images of Castiel and Dean would disappear and Michael would be met with the briefest of glimpses of Angels or places from his past. Things that he’d let go of years ago, just teasingly flashing in short bursts in the mirrors before disappearing.

He wasn’t Michael anymore, not really, he hadn’t ever really been Michael. He’d been a part of the Archangel, a small part that had woken up to hold everything together. It hadn’t really help anything in the long run, sure he kept their soul stitched together but it was only a patch job. Once they’d gotten out of the Pit, another problem came barreling at them.

The patch job could only hold for so long and the strain it left on their body almost wasn’t even worth it. They’d been slowing down here and there, feeling more exhausted, losing focus, and just all out feeling like shit.

Michael opened his eyes and pushed off from the glass, letting out an annoyed huff as he did so.

“Son of a bitch,” he growled, “this fucking place is really screwing with my head. Of course it was worth it! I ain’t about to leave my little brothers or Bobby alone, those idiots can barely survived without me. Don’t even get me started on Cass, poor guy doesn’t even get how showers work most of the time. I’m Dean Winchester, damn it, and I’m not going be a sissy about this shit. I’ll find a way out.”

He kicked at the glass with his foot and glared at it.

“Screw you,” Michael growled, “I hope you have my face smudges till the end of time.”

Dear Father, if he ever got out of this hellhole he’d hate mirrors for the rest of his life. ‘If,’ was the key word in all of this, he didn’t even know how to get out of this place. Michael rubbed roughly at his eyes with the palms of his hand, then spun around and leaned back against the glass.

“This is such bullshit,” he grumbled as he slid down the glass wall until he was sitting with his legs sprawled out in front of him

He was fed up with all of this!

His head was killing him, his body ached, he was beyond frustrated, and all he want to do was just sleep.

Michael perked up suddenly as an idea hit him like a kick to the head.

Sleep!

That was how he’d get out of here!

Sleep, why hadn’t he thought of that sooner!

All he needed was a sleeping Angel and he could get out of here just like that.

Michael grinned like a maniac as he stumbled to his feet and rushed over to the small glass surface that over looked the stairs- he caught sight of Dean within seconds and tapped on the glass as hard as he could to get Dean’s attention.

If he could just get the kid’s attention, he might be able to get his help. He needed Dean to get Castiel to go to sleep and then hold a mirror or something reflective near him. Sure Michael couldn’t touch him but just being close to him would be enough to make his plan work.

He needed to be close enough to reach out for Cass’s grace, the same grace that who had woken him up with his grace. All he needed was to touch Cass’s grace and he’d be able to send out an SOS, basically meaning that he was going to call for the only Angel who he knew didn’t want to kill or use him- well he knew he didn’t want to use him for something crazy, the killing thing though might happen.

He’d was going to call out for Gabriel.

Oh boy, that was not a reunion that he was going to enjoy to much- they hadn’t parted on good terms.

Michael knew that there was a chance that Gabriel wouldn't even listen to the call, after all his little brother had cut himself off from Heaven and pretty much said that he didn't want anything to do with them or their angelica drama bullshit ever again.

It might not have been a promising option, but that was all he had.

Michael sighed and rubbed at his temples trying to fight off the approaching migraine. He fought to ignore it as he frantically tapped harder at the glass and began yelling.

It took a few seconds, but Dean finally looked his way, but right as Michael went to speak the mirror went cloudy and he knew exactly what was happening.

His head flared in pain and suddenly he felt himself link with Dean.

Memories, thoughts, and feelings whirled around frantically through Michael’s head. His knees buckled and he hit the ground hard- his hands pressed to his head and suddenly he felt like he was free falling.

He yelled out in fear and panic, and then as suddenly as it had started it was over.

The first thing to become clear to Michael was that he was kneeling in wet sand, the second was the smell of the ocean, and the third was that he knew this place- or a part of him knew this place.

Michael shakily got to his feet and looked around- the world around him looked almost primal.

It looked like it had never been touched by human hands.

Just like he remembered it.

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think so Castiel?”

Michael whipped his around, following the sound of his own voice, his heart stopped as he saw them standing not far from where he was, both standing with their wings resting behind them. Michael was saddened to find that with his humanized eyes, that he couldn’t see their heavenly forms- to his eyes all he saw before him was the younger form of Castiel’s current vessel and a slightly different version of Dean. He looked different yet the same, it was something that was hard for his mind to comprehend, it was a memory that he couldn’t grasp.

“This isn’t just a memory,” Michael whispered, “It’s more than that. It feels like more than just that.”

They took no notice of him, he didn’t really expect them to- he was only an observer watching a long since passed moment in time.

“Yes Sir, it is very lovely,” Castiel agreed in a very proper tone, “I am grateful that you chose to bring me a long to witness-“

The real Michael chuckled cutting in, “You don’t have to be so proper with me, little bird. I’m not Lucifer, I’m not going to bite your head off if you do not agree with me. What has gotten into you lately? You’ve never acted like this with me before. I’m almost hurt, I had hoped you would enjoy this outing.”

Castiel bowed his head, “I’m sorry, sir. You are an Archangel though, my better. I should being showing you more respect. I didn’t realize how disrespectful I was being until Zachariah told me that-”

“Don’t listen to Zachariah, little bird. I’ve noticed that when he opens his mouth nothing but nonsense and idiocy tends to trickle out,” Michael remarked, “humor him but if you are to listen to someone, listen to someone more like Anna or Balthazar- on second thought maybe just listen to Anna. Balthazar is a good angel but I’ve notice his taste are a bit more…let’s just say I do not enjoy the way he sometimes looks at you.”

Castiel cocked his head to the side, “How does he look at me?”

Michael went a little ridge, he averted his gaze from the younger angel- for once in his existence his was grateful that the lower orders of Angels couldn’t read the minds of the higher ranking Archangels. The thoughts that ran through his mind when the younger angel was by his side were less than purse- he’d already had a tongue lashing or two from Lucifer about thinking so loudly and crudely.

Gabriel’s teasing was even less tolerable, but no less true.

Michael wanted to say that he looked at the Castiel the same way that Michael himself did at times, but what came out of his mouth wasn’t those words. The words that came out were the exact ones that Lucifer had spoken to him more than a few times about Castiel.

“In ways one should not look at a fledgling,” Michael answered with a slight clench in his gut at the words that reflected upon his own self as well, “you are too young to be looked at in such a way.”

Castiel stood a little straighter his face flushed with color, “W-What? No! No, Balthazar would never look at me in such a way. His interests lie elsewhere as do mine. Why would you think that?”

“I simply feel that his intentions are less than honorable,” Michael admitted with a tight voice, “and I would rather not run the risk of you becoming his latest conquest. If he were to _set his interests on you_ and cause you harm in anyway, I believe my actions would be rather extreme and Father would be deeply disappointed if told I had ripped the wings from Balthazar’s back.”

Castiel seemed a little startled by Michael’s protective words and quickly jump to defend his fellow angel, “Michael! You cannot rip the wings from one of our brothers just because of me! That would cruel and you would never that cruel, you are to kind and gentle, also I would never wish for you to do something like that. Balthazar is my friend, he may be rather lewd at times but he would never do me any harm.”

Michael looked back to Castiel with a gentle smile, “Castiel, I have never been called a kind or gentle. I am Heaven’s sword, the one who smites all who oppose our Father, I am only father’s solider. If I have any kindness or gentleness it is only because of you. I would do so much to see that you are never harmed, little bird, and if anyone were to harm you I would bring down Heaven’s wrath upon them without a second thought. You are my little bird, and I will keep you safe.”

Michael gently brushed the tips of his wings against the tips of Castiel’s own wings. As the younger angel lowered his gaze to the ground, Michael’s eyes wonder to the sight of the black raven wings and stood in silent awe at how the wings stood out against his own faded white.

The younger angel’s wings were the darkest black he’d ever seen, upon a first glance they seemed like nothing special, but once you gave them a second glance that’s you could see that they held so many more colors in them than just black. When they caught the light they reflected colors that would almost glow- Michael had found himself more than once getting lost in counting all the colors that each feather could hold.

They seemed to be more expressive then most wings were, they gave away Castiel’s feelings in ways that his expressions never could. The little angel still held the gentle innocence of a growing fledgling, and Michael adored him to no end. As Gabriel had told him many times over, Castiel had him wrapped firmly around his finger and didn’t even know it.

He could never help himself when he was with Castiel, he’d always brush his wings against the young angel’s wings- just little touches, enough to satisfy the little pangs of want that would surface from the depths of Michael’s baser instincts.

The slightly feral parts that came from being a warrior angel- from being made to do nothing more than fight and defend.

All Michael truly wanted to do was run his fingers through those beautiful wings until he had the little angel purring for him.

“I will keep you safe to,” the sound of Castiel’s voice jerked Michael from his less than virtuous thoughts. He realized that he’d been stroking the tips of Castiel’s wings with his own longer than he’d meant to- he didn’t pull away though.

He didn’t really have the strength to at the moment.

He let his eyes roam over Castiel- the younger angel’s wings were puffed out and relaxing into the touch. Michael felt his body tense up as a sharp pang of something primal and possessive surged through him at the very sight of his little angel relaxing into his touch- he almost lost to it but quickly forced it back into the cage it had come from.

“What was that?”

He slightly hoped that Castiel didn’t hear the hoarseness that his voice carried.

“I said that I will keep you safe to,” Castiel repeated looking up and locking eyes with the Archangel, “I will protect you. I will be your shield, if I must. I will not let anything ever hurt you, because I want to be at your side always.”

Michael felt his heart soar, his wings puffed out before he could contain himself. He gently reached out and cupped Castiel’s cheek, stroking his thumb over the baby smooth skin there. Castiel’s beautiful blue eyes locked with his own with a stubborn intensity that held what he had said as an irrefutable truth. The little angel was a stubborn one, always sticking to whatever he had set his mind on. It was a quality that most angels found to be an irksome thing- Michael’s thoughts on that matter had changed the moment he had set his eyes on the little angel. Stubbornness, he now believed, could be a rather strong incentive to push one’s self toward something more.

“I am honored, little bird, to hear you say such things,” Michael admitted, “You are so very strong, little bird, but still too young for the hardships of battle. If I could help it, you would never set foot on a battle field. I’d keep you safely hidden away in Heaven, and never let your heart be hardened the horrors of war.”

Castiel leaned into the touch, his wings relaxing slightly, but his eyes still held a determination that refused to be ignored. That determination was just another thing he loved about Castiel.

“One day I’m going to be a strong warrior. I’ll fight hard and I’ll fight at your side always, even on the battle field. I refuse to be locked away in Heaven while you and your Garrison are off battling those hell spawns. I want to stay with you, Michael. Please do not tell me I cannot stay with you,” Castiel held so much determination that it almost frightened Michael.

He could never allow Castiel to fight at his side, never allow his darling little bird to see the battles that were hidden from the Heavenly host.

The battles that took place within the depths of hell where on light touched.

If it came down to keeping Castiel safe or keeping him by his side- as much as it would hurt Michael would choose to keep him safe, even if it meant turning him away.

Yes, Castiel was an angel- a servant of their Father- made to go into battle if told to do so, but Michael would never allow him to go into the battles that he fought.

They were kind words, but Castiel didn’t really understand the price that came with them.

Castiel had the potential to be a strong warrior but Michael would never allow him to be one of the few who followed him into battle. There was only a handful who fought by his side within the Pit, only a handful who could handle such horrors, and he would not allow Castiel to be one of those few.

Michael had always kept a rule that he would only ever take as few angels with him as he could and even then they were only angels that he had handpicked. He never enjoyed having anyone follow him into the Pits, the battles that they had to endure to reinforce the sigils that kept the darkness locked away where always bloody and less than half of the angels he had entered with would make it back.

There were times when Michael himself didn’t believe that he would make it back but when he would he always feel disgusted with himself and hollow in a way that left him numb to everyone and everything for days or even months.

He could never force Castiel to live with that, to suffer through the fear and pain of not knowing if he would survive or bit ripped to shreds at the hands of a demon within the Pit. The very idea of Castiel going into battle with him left him feeling fear so immense that it almost brought him to his knees.

His heart ached at the very idea of it, the thought of a life without Castiel was not one that he could handle.  He would first fall upon his own sword than live a life like that.

It was because of all of that, that Michael had never even considered courting another.

He was the sword of heaven, the soldier who fought to keep the order of things- he could never allow himself to fail his father or his brethren.

A sword had no heart, but Michael did and it belong to Castiel completely.

To have Castiel next to him in battle would only end badly. He would be distracted, unable to focus on anything other than his little bird, and with his mind focusing solely on that he had no doubt that he would lose every battle he face.

He loved Castiel with all his heart and that was why one day he would have to turn his little bird away. It would break his heart, but when the time came, he would turn Castiel away without a thought to keep him safe.

He would rather have Castiel alive and hating him, than dying in his arms on a hellish battlefield.

Better to be alone forever than to suffer the pain of losing someone he loved.

It was the reason that he had always kept his heart hidden away behind a smirk and a wisecrack.

Castiel’s words were kind, but Michael could never allow them to be anything other than just pretty words.

Michael lean down and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s forehead, then pulled back and smiled at the flustered look on the younger angel’s face. He lied through his teeth with only the thought of keeping his dear Castiel safe.

“I will never tell you that you cannot stay with me, little bird,” Michael lied with words that held no hint of the lie behind them, “I do not believe I could ever tell you such a thing.”

Castiel surprised the Archangel as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around him tightly, pressing his face into Michael’s chest and wrapping his wings around him. Michael reacted almost instantly, wrapping his arms tightly around Castiel’s shoulders, pulling him close and encircling him within his wings. He felt the fledgling relax in his arms and a feeling of calm washed over him. Michael sighed happily as his kissed the top of Castiel’s head- he had never felt this calm before, it was as though he no longer wished to feel the sensation of a sword in his hand.

All he wanted and all he would ever want, was to hold on tightly to Castiel.

He could almost convince himself that he could.

“Are we interrupting something?”

Michael went ridged again, his eyes catching sight of his brothers and suddenly he found his calmness shattered. His wings drew away from Castiel and flared out around him, showing his annoyance to his brothers, Lucifer simply rolled his eyes. He heard Castiel let out a surprised chirp and try to pull away but he held on a few seconds longer, not wanting to lose the calmness or the touch.

“I believe the little one wishes to be let go now, brother,” Lucifer pointed out with a smirk on his face. Raphael stood just behind him looking less than pleased, while Gabriel stood to the right fixing a glare that matched Michael’s own on Raphael and Lucifer.

Michael sighed as slowly let go of the fidgeting angel, he shot his brothers a look that would’ve left lesser angel cowering where they stood.

His brothers Raphael and Lucifer had changed so much since Gabriel had delivered Father’s announcement, they’d become colder and cruel toward Michael as well as others. They had taken to arguing with their brothers, speaking snide remarks that hurt almost as bad as physical blows, and causing trouble where ever they went.

They had become so cruel and angry toward Gabriel and Michael himself.

He’d never seen them act in such ways, and where he once had so much patience with them, he now could barely hold his temper at bay. Every action they took or words they spoke set him on edge and left him fuming.

Their recent actions toward Castiel had left him so furious that he had almost come to blows with them, it had only been thanks to his baby brother Gabriel that Michael hadn’t released his full anger on the two.

He would never deny Gabriel anything.

Once upon a time he would have never denied Raphael or Lucifer anything either, but it seemed that that time had passed.

Castiel spun around, his body tensed up and his wings drawling in tightly around his body, Michael knew that Castiel was frightened of Lucifer and Raphael after their last meeting.

The end result of their actions toward the little angel had been Michael holding them both by their throat with Gabriel and Castiel pulling at his arms begging for him to stop.

He almost hadn’t been able to.

“Raphael, Gabriel, Lucifer, I-I did not know that you all would be joining us,” Castiel sputtered as his face paled visibly.

Raphael eyed the younger angel with his brow raised and look of disapproval on his face, “It would seem so, with the way you were latching on to our brother.”

Michael watched as Castiel lowered his gaze, almost looking ashamed. The sight alone drew a feral growl out of Michael, his wings flexed showing his feelings toward Raphael’s words and his hands clenched into fist.

He wouldn’t let Raphael speak to Castiel in that tone, he wouldn’t allow anyone to.

“Michael,” Gabriel cautioned.

Michael relaxed his stance, feeling ashamed for placing that uneasiness within Gabriel’s eyes.

“Ignore him, little bird. The things I spoke of about Zachariah pertains to Raphael as well,” Michael remarked as he relaxed his wings.

Castiel looked up at Michael a bit startled and spoke in a voice that almost sounded scolding, “Michael, don’t say such things, he is your brother. Please do not fight with them.”

Michael sighed, “Yes, but he is also a headache. I will not allow those two brats to bait me into an argument, if they wish to have my attention so badly they should learn to go about it in a less childish way.”

“How rude,” Raphael huffed.

Gabriel’s laughter momentarily brought a smile to Michael’s face, his youngest brother could always bring a smile to his face- at one time so could Lucifer or Raphael, but those times had passed.

“Don’t be like that, brother dearest,” Lucifer pouted, “He was only poking a bit of fun at the little angel. You shouldn’t shelter him so, criticism is important to a growing fledgling.”

“That may be, but I believe it would be far better for us all if Raphael were to hold his tongue, someone might find his words a bit harsh and take rather rash actions toward him.”

“Someone seems to be in a rather sour mood,” Raphael grumbled.

“I wonder who could have caused that,” Gabriel remarked frowning at Raphael.

“Who indeed,” Raphael replied.

“Stop your bickering, little brothers. Michael thinks us so childish already, let’s further those ideas,” Lucifer taunted.

“If you do not enjoy my words then perhaps you should leave. Come to think of it I do not recall asking any of you to join us on this outing in the first place,” Michael all but growled.

“I do not recall asking to be invited,” Lucifer pointed out, “nor do I remember needing one.”

“I tried telling them not to cause any problems,” Gabriel sighed, “but you know how these two are. So nosy and never listening to reason. I’m sorry Michael.”

Michael gave Gabriel a smile, “It is not your fault, little brother. Recently, Lucifer and Raphael have been rather… adamant about doing as they please.”

Lucifer shrugged, “Why whatever are you talking about, big brother?”

Michael glared at Lucifer, his brother simply smiled back in a way that set Michael on edge.

“Lucifer,” Michael warned.

“Yes big brother?”

Castiel seemed to sense the tension in the air, he took a few steps back catching the other angels’ attention- Castiel cringed slightly as all eyes locked on him.

“Perhaps I-I should leave,” Castiel stammered as he stumbled backwards.

“Perhaps you should,” Lucifer agreed.

Michael could see the jealousy in his brother’s eyes and it stunned him.

Was his little brother so jealous for his older brother’s attention to be on another?

Did his brothers truly hate the idea of him finding someone who made him happy?

“I am sorry,” Castiel choked, “I will leave. I am sorry for my actions, Michael. Thank you for inviting me to come along with you but I believe that I am intruding.”

Michael felt his heart break a little, as he turned toward Castiel.

“Castiel, wait,” Michael urged, “you do not have to leave or apologize. You are not at fault for anything nor are you intruding. I asked you to be here, if anyone is intruding it is Lucifer and Raphael. Please just stay, I will send them away and-”

“Why must we be sent away? We are your brothers,” Lucifer snapped, “and he is no one! We were long before him!”

Michael was taken back at Lucifer’s words, he turned around but kept Castiel’s hand in his own.

“Are you such a child that you cannot stand the idea of my every attention not being on you? Must you break others down just because you cannot stand to be ignored?”

“I simply do not enjoy being second to a mere fledgling,” Lucifer growled.

“Lucifer,” Gabriel snapped, “stop it!”

“He is right, we are treated as though we mean less to him and that little fledgling means more. We are his brothers,” Raphael snarled.

“Raphael, don’t,” Gabriel pleaded.

Rage filled Michael, anger that he’d only known in the heat of battle.

His tongue and anger got away from him and he spoke without fear of consequence.

“Watch you tongues when speaking about Castiel, brothers,” Michael growled in a voice that caused all three of his brothers’ face to pale, “or I will remove those tongues without any remorse. I’m not one who you should bother so insistently, I can only keep my temper at bay for so long when such spoiled brats test me. You both should know better than to tempt fate, little brothers.”

“Michael,” Castiel’s small voice broke through the red haze that filled Michael vision, “j-just let me leave.”

Michael turned his back to his brothers and gently raised Castiel face, he frowned as he saw the glistening of unshed tears in those eyes.

All at once his anger left him entirely, he felt as though his entire being had deflated in on itself.

“I am sorry, my little bird,” Michael whispered.

“Michael!”

Michael looked over his shoulder at the sharp tone of Lucifer’s voice, without the anger clouding his mind he saw his brother’s in almost a different light. He saw the fear in Gabriel, the loneliness in Raphael, and the feeling of abandonment the seemed to come off of Lucifer in waves.

He felt saddened for them and quieted all the anger he’d felt, letting his lover for them push his anger back within his cage.

He felt tired, like he was weighted down, he was certain that it reflected within his entire being, because all of the nervousness, anger, and jealousy that had seemed to swirl around his brothers dissipated.

“Michael,” Lucifer began with concern.

“Please leave,” Michael sighed, “I will speak with you all later. Right now, please just leave.”

He caught the way his brothers shifted in unease, he caught the slight hurt written in Lucifer and Gabriel’s eyes as well as the hint of guilt shining through in Raphael’s as well. Michael didn’t let those looks deter him, but they did leave a sharp sense of guilt eating at him.

He just didn’t want to fight with them anymore.

“Fine, we’ll leave you alone with your fledgling” Lucifer snapped suddenly.

He left with a frenzied sound of flapping wings.

Lucifer’s words left Michael feeling selfish.

Selfish for wanting Castiel.

Selfish for wanting to have a life outside of his family and duty.

Selfish for wanting to be something other than just a weapon.

Raphael looked ashamed of himself as he followed after Lucifer with this head lowered but without a word. Gabriel was the last to leave, looking more than a little hurt, it pained Michael to see him that way.

“Sorry Michael, they don’t mean to act the way they are acting” he mumbled as he left.

Michael sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, knowing he would all but beg for their forgiveness later- he hated fighting with his brothers.

He couldn’t stand the wedge that had been grown between all of them.

“You shouldn’t have snapped at them like that, over me,” Castiel said in a small voice, “You didn’t have to send them away, I could have left.”

Michael turned back to Castiel and shook his head, “They should not have acted that way and neither should I. They have never been unkind like that before, things have changed recently and it has caused strain on our bonds. I apologize for their actions as well as my harsh tone.”

Castiel shrugged, “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

“But I do,” Michael insisted, “they were rude and I was no better for bickering with them in front of you like that. You must think I am a horrible older brother.”

Castiel shook his head, “Of course I do not! You are to the greatest older brother, I have seen how wonderfully you treat your younger brothers. You treat them as though they are the most precious beings in your life.”

Michael smiled at Castiel’s kind words, “I wish to treat you the same, if you would allow it.”

Castiel blushed a dark red and turned his head to the side, “I am merely an angel. A simple thing. There is nothing precious about me.”

“Oh but there is so much precious about you,” Michael promised as he leaned forward.

“I-I,” Castiel stuttered as he went to take a step backwards.

Michael caught his arm and pulled him forward a bit, his s.

“Michael-” Castiel began wishing to say something but unable to fully grasp the words. Michael spoke up first, causing the words to die in Castiel’s throat.

“Careful Castiel,” Michael spoke, “you almost stepped the reason I brought you here.”

Castiel tilted his head in confusion, “What?”

“Turn around and look down,” Michael explained.

Castiel turned and looked down, his eyes widened and his voice caught in his throat as he watched a little grey fish heave itself from the waves that lapped at the shore near his feet.

“Michael, that’s-” he said in awe as he leaned back against the archangel. Michael wrapped his arms around Castiel from behind and leaned down to rest his chin atop the smaller angel’s shoulder.

“Don’t step on that fish, Castiel,” Michael whispered into his ear softly causing Castiel to shiver as Michael’s warm breath caressed his ear, “Big plans for that fish.”

Castiel chuckled, “Thank you for this, Michael.”

“Anything for you, my little bird.”

The feeling of falling came back over Michael, the world around him faded, and soon he found himself back locked behind a world of mirrors. His chest ached and he noticed that the world around him was blurred by tears welling up in his eyes.

He took a shuddery breath and wiped furiously at his eyes, it took a moment to compose himself. Once Michael managed to get his head back in the game hi looked back through the glass only find that he had missed his chance as Castiel and Dean entered the kitchen.

He cursed to himself as he slammed his fist against the glass.

“Son of a bitch,” he growled.

The only option he had right now was knocking Castiel out, which was not something he would enjoy. He would have to get the angel close enough to a reflective surface for him to touch the other’s grace. He would have to disrupted Castiel’s grace with a little push of his own, overload it a bit.

Michael sighed as he tried thinking of something else, he didn't want to knock the angel out. The very idea of harming Castiel in anyway had Michael’s gut clenching, but without a bit of strong grace he wouldn’t be able to call out to the one angel that could help him.

Michael quickly walked over to another part of the wall of glass, it was the glass of a picture frame that hung in the kitchen this time. He had a perfect view of the kitchen table where Castiel and Dean sat, the child was coloring away and the angel was watching him silently.

Michael watched as Dean's picture began to look an awful lot like a stick person in a trench coat with a smaller stick person handing him a heart. Michael was going to take a wild guess and say that maybe, just maybe, that was them giving Cass a heart.

Michael grinned, so apparently the crush on Castiel wasn’t just a leftover emotion from Michael.

That was something he'd enjoy up until the part where he became the old Dean Winchester again, because for some damn reason whenever he became the inability to admit feelings for others out loud was something they struggled with in any life they lived.

Michael had no idea why but that was just how he - or they- or however you'd explain what he and the human version of his grace were- acted like.

Maybe it had something to do with their fathers. John Winchester was a hard ass who was as stubborn as they came and God-well he wasn't so peachy either.

Michael knew that as soon as he was whole again, as soon as he was Dean Michael Winchester again, that he would deny like hell that he liked Cass in anyway.

He was terrified of love.

He had his reasons of course, he just couldn't handle the memories of those reasons right now.

"What are you drawing?"

"It's a surprise," Dean said.

"For who?"

"Can't tell you," Dean sighed, "it would ruin the surprise."

Castiel nodded, "Alright."

Wow, real heart felt moment there.

Note to self, someone has got to fix his personality.

"Hey Cass?"

"Yes?"

"I think that something is wrong," Dean said.

Michael suddenly felt it to, like something cold and dark was gripping his chest and clouding his mind.

"What do you mean?"

The little boy frowned and sat his crayons down, he looked directly up at Michael that blinked before he looked off toward the window. Michael knew instantly that the kid was feeling the same things that he was.

Michael craned his neck trying to see what was causing the feelings washing over them, he already knew what it was though even before he caught sight of her.

It was only a quick glimpse but he saw her there.

It was the Hag- in his form.

It looked off, the wings that he had looked- rotted?

No wonder Dean thought his wings didn't look good anymore.

Michael felt panic rise up in his stomach, that was the bad thing about being human, the human’s responses to certain things.

"No! Shit! Dean! Dean that's not me! DEAN!"

"Dean?"

"Huh?"

"What is wrong?"

Dean sighed, "Nothing, Mikie is just mad at me."

"Why?"

"Cause, I wasn't a'pose to tell that I like you," Dean answered.

Michael felt sick, that wasn't true, and he would never say something like that. Back before they had merged together he had whispered more times than could count telling Dean to tell his family.

He knew it had hurt the kid to lie to his brother and father about it.

Fourteen had been when they had become one, when all outside thoughts that either of them had before had ceased to be and had become one collective thought.

There were no memories of Heaven, no knowledge of angels, no memory of anything that could have ever suggested a split person.

Dean only knew of Mikie the imaginary friend who turned into some strange coping mechanism and then went away once he had gotten older.

Michael shook his head, he wished that he could get out of this damn mirror world and talk with Dean. He didn't want the kid to be upset.

In some twisted way Michael knew that Dean had all of his insecurities.

He knew that the kid needed to feel protected, that he needed love, and that he needed someone to be there to talk with him.

In short, Dean needed him and he needed Dean.

It was a codependent relationship.

An extremely strong one.

"Dean, I'm sure that Mikie isn't as mad as you think," Cass assured.

Michael smiled- Cass always seemed to think better of him, even now with all that had happened in their past. Cass seemed to believe that Michael wasn't entirely the bad guy.

"I'm not really the bad guy," Michael mumbled, "that thing trying to get to Dean is just a celestial being, a mass of left over energy that knows how to fight. He's not me Cass. That Michael running around isn’t me."

Michael knew that Castiel couldn't hear him.

He knew it and yet it still hurt whenever Cass didn't look his way.

Michael watched as Dean shrugged, "I don't know, maybe not, but Mikie is acting all funny. His wings aren't pretty anymore."

"Really? What do they look like?"

"They look gross," Dean answered bluntly.

"What do you mean?"

"They look all rotten," Dean said, "I don't like them."

Cass seemed to take this all into consideration; Michael knew that he honestly didn't know what to think about that. He wished that he could tell Cass what was going on.

If he could just find a reflective surface close enough then he could contact him.

Michael quickly around and noticed the only object close enough was the metal on the table legs.

That was going to be awkward.

The only way to contact Cass was through molesting his leg.

Well not really but considering that his crotch would be at eye level it was almost the same thing.

"Damn it, the things I have to go through," Michael grumbled.

Michael stepped back from the reflective surface before him, he stepped back into the dark void that was mirror purgatory, and then tried to focus on finding the reflective surface closest to Cass.

The image of a leg came into view; Michael silently prayed that it was Cass's leg, otherwise he would be mentally scarred for a while.

"Alright let's see what I can do."

Michael stepped up as close as he could the image before him and listened quietly.

"Do you think Sammy and Addy are mad at me?"

"No, I don't think that they are," Michael heard Cass answer.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Cass answered.

Michael smiled, Cass might not realize it but he did have a rather strong compassionate streak. His little bird might have changed so very much from the soft, expressional, little angel he’d once known, but there were times that the old Castiel would shine through.

"That's my boy," Michael chuckled.

Michael closed his eyes and focused on reaching out for Cass's grace. He took a deep breath and pushed as hard as he could with his remaining grace.

Michael opened his eyes as he felt the barrier between him and Cass start to liquefy.

He slowly pushed his hand through until it made contact with Cass's leg. Michael felt the younger angel stiffen, and he quickly made his move.

He could feel Cass slowly falling asleep.

Michael slowly slipped into Cass's subconscious, making sure not to alarm the angel.

Michael quietly made his way in and made sure he didn't do any damage.

Michael smirked as he found himself standing inside Cass's grace point.

The grace point was like a room, somewhere where the angel could separate themselves from the vessel's soul completely. It would usually be a calming place that the particular angel found comforting. In this case it was a motel room, one that looked like one of the many that Castiel had stay in with Dean and Sammy.

He could hear waves crashing outside, seagulls, and the smell of the sea filled the room. It made his heart ache a little with the memories it brought to mind.

"Well damn," Michael chuckled.

"Dean?"

Michael turned around to find Cass standing by an open window, he caught himself full on smiling at the sight- he could see just over the angel’s shoulder a beach outside the window.

"You'd be half right there, Cass," Michael chuckled.

"What?"

"I'm a piece of Dean; well honestly I'm all of Dean if you want to get technical about it. I mean Dean is me, but I’m only a fraction of-" Michael stopped and sighed, "okay I'm confusing myself. Let's just say, I'm sort of Michael right now, but as soon as we kill the Hag and break this curse I'll be Dean again."

Cass cocked his head to the side and Michael smirked, it was that award winning Winchester smirk. It seemed to calm Cass down.

"You look just like Dean," Castiel pointed out.

Michael nodded, "I know, that's because well I am Dean. I’m a leftover piece of Michael’s grace, that you woke up when you pulled me or well Dean from the pit. I’m basically the thread holding Dean’s shattered soul together, so I’m not really Michael- I, um just took the form of him when the Hag whammed Dean."

"I see," Castiel replied.

Michael grinned, "Really? Cause I gotta be honest I'm confused as hell. I mean, sure I get most of it but saying it out loud is like trying to figure out the crazy ass plotline in that Lost TV show that Adam likes so much."

Michael caught the confused look on the baby angel's face and chuckled.

"Never mind Cass," Michael sighed, "let’s just say I'm a little lost on the subject myself."

"Why are you here?"

Michael, by this time, had thrown himself onto one of the beds and was flipping through the channels on the television. He smirked as he noticed the Dr. Sexy was on half the channels.

"Michael?"

"Hm?"

"Why and how are you here?"

"Well as for why, little me is in trouble. I think the Hag-bitch is impersonating me. For the how, I was trapped in that mirror purgatory that Raphael set up a while back to lock away really bad things. I was moving through reflective surfaces and I noticed that little me was in trouble so I used some of that grace you leant me to slip from the nearest reflective surface into your head. I was sort of awkward because well I just about had to grope you to get in here."

Michael looked away from the TV and caught the actual blush on the little angel's face.

Michael grinned, he missed that.

"I mean I have no issues with groping you, it's just I'd like it to be in a more comfortable setting before I go getting friendly," Michael teased.

"I will smite you," Castiel grumbled.

Michael chuckled, "There's the little brat I use to know. Hey is there any beer in the fridge or is this a PG rated Grace Point?"

Castiel opened the fridge and tossed Michael a beer, Michael caught it with a grin.

"You are my favorite Angel," Michael chuckled, "good heart, loyal to a fault, beautiful wings, and provider of beer. I mean really those wings, that beautiful smile, and a pair of eyes so blue that I could just drown in them- no wonder you get my wings all a flutter."

Castiel blushed, "Michael!"

Michael grinned and gave a wink; it was a rather private matter among Angels when it came to wings.

“Come on pretty bird,” Michael teased over the rim of his beer, “you know I’m just telling the truth.”

Castiel’s blush deepened, Michael couldn’t help how his grin widened- he loved making Castiel blush.

Once upon a time, his entire goal was to fluster the little angel, it was how he ended up having his heart stolen by Castiel.

“I see you haven’t matured in the slightest,” Castiel sighed, “and you said that Balthazar was a bad influence.”

“I’ve matured a bit,” Michael pouted playfully, “but you know what they say, all work and no play and all that.”

Michael winked, he wasn't as noble and innocent as all the Angels and stories of him made him out to be.

Michael was held as the highest of warriors and respected highly, so for all of those faults he had many redeeming qualities.

Michael was actually noble at times, he was loyal to his Father's words, he fought to protect humans- always trying to see the good in them, he was fiercely protective of his family, he carried as much responsibility on his shoulders as he could, and he never looked for anything in return.

He was a much loved Angel- he wasn’t ashamed to admit it- so whenever he had become distant and lingered longer on Earth all the Angels had taken notice.

Where he could once be found sparring and teaching the fledgling, it became a common thing for Michael to be found flirting with anything on legs, he became a heavy drinker of anything alcoholic and it became known that he dabbled in herbal (weed) related practices.

He had always been was very cocky and quick to fight but he became somewhat worse, mouthing off to creatures trying to push them into a fight- he come close to having his wings ripped from his body once or twice only to be saved by Lucifer each time.

He still fought as Heaven’s Sword- fought and won like any good weapon would.

Once he was off the battle field though, he was a regular terror.

In hindsight, Michael was certain that he had been the one who had inspired the less than virtuous life style choices that Balthazar and Gabriel had eventually chosen.

He had been a regular hellion and not the best role model back in his old days, it had been his way of dealing with the nightmares left over from the battles- until he had met Castiel and suddenly only the angel could calm the horrors in his mind.

Things had calmed down after that, everything had been wonderful and then it wasn’t.

Lucifer had rebelled.

He had been given the command to lock away his little brother.

It had broken him in ways that couldn’t be fixed, not even by Castiel.

He just couldn’t be Heaven’s Sword anymore.

Couldn’t keep going.

"I'm only making a point Cass," Michael assured innocently, "you are truly a beautiful creature. A pure thing, something that causes temptation in even the purest of beings. Your innocence only seems to worsen those matters, forgive me Castiel but I cannot help but make such comments of the beauty I see when I look at or the tempting things that I wish to do when I look at you."

Castiel looked away- Michael knew how things like that would make him blush, it seemed something really never did change.

He missed this Michael.

"You are you again?"

"For now I’m a copy of the old Michael, but if we get on that subject it will lead back to me and Dean and then it'll get confusing again. You know though, it is a bit funny that you never noticed how similar he is to the Angel who use to let you tag along with him everywhere. I mean Dean is everything that he was. Every last action, reaction, emotion, and thought. All exactly the same."

"Except you aren't," Castiel said.

Michael sat up; he finished off the beer and looked up at Castiel. He tossed the empty bottle into the nearby trash bin then waved his hand, within a blink Castiel was directly in front of him.

"How so?"

"Dean has something different about him," Castiel explained as he watched Michael look up at him with a pair or sorrowful green eyes, "he's more- I don't know how to explain it, but at first glance you two look identical. I mean beside the fact that you look more-"

"Punk rocker meets bad boy," Michael supplied with a grin.

"-um yes. The thing is now that I'm up and speaking to you I can see or feel a difference. I don't understand it though."

Michael smiled as he gently caressed Castiel's face, he understood. He really did. Castiel was in love with Dean, his love allowed him to see the differences between the being that was once Michael and the human that he’d become.

"I see," Michael stated gently, "you are more amazing than I thought. This proves it."

Castiel leaned into the touch, Michael watched as the little angel's wings extended and flexed happily at the touch. Michael sucked in a deep breath as those wings were exposed to him. He had missed wings, missed the feeling of Grace as it rushed out on the tips and reached for the nearest Grace longing to be stroked gently. It was something so beautiful and warming.

It made all emptiness disappear.

"M-Michael," Castiel panted in his deep husky voice as Michael’s fingers ran through those beautiful black feathers.

Castiel felt his knees go weak.

"Cass, damn you're amazing," Michael whispered.

Castiel took a deep breath and made himself focus back to the matter at hand.

"Michael," Castiel said in a more stern voice, "you said the Hag was impersonating you?"

"Yes, she's messing with little guy's head, and it's really screwing Dean over. The kid is kind of all my insecurities rolled up into a bite-size serving. I mean yeah he's got his own mold set and all his own things going on but the kid's not so sturdy on his own right now. He needs a guiding hand. That's why I came to you. You have to pull me out of purgatory."

Castiel looked startled, "What? How? Michael I do not have enough power to do that."

Michael smirked, "I'm going to ask you to do something that you may not like very much.'

"What?"

"Call Gabe," Michael said sheepishly.

Castiel frowned, his wings retracted, "I'm rethinking smiting you.'

Michael chuckled, "And people say that you have no sense of humor."

//*\\\

Dean sat quietly at the kitchen table coloring, Castiel had fallen asleep next to him.

Dean had noticed lately that Castiel always looked tired, so he wasn’t really mad that he’d decided to take a nap instead of coloring with him.

Nap times wasn’t fun but Sammy had said it was important, because it kept people from being grumpy- but he couldn’t remember ever seeing Cass take a nap.

Maybe he didn’t feel good?

Dean reached over and put his hand to Castiel’s forehead like his Mommy use to do to him when he didn’t feel good- she’d always told him that if his forehead was warm that meant he was sick.

Cass’s forehead didn’t feel warm though, maybe he did just need a nap.

 

Castiel was to his left and seemed to be asleep, and Mikie was to his right glaring rather angrily at him. Mikie was still mad because he had told everyone his secret.

"Should Cass be able to sleep?"

Dean looked at Castiel worriedly then back at Mikie.

"He's falling," Mikie pointed out in a strange and scary voice.

"Huh?"

"He's slipping from Grace. This sleeping thing will happen occasionally, then more often, and finally once he falls completely he'll have normal human sleeping patterns," Mikie explained.

"I don't want Cass to fall," Dean pouted, "He won't have his pretty wings no more."

"So?"

"So, I like Cass's wings, they are prettiful," Dean answered as he finished drawing his picture.

He looked back up at Mikie and frowned Mikie didn't look happy.

Why was Mikie being so mean lately and why did he look scary?

"Do you like his wings more than mine?"

Dean looked at Mikie's wings, they looked sick. They didn't look like they usually did; they looked like Sammy had whenever he had gotten that tummy bug. They were almost actually green.

Dean didn't like it.

"What? I like yours the mostest Mikie but I think Cass's are prettier," Dean stated bluntly.

Mikie frowned, "You're mean."

Dean looked sad, "What? But I still love you. You’re my bestest angel friend."

"So, you think his wings are prettier and you told the secret. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Dean looked like he was about to start crying, "No! Don't be mad Mikie! I sorry, promise I still think your wings are the prettiest. I like Cass's to though. I-I thought you wanted me to tell the secret, you use to tell me to all the time.”

"I didn’t want you to tell, know you might tell all of our secrets. How can I trust you? You told and now they won't love you no more," Mikie said with a frowned.

"But Ellen said-"

"She lied," Mikie snapped, "remember what you said? No one would love you if they knew. They were only nice now because you're four but when you turn back to normal they'll leave you. Dean, I'm not trying to hurt you, I’m just being honest. What do you think they’ll do if you tell all of our secrets? They’ll just leave and you’ll be all alone."

"Sammy wouldn't hate me," Dean whimpered, "and Addy wouldn't either. Cass said he loved me to. Bobby, and Ellen, and Jo won't hate me. They won’t leave me ever."

"No they may not hate you but they might not look at you the same. Think about it Dean, you lied to them hid this from them. Why would they stay if you did something like that?"

 

Dean sniffed as tears began to drip down his face; he rubbed at his eyes, not wanting to cry again. He hated crying; Daddy use to say only crybabies cry, and Dean wasn't a crybaby.

"So I gotta leave?"

"Yes," Mikie answered.

"Where do I go?"

"Follow me," Mikie answered.

Dean nodded, "Okay Mikie."

Dean slipped down from his chair and started to follow Mikie, but stopped. Dean turned around and slid his drawing under Castiel's arm. He also sat Chevy next to him.

"Dean hurry up," Mikie snapped.

Dean frowned; he didn't understand why Mikie was being so mean. Mikie never use to be so mean.

"I'm coming," Dean said then quickly followed Mikie out through the back door.

Dean followed Mikie across the backyard and into the car lot then toward the back fence.

There was a hole in it big enough for Dean to crawl through but he stopped, he almost did, but he stopped. He knew that beyond that point there were no more demon wards, that from then on all the monsters could get him. He knew because Bobby had said so, when he had made Dean promise not to go outside of the fence.

Dean looked back toward the house; he knew that he’d get in trouble if he left and he didn’t want to get in trouble.

"What's wrong Dean?"

"I not a'pose to leave," Dean said.

"Why not?"

"Cause of tha monsters, Mikie," Dean said.

"What? Dean don't tell me that you're a chicken," Mikie teased.

Dean frowned, Mikie was acting weird. First he was mad about the secret; Mikie had use to tell him that it would be okay to tell Sammy, that keeping secrets from his family wasn’t a good thing.

It didn't make sense that he was suddenly mad about him being honest.

Mikie wouldn't let him go somewhere dangerous, in fact Mikie would've been the one yelling at Dean to stay in the fence.

So why was Mikie trying the get him to leave?

What was wrong with Mikie?

"I'm no chicken," Dean snapped, "I’m brave, like Batman."

"Batman wouldn't be afraid to crawl through a damn fence," Mikie snapped.

Dean covered his mouth and backed up a bit, he knew something was wrong now, because Mikie wouldn't say a bad like that to him, ever.

"You're not my Mikie! You’re a liar,” Dean accused, “My Mikie isn’t mean or bad like you are!”

 

"That's right Dean," the fake Mikie hissed as his eyes turned black, "I'm not."

Dean stumbled backwards and went to turn and run but suddenly he couldn't get his legs to listen to him anymore. Something cold was gripping his legs and forcing him to turn and walk toward the fence. He couldn't run or move.

He started to cry, he didn’t care if it made him a crybaby- he was scared.

"Stop it!"

"Oh sweet little Dean," cooed the fake Mikie, "I won't stop till I have you. I want my delicious little Dean all to myself."

Dean's eyes went wide and he did the only thing he could think of- he screamed bloody murder.

//*\\\

"I know it just makes you want to scream and rip out your hair whenever Gabe's around, Cass, but he's my only chance to get out of purgatory and keep little me safe."

Castiel sighed, "I know and that's why I called for him."

"Is he coming?"

"Yes," Castiel said with a frown, "he said he was coming directly here."

Michael smiled, "You're amazing."

"You're annoying," Castiel sighed.

Michael grinned, "So I've been told."

Castiel sighed and sat down next to Michael, his entire body relaxed as he laid his head on Michael's shoulder. Michael smiled, he could remember all the times they sat watching sunsets like this.

Sure, back then Castiel had been much younger, barely old enough to be considered a fledgling and no longer a hatchling. Back then, Michael had tried to assure himself in the beginning that it had been a parental need to protect him, now Michael couldn’t lie to himself.

He knew the need to protect him came from a completely different feeling, one that was connected back with Dean. Michael smiled as he thought back on all the things they used to do together, all the things he showed to the little angel.

"You're tired," Michael sighed.

"Yes," Castiel sighed, "it's a new feeling."

"You're falling because of me," Michael whispered.

"Dean," Castiel yawned.

"What?"

"I'm falling for him," Castiel sighed, "he's the one I'm trusting to make things right."

Michael smiled, "Cass, how many times am I going to have to tell you? I am Dean."

Castiel pressed his face into Michael's shoulder, Michael smiled. Castiel was seeking comfort; comfort in the way only an Angel could give to another. Michael released his wings and wrapped them tightly around Castiel.

Michael heard Castiel sigh happily and nuzzle his shoulder.

"Dean says thank you," Michael whispered, “for falling for him.”

Castiel smiled, "How kind of him."

"Ah that's just adorable."

Michael looked up and smirked as he saw Gabriel leaning against the far wall.

"Hey Gabe."

"Hey Michael, good to see you and not that prick you left upstairs."

Michael smirked, "Kisses and hugs to you to."

Gabriel grinned, "Missed you, you smart ass."

"Missed you too."

Gabriel looked Michael over then glance at the Castiel.

"You look the same punk rock version of the older shrimp Winchester," Gabriel sighed.

"Asshole," Michael grumbled, "I'm not short."

Gabriel smirked, "You kind of are Michael, and you had to be reborn in a genetically short guy."

 

"I'll smite you," Michael growled.

"Sure right after you crawl your ass out of those mirrors on your own?"

"Point taken. Wanna help now?"

Gabriel shrugged, "Guess so."

Gabriel waved his hand and the binds that held Michael to the mirror world snapped.

It wasn’t the most pleasant of feelings, it knocked the air from Michael’s lungs and had his wings go ridged. It hurt almost as bad as being ripped apart from Dean.

Michael lost himself for a moment in the pain but all it took to bring him out of it, was the feeling of Castiel taking hold of him and his voice trying to soothe him.

Once he was back in his own head and able to breathe, his wings went lax and his vision refocused on the world around him.

“Michael?”

Michael leaned over on Castiel, leaning into his touch.

“I’m fine,” he panted, “it might have hurt more than I had expected.”

“Really? Between the yell and frantic wing flapping we wouldn’t have noticed, “Gabriel snorted.

Michael could hear the concern that Gabriel tried to hide under sarcasm and an uncaring tone.

Despite the pain, Michael managed to look up at his little brother with a genuine smile, "Thanks Gabe."

Michael took notice of the way Gabriel’s body seemed to relax and he felt his heart soar, he missed his little brothers.

All of them.

"No problem. Now we should get out of little birdie's head."

Michael nodded, "Go ahead. I'll wake him up gently and then we'll head back."

"Sure. Just do me a favor and don't wing molest the little birdie. Poor kid is too innocent for the likes of you."

Michael watched as a smiling Gabriel left the room. He turned to Castiel and kissed the angel’s forehead.

"Cass, I’m going to need you to wake up now," Michael said with a soft tone.

"I want to stay here with you," Castiel admitted.

"I know but I need you to wake up for me," Michael cooed.

"Fine, just get out of my head first," Castiel yawned.

Michael smiled, "Fine grumpy."

Michael closed his eyes and flexed his wings, he felt the world around him shift and shape back into reality. With one deep breath Michael opened his eyes and found himself standing in the middle of Bobby's kitchen.

He slowly worked on getting his wits about him by taking in the room around him.

The first thing that really grabbed his attention wasn't the fact that Gabriel was standing next to Sammy and all the other Hunters currently taking up residence in Bobby’s kitchen or the fact that Castiel was up and trying to explain to a very upset sounding Sammy and Adam why some punk rock version of their beloved Dean was currently standing in the middle of the kitchen.

No none of that even registered as important on Michael radar.

The things that did, however, were that Dean was no longer sitting in his chair coloring, that there was an abandoned Chevy tucked in Castiel's arms without the angel realizing it, and that Dean was not anywhere in the kitchen.

Michael felt fear fill his entire body, both his own fear and the fear of another.

It was a fear that came from a much larger part than himself, and it clutched tightly at his entire being.

Michael looked over at Gabriel and the little group of squabbling humans- Gabriel’s eyes locked with his and instantly the other angel seemed to realize that something was wrong.

"Where is Dean?"

"What?"

"WHERE'S DEAN!"

Michael's true voice broke through, as the fear gripped tightly at his entire being, it caused glass to blow out of windows, mirrors to explode, and various objects to shatter.

He couldn’t control himself, it was as thought someone had tapped into him and were forcing their fear out through him.

The human's covered their ears and duck out of the way of exploding objects and flying glass shards. Gabriel was rather quick to get to Sam's side and Castiel was even quicker to move to Michael's side.

"Michael stop! Please stop before you hurt someone!"

Michael quickly covered his mouth, but not because of Castiel's begging no, it was because he realized what was causing all of this and where the fear was coming from.

"No, Dean,” Michael gasped.

Michael disappeared into thin air only leaving behind the sound of fluttering wings and ruffling feathers. Castiel and Gabriel quickly followed once they realized where Michael was going.

The angels were soon followed by a frantic gun carry group of hunters once they caught sound of Dean's screams.

//*\\\

Dean felt his heart racing, the warped form of Mikie before him- no the Hag- was slowly warping into something scarier than a rotting Mikie.

Her mouth widened, fangs as big butcher knives, her eyes turned yellow like the bad man who had hurt Mommy and Daddy, her skin began to hang off of her in shreds, and her fingers turned into claws.

Dean could feel those claws digging into his arms and it hurt- it hurt so badly.

 

"STOP! PLEASE STOP! I WANT MOMMY! I WANT ELLEN! I WANT SAMMY AND ADAM!"

Dean was screaming and sobbing; he was trembling and kicking out as hard as he could.

"Stop you little bastard! Stop and come to me, I'm so hungry for your sweet little sorrow. I'll eat you up!"

Dean's eyes went wide he grabbed as the Hag's wrist and screamed louder.

"MOMMY! DADDY!"

Dean closed his eyes as he felt something rushing through him, he opened his eyes just in time to see a bright light and the watched as the Hag's hand went up in flames.

She screeched as she flung Dean away from her.

Dean screamed out in fear, expecting a painful crash to the ground, but arms caught him.

"I’ve got you, Dean.”

Dean looked up and smiled as his green eyes were met by an identical pair.

"Mikie!"

"Hey buddy, I got you. No more tears okay," Michael soothed.

Dean clutched Michael’s shirt and sobbed into it, Michael gently patted his back and cooed softly to him, promising that it was going to be okay.

“You like shit,” a voice shrieked.

Dean looked back around to see the Hag crawling toward them almost like a spider would, it made Dean jump in Michael’s arm and clench his shirt tighter in fear.

Her eyes were a blazing yellow, her butcher knife teeth were bared and gleaming in the light, and even with only one hand her claws still looked sharp enough to tear someone to shreds- she looked like something out of a nightmare.

"Mikie make her go away! Please make he go away!"

Dean looked up frantically at Mikie and went ridged, Mike's eyes were wide open and he looked- just as scared as Dean was.

Dean shook Mikie trying to get him to move.

"MIKIE!"

"I've got you both now,” the hag cackled, “two little morsels all mine to gobble up!”

"Get away from him!"

Castiel appeared out of nowhere blocking Dean and Michael from the Hag.

"Cass,” both Michael and Dean said in union.

"Move little fledgling,” the Hag roared, “Those two are mine!”

"I won't let you hurt them," Castiel growled, “I won’t let anyone hurt them.”

"You can't hurt me or Dean dies," cackled the Hag.

"Sure we can't kill you, but we can store your soul in a nice cozy little cell until we figure something else out. I’ve got just the place in mind, it’s a lovely little void made of mirrors. I think you might have heard of it."

“No,” the Hag screeched.

Dean looked over Michael’s shoulder and saw Gabriel standing there looking really mad.

“Oh yes, but first I believe we’ll have to separate you from that disgusting heap of meat that you call a body.”

"You wouldn't d-"

Before the Hag could finish Gabriel snapped his fingers and blood and guts went everywhere. Dean screamed and closed his eyes, feeling sick at the thought of all the gross stuff getting on him.

"D-Dean open your eyes. It’s okay," Michael whispered, “I promise that it’s okay.”

Dean opened his eyes to find that Mikie's pretty grey wings were stretched out around them shielding them from all the bad stuff.

"Mikie?"

"It's really me. That mean old Hag can’t get you," Michael assured, "you're safe now."

Dean pressed his face into Michael's chest and tried to hide his tears.

"Dean!"

Mikie flexed his wings, riding them of the carnage and tucked them away, as Sam’s voice echoed through the car graveyard.

Dean looked over Mikie's shoulder and saw Ellen, Sammy, and Adam running at full speed toward him and the angels.

Jo was lagging back to help Bobby make his way out toward them.

"Dean! Oh my God, Dean!"

Dean's eyes went big, then looked at Michael, silently asking if it was okay to go to his family, Michael nodded and let Dean down.

He watched as Dean took off toward Ellen, he ran right into her arms and started crying.

"Dean, it’s okay, honey. I got you, you're safe now," Ellen assured as she held Dean close to her and rubbed his back.

"It was scary! I’m sorry Ellen, I thought she was my Mikie! I-I don't like the scary lady! Mommy, don't let her get me," Dean sobbed into Ellen's shoulder as he clung on to her for dear life.

Ellen went still at Dean calling her 'mommy,' she knew that he was probably too upset to realize what he had said so she let it pass.

"I won't let her get you sweetheart," Ellen soothed, "I've got you now and you're safe."

Dean nodded and allowed Ellen to gently kiss his forehead and tuck his head under her chin. Ellen began gently rocking the boy as Michael and the other two angels joined her.

Ellen shot Gabriel a glare that had him raising his hands in surrender.

“Don’t you ever do something like that in front of this child again,” she hissed over the top of Dean’s head.

Ellen was scary.

"Who is the new wing boy and why the hell does he look like the pot head punk rock version of my brother,” Sam questioned shooting both Gabriel and Castiel a confused look.

"Because he is Dean," Castiel answered bluntly.

Michael winced, "Well yes, I am Dean, but it’s a little more compli-"

"Cut the bullshit and give me a name," Ellen growled.

"Michael," Michael answered with a squeak, "but Dean calls me Mikie. I'm on your side and a very important piece of Dean so please don't horrible maim me."

Gabriel snickered, "Aren't you supposed to be an almighty Archangel warrior?"

"I am, but I not suicidal. All creatures should know never to piss off a lady. That's a real dumb thing to do."

Ellen grinned, "I like this angel. He's smart."

Michael grinned, "Thank you. Oh and I haven't smoked weed since Dean was like- fourteen. Okay maybe more like three months ago after that hunt in Texas with that that pissed off hangman’s ghost but really who’s keeping track of something like that."

Ellen's eyebrow cocks, "Alright, I see I need to have a few things explained to me and a few of us need to put up safety spell to keep Dean safe. Let’s get to it. Jo, Adam, and Cass you guys get this place safe for Dean. Michael, Sam, blondie, and Bobby inside with me."

No one dared to make a fuss and quickly all hopped to it.

"Ellen," Dean mumbled.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"I want Tevy, and a cookie," Dean mumbled.

Ellen smirked, "Alright sweet heart, I’ll get you Chevy and a cookie.”


	9. Chapter 9

 

Dean squealed happily as Michael tossed him into the air again, and caught him at the last possible moment. Castiel watched from his seat, it seemed that Michael was always doing that, catching others at the last possible moment.

It was such a typical Dean thing to do.

 

"Mikie,” Dean happily squealed.

 

"Dee," Michael squealed right back just as happily.

 

Castiel smirked at Michael's nickname for Dean.

It was- cute?

Yes that was the word.

 It was very cute.

 

"You're making my tummy feeling funny," Dean giggled happily.

 

He made Castiel’s tummy feel funny to every time he looked his way and gave him a smile or a wink. Dean caused the same reaction when he had done that to Castiel in the past- before he’d been turn it a child.

Cass really missed his Dean.

 

Michael grinned, "Really? Well you know that's just the butterflies getting all excited."

 

Michael sat Dean down in his lap, Dean's eyes went wide, "I gots butterflies in my tummy? Ellen! Mikie said I gots butterflies in my tummy! How do we get them out?"

 

Michael quickly covered Dean's mouth.

 

"Shh! Hey, let's not make Ellen not like me anymore then she already does. I enjoy not being the focus of her glares," Michael whispered.

Michael made a face and jerked his hand away from Dean’s mouth.

“Ew, you licked me,” Michael whined, “that’s so gross. You don’t know where that hands been.”

Castiel’s face went a little red as less than pure thoughts came to mind about just where that hand could’ve have been.

 

"Big baby, you shouldn’t have covered my mouth,” sassed Dean with a grin.

 

Michael wiped his hand off on his jeans and stuck his tongue out at Dean.

The little boy did the same in return and then giggled when Michael made a face at him.

 

“Ellen does to like you," Dean argued, “she’s a nice lady. She likes everybody and she makes really good cookies.”

 

"Death glares are a funny way of showing it," Michael pouted, “plus I wouldn’t say she likes everybody.”

 

"She made you cookies though," Dean reminded, “only nice people make cookies.”

 

Michael looked over at the rather large plate of cookies then back at Dean, "Correction. She made you cookies. I was only allowed to eat some because you offered me some. I’m pretty sure she’d be less than pleased if she caught me reaching for them on my own. "

 

Dean giggled, "Mikie, you are silly."

 

Michael grinned and tickled Dean Stomach, "I know I'm a regular comedian."

 

Dean wiggled to be put down, Michael let him go and he and Castiel watched as the boy grab a handful of cookies.

Dean walked over to Castiel and handed him one, Castiel took it and looked at it.

 

"It's really good," Dean promised, "not as good cheese burgs or pie but they make you feel better. Try it, Mikie loves them."

 

Castiel nodded, "Alright."

 

Michael and Dean watched quietly as Castiel sampled the cookie, they waited until the entire cookie was gone before they said anything.

 

"Good?"

 

Castiel nodded, and Dean clapped happily.

 

"Yay! Cass likes cookies!"

 

Michael cheered happily with Dean and waved Chevy’s little bear arms up in excitement to match Dean’s movements.

 Castiel smiled at the two boys.

 

"Hey did you give that drawing to Cass yet?"

 

Dean's eyes went wide, "Oh no I left it in da kitchen! I'll be right back, Mikie watch Tevy."

 

Michael sat up straight and saluted the child, "Yes sir!"

 

Dean nodded and quickly ran off into the kitchen, where Bobby and Ellen were.

 

"You're very good with him," Castiel stated.

 

Michael shrugged, "I just know what makes him tick. We're the same person remember."

 

Castiel nodded, "I do. That's why I want to know something."

 

"What?"

 

"Why is he so closed off?”

 

Michael froze; he went ridged and quietly looked away from Castiel. It was obviously a question that took Michael off guard.

 

"I don't know."

 

"You're lying," Castiel pointed out.

 

"Yeah," Michael confirmed.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it's not something that Dean wants people to know."

 

"I can just search his mind then," Castiel sighed.

 

"No, a lot of Dean's memories are locked away from Angels and Demons."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I locked it away for him," Michael explained, "so that no one could hurt him."

 

Castiel was quiet for a moment, "He's being hurt now. Everything that you locked away hurts him. Not physically but emotionally, to the point where he ends up in danger. He hurts all the time but he buries it so deep."

 

“Why are you so interested in this?”

“Because I-” Castiel stopped and lowered his gaze.

“Little Bird?”

“Don’t call me that,” Castiel huffed.

“I’ve always called you that,” Michael pointed out.

“That was then this is now,” Castiel answered, “I’m not just a foolish little fledgling, I am a solider, not your little bird.”

“You’ll always be my little Bird,” Michael promised, “even though you’ve changed so much since then I’ll always see you as-”

“You left,” Castiel cut in,” you left and didn’t explain why. That empty being returned to Heaven in your place, I thought that you had finally listened to Lucifer’s words and thrown me away. You were gone, I was lost, and everything changed.”

“Castiel-”

“I understand your reasons for doing what you did,” Castiel assured, “but I still feel-”

“Hurt,” Michael supplied sounding like he was almost physically hurt by the word.

“Yes,” Castiel admitted, “I know that I am not pleased with you and that I feel betrayed. I also feel foolish for feeling these things, I understood before falling in love with you that you were of a higher caste than me. I knew that you had more pressing responsibilities than simply being with me and yet I still feel….hurt.”

 

Michael didn't speak, he simply stood up and walked over to Castiel, and then he got on his knees into front of him and looked up at the younger angel. Castiel watched him nervously, making sure to keep an ear out for anyone heading their way. He did not know why but he felt nervous about Sam or Adam finding him with Michael- it made him feel as though he were…cheating.

A hand gently touched the side of Castiel’s face, pulling Castiel’s focus back to Michael.

“I never wanted to leave you,” Michael promised, “I never listened to Lucifer’s heated ramblings or thought that you were in anyway lower than me. Cass, there was so much that I couldn’t tell you or anyone else. So much that I had to keep hidden and yet in the end all of my secrecy did nothing to help anyone. Everything I did was to keep all of this from happening, I don’t want the world to end, I don’t want to fight my brother, and I’ve never wanted to put you in the middle of all of this. I thought you’d be safer not knowing, safer hating me.”

 

"Michael?"

 

"You're part of the reason," Michael pressed on suddenly.

 

"What?"

 

"The reason why he’s so closed off," Michael explained.

 

Castiel frowned, he looked down at Michael, it hurt to hear that.

 

"What do you mean? Why am I the reason?"

 

Michael gently rested the side of his face on Castiel's thigh; he closed his eyes and calmly took a deep breath.

 

"He's terrified that he's going to lose you. It’s a fear that transferred over from his past life as me. He watches you fall a little more each day, he sees how much it hurts you to not be connected to Heaven and it hurts him -us?-, he sees how much he's taken from you, and he knows that no matter how badly he wants to make it better for you that he can't. Cass, he hates love so much because he can't show it with actions no matter how hard he tries. He hates it because the one person that he's in love with is hurting because of him."

 

Castiel gently stroked his hand through Michael's hair; he didn't understand what the older angel was talking about. Michael was rambling.

 

"Michael?"

 

"I'm sorry," Michael sighed, "it's so hard to explain all of this Cass. I mean my head is mixed up. It's all Dean's thoughts; everything in my head is him. I can't really think like I use to, because I’m not who I use to be. Its like- I'm not sure it's confusing. All I know is that I'm him, I can't explain anything. I just know he cares about you to, he- I love you Cass- I'm still fuzzy on how he-" Michael stopped.

 

He looked up and sighed, he gave a small version of the Dean Winchester's- I'm-not-ok-but-maybe- I-can-pretend-to-be smiles.

 

"Michael-"

 

"Mikie! Mikie, Cass! I gots the picture!"

 

Michael sat up and watched as the little version of him came running back into the room with Jo on his heels.

 

"Dean don't run you'll hurt your chest," Jo scolded.

 

Michael held out his arms and smiled as Dean ran into them.

 

"Let's see," Michael held up the picture. He grinned then turned it so Castiel could see it.

Castiel cocked his head to the side, Michael smirked.

 

"Dee, tell him about the picture," Michael stage whispered.

 

Dean blushed, "That's me and that's Cass with a heart."

 

"Really? Well look at that," Michael chuckled.

 

"It is very nice," Castiel said as he took it and looked at it.

 

"I made it for you," Dean said as Michael held him.

 

Castile looked up and smiled, "For me?"

 

"It means you keep it. Put it in your pocket, hag it on the fridge or whatever but you keep," Michael explained.

Castiel nodded and sat the picture down on the end table next to him.

 

"Thank you Dean," Castiel said happily.

 

Dean smiled, "You're welcome."

 

Michael watched as Dean rubbed at his chest, wincing a bit. Michael frowned, he was pretty sure Dean had to be hurting.

 

"Hey Dee, you want me to fix your chest up?"

 

Dean nodded but didn't verbally agreed Michael understood that, the kid didn't want to seem weak.

 

"Alright then, raise up your shirt for me," Michael instructed.

 

Dean nodded and lifted the material; Michael looked at the wound and then gently rubbed his hand over it, making it slowly disappear.

Michael felt light headed at the stress of using what little Grave he had- he felt shaky and exhausted. He really didn’t have the mojo to be healing anyone but he couldn’t have Dean hurting either- the little boy didn’t deserve that.

Michael pushed away the exhausted feelings clawing at him and forced himself to smile.

 Dean smiled back as the wound went away, he looked up at Michael.

 

"Thank you Mikie," Dean said happily.

 

"Not a problem Dee," Michael replied as he brushed his finger down Dean's nose.

 

Dean giggled happily and went to grab Chevy off the couch.

 

"How did you do that?"

 

Michael looked over at Jo and smirked, "I'm the resonant grace of an Arch Angel, sweet heart. I'm not up to full mojo like Gabbie in there but I'm still pretty awesome. Though, I’m probably not going to be able to do that again."

 

"So awesome that you couldn't send that Hag bitch packing?"

 

Michael frowned as Gabriel comes walking into the room with Sam on his heels. Michael knew this had been coming, Gabriel had seemed alright earlier, even happy to see him, but Michael knew that eventually this was going to happen.

It didn’t matter that Gabriel understood the reasons behind everything- he was still the little brother who had gotten left behind.

He was angry, Michael understood that, and Michael felt that he deserved all the anger that Gabriel felt toward him, but now wasn’t the time to have a heart to heart.

He hoped that would eventually but right now wasn’t the best time.

“Gabe,” Michael sighed, “this isn’t the best time for-”

“You ass,” Gabriel snapped.

So it starts.

“Gabe, please just let’s just tackle one issue at a time. Saving Dean takes priority or family issu-”

“Damn Michael!”

Michael felt Dean flinch.

It was rather obvious that Gabriel was not to happy, it was even more obvious that he was letting his anger blind him.

What was painfully obvious thought was that Sammy was trying pretty hard to calm that Arch Angel down.

Hmm, Michael stored that little bit of info away for later- something seemed to being blooming there.

"Gabe be nice," Sammy warned, "don't upset Dean."

"Which Dean? The four-year-old or my brother who Dean looked like.”

"Michael looks like Dean," Adam snapped as he stomped into the room, "get it right."

"Listen you-"

"Stop! Gabbie don't be mean to Addy! He’s my baby brother!"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Listen kid, I'm not being mean."

"Meanie! Meanie face," Dean yelled as he shot Gabriel a baby version of the well-known Dean Winchester glare.

Sam tried his best not to laugh for Gabriel's sake- Adam, however wasn't as polite.

"Dean," Michael sighed, "don't argue with Gabe. He's like Sammy. He's stubborn."

Dean looked over at Michael and nodded, like that made sense.

"Hey!"

"I am not stubborn," Gabriel pouted after Sammy's little protest.

Castiel shook his head, "You are both trying to get a raise out of your brothers. Enough please."

Dean and Michael both looked down sheepishly and muttered a sorry.

"He does raise a good point Michael," Castiel said, "you weren't able to fight off the Hag. Why is that?"

Michael shivered at hearing Castiel say his name.

He had missed that a lot.

"That's easy," Michael stated as he held Dean in his lap and laid his chin a top the boy's head, "I'm cursed just like Dean and I’m also not actually Michael."

"What? Wait how are you cursed? You're an Arch Angel," Adam pointed out, “you are Michael. How are you not you?”

Michael shrugged and pulled Dean as close to him as he could.

He felt a bit more complete with Dean near him.

Now he didn't have that lost feeling.

He felt almost most whole.

“I’m Dean,” Michael explained, “I’m only Dean. What I am right now is just a speck of grace that Castiel recharged when he pulled me from hell. So I’m not Michael, I’m not an Arch Angel, I’m Dean. I have bits or Michael’s memories and his personality but I’m not him.”

"You really aren’t Michael,” Gabriel spoke up his voice suddenly sounding not as strong as before, “You're just a focal point for some human soul now. You can't do a damn thing without Dean. Hell it just about wore you out fly off to his side earlier didn't it. I guess you're lucky that I and Cass had you back or you probably would have gotten torn a new one by a low level Hag."

Michael frowned, it was all true, but Gabriel didn't have to be an ass.

Sure, Michael knew it was his own fault, he knew Gabriel had to be holding some serious hate for him.

He had left him after all.

He’d ran off trying to save one brother and forgot about his other brothers.

 He’d allowed his mind to zero in on just Lucifer instead of all of them- but he’d always been bad about that. It wasn’t something he meant to do, it was just Lucifer was such a handful- he needed to be watched over more than the others.

He’d tried to keep him out of trouble but that had failed horribly.

He’d failed Lucifer and it was obvious that he’d failed Gabriel as well.

“I’m sorry Gabe,” Michael spoke up.

“What does it even mean coming from you? You’re not Michael,” Gabriel snapped, “you said it yourself. So what does an apology mean from you?”

 Michael buried his face into little Dean's shoulder and tried not to let Gabriel and Cass see how insecure he was.

It was something that he had tried to get rid of, something that he had even lied to Cass and said that it was only in Dean, but that wasn't true.

 Michael was just as insecure and broken as Dean.

He just hid it better behind humor and sarcasm, when he was on his own.

When was combined with Dean, they somehow decided that whiskey and lies were a better way to hide all the bad things.

"Gabe! Stop being an ass!"

Michael looked up at Sammy and smiled. It felt nice having Sammy speak up for him.

"Sam, he left me! He left us! He left Heaven to come down here and play out his dream of pretending to be human and look what it's gotten him! He's been to Hell, he's got more issues than most humans for Father's sake, he can barely function without you and Adam or Castiel! He went from Heaven's sword to-"

 

"SHUTUP! DAMNIT GABRIEL HE IS MY BROTHER! I don't care about any of the crap tied to it! He's Dean! He's the guy who raised me! The guy who would do anything for me and Adam! As far as I'm concerned Michael isn't even real! That's Dean," Sammy snapped.

Michael felt Dean cringe and pull closer to him. He held him tighter.

This was how it had been in the early years, when Michael was growing alongside Dean; they would give each other comfort. Dean would reach out his hand and Michael would take it. It hadn't occurred to him that whenever they had done that that it had just been Dean absorbing Michael. Taking in the strength that was officially his. Michael had always seen it as their dependence on one another, now he knew the truth and expected it whenever he felt the warm tingle of Dean drawing in his strength. It was scary and he knew that if Dean wanted that he could easily take him all in. That he could, at any moment be sucked back into oblivion.

Go back into the darkness that was like death.

 Once he and Dean where combined again, Michael would cease to exist. But then that was best, because in all honesty Dean had more of a reason to exist, he was alive and vibrant.

He was even really Michael after all just a little spark left over- nothing really.

"Stop yelling!"

Everyone went quiet as Castiel raised his voice, it was like a bucket of cold water shocking Michael from his thoughts.

"Cass?"

"You're all scarring Dean," Castiel answered bluntly, "he and Michael are both trembling."

Michael cocked his head to the side and looked down at his hand, he held it out and noticed- for the first time- that Castiel was right.

He was trembling.

"Dean it's alright," Castiel spoke softly, "you and Michael are safe. Ignore Gabe and Sammy, they are both rather stupid. You have no reason to be afraid."

Dean nodded and the trembling ceased as did Michael's trembling.

Michael smiled gently up at Castiel, "Thanks little bird."

Castiel blushed, "Alright, that's enough of that name."

"Little bird! Little bird," Dean giggled.

"Baby birdie! Baby birdie," Michael chuckled as he joined in.

Castiel rolled his eyes.

Yup, he had really been around Dean too long.

"Little bird? What’s with that with that? Wait,” Adam stopped as a grin broke out across his face, “don't tell me that Michael gave you a pet name.”

Castiel blushed, this time everyone saw it, "It- it is only a nickname Adam. You shouldn't dwell on it."

"Why little bird?"

Michael grinned slyly, "Because Cass has wings as soft as a baby bird's. He has the softest wings in all of Heaven."

"Michael!"

Michael's grin widened he leaned his head down to Dean's ear and stage whispered, "Oh, I think Cass is mad Dee."

"Oh no! Cass-Cass don't be mad, please! Mikie stop being mean to Cass!"

Michael frowned, "I'm only playing."

"It's not nice."

"Fine," Michael pouted as he nuzzled Dean's shoulder, "I'll stop."

"Good. Can we go play now?"

Michael nodded, "Sure. What do you want to play?"

"Wait a second now," Jo said, "shouldn't you be helping us fix this? I mean we do have to figure out how to stop the Hag without risking Dean's life."

Michael frowned for his spot on the floor, cross-legged with Dean sitting in his lap, tuck closely to him.

"That is for the grownups to deal with," Michael answered, "I can't do shit. I'm only here to be at Dean's side and to make sure he's safe and happy. I can't do anything other than being a baby sitter. I’m sorry but this time around, Dean and me can’t save our own ass. This time around you guys get to be Batman. Sorry, thems the breaks. Please try not to get us killed and try to get us back to how we should be."

Michael got to his feet with Dean in his arms, and headed for the stairs.

"Where we going Mikie?"

"Upstairs, I think there's still some coloring books up there."

"Yay! Coloring!"

Michael heard Adam snickering as they left, “So soft wings huh?”

“That is not the reason! My wings are not soft!”

“As soft as silk,” Michael called over his shoulder playfully almost feeling the heat off of Castiel’s glare as Adam’s laughter followed them up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, so I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. I know I'm bad about long periods between posting, I'm trying to get better. I read a comment a bit back about how the story seems exactly like the original I posted on ffnet, well it because this it. I'm editing it, adding bits and changing the ending of it drastically. So there will be parts just like the original but things are meant to change for a new story.   
> I've got a few other stories that I will be updating on soon. I'm trying to focus on this one and my Flash one, my muse is just slipping away on them. I'm not giving up on either I'm just trying to find something to spark my muse again.   
> If you have an tips or idea I've got a tumblr -the root of all evil- and would love to have you go look it over.  
> thank you guys, love you all.


	10. Chapter 10

 

Gabriel sat quietly watching Sam as he flipped through another rather old looking book.

He had been at it for hours, periodically stopping to take a bite of the food that Ellen had brought him or a sip of water.

 It was sort of annoying really.

Gabriel really just wanted Sam to put the stupid book down pay attention to him.

Adam could take a break from shamelessly flirting with Jo to come and pick up his own work load.

Sam needed to moment to breath and well Gabriel wanted that breathing moment to be his.

"Please stop undressing me with your eyes Gabe," Sam sighed.

Gabriel smirked, "You know you like it."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Now is not the time."

"Come on, you're tense. I can fix that. Magic finger," Gabriel said as he held up his hands and wiggled his fingers.

"Later."

"Sam," Gabriel whined.

"Dude! Dean could die."

"What else is new?"

"Go away," Sam snapped angrily.

"Come on!"

"Michael is your brother. Even if that guy out there is just left over grace, it’s your brother’s grace and you should want to help him."

Gabriel frowned, "No. I don't give a shit about him."

"Why did you come and pull him out of that place then?"

"Because- um I was bored."

Sam sighed and sat his book down; he looked up at Gabriel and shook his head.

"He left us," Gabriel growled, "left me."

"I left Dean," Sam stated.

Gabriel looked up and saw the look that fell across Sam's face. Gabriel frowned and quickly sat next to the oversized moose.

"That's different," Gabriel whispered, "you had an opportunity for a better life."

"Michael did to. He had a chance to save his brother and have a happy life."

"It didn't work out like that."

"Exactly, he ended up stuck as my brother and his entire life have been shitty because, surprised our dad is in the running for bad parent of the year just as much as your dad."

Gabriel shook his head, "Dean had it hard, but not because of you so much as because of himself."

"What?"

"He had a lot against him, Sam. Most humans made from Dean's situation end up dead within a year of their birth. It's not like it was with Anna, Dean was created from Michael entirely. Anna was just fallen and reborn. Dean was constructed."

"Gabe, he thought about killing himself the night I ran away when we were kids. He thought really hard about it."

"I-"

"He would've done it if Dad hadn't have gotten home."

"-"

Gabriel didn't really know what to say to that. He had seen the entire thing play out in Sam's head.

The memory and all.

"If he had thought about it that one time than how many other times were there? How many times had he imaged killing himself, Gabe? I hate this, I hate seeing the things that Dean hid from me."

Gabriel nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. Listen, we'll fix this. I'll start looking for more information on all of this and see what this bitch is all about. In the meantime take a break and go enjoy the smaller happier version of your big brother, or better yet go make sure that he and Michael don't pressure the poor baby angel into doing anything he shouldn't."

"What?"

Gabriel chuckled, "Don't tell me that you haven't noticed."

"Haven't noticed what?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Uh that Dean has Castiel wrapped around his little finger. I mean he's got him so whipped that it's not even funny- okay it is. He’s got him pretty much connected at the hip even as an adult but now it's like when he say jump Castiel will be all like 'how high'."

Sam laughed, "No way! I mean yeah Cass has been rather attentive to Dean but-"

Sam stopped as it all hit him, "Wow. Dean does have him wrapped around his little finger."

Gabriel grinned, "Yup. Michael is just as bad. I mean if it wasn't for the fact that he has Dean at his side I'm pretty sure he'd be doing very 'Dean Winchester' things to Castiel right now."

"Wait what?"

"Michael favors Castiel- maybe favor isn’t a strong enough word. Head over heels might be better. Cass has always been his favorite hatchling. I mean Michael would honestly take the little angel anywhere and everywhere with him. He even took him to see the first creature to crawl out of the primordial ocean. Hell, every other day he was either taking the kid on field trips or flirting with him in the Gardens. I swear that now that I think about it, his flirting tactics are exactly the same as Dean's."

Sam blushed, "So, Dea- er- Michael likes Castiel? Does that mean that Dean likes him to?"

"Duh, hello! He drew that guy a heart. The kid won't really go to anyone else other than Cass for long bouts of time and - this may just be my logic but- the kid shared his cookies with him. I mean if that ain't love I don't know what is."

"I don't know, Gabe."

Gabriel smirked as he leaned in close and gently took Sam's chin into his hand. Sam looked into the Angel's eyes and blushed.

"Gabe-"

"You should trust me. See I kind have this insight on human male and angelic love. I can tell. See, like I know you have me so wrapped around those lovely fingers of yours that you managed to trick me into doing research instead of doing you."

Sam's face went a darker shade of red and it had Gabriel grinning like made. He loved how Sam could be so innocent at times.

"Gabe I don't have time for this," Sam sighed.

"I told you, you take a break and leave this all to me. I'll get you some info and you chill out for a bit."

Sam sighed, "Fine. You know for a tricky bastard you are actually really sweet."

Gabriel frowned, "Ouch, sweet? No babe, sweet is Cass. I'm a BAMF, and as soon as the ankle bitter is back to his annoying Dean self, I'm gonna prove it to you."

Sam grinned, "See now that is hot."

"You know it baby. Now go before I end up screwing you over the damn desk."

Sam got up quick, he knew that Gabriel wasn't just teasing- he knew from experience that Gabriel didn't play around when it came to sex.

Sam gave the angel a quick kiss and left.

Sam couldn't be entirely sure when he and Gabriel had become an item, but he was very certain of the fact that he couldn’t let Dean and Adam couldn't know. Sure they wouldn't really be pissed at the fact that Sam was gay, just at the fact that he was gay with Gabriel. Plus he knew both men would be that much more worried about him, being Gabriel's boyfriend could and probably would, put Sam in more danger and he knew come hell or high water that Dean and Adam would not let that happen.

Sam rubbed at his temples as he made his way down the hallway, when he passed the door to one of the bedrooms, he noticed that the door was cracked. Sam stopped as he heard Dean's voice on the other side.

"Is Sammy gonna marry Gabbie?"

Gabbie?

"Let's hope not," Michael sighed, "I don't think we could handle Gabriel as a brother-in-law."

Oh, so Dean had given Gabriel a nickname to.

Wow, Sam hoped that Gabriel's sense of humor wasn't too harsh with children.

"Michael be nice."

Sam heard a sigh, "I am being nice. Notice I haven't said anything mean yet."

"I like Gabbie," Dean grumbled, "he’s funny."

"Yeah, he's a riot. Be happy you didn't live up in Heaven during his "funny" stages," Michael grumbled.

"It wasn't that bad," Castiel sighed.

"You never got pranked," Michael reminded.

"Yes, well-"

"Baby angels don't get pranked," Dean said.

Michael laughed, "Right."

"I'm not a baby."

"It's okay Cass," Dean said, "baby brothers get looked after a lot. We big brothers keep you safe."

Sam smiled, yeah big brothers tended to do that, or at least Dean did.

"You got that right. Gabriel will take great care of you, but then I always have," Michael said.

"Mikie are you Cass's big brother?"

"No- well not in the sense that you mean Dee."

"Huh?"

"It's too complicated," Michael sighed, "I'll explain it to you when you're older."

Sam frowned; he knew that wasn't going to happen.

From what Michael had explained, if, no whenever, they got Dean fixed- he would be gone.

"Okay. I want to go play with Ellen and Jo," Dean said.

"But I thought you liked playing with me?"

Sam had to hold back an ‘awe’ as he heard the tone in Castiel's voice.

"I do, don't feel sad Cass. I like playing with Jo, ‘cause she knows how to make the vroom sounds when we play cars."

"I can make the vroom sound," Castiel assured.

"Yeah but they don't sound as cool as Jo's does," Dean sighed, "I sorry. I'll play with you later. Love you Cass, love you Mikie."

"But-"

"We love you to Dee," Michael said, "go play with Jo. I'll keep Cass some company."

"Okay. Bye-bye."

Dean came running to the door faster than Sam could react; he felt the little body bump into his knees before he could move. He just barely had time to catch his mini-sized brother before he hit the floor.

"Ouch," Sam chuckled.

"Oh, sorry Sammy," Dean said looking up.

"It's okay. You want to walk down stairs with me?"

Dean smiled, "Yeah."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, it's me. Hey I'm gonna take Dean down stairs. Gabe said he'd take over the research for a bit. I'm gonna take a break and hang out with Dean."

"Alright," Castiel called from within the room.

"See told you he has our resident Trickster whipped," Michael snickered.

"Michael!"

The resounding thwack and ouch that followed made Sam smile as he took Dean's hand and headed down stairs.

Sam looked down at Dean, he found himself noticing just how much his brother looked like their mom. It amazed Sam just how much his brother looked like the woman that he had never known. Maybe that was another reason for Dean's closeness with their mom. Dean always seemed to be closer to their mom than with Dad. Sam remembered Dean referring to mom a lot more than he did dad when then were younger.

"Sammy?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm just thinking."

"Oh. Whatcha thinking 'bout?"

Sam smiled, "Oh nothing."

"Okay, hey Sammy."

"Yeah?"

"Do you like Gabbie?"

Sammy blushed a little, "Well I sort of do."

Dean stopped and looked up at his brother, Sam felt nervous. He really didn't know Dean would react.

"Okay," Dean said with a smile.

Sam was shocked, that had gone a bit too easy.

"You're fine with it?"

Dean nodded with a smile, "Yup."

"Oh."

"He's got to be nice to you."

"He is."

"You like him a lot?"

"Yeah."

"Sammy."

"Yeah?"

"I like Cass a lot, he's my bestest friend. Do you like Cass to?"

"He's nice," Sam said.

"He likes Tevy."

Sam smile, "That's good."

"Sammy."

"Yes?"

"Cass won't leave will he?"

Sam looked down at Dean, "What do you mean?"

Dean frowned, "If I mess up- if I'm not good enough- Cass won't go away, will he?"

Sam stopped and crouched down next to Dean; he lifted his brother's face up and looked him in the eye.

"Dean, Cass isn't going to leave you ever. Why would you think that you're not good enough? Dean you're an amazing person and-"

"Jericho left," Dean whispered.

Sam cocked his head to the side, "What? Who's Jericho?"

Dean shook his head, "Nobody. I wanna go play with Ellen and Jo."

Sam sighed, "Alright. Come here you need a hug."

Dean smiled as Sam pulled him into a hug.

"Sammy! That tickles," Dean squealed as Sammy tickled his sides.

"I know, it's supposed to," Sam laughed as he picked the little boy up and threw him over his shoulder.

Dean squealed happily, "Sammy!"

Sam laughed as he made his way downstairs with Dean.

 He'd find out about 'Jericho' later.

Maybe Gabe could look into it for him.

Might as well extort Gabe a bit.

                                                                                                //~*~\\\

 

Dean was running around the living room with his arms held out, making rather loud airplane noises, Jo was laughing and Ellen was snapping pictures left and right. Castiel was in the corner with his head cocked to the side trying to figure out what was so exciting about pretending to be an airplane which had Michael cracking up.

The atmosphere was relaxed; it had been like this for a few days.

Ever since Gabriel had locked the Hag away, everyone had been trying to keep Dean relaxed.

"I do not understand," Castiel, sighed as Dean "flew" around him.

Dean stopped and sighed, "Cass! You have to pretend."

"I know but why? I can fly already why not-"

"Sammy said I'm not allowed to go flying. He said that I could fall."

"I would never drop you," Castiel assured.

"I know but Sammy is a worry wart."

"Hey," Sam protested as he looked up from his book.

"It's true," Dean said with a shrug, "ask Addy."

"Yup, he's right" Adam agreed in a muffled tone from under the book that was laid across his face.

"I learned it all from you," Sam grumbled, "Right Adam?"

"Yup," Adam replied in a muffled tone.

Dean stuck his tongue out, "I'm a big brother! I'm a'pose ta be like that. Right Addy?"

"Yup," yawned the youngest Winchester boy.

Sam and Dean both rolled their eyes.

Dean, basically, bounced over to the couch that Adam was sprawled out on and lifted the book over his brother's face.

"Addy?"

"Sleepy, go nip at the moose's ankles," Adam grumbled as he waved Dean's hand away.

"I'm not a moose," Sam grumbled.

"You should go lay down," Jo suggested.

"What? And miss anything important? No, I'll pass."

"Addy-"

There was a sudden loud crackle sound from the kitchen that made everyone jerked around.

"What the hell?"

"Bobby, you expected anyone?"

"Nope," Bobby gruffed as he grabbed his nearby shotgun.

He, Sam, and Michael quickly made their way into the kitchen to find a battered Gabriel leaning against the counter.

"Gabe!"

Sam rushed over and caught the angel as he slumped forward.

"Gabriel?"

"What the hell happened to you boy? Sam, bring him into the living room," Bobby instructed as he made his way back to the living room.

Sam quickly did just that.

"Cass take Dean upstairs," Sam heard Ellen demand.

"What's wrong? Ellen, is Gabbie hurt?"

Sam winced as he heard the worry in his brother young voice.

"Nothing, just go upstairs with Cass," Ellen said gently.

"But what about Gabbie?"

"Dean," Bobby said sternly, "upstairs."

"But-"

"Come on Dean," Castiel said, "we will play with your cars."

"Fine," Sam heard Dean sigh.

The sound of wings, assured Sam that Castiel had taken the boy upstairs, he quickly laid Gabe down on one of the couches.

"Gabe?"

"Ouch," Gabriel mumbled.

"What happen to you? You look like hell," Adam said in a more lively tone.

Apparently, he was not so tired anymore.

"I met scroll keepers," Gabriel answered, "not a happy bunch. Very grumpy and extremely attached to their scrolls."

"Apparently, seeing as how they just about beat the tar out of you," Ellen pointed out.

"No I mean like the scrolls are literally attached to them, like around their necks. Getting them is not easy; these things have like the giant shark mouth. It's not pretty."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Gabe assured Sam, "just a bit beat up. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah Sam," Gabe sighed.

"What were you doing?"

Gabe sighed and sat up slowly, wincing a bit.

"I was trying to get info on the Hag," Gabe answered.

"What? You were helping-"

"Did you find anything?"

"I think the more important question is what the hell were you thinking? Damn it Gabe you could've been killed! You know how dangerous the scroll keepers are," Michael snapped.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Oh bite me."

"Gabe," Sam sighed, "if you would've told me how dangerous it was I would never-"

"I found out how to save Dean," Gabriel interrupted.

The room went quiet all eyes were on Gabriel.

"Alright, fill us in," Adam said breaking the silence.

Gabe sighed and leaned on Sam a bit, no one made any comments on that.

"Gabe?"

"We have to over load the spell," Gabe said.

"What? What do you mean over load the spell?"

Gabe looked at Michael, "We have to make Dean take us through as many memories as possible until we find the one, or two considering you, that makes him the perfect type of prey for the Hag."

"Why?"

"Because, if we can find those connections then we can cut them and break the Hag's hold on Dean. Then its bye-bye huge magical screw up and hello again to the grown up emotionally stunted, alcoholic, sex-manic, who's the world's only hope to killing Lucifer-"

"Gabe that's enough," Sam snapped.

Gabe sighed, "Sorry, nasty habit. Bad Gabriel."

"Dude," Michael snapped, "we are not doing that!"

"What? Michael this will save Dean."

"I don't care and I know that he'd feel the same way. I- Dean- doesn’t want anyone taking a trip down memory lane."

"Why?"

Michael looked over at Adam.

"What?"

"Why would you and Dean not want us doing something that could save you?"

"Because!"

"Because why Michael? You hiding something from us? It wouldn't be the first time now would it," Gabriel snapped.

"Listen you, you can play the pissy baby brother all you want Gabriel but this is one thing that I'm not gonna feel like shit over. My memories stay in the past where they belong and you find another way to fix this."

"That just it! Those memories aren't just yours, they're Dean to! Dean is our brother!"

"That's right and we want to help him!"

Michael got to his feet the living room shook as his eyes went white.

"Here's the thing, I am Dean. There's no damn distinction between us! There is no me without Dean and there is no Dean without me. Therefore, if you two want to help him it helps me but this- this won't help! I don't want anyone to see-" Michael stopped.

His voice lost the emotion and he sort of deflated, his eyes fell to the floor and he refused to look back up.

"Michael?"

"I don't want you and Adam to see," Michael whispered, "I-I want to keep the past in the past. I mean there has to be a different way."

"Sorry, no other way. It's this or a very shaky shot at gracing her to death," Gabriel assured.

Michael sighed and flopped down onto the overstuffed armchair next to the fireplace.

"How shaky is shaky?"

"Michael," Sam snapped.

Michael rubbed at his forehead and took a deep breath than shook his head.

"No. We aren't going through with this," Michael sighed.

"Michael-"

"NO! Screw that! Listen to me this ain't happening! So drop it!"

"But Dean-"

"I'll save myself, Sammy," Michael promised, "just not that way. There's things that-that I- I mean he- would rather you not know. Just please give me little while to fix this. I'm pretty sure-"

"Pretty sure? That's bullshit! Pretty sure is going to end getting Dean killed," Adam shouted angrily.

Michael shook his head, "You don't get it."

"I get it! You've got shit that you're hiding from us! You don't want us to see-"

Michael's eyes went white; he looked at the younger Winchesters.

"You don't get shit."

"Michael-" Gabriel started.

"No."

"You won't save Dean?"

Michael looked toward the stairs to see Castiel standing just at the bottom of them.

"Cass-"

"You refuse to save this persona of yourself- this human that is made from your very being? I don't understand."

"Cass, it's complicated," Michael, sighed.

"How? You have a chance to save yourself, too- to bring back the one human this world that actually seems to make sense while completely lacking reason. Dean is important; he is everything that you were before you lost yourself to save Lucifer. He's- he's important to me- to us. He has to come back; you have to bring him back. There's nothing complicated to it, only your selfishness and fear makes it complicated."

"Selfishness? Aren't you the pot calling the kettle black," Michael chuckled weakly, "don't you think it's a bit selfish to want to make us suffer just so you can have me back?"

"Suffer?"

Michael sighed, "I assure you little bird, I would rather be dead then let Sammy and Adam see just how screwed up we really are."

"Dean isn't screwed up! He's not! Stop, don't say that about him ever," Castile snapped.

Michael was taken back a bit by that, Castiel had never raised his voice to him like that, not Dean either.

"Cass-"

"Dean is an amazing person! He's my hero and don't you dare say anything bad about him ever again!"

Michael shook his head, "Cas don't- don't see me- Dean as a hero. I'm- he's, ah damnit! We're freaking screwed up! We're nothing but a huge mash up of this one screwed up soul this one idiot who thought that he might be able to break the fucking rules and make something good come out of it all! Look at what that led to! Lucifer is this twisted fucker with daddy issues who wants attention and to rebel, our family is up in Heaven ready to rip this damn world apart at a moment's notice, father is gone, and I'm utterly useless, because the body I left with the heavenly host for emergencies is trying to fucking take me back into it and burn me out! I have no fucking control over anything! I can't even keep myself safe from a fucking hag! As Dean I’m no better off! He started the entire fucking apocalypse shebang, he's lost so much, he's seen to fucking much, he-I- we were better off just dying! I thought that maybe things would be better as a human, I thought I could make things better for all of us, that I- never mind all that though, I fucked up even as the new me. I couldn't even- when they pulled me down to the pit, I- there was no escape, no way out I was- completely trapped inside. I wanted to bail out, to run away from this vessel, to get away, but I couldn't. This isn't just a vessel, this is me, I am Dean, I am just- weak, just like before. Christ, I couldn't- I was fucking forced to- I did such horrible- he-I-"

Michael couldn't form sentences after that he all but collapse back into the chair and dug his trembling hands into his shaggy hair.

He took in ragged breaths as the house shook again. His entire body shimmered; the shadows of his wings could be seen across the walls as the sounds of beating wings filled the room. He was having an emotional breakdown that would not end well, if the shaking of the house were an indication.

"Michael! Michael calm down!"

"I-I can't! I can't breathe!"

"Christ, kid you better not break my damn house," Bobby shouted over the clattering and slamming of the shutters.

"Michael, calm down you idiot! You have to calm down," Gabriel roared.

"I almost got you killed Gabe," Michael cried out in a shaky voice, "I wasn't there to keep you or the others safe. I left- I left to keep Lucifer safe, to make sure that we didn't lose him! I wanted-I wanted to make sure that the garrison didn't lose him. It was my job-my job to keep you all safe and I left. I left to full fill my selfish desire to be like him. To be human, I thought-I hoped, that once I showed you all how amazing it could all be that maybe than we could all be happy that-" Michael's voice cut off and his heavenly voice screeched through the house, shattering glass, rattling anything not nailed down, and causing everyone to drop to their knees and cover their ears.

"Michael!"

"Cas! Calm him down," Sam shouted.

Castiel and Gabriel where the only two not on the floor in pain, but even then, it was Michael, the sword of Heaven that they were dealing with.

Even as just a small spark of Grace he wasn’t something to be fooled with.

"Michael," Gabriel shouted, "stop it! You have to stop before you hurt everyone!"

The screeching heightened.

"Michael! You must stop this! Please Michael, please stop!"

There was no sign of stopping until the sound of a scream sounded out over Michael's screeching. Michael stopped; he looked up with fear written across his white eyes.

"MIKIE!"

"DEAN!"

Michael disappeared leaving silence and shattered glass in his wake. Castiel followed him, Gabriel stayed to make sure that Sam was alright.

"Dean," Sam gasped as he got to his feet and made a beeline for the stairs with Adam on his heels. Gabriel sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Damn Winchesters," he muttered as he disappeared.

//~*~\\\

 

Dean was sobbing in the corner of his room, clutching Chevy tightly.

 He didn't understand why the house was shaking, and he didn't like it.

He could hear the loud noise that sounded like Michael, he didn't like that either.

He wanted Sammy to come pick him up and hold him.

He wanted Addy to come and tell him that it was all ok.

He wanted Ellen and Jo to come and make him smile.

He wanted Bobby to come scare away the scary things.

He wanted Cas and Mikie to come protect him, but most of all he wanted Mommy and Daddy to come make it all better.

He wanted his Mommy, wanted her here right now.

She was supposed to be here to make everything better. He wanted someone to make him feel safe.

There were really only two people who could do that for him, one was dead and the other was just down stairs.

Dean clutched Chevy tighter and sucked in a lung full of air then screamed out as loud as he could.

"MIKIE!"

The screeching stopped and the house stopped shaking and then he heard Mikie yell back.

"DEAN!"

Dean opened his eyes as he felt a pair of arms wrap around him tightly, he looked up and locked eyes with Mikie.

Dean smiled even as he cried.

"Mikie," Dean whimpered, "I'm scared."

"I'm sorry Dean," Mikie whispered to him as he pulled him into a tight hug, "don't be scared. I've got you. You're safe. Nothing is going to hurt you."

Dean wrapped his arms around Mikie and pressed his face into the angel's shoulder.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Dean!"

Dean looked over Mikie's shoulder as he heard Sam yell for him. He could hear his little brother's heavy footsteps rushing down the hallway.

"Sammy?"

"He's okay," Castiel assured as he appeared out of nowhere, "he's just worried about you."

"Cass," Dean said happily.

"I'm sorry," Mikie said.

Dean looked at Mikie and saw the sadness on his friend's face.

"Mikie?"

"He's fine Dean," Cass assured as he walked over and put his hand on Mikie's shoulder, "he just got a little over whelmed. He needs a hug."

Dean smiled and hugged Mikie tightly, then smiled as he pulled back.

"Better?"

Mikie smiled, "Much better."

Dean looked up at Castiel, "You have to hug him to Cass. It works better when you get hugged a lot."

Castiel nodded with a small blush, "Very well."

He leaned down and hug Mikie gently then slowly pulled back and gave the man a quick peck on the lips.

"Better?"

"Lots," Mikie answered with a grateful smile.

Dean frowned, "Don't I get an all better kiss?"

Castiel blushed and stuttered a bit before Mikie saved him.

"You sure do," Mikie kissed Dean's forehead and then lifted him up for Castile to do the same.

Dean grinned happily after Castile kissed his forehead.

"All better," Dean said happily.

Sam burst into the room with Adam at his heels. Castiel had pulled back from Dean to look over at the two men.

"Is he-"

"He is alright Sam. Dean has calmed Michael and in return, Michael has calmed him as well. Everything is all right. In fact I believe that Michael may be in a much better state of mind now," Castiel assured.

Dean smiled, "We're okay Sammy."

Sam sighed, "That's good."

Dean looked up at Michael, who was still clutching him rather close.

"Mikie?"

"Hm?"

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," Michael assured.

" 'kay, I wanna go to Sammy."

"A-alright," Michael stammered as he let the boy go.

Dean made his way over to his brothers and hug Sammy's leg then Adam's as well.

"Was there an earf 'quake?"

"Um- no," Adam answered sheepishly, "Michael threw a tantrum and the house decided to do the hokey-pokey."

Dean giggled, "Mikie made the house do the hokey-pokey? That's silly!"

"Yeah, it was hilarious," Sam grumbled.

Dean's eyes lit up, "Hey! Cass, can you make the house do the hokey-pokey to!"

"Um-" Castiel was at a loss for words, "-I don't understand that reference. What is the hokey-pokey?"

Dean sighed and tugged at Adam's shirt, Adam leaned down and Dean whispered rather loudly in his ear.

"Cass isn't good at playing games."

Adam smirked, "No, he's better at scaring off hookers and lacking in the knowledge of modern day pop culture."

"Hookers?"

Sam whacked Adam rather hard across the back of his head.

"Smooth Adam," Sam hissed.

"What? Sorry! I forgot."

"Sammy what's a hooker?"

Sam sighed and quietly face palmed himself.

Great, they were already corrupting the kid and dealing with an emotionally unstable angel.


	11. Chapter 11

 

Michael sat quietly in the center of the demon safe house room.

Dean sat on the cot swinging his legs back and forth was Ellen and Sam sitting on either side of him.

Bobby was next to Adam, both were helping Jo salt the basement just outside of the demon panic room.

Castiel and Gabriel both stood near Michael, both looked a bit on edge.

Michael knew that neither of them knew what to expect. Sure they had managed to talk Michael into agreeing to the ceremony but Michael knew the neither of the other angels would ever admit that neither of them expected this to go well. They knew that even though this could very well be the only safe way that it could also go wrong and they could lose both Michael and Dean.

Michael wasn't worried about being lost, no, he was worried about what was about to be learned.

He was worried about the memories that would be seen.

He was worried about what the outcome would be.

He knew that it was rather stubborn to act this way, because really, this was the only safe way, but he knew the things that neither he nor Dean wanted to be seen. He knew that they could really change things. Make things more complicated, and really complicated was a bad factor to introduce to their life right now.

 Complicated could end the world, and that wasn't an over exaggeration.

"Don't stay in the past to long," Michael grumbled, "I would like it if I could come out of this with a few private things."

"Privacy is overrated," Gabriel assured as he sprinkled a bit more of the foul smelling plant around Michael.

"Says the guy who has been living in secluded privacy for eons," Michael grumbled.

Gabriel "accidentally" clocked Michael across his head as he walked passed him.

"OUCH!"

"Opps," Gabriel snickered.

"Gabe!"

"Sorry Sam," Gabriel sighed.

"Whipped," Michael taunted.

That led to a rather unforgiving kick to the thigh that left Michael's eyes watering a bit.

"Oh so sorry my foot has a mind of its own."

"Unlike its owner, who has his balls tucked safely in his boyfriend's pocket. Tell me did it hurt whenever Sam took your macho man card or were you already rolling over on your belly for him."

Gabriel didn't try to hide it this time he full out thwacked Michael across the head with scroll.

Michael hissed and gripped at his head as he rolled on the floor, cursing his brother.

"Son of a-"

"Just because you're in a pissy mood doesn't mean you can be an ass," Gabriel sighed.

"Michael, please act your age," Castiel sighed, "and Gabriel please cease harming Michael."

"Fine," both angels sighed, "but he started it."

Castiel sighed and rubbed at the throbbing spot between his brows. He was starting to understand why Sam had a lot of headaches.

"Alright have you three bickering old maids got this spell ready yet?"

"Yeah, basically," Gabriel answered, "Dean just needs to sit in the circle with Michael."

"But I don't wanna! I wanna go play," Dean whined as he clung to Sam's arm.

"Dean, come one this will be fun," Sam lied, "this will be a cooler game."

Dean looked right up at Sam and frowned.

"Sammy! You're lying! Daddy says lying is bad," Dean shouted, "Ellen Sammy is lying."

"Dean, sweetie, please do as your brother says. I'll scold him for lying later, I promise," Ellen responded gently.

Dean sighed, "Alright Ellen."

Dean held his arms up and let Sam pick him up, Dean felt his tummy jump and giggled.

"Sammy, that tickles."

Sam grinned and nuzzled his face against Dean's stomach, making the boy giggle. Sam chuckled and held Dean.

"Alright, are you ready to go?"

Dean sighed, "Yeah."

Sam smiled and kissed Dean's forehead as he walked over to Michael.

"Thank you."

Michael held out his arms to take Dean, the little boy smiled.

"Hiya Dee," Michael said happily.

Dean smiled as Michael took him and sat him down on his lap.

"Hi Mikie," Dean giggled as Michael rested his chin on the top of his head and wrapped his arms around him.

"Ready?"

Michael nodded, and Dean felt his arms wrap around him. Dean looked up and cocked his head to the side.

"Ready for what?"

Michael held Dean, close and kissed the top of his head.

"Don't worry, I'm just going to show them my wings Dean," Michael whispered, "remember how much you liked them? Well, I thought that you'd like to see them again and maybe everyone else would to."

Dean smiled and looked over at Sam and Adam, "Sammy, Addy! Mikie is gonna show you his wings! They are so pretty!"

Sam and Adam nodded.

Michael move his chin down to Dean's shoulder and smiled gently, he closed his eyes, not wanting the others in the room to see his worry.

"Hold on tight to me Dean," Michael whispered.

"Wha-"

Dean's voice broke off as large grey wings wrapped tightly around him and Michael, locking them out of sight of the rest of the room's inhabitants. The wings were wrapped so tightly around them that nothing inside could be seen.

 Sam was in silent awe, as were the other humans within the room.

"They're so big," Sam gasped.

Castiel blushed as he heard this, Gabriel stiffened and glared daggers at the wall cocoon of wings that belong to his older brother. Castiel actually inched away from the archangel a bit.

"Sam! Stop staring at his wings!"

"Huh?"

"My wings are just as big as his," Gabriel snapped.

"Whoa, why are you so mad?"

"I'm not," Gabriel huffed at Sam, "just- don't eye his wings like that."

"Um okay."

“Gabriel doesn’t mean to sound so rude, he simply dislikes the idea of you admiring another angel’s wing. Though I don’t think you have to worry, Gabriel, Sam clear holds no interest other than a slight sense of awe toward Michael’s wings."

"Huh? Um, subtitles," Adam staged whispered.

Sam blushed, "Basically a dick measuring contest."

Adam went red, "Wow, yup, could've gone without knowing that one."

"You asked," Jo chuckled.

"Really wishing I hadn't," Adam sighed.

"Alright grow up! Gabriel we should really get started," Ellen sighed.

Gabriel nodded, "Fine."

Castiel sighed and ended up rubbing at his temples again. The headache thing was getting worse. Castiel quietly took the scroll from his scalding brother and turned to the wall of wings. He admired them for a bit, they looked bigger than the last time he had seen them.

He blushed, he actually blushed, at the memories that came to mind, but the realization of where he was sunk in and he quickly cleared his throat before he began to read the spell.

Once he finished he closed the scroll and sat it down he turned to Gabriel.

"Alright," Castiel announced once the spell was read aloud, "we are ready."

"How do we know it’s working?"

Gabriel pulled out a small pendant and looked back at Adam with a smirk.

"Oh, believe me kid. You'll know."

Gabriel tossed the pendant at Michael's wings but it stopped mid-way, almost like it had hit a barrier.

"What the-"

Gabriel smirked, "Get ready to move back, Cassie."

"Don't call me that Gabriel," Castiel huffed.

"What only Dean and Michael can?"

"Yes," Castiel snapped, surprising his big brother.

"Well-"

Gabriel’s remark was drowned out as a loud screeching sound suddenly filled the room.

“Is this part of the ritual,” Adam yelled.

“I’m not sure,” Castiel answered back.

“Gabriel, what the hell is going on,” Sam yelled.

“Nothing good, I’m sure,” Gabriel yelled back.

Suddenly the room began to shake and filled with a whirlwind- the room creaked and moaned like it would cave in at any second.

“I’m starting to rethink doing this in my house,” Bobby yelled.

“Hindsight is 20/20,” Ellen yelled back.

A loud cracking sound had the room’s occupants jumping and focusing on the pendant once again, to area around was shattering- pieces of the world around it were falling away like broken shards of glass.

“Yeah,” Gabriel yelled, “nothing good at all.”

Castiel quickly moved back toward the humans of the room as a large crack ripped right down the middle of the invisible space that the pendant clung to.

Gabriel yelped out in surprise and quickly got to Sam's side as the whirled wind picked up.

"Hang on to something!"

Gabriel instantly clung to Sam, Castiel couldn't help but notice how Ellen's hand took hold of Bobby's and how Adam and Jo stood rather close.

"What are we expecting?"

"It won't be like the other times Sam," Castiel called over the loud winds, "this time we wouldn't be coming out until we have found the problems. We will be in the past for longer but the between times of each time jump will be shorter.”

"Alright," Sam yelled back, "are we still not going to be able to interact?"

"Yes, we're only observers. We can't effect anything that happens," Castiel answered.

"Great," Sam sighed.

The world around them suddenly twisted and then began to fade.

Castiel took a deep breath to prepare himself, he knew that this could be bad.

"Here we go kiddies! Remember the buddy system," Gabriel yelled out, "and keep all hand and feet inside the ride at all time!"

Castiel rolled his eyes, older brothers were so annoying.

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Castile felt the ground fall from under his feet and he felt a sudden falling sensation. He could hear shouts from the others as he fell, apparently, they didn't like the feeling of plummeting into darkness either.

Go figure.

Castiel felt the ground reconnect with his feet rather quickly in a very unpleasant way that sent him stumbling to his knees, hard.

He hissed at the feeling - it hurt.

Wait?

It hurt?

Castiel wasn't use to that.

He opened his eyes and found that he was on his knees in the middle of a street at night.

The pavement felt damp under his hands and he could feel the chill.

"Cass?"

Castiel looked over to find that Adam, Jo, Sam, and Gabriel were on the other side of the street, they all seemed to be attempting to regain their footing.

"Where the hell is Mom and Bobby?"

"I'm guessing they got stuck as the designated watchers," Gabriel sighed.

"What?"

"They had to stay behind to watch over the gate," Gabriel explained as he helped Sam up off his ass.

"Wait, I thought we were all going on this crazy trip down Dean's memory lane," Adam said.

"Sorry," Gabriel sighed, "that wasn't the case. We needed two to stay back and make sure no one decided to play peek-a-boo with Dean's past. No worries I explained it all to them before we started."

"What? Why weren't we told?"

"Because," Gabriel shrugged, "I didn't see the point."

"Asshole," Adam gripped.

"Crybaby," Gabriel shot back.

"Idiots," Castiel sighed as he went to stand up.

"You know," Gabriel sighed, "I think Dean is a bad influence on my baby brother."

"No worse than you are," Castiel sighed.

"Ha! See! Back sass! All from Dean-" Gabriel stopped short as the sound of a motor cycle gunning it broke the silence of the empty city street. All eyes turned as said cycle came barreling down the street heading straight for Castiel. It showed no signs of stopping and Castile showed no signs of moving.

"CAS! MOVE YOUR ASS!"

Castiel attempted to teleport out of the roaring cycle's path but to his horror, he didn't move.

"CASS! OUR POWERS DON'T WORK HERE!"

Castiel's eyes went wide, he couldn't move.

Castiel felt his pulse racing, it wasn't the good kind of pulse racing that he got either.

No, not the kind he got when Dean smiled at him, or when Dean called him Angel Face, or when Dean brushed up against him in passing.

No this was the bad kind, the kind he got every time Dean got hurt, or whenever Dean looked at him with anger, or the kind that came whenever Dean came back late after one of his binge drinking nights.

This was one of those times when Dean would pull him from danger and scold him for not thinking.

God, how he wished Dean was here to scold him for not moving, but that wasn't going to happen.

He was here to save Dean. He had to-

"CASTIEL!"

"You’re okay, angel face," a familiar voice assured gently.

Castiel looked up, it was too late to move.

The light was blinding, so he quickly closed his eyes and cringed, waiting for the impact.

Only it never came, no the closest thing he felt was a cold wind passed through him.

"Nothing here can hurt you Cass," Dean sighed, "really, you of all people should know these things. Get up Angel Face, you're fine."

Castile opened his eyes and looked around, expecting to see Dean standing next to him.

Sam and Gabriel were racing over to him with a frantic Jo pulling a stunned looking Adam along behind her.

Gabriel was the first to reach the young angel, he quickly pulled him to his feet and looked him over for any signs of wounds.

"Cass?"

"I'm- I'm okay?"

"Yeah you're fine," Gabriel sighed in relief, "next time try not to land on the road."

"Why isn't his road pizza right now?"

Castiel frowned at Adam, he wasn't sure what a 'road pizza' was but he didn't like it referring to him.

"Because nothing can hurt us here," Gabriel answered sheepishly as he dusted Castiel off.

"What? But then why were you freaking out? I mean you were panicking along with the rest of us," Sam pointed out frantically.

Gabriel shrugged and tried to hide his slight red face, "I wasn't sure that we couldn't get hurt. I was panicking based on that slight chance that being hit by an oncoming motor cycle here might have the same fatal effect on a body as it would out in the real world. It's nice to know that we don't become road pizza if a car decided to run us over while we are in here. Thank you for testing my theory Cass, now please know that if you ever scare me like that again I’m kicking your ass."

Castiel cocked his head to the side, "But my knees and hands hurt whenever I hit the pavement."

"That was a reflex feeling from the outside world. You only thought it hurt," Gabriel explained.

"But-"

"Please don't make me try to explain anymore," Gabriel sighed, "my brain hurts just thinking about. Just accepted it when I say that the mind sometimes fucks with everything else."

Castiel was just about to respond when he heard a familiar voice speak up from across the street.

"I told you no."

Castiel turned in the direction of the voice to see a short teenager in an over sized hoodie turning away from a rather large biker.

"Come on kid, no mouth is worth three hundred, no matter how sexy those little lips are," slurred the large drunkard.

"Fuck off! I told you the prices are not up for negotiations, you jack ass," the teen snapped as he tried to pull his arm out of the man's grasp.

"Come on now kid, don't mess with me. I'm not in the mood for bullshit."

"What a coincidence," the teen snapped, "neither am I. Let me go before I kick your ass."

Castiel saw it coming before the boy did, the man drew back his hand and smacked the kid hard causing his head to turn to the side and the hood that had hid his face to fall away.

Sam's gasped broke Castiel from his confused stupor, bringing him to the realization that the kid being manhandled before them was Dean.

Dean's lip was busted, a tiny stream of blood could be seen staining his swollen lips, the handprint stood out as a bright stinging red on his pale face.

It looked painful.

"D-Dean? What the hell is he-"

"You gave head to that other guy and I know for a fact he didn't get charged that much," the biker growled.

Dean didn't respond, he kept looking off to the side, almost as if he was dazed.

Castiel didn't like that look, he didn't like that the man touching Dean was causing him to have that look on his face.

"Are listening to me? Hey you little two bit whore! I'm fucking talking to you! What didn't your daddy teach you any-"

Dean moved fast, so fast that it took a second for Castiel to understand why the big man had stopped yelling, but the sharp glint of the streetlight hitting metal brought him to the realization that Dean had pulled a gun on the man.

Dean had the gun press rather snuggly to the man's crouch, so much so that the man was almost on his tiptoes to move away from the full pressure of the gun pressing into his crouch.

"Shut up you over grown piece of shit," Dean demanded in a deadly toneless voice, that had even Gabriel shivering in discomfort, "one more word about my dad and I'll make sure you leave here without your dangly bits. Try me, I dare you."

The biker swallowed hard, so hard that Sam could see the man's Adam's apple bob rather painfully.

"Listen kid- just put that away before-"

"You seem to have a problem with the concept of shutting up so let me help you with that," Dean growled.

With yet another faster than the speed of light movement Dean spun the gun around in his palm and slammed the butt of the gun into the big guy's face. Sam winced as the loud crack echoed all the way across the street. Dean jerked his arm from the dazed man's hold and took a few steps back, spinning the gun back around and aiming straight at the man's forehead.

"You little bastard," the man slurred as he stumbled a bit.

Dean's eyes went big as the dazed man actually stumbled forward, coming at him.

He reacted quickly and efficiently, Sam and Adam were both amazed as they watched their brother sweep the behemoth's legs out from under him and slam the butt of the gun against his head once again.

After time seemed to catch up with the teenage Dean, it met him as he loomed over the knocked out man with the gunpoint directly at his face and his chest heaving as he fought to breathe.

"You better be happy that you're human," Dean sighed as he put his gun away, "otherwise you'd be dead."

Dean squatted down and shook the guy, he was out cold though. Dean sighed and looked around for a moment then grabbed the guy by his shoulders. Dean quickly began to drag the man toward the nearby alleyway.

It amazed Sam how calmly Dean did all of this.

Dean propped the man against the dirty alley way and quickly searched through the guy's pockets. He pulled out the guy's wallet and took all of his money, even a condom, then turned and quickly left. The little peanut gallery watched as Dean eventually broke into a run and kept running until he was far from the alleyway and from that man.

Dean finally stopped, he bent over forcing air into his lungs and looked around before sighting a phone booth and stumbling inside of it. Dean sunk down against the glass, he shut the door and sat there fighting to catch his breath.

Something seemed odd though, his breathing was too frantic, even with the fact that he had been running. Adam was the first to realize what was wrong, he quickly made his way over to the phone booth, stopping only as he remember that he would just go through whatever he touched.

He squatted down on the other side of the glass then looked over his shoulder to the others.

"Sammy, Dean's hyperventilating," Adam said.

"What?"

"He's having a panic attack," Adam explained.

"Wh-what? There’s no way," Sam assured.

“He’s had them before,” Adam pointed out, “we may not have seen them but-”

“He can’t be. He’s never-” Sam was at a loss for words.

"Well we were pretty sure that he was never a prostitute,” Gabriel chimed in trying to push Sam out of his stupor, “but considering what we just saw and heard-"

"SHUT UP GABRIEL! SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW," Sam yelled.

Gabriel was shocked as Sam's anger broke loose.

“Sam-”

“This isn’t the place for you smart ass remarks,” Sam all but hissed.

Sam made his way over to Adam, he watched as his brother sat inside the phone booth with his legs drawn up to his chest fighting for air. Dean had his head laid back against the walls of the phone booth with his eyes closed tightly, he was saying something.

His lips were moving repeatedly, saying something that was a little hard to hear.

"What's he saying Sammy?"

"I'm not sure- wait is he-," Sam paused and listened closer then looked over at Adam.

"What is it?"

"I-I think he's reciting the *periodic tables*," Sam answered.

"What? Wait you're kidding me," Adam gasped.

"No, I'm serious," Sam assured.

"Why?"

"I don't know," Sam answered.

"Because he likes *Chemistry*," Castiel answered.

Sam and Adam turned back to Castiel, both looking surprised as hell.

"What?"

"Dean likes Chemistry," Castiel repeated, "didn't you two know that? He talks about it a lot actually. Whenever he works on the Impala I'll sit down and listen to him explain bits of it. He seems rather educated in Chemistry."

"Okay wait you're talking about this Dean right? I mean the same Dean who dropped out of high school and hates libraries?"

Castiel nodded, "Yes. What other Dean would I be talking about?"

Castiel almost sounded sarcastic, in fact if Sam didn't know any better he would've thought the angel was being sarcastic.

Only he did know better.

"Why was Dean- why did that man say that stuff," Jo spoke up.

All eyes went to her, the men took back into account what they had heard. It seemed like none of them really wanted to think about that.

"I- maybe he was lying," Adam spoke up, "Yeah! Dean would never do that. I mean sure he likes sleeping around a lot but- but Dean is not a hooker. He- he would never- I mean-" Adam stopped and looked down, he really was lost here.

Sure Dean was his big brother but he didn't know about Dean's childhood- he knew it sucked, but other than that, he really didn't know much. Adam looked over at Sam, his other big brother seemed very quiet. He seemed to quiet for a situation like this.

Why wasn't he assuring them that Dean would never-

"We were broke a lot," Sam whispered.

"What? Sam-" Jo broke off as Sam looked back at the Dean sitting inside the phone booth.

"Dad would always leave us money, but sometimes when he was gone longer- sometimes we ran out. I mean Dean never told me but I just sort of knew that we were running low of cash. It used to make me nervous. I use to be terrified that we wouldn't have enough money for food, but- but Dean always made sure that we got what we needed. I- I never knew how he got the money, but he did. Dean never let us- never let me- go hunger. He always seemed to bring home money. I never thought that he was- I just thought that he was pick pocketing or something, but I remember him coming home a few times looking beat up or- different. I- I just thought that-"

Sam stopped, he couldn't say anymore, couldn't handle thinking of something like that.

No, Dean would've never-

"Had to do it," Dean gasped.

Everyone looked to the boy inside the phone booth.

"It was for Sammy. I'm not- I'm not a whore," Dean whispered in a trembling voice, "I'm just- just making sure my little brother has food. I'm not a whore, I'm a good brother."

Dean took a deep breath as he talked himself down. He ran his hands through his shaggy hair and gripped it between his fingers.

"It was just a blowjob Dean," Dean whispered to himself, "you only did it for the cash. It- your not- just stop being a big baby! You gotta get it together! You have to you idiot! You can't have a break down session out here, you have to call and check on Sammy. Sammy, Dean, remember Sammy!"

Castiel frowned as he listened to Dean vocally try to calm himself down. This was his Dean, this was- this was his Dean as a terrified kid. A kid freaking out on the inside and outside. A kid who- who did too much to keep his little brother fed.

Dean rubbed his hands over his face, wincing as they touched his lip. He pulled his hand away from his face and grimaced as he saw the blood on his hand. He gently touched his finger to his lip and winced as his finger swiped over the cut there.

"Sammy isn't gonna like that," Dean sighed as he stood up and reached into his pocket.

He grabbed a quarter and slipped it into the phone then dialed the number to their motel. He leaned back against the wall of the phone booth and took in a deep breath, he held it for a moment counting the rings mentally then let it out as Sammy's little voice answered.

"Hello?"

Dean smiled as soon as he heard Sam's voice.

"Hey Jude," Dean answered using the password that he and Sam had made up.

He always said that over the phone so Sam knew that it was him.

"Dean! You're really late! Where are you, I was worried that something had happened," Sammy ranted in his squeaky eleven year-old voice.

Dean chuckled, "Hey chill out Mother Sammy. I'm fine, promise. I'm sorry I'm running late tonight. I had to- to work late. I'm gonna grab some food on the way in, you want anything specific, kiddo?"

It was amazing how the panicking teen that had sat before them only seconds ago had switch over to Dean. The Dean they knew, the Dean who was solid as a rock and tougher then nails. It was a complete Jackal and Hyde. It just proved how good Dean was at hiding things. It was heart breaking really.

Sam felt his stomach flip-flop as he watched and listened to Dean talk to his younger self.

Adam felt like he really didn't know Dean as well, he felt like he hadn't even scratched the surface of his oldest brother's life.

Gabriel felt that Dean deserved a bit more respect, really, the kid would do anything for Sam.

Jo felt like an intruder, she felt like seeing this made her realize that Dean and Sam had had it harder then she had realized.

Castiel- he didn't understand why his chest hurt or why he wanted so badly to hold this Dean. These emotions were confusing.

"I want Lucky Charms, please," little Sam answered.

Dean smiled, "Well I knew the Lucky Charms are a must. Dude you've eaten those since before you had teeth. You're the original Lucky Charms monster."

Sam laughed and Dean felt his heart soar.

"Alright, well hey, I'll be home in a little bit. Keep the doors and windows locked and keep an eye on the charms and salt lines."

"Alright Dean" Sam promised.

"Kay, see you in a bit. Bye."

"Right, bye Dean."

Dean hung up the phone and laid his head against the glass wall. His smile went away and he look haggard. He looked older than he should.

"Dean," Sam whispered.

Dean took a moment, then slammed his fist against the glass. He hit it hard enough to bust the skin across his knuckles and cause a few specks of blood to stain the glass.

Jo and Adam winced, Castiel and Gabriel frowned, and Sam looked away.

"Come on Winchester," Dean sighed, "you've got a few more things to get done before you can go hide in the motel bathroom."

Dean left the phone booth behind, he pulled his hood back up and slipped his hands into his pockets like nothing ever happened.

He was good at that.

Sam and Adam stood up neither one spoke.

"He used the periodic tables to calm himself down," Jo spoke out suddenly.

"Huh?"

Jo looked up as the boys looked back at her, she frowned and looked down at her hands.

"When he was reciting the periodic table," Jo answered, "he was using it like you would use counting backwards from ten. As a distraction, as something to keep him focused and to make sure that he didn't lose it."

"How do you know that?"

Jo shrugged, "Some of the hunters that came to the bar had to do that. One time one of the hunters flipped out and he started humming this song. I asked him about it later and he said that it was something he did to keep himself from letting the panic take over. He said that it always worked pretty well. I guess Dean recites the periodic table."

Castiel turned to Sam, "Why did he call you Jude?"

Sam looked away he, cleared his throat before he managed to speak.

"Our mom- she use to sing that to us. It was her lullaby for us. Whenever Dean had to call me, he always said that. I was our password, he did it to make sure I knew it was him."

Gabriel took a breath, breaking the tense air and bringing all eyes to him.

"Alright let's get moving. Dean is already gonna be super pissed that we saw this, we really shouldn't linger too long. Jeez, who knows how pissed the squirt is gonna be when he finds out we were snooping around. So for safety reasons, let's keep up with the kid. I mean we're here for a reason so we should see what it is we need to know," Gabriel huffed as he followed after Dean.

Jo caught on quick and nodded, "He's right. We should-"

"Yeah let's go," Adam and Sam agreed.

The boys quickly followed after Jo and Gabriel, Castiel lagged behind looking at the blood stained glass. His chest hurt.

He put his hand over his heart and pressed against the ache there.

He didn't like this, didn't like feeling the pain there.

He wanted his Dean, wanted to protect him from this.

He wanted to hear his Dean call him Angel Face. He liked the soothing effect that had on him. He wanted to hear Dean tell him not to worry.

Honestly, he wanted to be comforted by Dean.

He needed that.

_It's ok Angel Face. Promise its okay._

Castiel looked around quickly, he was sure that he had heard-

"Castiel come on!"

Castiel sighed and quickly followed after Adam and Sam. He had to focus.

Dean seemed to be pretty determined to find Sam some Lucky Charms, he had looked over the cereal section twice. He was currently searching behind the fruit loops.

"Come one! Damn it, I know this stupid grocery store has got to have some freaking Lucky Charms somewhere! I mean come on what store doesn't have Lucky Charms!"

Dean sighed as he leaned back against the buggy and rubbed at his forehead. He was exhausted, tonight had been a train wreck. First, he had gotten kicked out of the bar after pissing off the jerks at the pool tables and hustling the idiots out of a measly thirty bucks, then, he ended up having to pick pocket for a while, only to get caught by a sadistic asshole and almost get the shit kicked out of him, finally he ended up doing the one thing he always saved as a last resort- pimping himself out for blowjobs and other not so nice things. That's how he had ended up being tall, bald, and bitchy's punching bag. Dean had given a customer the oral treatment and gotten a nice whopping sum of fifty bucks out of that (not as much as last time but they were real low on cash and Dad hadn't called in four days, so beggars couldn't be choosers) but in the after math the wrong type of person had caught him walking away from the "business transaction" and said wrong person being drunk and horny had gotten rather grabby and aggressive. Dean really hated guys like that, they always wanted full out sex. Dean wasn't stupid when it came to sex, but he was a virgin. Sure it was pretty far-fetched, he had hardly believed it himself, but he had never slept with anyone. Chick or otherwise. Dean honestly couldn't stand the thought of sex, it just didn't hold much for him. It was an act that he out on for desperate measures and that was it. Sex wasn't something Dean looked forward to, sure he got attraction and well- lust wasn't foreign to him, but sex was just- just not his cup of tea.

Dean went to chew at his lip but the sharp throb of pain reminded him of the busted lip that he was sporting. Dean sighed and looked up in frustration, that's when he saw the red box with the leprechaun sitting on the top shelf. Dean couldn't reach the damn thing, not without growing two feet.

He hated being short, it sucked.

"You've got to be kidding me," Dean sighed, "this night keeps getting worse."

Dean looked around only to find the aisle empty, that was to be expected, sure it was a 24 hour store, but really not many people were out at midnight.

Dean sighed and stood on his tiptoes in a fruitless effort to reach the box.

He didn't even touch the box. Dean quickly yanked the half full buggy closer to the shelf and used it to climb up toward the box.

Dean's fingers brushed the box but in his excitement he leaned to far-foreword and the cart rocketed out from under him. Dean yelled out as he began falling toward the hard title floor.

He closed his eyes waiting for the impact but it never came.

No instead he felt arms wrap around him.

"Whoa kid you shouldn't be climbing shopping carts. It can lead to these life threatening situations."

Dean opened his eyes and looked up, instantly locking eyes with a tall, blue eyed, dark haired, teen. The gentle yet stern smile on the older boy's face caused Dean's pulse to quicken and his face to heat up.

Yeah, attraction was really an accessible thing to him.

This guy was proof of that.

"I-I um," Dean stammered dumbly as the boy stood him back up.

Dean felt rather- idiotic to put it lightly.

He cleared his throat and noticed that his cart had rolled a few inches down the aisle.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," Dean answered.

"What were you doing?"

Dean blushed a darker red, "Trying to reach the Lucky Charms box."

The boy chuckled as he looked up, he reached up and took hold of the box, Dean felt like a dwarf by the time the boy held the red box out to him.

"This?"

"Yeah," Dean said.

"Well, here you go. Say, why are you out so late?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm running a quick earn is all," Dean answered.

"Aren't you a little young to be out by yourself? Where's your parents?"

Dean frowned, "I'm fourteen. I'm plenty old enough to be out late on my own. My dad is..um at home."

"Oh, sorry you just looked younger. Now that I look at you though, you look a bit older then what I thought. Fourteen is still pretty young though."

"No it's not," Dean huffed.

The guy laughed and Dean yanked the box from his hand then turned to his buggy.

Screw that guy, he was a jerk.

Dean felt a hand on his shoulder, gently stopping him.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off."

Dean looked back, his eyes looked with those baby blues again and his stomach somersaulted. He wanted to stomp off but- something in those eyes stopped him.

Dean sighed, "Its fine."

"Good. So what's your name?"

"Um what? Hey listen thanks for saving me from going splat on the floor but weren't you at school on the day McGruff the crime dog showed up and told everyone not to give your name out to strangers?"

The boy smiled, "Alright fair enough. I'm Jericho *Smith*, now you know me."

Dean rolled his eyes, "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way."

"Fine, I'll just call you kid."

Dean frowned, "Dean. My name is Dean."

"Dean? I like it, very cool."

"Um- thanks?"

"No problem, um so can you tell me something?"

"Depends what is it?"

"Well you see I'm supposed to meet my uncle up here. He and I are supposed to go check on one of his friend's kids and well, I got lost on the way there. You wouldn't happen to know where the Rowlett Motel is, would you?"

Dean blinked in surprise a few seconds then nodded.

"Uh yeah, I um I'm actually staying there," Dean answered dumbly without thinking.

He winced and inwardly cursed himself.

He shouldn't be telling strangers where he was staying!

Jericho smirked, "Really? Cool! Could you should me where they are? My uncle is gonna be pissed if I don't show up. He's majorly over protective and well he thinks I'm an airhead as it is so he'll probably have a stroke if I'm too late."

Dean blushed as Jericho stood rather close to him.

"Um sure I'll show you how to get there."

"Really! To cool Dean, you are a life saver!"

Jericho hugged Dean, and Dean felt his legs go weak as he felt the wash board abs just under Jericho's loose shirt.

 Oh yeah attraction was defiantly a factor here.

"No-no problem, Jericho."

Jericho was all grins as he followed Dean through the checkout line, Dean sighed in relief as he found out that he had just enough for the large amount of groceries he had bought.

First lucky break of the night.

On the way out Dean noticed something of the corner of his eye, he stopped and thought for sure he saw someone duck around the corner.

"Dean?"

"Huh?"

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, just thought- never mind."

"Okay, hey I'm parked right over here," Jericho stated as he pushed the buggy toward his car.

Jericho was parked around the side of the store, there were a few good street lamps but it was for the most part dark- it was about the time that Dean couldn’t see the front door to the store anymore that he started to rethink things.

Dean paused for a second, sure he didn't want to get in the strange hot guy's car but he was heading his way and it would suck to carry all those sacks back to the motel.

Plus, if Jericho tired anything. Dean was carrying a gun and shooting the guy was an option.

Shooting the hot guy would suck but Dean could do it if it came down to it.

Dean sighed and started to head toward the car, only he was grabbed by his shoulder and whirled around so fast his head spun before he could even take a step forward.

Once he was fully turned around he was met with a fist to his stomach that left him gasping for air followed by a punched to the face that had his vision dancing.

"You little bastard!"

Dean looked up as he heard that voice, the taller biker came into view and this time he looked a lot more sober and he had a friend with him.

"I'm gonna take that cash you stole form me out on your ass! Then I'm gonna make you sorry for hitting me," the bikes growled.

Dean felt sick, he could feel something warm sliding down his face, he was pretty sure that it was blood and it left him with a paralyzing.

His head felt clouded and he felt a little slow and sloppy in his movements.

This wasn't good.

Oh shit.

"Me and my friend here are gonna enjoy this, you little shit," the biker chuckled.

Dean was slammed against a nearby car, he felt panic surge through him as the biker began to yank at his pants.

No one would see the attack, it was too dark and they were too far away from the store front.

Did Jericho even notice that he wasn’t behind him anymore?

Was anyone going to help him?

Panic clawed at him.

Dean yelled out and started thrashing wildly.

No!

NO!

He couldn't let this man touch him.

No, not like this.

No!

Dean's pant were undone and the man as about to yank them down when a loud thump cut him short.

The biker jerked around to find Jericho standing over his friend with a baseball bat in his hand and a pissed off look on his face.

"Let the kid go you asshole," Jericho growled.

"What the hell! You smug son of a bitch, what do you care about at two- bit whore?"

Dean felt like he was going to throw up, he felt sick to death.

He didn't want Jericho to know.

He didn’t even know the guy, but just the thought of him knowing had Dean feeling like shit.

He didn't want him to know that he was just a dirty whore- that he-

"He's no whore. That kid is just a kid. Leave him alone you disgusting son of a bitch."

The biker looked rather pissed he let Dean go. Dean fell to the ground and quickly did his pants back up. He looked up in time to see the biker running at Jericho with a knife.

"JERICHO!"

He watched as the older teen danced out of the way and brought the bat down hard on the man's head. The man dropped instantly as the metal bat collided with his skull.

Dean's eyes went wide as he heard the sickening thud.

He felt his chest tighten.

The biker had to be dead, that force had to kill him.

He was dead.

Dead.

Dean clutched at his chest, his heart raced.

His lungs tightened.

Dean couldn't breathe.

Dead the guy would've killed him.

The biker was going to rape him, to hurt him, but he was dead.

Dead because of him.

Dean was gasping for air now, fighting the panic.

"H, hydrogen, the lightest element. Atomic number: 1. Atomic weight: 1.00794 (7). Standard gas: gas at 298 k. Group 1, period 1, block s. He, helium. Atomic number: 2. Atomic weight: 4.002602 (2). Standard gas: gas at 298 k. group 18, period 1, block p. Li. Lithium. Atomic number: 3 Atomic weight: 6.941 (2) Standard state: solid at 298k. Group 1, period 2, block s -" Dean broke off as he found that it wasn't working.

His body shook painfully.

His chest and ling felt like an elephant was sitting on them.

He couldn't fight it off this time he couldn't breathe.

"Dean! DEAN!"

Dean felt a pair of arms wrap around him, his chin was lifted up and Jericho was there looking into his eyes.

"Dean? Dean what's wrong! Dean talk to me kid."

"Pan-panic at-attack-" Dean stuttered.

He couldn't talk whenever this happened, he reverted to his stuttering. The stuttering that came after seeing his mom burn to death. Dean stuttered hard for months after he lost his mom, so he didn't talk much. Not talking hid the stutter. It went away, but with each panic attack it came back with a vengeance.

Jericho pulled Dean into his lap and pressed his hand to Dean's chest as he held him.

"Dean, listen to my voice," Jericho said calmly, "focus on my voice."

"Ca-Ca-can't. Hur-hurts. Ca-Can't b-b-breathe!"

"Yes you can just listen to me. Listen and breathe. I've got you, listen and breathe."

Dean shook harder but nodded.

_"Wise men say only fools rush in_

_But I can't help_

_falling in love with you_

_Shall I stay_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help_

_Falling in love with you."_

Dean's eyes went wide, there was no way this guy was singing Elvis songs to him in the middle of a freaking parking lot while he was having a panic attack!

What the hell!

_"Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes_

_Somethings are meant to be."_

Dean could feel his body relaxing. He was focusing on the song, he had something to focus on. Something to push back the panic with. Dean focused with all his might on Jericho's voice.

The guy had a very angelic voice.

Dean loved it.

_"Take my hand_

_Take my whole life to_

_For I can't help_

_Falling in love with you."_

Dean relaxed fully, his chest loosened, his lungs accepted air again without any problems, and he didn't feel the anxiety anymore. He quietly listened to Jericho sing the rest of the song while he caught his breath.

After Jericho finished they both sat quietly for a long time, until Dean broke the silence.

"Elvis?"

"Hey he's the King. Plus his music can sooth anything, apparently even panic attacks."

"You are weird."

"See I'm not gonna argue with that, because I try not to argue with kids who are packing heat. Dude is that a revolver in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

"Your taste in jokes border on tacky considering what just happened," Dean sighed.

"Oops, oh um sorry. Fill free to shoot me for that one."

"I'll take a rain check."

"Fine with me. So you think you can stand?"

Dean responded by getting to his feet to fast and tilting back over.

Jericho caught him and gently helped him over to his car.

"You know if you wanted to fill me up you could've just asked," Jericho chuckled.

"Once again tacky with the current events and all," Dean sighed with no venom as he was sat in the passenger's seat.

"Shit, sorry. Foot in mouth."

Jericho climbed in behind the wheel and glanced over a few times at Dean.

"You okay? I mean your face is bleeding."

"Just head west. My brother is good at stitches," Dean mumbled.

"Really? Cool so is my uncle."

"Really? What's your uncle do for a living?"

Dean had asked that more to get the conversation off of him.

He was tired and his nerves were shot to hell, he wasn't sure if things would just slip out in his current state.

"He works in a junkyard and fixes cars."

"Cool," Dean mumbled, "I like cars a lot."

"Really? Then you'd love my uncle's friend’s car. It's a 1967 Chevy Impala."

Dean's eyes widened at that, he looked over at Jericho.

"Dean?"

"What's your uncle's name?"

"Oh, Bobby. Bobby Singer."

Dean smirked, "Damn, small world."

"Huh?"

"Bobby's friend wouldn't happened to be named John Winchester would it?"

"Wait how did you-"

"He's my dad. Christo," Dean said in one lungful of air.

"I'm not a demon," Jericho snorted, "Christ! You're John's kid? Dude I expected you to be older. A freaking fourteen year old shouldn't be well known for hunting demons and shit!"

"Hey, told you, fourteen is old enough. How old are you anyway?"

"Sixteen. John doesn't know about the prostitute thing does he? Because if this is a thing I can’t promise that there won’t be a repeat performance with that bat over the back of his head, only I won’t just knock him out."

So the guy wasn’t dead- that made Dean’s stomach unclench a little.

"No, and I only do that if we need the money when he's gone for too long. D-Don't tell please. I-I couldn't handle Sammy or Dad knowing."

Jericho was quiet for a few moments, then he glanced over at Dean.

"I won't tell, but it stops. Never again."

Dean nodded, "Alright."

"Good, now the panic attacks happen a lot?"

"No- not really."

"Uh huh," Jericho sighed.

"I can usually keep them under control."

"Periodic table?"

"I like chemistry," Dean answered.

"Didn't seem to work to well," Jericho pointed out.

"It was a bad one, "Dean explained.

"Elvis worked pretty well."

"It helped a lot. When you out your hand over my chest and thumped out a rhythm it helped to," Dean admitted.

"I had to get your heart to follow a certain beat. I was moving too fast," Jericho explained.

Dean nodded, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. Stitching up that cut it gonna be a bitch. By the end of the night you might hate me."

"Dearly noted."

Adam and Sam were silent as they watched Jericho help Dean out of the car up to the apartment.

Sam had only seen Dean ever have one panic attack and it had been terrifying, but it paled in comparison to this one.

He had nearly lost it watching Dean freak-out like that, his mind just wanted to keep assuring him that Dean was okay and not having a break down in a phone booth.

 Castiel had all but lost it watching the biker try to hurt Dean.

 It had not be fun observing all of that.

No it was hard and emotionally frustrating.

"I didn't realize that Jericho saved him that night," Sam whispered as he watched Bobby open the door and the younger version of himself go pale as Dean walked into the apartment with blood on his face. He remembered when Dean had come home with Jericho.

Jericho had said that he with driving around trying to find the apartment complex when he saw this kid getting attacked.

He had said that he pulled over and helped the kid.

Even offered him a ride home, imagine his surprise when he found out the kid was Dean Winchester.

It had been a good alibi, Bobby and Sam had believed it.

Sam had even believed the part that Dean had made up about the pissed off guys being some guys he'd hustled out of some money in pool.

Neither of them had had a reason not to believe the two, but now they knew the truth.

Jericho had saved Dean.

"Dude who is that Jericho dude?"

"He was Dean's best friend," Sam answered as memories of the guy came flooding back to him mind," and Bobby's nephew. He was a second big brother to me. His parents had been killed by demons when he was seven, he had been living with his grandpa, hunting with him up until his grandpa died. This was when he first moved in with Bobby."

"Wait why haven't I ever met this Jericho guy?"

Sam looked over a Jo and frowned, "Jericho died back when Dean was nineteen. They were on a hunt and- well all I know is Jericho got hurt real bad and died that night. Dean never talked about it after it happened. He just never told us what exactly happened."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Adam all but whispered.

"It’s okay you didn’t know," Sam assured, "it all tore Dean up really bad and Bobby wasn’t too good after it happened either. We just don’t talk about him much."

Castiel looked toward Jericho, he watched as the older teen cleaned up Dean's wounds with a gentleness that reminded him of the way Dean touched him.

Did that mean that-

"So he's the reason that we're here?"

Castiel turned to Gabriel, the Archangel seemed to be thinking something over.

"What?"

"This guy's important," Gabriel pointed out, "he's the reason that we are here."

"Why do you say that? I mean it could be the other things we witnessed," Adam stated.

Gabriel shook his head, "No, it's this guy. He's important."

"Gabe?"

"I'm sure of it."

Castiel watched as Dean blushed as Jericho gently looked him over.

Castiel didn't like that.

He didn't like seeing Dean being touched liked that by anyone else but him.

Castiel didn't like Jericho very much.

"Dean?"

Dean turned away from Jericho and gave his brother a gentle smile.

"Yeah Sammy?"

"Are you okay? They didn't hurt you bad did they?"

"I'm fine Sammy. I just got a few bumps and scrapes, please don't worry."

Sam looked down and sniffled, Dean frowned and pulled Sammy into a hug.

"I fine Sammy. Don't get upset. I'm like batman remember. I can take anything," Dean assured with a grin.

"But you got hurt."

"Not bad."

"No but-"

"Sammy, I promise you, I'm okay. Those jerks just got in a few good punches. Other than that I'm alright. Right Jericho?"

"Yeah Sam, Dean all good. You got one tough brother there. This dude is super batman."

Dean smirked and turned back to Sam, "See?"

Sam nodded and yawned.

Dean frowned, "You tired?"

"A little?"

"Why don't you head on to bed?"

"I can't sleep-"

"Why not?"

"Just can't," Sam answered.

Dean nodded, he understood, it was nightmares. Dean had them more than Sam, but Sam could never sleep without someone there to scare off the dreams, Dean couldn't either, but he had master smothering his screams into his pillow.

Sam hadn't and if Dean could help it he wouldn’t have to.

Dean usually sleep with Sam to help him sleep better.

"Hey Bobby, you can take Dad's room and Jericho you can have my bed."

"What about you?"

"I'll bunk with Sammy," Dean explained, "it's no big."

"Alright," Bobby and Jericho agreed.

"We can hit the hay and talk in the morning," Dean added.

"Sounds good kid," Bobby agreed.

"Right."

Dean nodded and stood up pulling Sammy along.

"Dean?"

"Bedtime Sammy."

Sam nodded, "Alright."

Deana and Sam made their way into their room and climbed into bed.

Dean let Sam lay down and snuggle to him and then he put his arm around his little brother.

"Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you sing the song?"

"Yeah, if it's help you sleep," Dean whispered.

Sam nodded and Dean closed his eyes.

_"*Hey Jude_

_Don't make it bad_

_Take a sad song and make it better_

_Remember to let her into your heart_

_And you can start to make it better_

_Hey Jude don't be afraid_

_You were made to go out and get her_

_The minute you let her under your skin_

_And you begin to make it better_

_And anytime you feel a pain_

_Hey Jude reframe_

_Don't carry the world upon your shoulders_

_Oh well you know that it's a fool_

_Who play it cool_

_By making his world a little colder_

_Hey Jude*."_

Dean could feel Sam relax in his arms. Dean smiled as he broke off into a low hum of the song.

He kissed the top of Sam's head and held his brother closer.

He would do anything for him.

Anything.

The world went dark around them. Castiel watched as Dean disappeared from his view.

"Gabe?"

"We're moving to the next important memory," Gabriel explained.

"I hope it's not as dark," Jo whispered.

"Me to," Sam whispered.

"I just don't want to see another one where someone hurts Dean," Castiel stated.

"You and us both Cass," Adam assured.

Castiel didn't look at the others.

He was too busy trying to focus on the fading sound of Dean's humming.

It was calming and that's what Castiel wanted.

He wanted Dean to calm him.

He wanted Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Chemistry- In Dean's bio thing is says he's good at chemistry I just took it up a notch. Excuse any incorrect use of chemistry things in this fic. I am not good at it.  
> *Smith- I know in the episode 'It's a terrible life' Smith was used as Dean's last name b/c of this fact that smith & wesson go a long with Winchester (it's all guns and ammo ppl) but I wanted a little more meaning to it so we have Jericho Smith!   
> *Hey Jude, you can not tell me that Mary won't use this as a lullaby for the boys. I made it so.


	12. Chapter 12

 

The first thing that Adam was aware of was the sound of frantic breathing; the second was that wherever he was that it was very dark.

 

"Jo? Sammy?"

 

"Adam, I'm right here," Jo whispered as she took his hand.

 

"Where's Sammy?"

 

"Over here Adam," Sam answered.

 

"Why is it so dark?"

 

"I'm not sure, just stay put," Sam said, "I'm sure things will-"

 

"DEAN!"

 

Light filled the darkness, turning into an almost blindingly bright light.

 

Adam winced jerking his face away and bumping into his big brother. Sam pulled Adam close, almost like he was trying to shield him. Jo noticed it just barely as she hide her face from the light.

 

"Dean wake up!"

 

Everyone turned to see Dean laying on the floor with blood pouring from his head, Michael was standing over him- both looked to be thirteen. Michael looked frantic as he woke up the bleeding and groggy looking Dean.

 

"I-I'm awake. Stop shaking me Mikie," Dean slurred.

 

"Are you okay? Dean, look at me," Mikie demanded as Dean staggered to his feet.

 

Mikie was at the bleeding boy's side, keeping him on his feet.

 

"What happened?"

 

"That thing- it hit you really hard Dean. You're really hurt; I think we need to get you somewhere safe."

 

Dean laid his head over on Michael's shoulder; blood was pouring off his head, staining his own shirt and actually dripping on to the floor.

 

"Wh'er's Sam'y," Dean slurred as Michael pulled him along.

 

Michael didn't answer, he simply continued to pull Dean along, leaving the ruined living room of the house, they had been squatting at behind. Michael didn't want to answer that question.

 

No, he didn't want Dean to do something stupid.

 

"Mikie?"

 

He still didn't answer, and that's when Dean began to panic.

 

"Where's Sammy! Where's Sammy, Mikie, tell me now!"

 

The slur was less prominent as Dean's panic rose.

 

Michael quickly slowed their pace and leaned Dean against one of the walls. He lifted Dean's face and looked into his eyes, his pupils didn't look right. Dean had a very serious concussion, Michael could tell. He could also tell that Dean wasn't doing as well as he thought. Michael could feel that things were wrong.

 

His Grace was just barely healing Dean, his spine had been healed- the thing that had hit him had severed it completely, his skull wasn't smashed opened anymore- obvious fact, considering that Dean's brains were no longer leaking out onto the floor.

 

Michael could only thank his Father that Sammy and John had been taken, before seeing how bad off Dean was. It was a good thing that they had only seen him get hit, anything else would've probably sent poor Sammy into hysterics.

 

Hell, Michael had been reduced to a sobbing mess as he sat trying to fix Dean. He was sure that seeing Dean clinging to life in such a broken state had emotional scarred him. Michael had only been this terrified once before and that time it had been because of Gabriel.

 

Michael was snapped from his thoughts as Dean leaned to the side and began to throw up violently. Michael quietly soothed the boy, he hummed the song that he had heard Mary sing to Dean when he was just a baby and rubbed his back.

 

Once Dean stopped retching, Michael wasted no time in getting them on the move again. He quickly began to pull Dean along, working his way to the makeshift panic room that John had thrown together, it had been Dean and Sammy's bedroom since John had left on his hunt less than a week ago.

 

Michael kept his guard up, he knew that there had to be more than one creature. The attack had been more a pack strategy. It had taken more than one idiot to pull this plan together, otherwise Dean wouldn't have fallen for it.

 

“Mikie,” Dean sobbed in gasping breaths, “it hurts.”

 

Michael pulled Dean closer and assured him that it was going to be okay.

 

"I've got you Dee," Michael whispered, "just let me figure this out."

 

Michael quickly kicked open the door and pulled Dean into the room. He sat the hurt and confused boy down on the poor excuse for a mattress that Sammy had been fast asleep on less than fifteen minutes ago.

 

Michael couldn't believe it, fifteen minutes was all it had taken for all hell to break loose.

 

Damn, it was almost exactly, like what happened with Gabe.

Michael quickly locked the door and re-salted the door. He took a deep weary breath as he made his way back to Dean's side, he was so tired. It was taking far too much out of him to keep this up.

 

Michael didn't have much of his Grace left, just enough to keep Dean and himself hidden.

 

Staying solid- well solid in the sense of just interacting with Dean- took a lot of energy. He could do it in small amounts.

 

Back when Dean was younger- before his own soul began to thrive and absorb Michael's own life source- he had been able to do anything, now he was lucky to move a lock of Dean's hair or heal a scraped knee.

 

So all of this was draining him near empty, he felt weak.

 

Weightless.

 

Like he was drifting off somewhere.

 

Michael took a shaky breath as he laid down next to Dean and wrapped his arms and his fading wings tightly around the trembling and pale boy.

 

"I don't feel good," Dean whispered is a weak voice.

 

Michael kissed his forehead, "You'll be alright. I've got you Dean. Everything will be okay."

 

"Mikie- where's- where's Sammy and Daddy," Dean croaked.

 

Michael hugged Dean tighter and pressed his face into the boy's blood caked hair, he knew that Dean was terrified.

 

Dean only called John 'Daddy' when he was terrified.

 

"They're ok," Michael lied, "we got separated. They'll find us and we'll kill the monsters and everything will be fine. It's like it always is, Dee."

 

Dean shook his head, "No. S-something's wrong this time. I know it is. Mikie don't leave me ok."

 

Michael looked down at Dean, "What? Dean, I'll never leave you. It's me and you forever. You know that silly."

 

Dean frowned, "Don't leave. Mommy left but you can't you have to stay. Promise?"

 

Michael frowned, "I-I promise Dean."

 

Michael felt his stomach drop, he had made that promise before to three other people.

 

To Lucifer.

 

To Gabriel.

 

To Castiel.

 

Michael closed his eyes and held Dean tight. He had made that promise and broken it all three times. He couldn't break it now, he wouldn't.

 

Not ever, not to Dean.

 

The room got really bright, blindingly so.

 

Sam was forced to cover his eyes, as the sight of his bloodied brother disappeared.

 

In a sense he was happy to see that scene go, he couldn't handle seeing Dean like that. He hated seeing all of this pain that his brother had hid. He hated seeing the other side of his brother. This side that he never knew.

 

The world came back into focus, but this time there was no moment to breath, no not this time.

 

Sam yelled out in surprise as he ducked out of the way of a sword.

 

He landed on a blood-covered ground near Gabriel's feet.

 

"What the hell-"

 

Sam looked up to see Gabriel's and Castiel's faces went pale and their eyes wide.

 

"Gabe?"

 

"I-I remember this," Gabriel gasped.

 

"What?"

 

"Sammy look," Adam whispered.

 

Sam looked up to see that they were in the middle of a battlefield, a horrible bloody battlefield, and the two opposing sides were Heaven and Hell.

 

Angels, with ungodly beauty fought with wings visible and blood covered against hellish Demons. The battle was- was worse than the ghastliest of nightmares.

 

It was sickening.

 

Angels were cut down, Demons were demolished.

 

You really couldn't see any clear winner, just horror and gore.

 

"My God," Jo whispered.

 

Sam could hear a war cry from the middle of all the gory fighting, he stood slowly and saw Dean- no- he saw Michael, fighting with furiousness and he had only seen with Dean once or twice. Michael sliced away the Demons with no hesitation. His sword slice through flesh and bone with ease.

 

He didn’t hesitate, not once as he fought- each and every movement was deliberate and fatal to every enemy who dared step foreword.

 

The being that Sam saw was a killing machine, something that fought and killed with no thought to his actions.

This was- this was Heaven's sword in action.

 

It was awe-inspiring and terrifying all at once.

 

Michael roared out in fury as he sliced through his enemies, this was his element, here he was solid and knew no fault.

 

"MICHAEL!"

 

The Archangel looked in the direction of the shout and saw his brothers fighting off a wave of Demons.

They had a few of the younger angels between them- Michael remembered them as the new Garrison members. They were too young to be fighting in battles like this, they should still be in training in the safety of Heaven.

 

“Michael!”

 

Michael slayed yet another demon before he saw that something was wrong with Gabriel, it took only seconds for him to notice the blood- his heart sunk as he realized just how much blood there was

 

Gabriel, he was injured badly.

 

Michael felt fear take hold of him as one Demon over took his little brother and knocked him to the ground- all Michael could think of was how he hadn’t wanted Gabriel to come along on this battle.

He’d tried his damnedest to get him to stay back with the others.

Gabriel didn’t belong on the battlefield- he could fight and he was dam good at it- but he was not a warrior. In fact neither were most of the Angels on the battlefield at the moment- they were young and inexperienced, but they hadn’t had much of a choice in the matter.

 

 

Michael roared out in fear and anger, he quickly attempted to go to his brother's aid only to be blindsided by a sharp pain in his wing. Michael turned in anger to find an alabaster white demon with long and thick horns standing near, holding the end of a hooked chain that was now embedded in his wings.

 

"Well look what I've caught. Such a pretty little thing, can’t wait to have you as my own. Oh the things I would do to you in the Pit."

 

Michael growled angrily, "I'll make you live to regret those words. You bastard."

 

"Bastard? Such a barbed tongue for such a pretty thing, my name however is Alastair and I'll be the one torturing you for eternity once I rip away those pretty little wings."

 

Michael growled, "I have no time for the likes of you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll make this hurt any less."

 

Michael flexed his wings, ignoring the pain and rushed forward, the Demon moved back in shocked surprise, and Michael's blade only managed to catch one of his long thick and twisted horns before the Demon jerked away- still the horn wasn’t saved, it was severed it from the creature's head.

 

Alastair roared out in pain and anger and ripped his chains backwards, tearing them from Michael's wings. Michael didn’t feel the pain- his body pumped full of too much adrenaline for him to feel much of anything psychically- however, he did see the metal hooks laying forgotten on the ground covered in bloody gore and feathers. He didn’t let his mind dwell for too long on that, instead he focused back onto the alabaster demon who was clutching the smoking spot on his head where Michael’s sword had touched and hissing angrily at Michael.

 

“Back to hell with you,” Michael commanded with his angelic voice.

 

Alistair sneered even as his body began to crumble into black smoke, “What good will that do? The gates are wide open, I’ll just crawl my way back top side. It won’t take me to long, my pretty little bird, and when I do I’ll have so much fun with you.”

 

Michael looked at the creature in disgust, “No, you won’t be back, Demon, because I’ll have those gates closed soon.”

 

Michael watched as Alistair dissolved into black smoke and was sucked back into the ground. Michael felt his wings twitch a shock ran through him- it was pain, not yet, but if his body lost its battlefield edge it would be soon.

 

“Michael!”

 

The Archangel jerk around, at the sound of a familiar fledgling’s voice, he turned, fearing that he had lost his youngest brother while fighting Alistair, only to find- to his relief- that a fledgling was standing over his brother fighting off the Demons. Michael silently sent a pray of thanks to his Father and rushed to assist the fledgling.

 

He flexed his wings, wincing at that dull twinge of protect and answered back, throwing himself through time and space before quickly reappearing in front of the brave fledgling and forced a blast of Grace to surge forth from his entire body.

 

Sam covered his eyes at the intensity of the light. Gabriel assured him that it was safe to look after a moment or two. Sam gasped at the sight before him as he looked back at the battlefield. There was a nearly two hundred-mile radius of burnt land and charred bodies, all of which were the remains of Demons.

 

"Show off," Gabriel gasped from his spot on the ground.

 

Michael was panting as he turned to his bothers and the younger angels, he only barely managed to stay on his feet, and from the looks he received from his brothers in arms he knew that his weariness showed. He’d forced too much power in one go and it had left him feeling far too weak for his own good, he’d known better but he’d still allowed his anger and worry for his brother to dictate his actions. His wings felt almost like dead weights on his back- the feeling all but gone, those dull twinges were still there much to his annoyance, he wasn’t sure how many more times he could travel with them. He’d been pushing himself much harder in this battle than he needed and now he was feeling the consequences of those actions.

 

"Michael-" Raphael spoke up pulling Michael from his foggy stupor.

 

Michael shook off the weariness and forcibly flexed his wings- they just barely reacted but moved back into a battle position all the same. He could rest when the battle was done, and all of his brothers were safely back at home along with his soldiers.

 

"Gabriel," Michael growled hoarsely, "I only agreed for you and those fledglings to come if you could keep yourself and them from being harmed or killed. Now explain to me oh grand messenger of our Father, why you are hurt! Those lowly Demons should not have gotten the better of you!"

 

"Sir-"

 

Michael whirled on the littlest angel, the one who had saved Gabriel, his mind was filled to the brim with anger and sick with worry, he had no time for a fledgling who wished to speak up to him.

 

"What-" he stopped as the bluest pair of eyes he had ever seen starred into his eyes.

 

The anger lessened, his body relaxed, and his mind calmed for a second because of those eyes. Michael all at once knew that the owner of those eyes should never be on a battlefield, should never be threatened with violence, and that he deserved to live his life within the gardens where he would keep him safe.

 

Those thoughts hit Michael like a war hammer, almost knocking him stupid for a second or two, he’d only ever thought those thoughts of his brothers. Here he was on a battlefield, fighting to complete a rescue mission and he had found another who calmed his mind and made him crave to protect.

This was not the time and no the place to such things.

 

Michael pushed those thoughts aside for another time and forced himself to speak.

 

He swallowed and shook his head, "You saved him. Thank you."

 

The little angel's head cocked to the side at the sudden change of Michael’s demeanor, the movement caused Michael’s heart to flutter.

 

"Sir? I was only fighting and aiding my brethren as all Angels are to do. Gabriel, is not only my better, but I see him as my friend and if not for him I would not be here fighting to save Sir Lucifer and his garrison from those aboniations who took him."

 

Michael sighed, “I wouldn’t considering Gabriel dragging you into this blood bath something that a friend would do. Thank you anyway for stepping up to help him, what is your-"

 

A gasp of pain brought Michael back to the matter at hand- guilt ate at him for forgetting about his injured brother.

 

"Gabe? Little one are you alright?"

 

"D-don't call me little on-one in front of the baby angels," Gabriel gasped as he held his shoulder tightly.

 

Michael shook his head and gently leaned down taking in the injuries his brother had, "How bad is it?"

 

"I-I'm fine. It's just a scratch."

 

"Lair," Michael sighed, "the urchin's claws must have been poisoned. You need to leave this form and return to Heaven to have these wounds looked over."

 

"I like this form and I want to stay and fight," Gabriel argued, "I can't just sit back and-"

 

"I promise that I'll be back, Gabe. I will not leave you, I will win this battle, save Lucifer and the Garrison, and then I will come home and we can spend time in the garden.”

 

Gabriel looked down, "You swear that you won't leave me?"

 

Michael understood, Gabriel couldn't lose his brother. He feared that he would be killed in this fight.

 

"I swear I will not ever leave you, Gabe," Michael promised, "now let your mighty defender with the lovely blue eyes take you to the healer. You can even take this form with you if you like."

 

Gabriel smirked, "You mean Castiel?"

 

"That's his name?" Michael looked over his shoulder at the little angel, "yes let the little bird Castiel, take you home."

 

"Yes sir," Castiel answered with the slightest of blushes dusting his face as he gently touched Gabriel's shoulder.

 

"Good luck brother," Gabriel said.

 

Michael nodded, "I'll need all the luck that you and father can muster."

 

With the flutter of wings they were gone, Michael turned to Raphael and the fledglings. They stood tall and ready to follow his orders, but Michael could still see the fear hidden in their eyes. That was more than enough to force Michael’s hand, he couldn’t lead anyone else to their death.

 

"I want all the fledglings to return to Heaven. Raphael, join the other in finishing up the remaining Demons, coordinate around the battlefield and have the remaining forces expose to the enemy to as much Grace as you can. The ones it does not destroy immediately will be trapped and forced to head back toward the gates,” Michael ordered.

 

“Michael, that’s a dangerous call,” Raphael pointed out, “we will all be weakened by an attack like that and even if they are driven back toward the gates what will keep them there? The gates are wide open, there is nothing there to hold them.”

 

 “I'm going through the Hell Gates," Michael answered, “when the first wave of Grace is exposed I will enter the gates and find Lucifer and his garrison. Once I’ve found them I will extract them and close the gates on our way out.”

 

Raphael shook his head, “Michael that is too dangerous! There is no guarantee that it will work or that you will not be trapped along with Lucifer!”

 

“I want you to and the soldiers to give out five pulses,” Michael Went on ignoring Raphael, “make sure its five. No more and no less. ”

 

"But brother-"

 

"I’m counting on you Raphael. Please, I know that you won’t let me down."

 

"Yes of course. Please be careful, Michael."

 

“I will. You do the same, now hurry. I need everyone in place and ready to go on my signal.”

 

“What will the signal be brother?”

 

“I’ll release a pulse of Grace once I’m at the gates entrance,” Michael answered, “watch the skies and the instant you see it start the pulse.”

 

Michael turned away from his brother and with the blink of an eye he was at the gates

 

Michael left after that, he reappeared in front of the Hell Gate and felt the fear and pain caught up to him finally. His wings hurt and his heart was throbbing in his chest as the thought of Gabriel going down replayed in his mind.

 

He felt sick, so sick.

 

He could've lost him, he could've lost his little brother because one Demon scum got in a lucky strike.

 

Michael took a deep breath trying to fight away his fear, he felt sick with it.

 

What if he had lost Gabriel?

 

What if-

 

"Stop it! Stop it now and focus. He is fine, he will be fine. You can baby him after you safe Lucifer and kick his ass for being captured."

 

He’d made it to Gabriel in time, but would he make it to Lucifer?

 

Michael pushed away the human emotions and focused on what had to be done.

 

He had yet another brother to save, this one was much closer to being lost.

 

Could he make it in time Lucifer?

 

Would he save him or would he be too late?

 

How would he find Lucifer?

 

Mutilated?

 

Dead?

 

Michael took a deep breath and stood tall, he would find his brother alive and they would both leave alive.

 

"I coming Lucifer. I coming and once this is all over you're going to be stuck on fledgling duty for a millennium."

 

Michael glared at the Demons who stood blocking the gates, he tightened

 

The world dissipated.

 

It wasn't like the other memories that faded gently this one seemed to dissolve.

 

"What happened?"

 

"This is one of Michael's memories," Gabriel stated, "they're not as strong as Dean's. They are further back. Shaky. It's like watching an extremely old black and white film."

 

"Castiel saved you," Sam whispered, "He saved you from dying. Michael- he fought Alastair. He-"

 

"LUCIFER!"

 

The world reappeared, except now they were in the Pit.

 

Michael was locked in battle with a creature that was the stuff of nightmares and Lucifer was bound tightly by hooked chains. Behind Lucifer hung the mutilated and bloody corpses of Lucifer’s garrison- all had their wings torn from their bodies and their eyes removed.

 

"He could break those if he so chose to," the Demon cackled as he batted away Michael's blade.

 

"Quiet Demon! Let him go," Michael growled.

 

"I have no hold of him," the creature cackled hissed as Michael's blade caught his shoulder, "Lucifer is still here because he wishes to be. Because he’s listened to reason unlike the rest of you feathered bastards. He understands now, he sees what must be done, the fact that he still lives proves that."

 

"No! Shut your foul mouth! Lucifer, I’ll free you and we can leave this place!"

 

Lucifer didn't look up, he seemed almost in shock.

 

"Lucifer! Lucifer?"

 

Michael's wings were slashed at, he yelled out in pain as a clawed hand caught his already damaged wings, snapping Lucifer out of thought and into action.

 

"MICHAEL!"

 

Lucifer was snapped back to reality instantly, it took a simple flex of his wings and the chains were gone.

 

"Michael? Michael are you-"

 

"You let him hold you, Lucifer?"

 

"I-I was considering what he said."

 

"What? What are you-?"

 

"I told him the truth," the demon cackled, "I didn’t lie to him. I didn’t twist his views or withhold the truth"

 

Michael growled, "Silence-"

 

"Michael we are leaving," Lucifer whispered.

 

"What? I won’t leave until he’s been destroyed! He mutilated and murder your garrison," Michael roared, “he tortured them without mercy and then kill them! He deserves to be-”

 

"You have saved me and we can’t do anything for them now. He’ll pull his armies back to let us leave,” Lucifer pressed, “let’s just go home. No one else needs to suffer or die today, Michael.”

 

Michael looked at Lucifer in shock and confusion, he couldn’t grip what he was hearing.

 

"Yes, it seems I will be pulling them back," the demon said with a smirk, “no need to press on any longer it would seem.”

 

"What? Lucifer I-"

 

Before Michael could finished they were back on the now empty battlefield, the gates were now closed and the Demons gone leaving nothing but their dead behind.

 

Michael pulled away from his brother and stared at him in a mix of anger and confusion.

 

"What just happened?"

 

"You need to have the healer look at you," Lucifer said ignoring the question.

 

Michael smacked Lucifer's hands away as anger surged through him.

 

"What was all of that about? Why didn’t you destroy that abomination! How could you let him continue to live after what he did to your Garrison?"

 

"What?"

 

"Lucifer, you did nothing to him and then you simply let him go! You allowed him to live!"

 

"What could I do? He had me bound and trapped in the Pit. What should I have done? Fought back and had us both killed? Michael you look like you are on your last leg and I couldn’t fight him off even with an entire Garrison."

 

Michael shook his head, "No, we could’ve taken him. We could’ve retrieved our brethren’s bodies and taken from that place. We could’ve done something! I don't know what it is but- you're not telling me something."

 

"I don't know what you mean big brother."

 

Michael shook his head, turned away from his brother. Raphael appeared and reported that all Demons had gone and asked how he’d gotten them to retreat so quickly. Michael looked at Lucifer in equal parts anger and concern before turning back to Raphael and saying that he wasn’t sure.

 

Michael ordered for Raphael to stay with Lucifer than broke his promise to his brother for the first time.

 

Michael turned to Lucifer with doubt and suspicion in his demeanor.

 

"I have to go, Gabriel was hurt during the battle and seeing as you don’t seem to be injured at all I don’t think you need any further assistance,” Michael’s voice sound distant almost cold.

 

“Michael, Lucifer was just pulled from the Pit, surely he needs to see the healers to make sure that he hasn’t been-”

 

“Is Gabriel alright? What happened to him,” Lucifer cut Raphael off, “why was he in this battle?”

 

Michael clenched his fists as turned from his brothers, he refused to look at Lucifer.

 

“He was injured, not badly, I had Castiel take him to the healers,” Michael answered coldly.

 

“Who is Castiel and why didn’t you have Raphael take him?”

 

“We were trying to save you,” Michael answered, “Stay with Raphael while he rounds up the Garrisons and once everyone returns to Heaven, you will report to the Gardens with him."

 

"You're leaving me?"

 

Michael looked at Lucifer for a moment and for the first time in his life saw a possible issue instead of his brother. Michael felt sick, as he realized that in that moment he was thinking as a weapon instead of a brother.

 

"Yes, but only for a little bit and you’ll be with Raphael. I'm sorry Lucifer but there are other matters I have to see to."

 

He saw the hurt in his brother's eyes and still he left.

 

It would be one of the many things that he would forever regret.

 

"Was it?"

 

Gabriel turned to Sam.

 

"Was it what?"

 

"Something that he ended up regretting?"

 

Gabriel was silent as the scene dissolved into nothingness.

 

"Yes," Gabriel answered right before the sound of Dean's voice broke through the darkness.

 

"I'm sleepy," Dean whispered, "I wanna go to sleep."

 

Michael jumped as Dean's voice brought him back to the present. He looked down to find that Dean looked even worse off than before.

 

Things were getting bad.

 

"You need to stay awake," Michael panicked, "you can't sleep right now. I need you to stay awake, Dean."

 

Dean's eyes started to drift shut, "Too tired."

 

"Dean! Stay awake!"

 

Michael felt fear gripping him, he couldn’t lose Dean. No not after all the shit he had gone through.

 

Dean had to live, he couldn't die.

 

Michael knew that one way or another that he would kept Dean breathing. He give everything up to keep Dean alive. An angelic child had the power to change the world, the love and courage to keep the weak safe, and - honestly Michael couldn't imagine a world without Dean.

 

"You have to stay awake Dean," Michael whispered, "for Sammy. For Bobby and for John. If you go to sleep, you'll never see them again. If you go to sleep Dean, you'll lose them."

 

Dean fought to keep his eyes open after that, he squeezed Michael's hand every time he began to drift off and Michael would push him to stay awake.

 

"I'm so-so tired Mikie," Dean mumbled.

 

"I know but-"

 

Michael was cut off as the door was blown off the hinges. Michael covered Dean's trembling body with his own as debris flew into the room.

 

He looked up to see the creature that had attacked Dean standing in the doorway. Michael felt his heart sink. This was not good.

 

The creature stepped into the room and Michael reacted quickly he leapt to his feet and put himself between Dean and the creature.

 

He wouldn't let Dean be taken.

 

Michael forced his Grace into overdrive and made himself visible to the creature.

 

"GET OUT! YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM," Michael roared.

 

The stupid looking creature looked at Michael in surprise but didn't move. He simply starred at him. There was silence in the room for a long time, nothing but the little ringing left over from Michael’s voice.

 

Michael and the creature starred each other down until the sound of Dean's heart beat stuttering caused Michael to turn his back on the creature.

 

"Dean!"

 

There was no response other than the sudden deafening sound of the creature’s feet thudding against the floor as it charged at them. Michael felt his entire world crumble as he slowly listened to Dean's heart come to a complete stop. Time slowed down, the charging creature was no longer a factor, the fact that his Grace was draining didn't register to him, and the fear of no longer existing disappeared.

 

All he could think of was never seeing Dean's smiling face or knowing that Sammy wouldn't have his big brother, or that Dean would never have a chance to actually live his own life.

 

He would've only known the life of a good solider.

 

Michael couldn't let that happen, no not ever.

 

Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

"Sorry Dean, I'm going to have to break my promise. I do that a lot more than I should."

 

Michael turned back to the creature and held up his hand. Castiel watched as Michael released the last of his remaining grace. Michael's entire being disintegrated before them, it was like an explosion of light before them. The creature was torn apart and burnt away by the mere pressure of the escaping Grace.

 

There was nothing left- nothing at all except- except Dean.

 

Castiel watched as what was left of Michael slowly encircled Dean's lifeless body.

 

He was torn between sorrow in seeing how Michael's existence was ended and seeing Dean laying there dead.

Castiel was moving before he could stop himself, wanting nothing more than to go to Dean’s side and help him.

 

He dropped down next to Dean and tried his hardest to hold the boy.

 

"Dean! Dean wake up!"

 

Castiel was panicking, he knew this was just a long ago point in time, but seeing Dean like this was too much. It tapped into something deep inside of him that made him want to do everything in his power to protect him.

 

He knew that Dean had have to have woken up, it was just the fear that forced his reactions.

 

Castiel felt his heart racing as he realized that Dean was dead.

 

"D-Dean?"

 

"Cass," Gabriel said gently as he stepped forward and took hold of the young angel's shoulder, "he's alright this is only-"

 

Gabriel stopped midsentence as Michael's dissipating Grace slowly covered Dean's body. It quickly healed the boy then sunk into his body.

 

The room was silent for moments before Dean took deep gasping breaths and his eyes opened wide. They glowed the purest of white before slowly turning back to their beautiful green color.

 

Dean silently fell back to sleep and the world went dark. Gabriel slowly pulled Castiel to his feet and led him back near the others.

 

"He saved Dean by sacrificing himself," Jo whispered, "he gave up everything for Dean."

 

"Michael did that a lot," Castiel spoke up, "he did that more than he should have and that's a trait that Dean has always had."

 

"DEAN!"

 

They all jumped and spun around as they heard the voice of John Winchester fill the empty space around them. Slowly, almost in a groggy haze the world around them began to reappear. They were still in the same house as before, only now it was daylight outside and John, Bobby, and a little Sam were all standing around Dean.

 

John was shaking him, trying to get his son to wake up.

 

Bobby was growling at him to stop and Sam was near tears.

 

"Dean wake up please!"

 

Dean's eyes began to open at that point, slowly but surely.

 

With a start Dean sat up and gasp out Mikie, taking John by surprise.

 

"Son?"

 

"Dad? Dad! Holy crap! That thing it- and it hit me- and it took- but how are you? When did you get-" Dean was stopped mid-hysterical rant by Sam hugging him tightly.

 

"Dean! You scarred me! I woke up and saw that thing hit you. You didn't get up and it took me and Daddy and- and Bobby found us. Bobby saved us and when we killed that thing we came back and- and you weren't awake and I thought that you were-" Sam wasn't able to speak anymore after that. His sobs made a lot of what he was saying jumbled and beyond understanding.

 

Dean frowned and held Sam close, "Sammy I'm okay. You're alright, right?"

 

"I'm fine. Bobby saved us. Dad was talking to him whenever that thing attacked, Bobby heard everything and came to save us. It took all night to kill off those- things and by the time we got back it was morning. We-we got here as quickly as we could! Dean I was so scarred that you were-"

 

"Shh, I'm okay Sammy."

 

"Thank God, Dean I- seeing you get hit like that-"

 

John quickly leaned down and hugged his two boys.

 

"Idjits," Bobby grouched, "always getting into trouble. I swear you're all more trouble then you're worth. But thank God you're okay Dean."

 

Dean smirked, "Alright! Alright chick-flick moment over please. I can't breathe you big babies, get off. I'm fine, I got a headache, but I'm okay."

 

John and Sam slowly let Dean go and Dean sat up on his own. John than gave the boy a quick look over making sure that he really was okay.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and slowly got to his feet, Sam stayed close by, making sure that Dean wouldn't fall.

 

"Can-Can we get out of here now, please?"

 

Dean's voice sound small, a little lost even. John looked down at his son, he could see that something was bothering him.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Dad, are we forgetting someone? I mean is there someone who- was there someone else here?"

 

John looked at Dean for a moment than squatted next to his son, "Dean, there wasn't anyone else here. There was just you and Sammy. I was just pulling up when I heard Sammy yell, but there wasn't anyone else here."

 

Dean looked down and frowned then looked back up, "But- but I thought. Huh, I guess I was just dreaming."

 

John nodded and quickly went to help Bobby round up their things. Sammy stayed behind and turned to Dean.

 

"Hey Dean?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Who's Mikie?"

 

Dean paused for a moment, his head hurt really badly as he tried to remember that name. Nothing came to mind, not a single thing, except for this strong feeling of emptiness. That name made him feel like he had lost something very important, that he was alone, and that maybe he had lost someone.

 

Dean looked down at Sam and frowned, "I don't know. Why?"

 

"Because you gasped that name when you woke up."

 

"I did?"

 

"Yeah," Sam insisted.

 

"Well, I ain't got a clue why. I must have been dreaming about the Ninja Turtles or something."

 

Sam rolled his eyes, "Yeah guess that was it."

 

Sam sat next to Dean on the mattress, and Dean silently tried to piece together the reason for why he felt alone, even with Sammy by his side.

 

"I guess that explains why Dean doesn't remember Michael," Adam stated.

 

"I guess so," Jo sighed, "poor Dean. He lost someone but he couldn't even remember who."

 

"I guess that explains why he changed so must after that night," Sam whispered.

 

"What?"

 

"After that night Dean was more- more withdrawn. He turned into a solider. He just seemed hell bent on keeping me and dad safe."

 

"He and Michael merge. Dean became whole and Michael ceased to be," Castiel explained as he stood.

 

He looked down at his feet, embarrassed for his actions.

 

Sam looked at him knowingly, he understood.

 

Castiel cared deeply for Dean, he saw that now. Sam was starting to see a lot of things that he hadn't before.

 

The world faded again.

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

"You know I know that this is important to saving Dean and all but- damn it I'm tired of all this crazy random moving around shit," Adam sighed, "I think I’m getting car sick."

 

"Dude do not throw up," Sam snapped, "I don’t know where it would go and I’m not into the whole idea of vomit following us through time."

 

"Stop being such a wuss," Jo teased.

 

"Humans," Gabriel sighed as he rolled his eyes and turned to Castiel.

 

"You okay?"

 

Castiel looked up at his brother and shrugged, "I do not know. I do not understand the things that I am feeling. I do not understand why I reacted the way I did."

 

Gabriel sighed, "Apparently, you're just as much of a dunderhead as Addy over there."

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing Cassie," Gabriel sighed, "just forget it."

 

Castiel frowned, "Gabriel, what-"

 

"Gabriel! What are you doing out of the healers' care!"

 

Gabriel and Castiel looked as the darkness dissolved in a grainy way and revealed Gabriel walking down a hallway with a young Castiel rushing after him.

 

Michael was standing at the end of the hallway looking rather amused with his arms crossed over his chest. Gabriel's wings were visible, they were the color of honey with white speckles and they were large, Michael's were silvery almost metallic in color with bandages in places to cover the wounds he received during the battle, between Gabriel’s and Castiel’s wings his were the largest. Castiel's were like a raven's, the iridescence color featured blue and greens, to Michael they were the most beautiful wings he’d ever seen.

 

"Cassie, I'm fine,” Gabriel huffed snapping Michael from his stupor, “Stop coddling me and go back to the hatchery. I'm sure Elijah is about ready to rip my wings out as it is for endangering his wards. He's probably plotting my downfall as we speak."

 

Michael didn’t doubt it, the Garden’s caretakers doubled as a watcher for the younger Angels. He tended to them as much as he did the garden and Father help the poor fool who brought harm to his darling fledglings.

 

How unfortunate for Gabriel, the youngest Archangel seemed to be a beacon for danger seeking fledglings. It was a wonder that Elijah hadn’t yet banned the devious little archangel from entering the gardens ever again.

 

"Why would he do that? Sir you are an Arch Angel. Elijah would never-"

 

"Relax little bird," Michael chuckled, "Gabriel is only playing around. However, in all honesty, Gabriel you should probably stay far-far away from the Gardens and um the hatchery for a while, because Elijah isn't too happy with you at the moment. I’m fairly certain I heard him cursing your name not that long ago."

 

Gabriel paled a bit, "Okay, I'm gonna go hide. See I'm not even gonna pretend that Elijah's scary overly protective fatherly wrath doesn't scare me. It does, I'm freaking trembling at the mere thought of his glare. See I'm angel enough to admit that."

 

Michael rolled his eyes, "Yeah okay Mr. Nerves of Steel, go hide but no over doing it and stay where I can sense you or Nanny Elijah won't be the only one putting the fear of Father into you."

 

Gabriel saluted and gave a snaky smirk, "Yes, mother dear."

 

Gabriel left in a light flutter of wings, leaving behind a confused and slightly off put looking Castiel and amused looking Michael.

 

"He'll be fine little bird," Michael assured as he uncrossed his arms and made his way to the now trembling Castiel. Castiel looked down quickly and his wings lowered and his entire being seemed to- submit. Michael felt his wings puff out and he stood straighter, pleased by Castiel’s submission- the slight pull in his wings knocked the pride right out of him and made him remember himself.

 

He was glad that Castiel’s head was bowed- the little angel had missed his less then graceful wince of pain and slight misstep.

 

"My name is Castiel," Castiel whispered.

 

Michael smiled as he calmed himself, "I know. The littlest angel of Heaven. The Angel of Thursday. The angel who seems hell bent on mothering my little brother into an early grave."

 

Castiel looked up in shock and quickly spoke up, "I would never-"

 

"It's a human joke,” Michael calmed him quickly, “I'm sorry you still haven't experience much of the human world. Elijah has yet to let you very far from the gardens, I hear."

 

"I have seen the human world," Castiel stated shyly, "just bits though. Elijah doesn't let me see as much as the others fledglings. He believes that young ones should see smaller amounts until we understand the ways of our own kind."

 

Michael eyed the little angel, "I see."

 

Castiel bowed his head, acting as though he had said something wrong. Michael smiled gently and reached his hand out, he took the other’s chin and lifted Castiel's face until he could look into his blue eyes.

 

"I'm not Raphael or Lucifer, my ego does not force you to submit little bird,” Michael assured gently, “I want you to see me as you would any other member of the Garrison, I don't care what Raphael says or how Lucifer demands things to be. I want you to see me as- as-"

 

"As a brother?"

 

Michael smirked, "Honestly, no. That would make what I'm about to do rather- frowned upon by the entire Garrison and Higher Host."

 

"What do you mean-"

 

Michael leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Castiel's after a brief time he pulled back and smiled at Castiel.

 

"Thank you for saving Gabriel, Castiel," Michael whispered, “if not for you I might have lost him. I’m forever in your debt and forever grateful.”

 

Castiel looked up at Michael, his big blue eyes wide, the young vessel that Castiel wore seemed so innocent and in awe of Michael that it was too cute. Castiel seemed to be so much in a daze that he swayed slightly on his feet. Michael even went as far as the gently place a hand on Castiel's shoulder in fear that he’d broken the little angel.

 

"Castiel? Are you alright? I am sorry if I over stepped my bounds. Perhaps I should have asked beforehand or perhaps I shouldn’t have assumed that my actions were correct."

 

"No! I mean yes! I-I am alright," Castiel sputtered, "that- I- you. It was- you just."

 

Michael chuckled, "I kissed you.”

 

"Yes, but why? Is that not something that one only does with a bonded?"

 

Michael chuckled and gently brushed a few loose strands of hair from the little angel's eyes, "No, not really. A kiss can be a thank you gesture, or a hint that one would like to have a relationship with another, or even that one may wish to-" Michael paused and took a moment to remind himself who it was he was speaking with, he cleared his throat, "-wish to spend a large amount of time with the other."

 

Castiel blushed, "What did that kiss mean?"

 

Michael grinned, he leaned back down to Castiel, "That one was a thank you, but this one means that I would love for you to agree to let me take you on an outing."

 

Michael leaned in again and this time gave Castiel a more intimate kiss. It was gentle and romantic, not merely a peck for testing of the waters. This one left Castiel's wings trembling in delight and he knees shaky as Michael pulled back.

 

"Will you meet me in the Gardens tomorrow and allow me to take you on an outing?"

 

Castiel nodded, "Y-Yes. I-I would love to."

 

Michael smiled, "You are very cute when you stutter."

 

All of the sudden the scene paused.

 

Everything just froze.

 

"Oh come on, it was just getting good,” Jo sighed.

 

Adam looked over at Jo in surprise at her outburst, the other men in their little group did the same. Jo blushed a bit than shrugged.

 

"What? I'm a chick and I like romance. I mean this is like Bareback Mountain meets Romeo and Juliet, minus the cowboys and you can understand them better. I'm just not liking the pause feature."

 

Adam rolled his eyes, "Alright than."

 

Slowly another scene popped up right next to the one they were currently in, this one was a more recent time. In it was Dean in his room at Bobby's house, he was his old self, shirtless and with a towel wrapped around his waist.

 

"Alright this could be nightmare inducing," Sam stated.

 

"As long as the towel stays on I'm fine," Adam said.

 

They watched as Dean held up a pair of jeans.

 

"Oh please keep the pants on," Adam began to chant.

 

Jo elbowed him, "Shut it."

 

Dean turned toward the door and out of nowhere Castiel appeared.

 

"Dean, I have found out wh-"

 

Castiel stopped midsentence as he noticed that Dean was wearing nothing but a towel.

 

Castiel's face went red and he looked down, Dean was grinning as he watched the angel.

 

"Cass," Dean called.

 

"Ye-yes?"

 

"I believe that we've talked about popping in without warning," Dean reminded with a grin.

 

Castiel nodded, "Ye-yes. I believe that we have. I am sor-sorry Dean. I will remember-"

 

Dean chuckled, "Damn you're cute when you stutter."

 

Castiel's eyes went big he looked up and Dean's grin fell from his face. His own eyes went big and he covered his mouth for a moment, then tried to correct himself.

 

"I mean- shit- I didn't mean that. I mean yeah you're cute when you stutter but- damn it. Can you sort of- um- go check on Adam please?"

 

Castiel nodded and quickly left without a word, Dean calmly walked over to the wall and began to smack his head against it.

 

"I did not just say that. Holy shit, my ass is so smited- smoted- oh whatever. I can't believe I said that out loud!"

 

The scene of Dean smacking his head into the wall dissipated and the one of Michael and Castiel started again.

 

Michael grinned and was about to say something else when a voice rang out down the hallway.

 

"Michael! Michael, I wish to speak with you about this battle that Gabriel took the young one out on," came Elijah's less than happy voice.

 

Michael blanched and smiled sheepishly at Castiel, "I will see you tomorrow at noon in the Gardens."

 

Castiel nodded, "Of course."

 

"Michael," shouted Elijah.

 

"I am sorry. I have to go. If there's one thing Gabriel is right about it is that Elijah is rather terrifying when it comes to protecting you young ones. Good bye little birdie."

 

Michael kissed Castiel's hand than left in a whirlwind of flapping wings.

 

Michael sighed as he reappeared in the Gardens.

 

He was currently in his favorite part near the waterfalls. Elijah wouldn’t think to look here, Michael didn’t think that the Angel thought him this stupid to hide in the most obvious place.

 

Reverse phycology as Gabriel called it.

 

Michael sighed and quietly sat under the weeping willow, watching the eternal water fall, listening to the calming sound around him. He smiled for a moment, but that smile quickly left his face, as he felt the presence of others.

 

"Kissing a lower member of the Garrison? That's not at all a proper thing for someone like you to be doing, brother."

 

Michael frowned, "What I do is no business of anyone’s, brothers."

 

"Lucifer is only pointing out that-"

 

"Quiet Raphael," Michael sighed, "I know very well what he is pointing out. I'm simply stating that I don't give a shit."

 

"Language please Michael," Raphael scolded.

 

"Did you have the healer look you over?"

 

Michael looked over at Lucifer and nodded, "Yes and I am fine."

 

"You can never be too careful when demons are involved, but as I said before I haven’t been harmed," Lucifer said, "I was simply worried about you."

 

Michael looked away from his brother, "I'm worried about you Lucifer."

 

"What? I am perfectly fine Michael," Lucifer assured.

 

"I know. That is what has me worried."

 

"Michael what do you mean?"

 

Michael sighed and stretched his wings, he really didn't want to hear Raphael's babbling. Raphael had good intentions at times, but he was just too snobbish in his ways. He did not think with an open and clear mind- Michael blamed it on Elijah’s over sheltering nature. Raphael had never taken in the life outside of Heaven, he’d always been far too straight laced and Michael feared that Raphael’s job as guardian of the Prophets had exposed him to far too much despair. Raphael was the first to hear all visions of the Prophets, the first to know of depressing things to come- Michael didn’t doubt that it had broken something in his dear little brother.

 

Raphael had never seemed to find his own personal heathy way of coping with things as his other brothers had- if anything the way he chose to cope was by clinging to Lucifer’s side and acting as his shadow.

 

Michael didn’t like it at all but, trying to pry the angel from Lucifer’s side was nearly impossible at times.

 

"Raphael, if you are going to stay then be quiet and not jump to his aide every time I speak to him. I am talking with Lucifer, I am questioning him of his actions while under the capture of the demon, and I am questioning his mental state now that he has returned. If you have any problems with my questions then I must ask to you leave now or be silent."

 

"What? Michael, he is fine! Lucifer has been through a lot but he is fine and he is home now. Can’t you just be grateful to have him-"

 

Michael stood up and turned around and glared as the middle child, Raphael looked down, not wanting to challenge the first born.

 

Michael instantly regretted his actions, he didn't want his little brother to fear him.

 

"Raff, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be cruel. Please forgive me, it's just things have been a bit stressful. Plus you know how things go, I have to question him. As the sword I am forced to-"

 

"I know, but Lucifer has not done anything! Michael he was held prisoner by that scum."

 

Michael sighed and gently approached his little brother, he never found force or cruelty to work. He would never approach his family in the demeanor anyway.

 

"Raphael, please leave so that I may speak with Lucifer in private. I don't wish to upset you little brother, not in the least, and I fear that the things I have to speak to him about will do just that."

 

Raphael frowned but nodded in understanding, "As you wish."

 

“Thank you.”

 

Raphael left quietly, leaving Michael and Lucifer to themselves.

 

Michael turned back to Lucifer his eyes no longer soft.

 

“Tell me what happened," Michael demanded.

 

"I was captured and held in the pit by-"

 

"I will ask once more, what truly happened, Lucifer?"

 

Lucifer's wings went ridged, his demeanor changed and Michael shook his head.

 

"He and I spoke on matters," Lucifer answered cryptically.

 

Michael lost his temper, his wings expanded to their full span – the pain in them simply fueled his anger- and his Grace bubbled just under his skin.

 

"No! You didn't speak with him about anything. You were held prisoner and did not speak with the enemy or agree with anything that he said. Tell me that Lucifer. Tell me those words exactly," Michael demanded.

 

Lucifer looked away, "I can't. I won't lie to you Michael. I spoke with the demon. We spoke on matters regarding the humans. He sees reason. He understands that they are nothing compared to us. He sees that we are above those things. He said that he could help us to get rid of those-"

 

Michael's fist connected with Lucifer's face before another word could spill from his brother's lips. Lucifer was knocked to the ground, he was use to fighting with Grace but he had never been punched like that nor had he ever been punched by his brother. He looked up as blood dribbled from his split lip, hurt and anger burned in equal part in his eyes. Michael stood over him, breathing heavily with his wings spread wide, and his eyes ablaze with anger.

 

"Never- never again speak those words. You will never go against our Father. Lucifer stop this stupidity, stop it now before- before-"

 

"Before you are forced to smite me? Before you are forced to up hold up the law of Heaven and strike me down? Before you are forced to choose between your own brother and those damned urchins!"

 

Michael's face went deathly pale as he slowly stepped back from his brother and took a deep breath.

 

"Yes, exactly those things. I hate it but that's all true. Those humans, the creatures that our Father created, the beings that we are meant to protect, they are the ones we are here to protect and watch over! We. Bow. To. Them. Understand that and get used to it, because I will not lose you to this prideful stupidity that you have become consumed by. If I have to, I will go through drastic measures to get you to understand that. If I must I will speak to Naomi on this matter and hand you to her, it is not something I would chose lightly but I will not lose you to your own foolishness,” Michael all but hissed.

 

“Naomi? You would hand me over to that witch! You would allow her to “fix” me as you call it? I thought you believed her methods to be monstrous! I thought you said you’d never allow her to “fix” another Angel so long as you lived, dear brother. Yet you would so readily hand me over to her!”

 

Michael felt his stomach twist at the thought, Naomi was a monster. Her methods or fixing or correcting angels who had lost their way was nothing but torture as far as Michael was concerned. He’d never willing let her lay a hand on his brother, on anyone, but he couldn’t lose Lucifer.

 

If push came to shove he would chose the lesser evil.

 

“I would,” Michael answered, his voice sounding broken even to his own ears, “Promise me that you will drop this Lucifer, promise me that your will not force my hand on this matter. I can't lose my brother. I-I can't lose you, I can't lose any of you. Promise me that you will not continue down this road Lucifer."

 

"Michael-"

 

"PROMISE ME!"

 

Lucifer looked up at Michael, watching his brother, seeing how broken the Archangel was over this.

 

"I-I promise Michael," Lucifer broke, "I promise."

 

Michael nodded and pulled Lucifer back to his feet, he pulled Lucifer into a hug and hugged him tighter. He held him as though he feared that letting go would mean losing him forever.

 

"Thank you," Michael whispered, "thank you. Just please don't lose your way."

 

Lucifer hugged his brother back, holding him just as tight, "I'm sorry. I promise I'll stay with you. No more going against my path. I know where I need to be."

 

Michael pulled back and smiled, "Good! Damn it, if I knew socking you one would knock some sense into you I would've done it decades ago."

 

Lucifer smirked, "You big baby, don’t expect me to let that ever happen again."

 

Michael rolled his eyes and ruffled Lucifer's hair, "Yeah whatever. Just-just go play nicely with the others. I'm sure you're little fan club is more than ready to welcome you back."

 

Lucifer blushed, "Fan club? No, they just enjoy my company."

 

Michael rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever."

 

Lucifer watched his brother, silently for a moment, before speaking up, “Michael-”

 

“Don’t speak to anyone about what happened,” Michael broke in, “not a word. If they ask about the Garrison just-just tell them that they were lost and that you have been forbidden by me from speaking to anyone on the matter. I will handle things, just be silent and let me take care of everything.”

 

Michael would take care of everything, he always did. He kept his family safe, it was his job, and he would always do his job.

 

He’d protect Lucifer no matter what.

 

“Alright, brother,” Lucifer agreed and then left in a whirlwind of feathers.

 

Michael took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he fell to his knees and looked toward the waterfall again, his body ached and his heart was heavy. He knew things weren’t as simple as he led his brother’s to believe.

 

"I'll fix this I promise Father. Please just-just give me a little more time. I-I can save him."

 

Silence was all that met Michael.

 

Michael put his head down, "Please."

 

The world around them shattered, leaving Team Free Will in darkness and speechless.

 

Silence.

 

Silence that was only broken by the sound of a deep chuckle.

 

The chuckle echoed round and round, soon the sound of bed springs and Elvis Presley flooded the darkness.

 

Castiel soon found himself no longer in the beautiful majesty of the Garden but in the rather dingy hallway of an apartment.

 

Muffled noises were coming from the door at the end of the hallway, Castiel wasn’t sure what was going on- the sounds weren’t clear enough from him to make out.

 

“Cass?”

Castiel turned to see Adam and Sam poke their heads down the hallway, he guessed that Jo and Gabriel were with them.

 

“It’s me,” Castiel assured, “do you see anything?”

 

“No,” Jo answered as she came around the corner, “the living room and kitchen are empty.”

 

“Whatever we need to see must be in that back room,” Adam pointed out.

 

“It would seem so,” Castiel agreed.

 

“Well go open it,” Gabriel pressed, “we’re not getting any closer to finding the truth just standing around out here.”

 

Castiel turned back toward the ajar door with a sigh and slowly began to walk toward it, he could hear as the others followed behind him.

 

"Wait a second," Sam whispered as they got closer to the door, "this places looks really familiar. I think I've been here before."

 

"Really? Than you wanna explain the Elvis? I mean who listens to-"

 

Adam went pale as Castiel opened the door, fully exposing the room and its inhabitants.

 

"Fuck, Jericho," Dean gasped breathlessly.

 

Adam, Sam, and Gabriel ran from the room like hell itself was at their heels, not to mention that they all looked less than happy with their findings.

 

Castiel and Jo, however were man enough to stick around for the show.

 

Well Jo was man enough, Castiel was just entranced by what was going on in front of him.

 

Inside the room, a teenaged Dean was straddling a naked and moaning Jericho. Dean had his head thrown back riding the older boy hard and fast, the teen moaned loudly with his back arched and his eyes clenched shut as his mouth hung open. Jericho's thrusts were almost brutal in nature as he matched each downward thrust Dean made, but Dean took each with a gasp or a toe curling moan for more.

 

“Jericho! Oh, fuck, please! Please!”

 

“I’ve got you Dee,” Jericho groaned, “Oh fuck, I’ve got you.”

 

Jericho pulled Dean’s down, pulling him into a rough kiss before flipping the over. Dean let out a noise that sounded like the breath had been knocked out of him as Jericho broke their kiss. Dean’s entire body shuddered hard, his legs wrapped around Jericho and his finger dug into his back.

 

“So beautiful, Dee,” Jericho groaned into Dean’s ear.

 

Castiel's eyes were glued to the sight before him, seeing Dean like this, seeing him in this pure primal state had his heart thudding in his chest.

 

Jericho was right Dean was beautiful, beyond beautiful really.

 

Castiel could imagine being the focus of that lust, that love, that need that Dean had focused on the man above him. There was a want so deep in Castiel that is hurt- he could remember that same want from long ago. He’d wanted someone else just like this a long time ago, he’d never thought that he’d want someone like this again.

 

Jo pulled back from the door frame, not wanting to intrude on the heavy sexing going on in the room. She gently touched Castiel’s shoulder, bring the Angel’s focus onto her, and raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“I get that you have this whole lusting after Dean thing going on, so I’m going to leave you here and promise not to say a word about it later. Who knew our little angel was such a peeping tom.”

 

Castiel blushed a bright red and cleared his throat, he looked away from the two men but didn’t turn to leave.

 

“I am not,” Castiel protested weakly.

 

“Sure, sure,” Jo teased, “whatever you have to tell yourself.”

 

Jo left Castiel to his peep show choice and made her way down the hallway and into the living room to the three over grown babies cowering in the living room.

 

"Oh my God! My eyes! I'm blind, forever blind," Adam whined.

 

"There is not enough booze in the world to make that image leave my mind," Sam stated as he stood near the sofa.

 

"I’ve never in my life wanted to see that side of Dean,” Gabriel grumbled.

 

Jo rolled her eyes, "You big babies. Sam, Adam you're both adults and I know you’ve both had to have walked in on Dean at some point in your lives. Gabriel, I've seen the porn that you've been in- what's going on in that room is G-rated in comparison."

 

Adam’s head shot up and he glared at the Archangel who was smirking, Sam was beet red and looking anywhere and everywhere but at Gabriel.

 

“I dabbled in a few less than angelic things in my time on earth and a few of said things just so have happened to have been caught on camera. Also, may I add that those said things won me an award at the porno-Grammies.”

 

“I don’t know which is worse,” Adam groaned, “seeing my big brother banging or knowing that you have a sex tape out there and you won an award for it.”

 

"Where is Cass?"

 

Jo smirked, "Enjoying the show."

 

Dean threw his head back against the pillow beneath him, "Jericho! I’m going to- please let me-”

 

"That's it baby, I'm here," Jericho panted and he pounded into the body below him, "I've got you."

 

"Please- please Jericho! I need-"

 

Jericho pulled Dean into another passionate kiss, than whispered into his ear in a low husky voice, "Come for me Dean. That’s it baby, just let go, I want it all."

 

Dean lost it, right there he saw white- stars dancing through his vision and he went limp.

 

He barely registered it as Jericho came, he was just too gone- Dean was too lost in his post-orgasmic haze and the lovely tingly feeling that buzzed through his head. He did, however, feel the weight of Jericho’s body sag slightly on top of him, it wasn’t unpleasant and actually huffed in annoyance when the older teen rolled himself onto the bed to Dean’s left.

 

Jericho chuckled at the sound of annoyance that Dean made and quickly rectified the situation by pulling the smaller teen onto his chest before going completely limp.

 

“Better,” Jericho teased in a tired husky voice.

 

“Mmhm,” Dean answered with a noise muffled by Jericho’s chest.

 

Jericho chuckled as he held Dean as close as he could while he came down from his orgasmic high.

 

"You. Are. Amazing," Dean panted into Jericho's chest.

 

"You're pretty amazing yourself, baby boy," Jericho chuckled breathlessly.

 

Dean groaned and rolled off of his boyfriend and onto his back, Jericho covered Dean up with one of the sheets. Dean grinned and looked over at the older teen.

 

"You spoil me," Dean giggled.

 

“Just don’t want you to get cold,” Jericho chuckled, “I’m not looking forward to being woken up from a nice post sex nap by your freezing feet digging into the backs of my legs.”

 

“If I can’t use your legs to warm my feet then what good are they,” Dean whined.

 

"I think I screwed you silly," Jericho teased as he leaned forward and kissed Dean.

 

"I'm not arguing with that," Dean yawned, "however I am going to have to put a stop to the sex-a-thon and take a rain check on the post sex nap.”

 

Dean sat up and stretched, groaning as sore muscles protested his movements.

 

Jericho hefted himself up onto his elbows and pouted, "Why? Sex without a power nap after can hardly be considered proper sex. I thought we discussed this."

 

Dean smirked and leaned down to kiss Jericho, "Because Sammy is going to be home from school soon and I know seeing me and you naked and smelling like a porno in his bed will not go over well with him. In fact I think it send the poor kid into shock."

 

Jericho sighed, "Come on, a little shock is good for a kid."

 

Dean laughed, "Alright. So you wanna be the one to explain to my dad?"

 

Jericho paled, "Good point."

 

Dean grinned and got out of the bed with the sheet wrapped around him, Jericho watched him with a grin plastered on his face. Dean was looking for his boxers, when he caught Jericho watching him from the bed.

 

Dean smiled, "What?"

 

"One more round?"

 

"Dude four rounds is more than enough," Dean chuckled, "I'm already going to be limping as it is."

 

Jericho's grin widened, "Hey what can I say, I'm just that good."

 

"Yeah, just that good," Dean said as he rolled his eyes and went back to looking for his boxers.

 

"You know it's gonna be fun watching you explain the limp to Sammy-boy," Jericho teased.

 

Dean responded with hand gesture that had Jericho grinning.

 

"I would but you've said no round five," Jericho chuckled.

 

Dean shook his head, "Dude get up and go grab a shower. I have to wash Sammy's sheets before he gets home. I might be a bastard enough to screw in his bed but I'm not mean enough not to clean up."

 

"You're not a bastard, Sammy's bed was just the nearest."

 

Dean shook his head and continued looking for his boxers.

 

"Love you," Jericho said suddenly.

 

Dean stopped and smiled, "Love you to. Now, get your ass up and go grab a shower."

 

Jericho rolled out of bed, and walked over to Dean without a stitch of clothing on. Dean grinned as he turned and admired the view as Jericho made his way over to him.

 

" _We_ could grab a shower," Jericho suggested playfully.

 

Dean sighed as he wrapped the sheet around both he and Jericho, he wrapped his arms around Jericho's shoulder and leaned against him. Dean stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Jericho's, Jericho grinned and kissed Dean back.

 

"I love you, Dean Winchester," Jericho whispered, "you are the most amazing person I have ever met."

 

Dean smiled, "I'm not amazing. I'm ok but amazing is pushing it."

 

"You are amazing."

 

Dean sighed and laid his head against Jericho's chest. Dean didn't feel amazing, he felt lucky. Lucky that he got to have someone like Jericho, lucky that he wasn't alone, and lucky that someone like Jericho even wanted him.

 

Dean looked down for a moment, he was lucky not amazing.

 

"Dean? Baby boy don't."

 

Dean looked up, "Don't what?"

 

"Don't do that thing where you down yourself, babe."

 

"What? I'm not-"

 

"You are. You so are and I wish you wouldn't, you are amazing. I love you and you are amazing."

 

Dean blushed and rolled his eyes. Jericho smirked and kissed him again, Dean kissed him back.

 

"Alright, whatever. You smell like sweat and shame. Now, go hit the showers."

 

Jericho grinned, "Sweat and shame? Baby, why you gotta be so mean?"

 

Dean grinned, "Because I am amazing. Don't you know all amazing boyfriends are mean?"

 

Jericho grinned, "I'm fine with that."

 

Dean grinned, "Hit the shower. I gotta clean the sheets and air out the room. It smells in here."

 

Jericho sighed, "Why are you always cleaning everything?"

 

"Because, I don't like things being gross."

 

"Don't be such a chick," Jericho teased.

 

"Oh blow me," Dean shot back.

 

"My pleasure," Jericho chuckled.

 

"Horn dog," Dean sighed.

 

"You know it."

 

"I know, you, Bobby, Sammy, and Dad may have no issues with living in filth but I do."

 

"Dean, a little bit of dirt never hurt."

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "I like to keep things clean. My mom always keeps things clean. Plus, if I don't do this stuff myself Sammy will try to. I don't know about you but I don't want to be stuck with pink underwear and socks again."

 

"He didn't mean to," Jericho reminded as he picked up a pair of boxers and tossed them to Dean, "I mean really you have to be a total chick to know that kind of stuff."

 

Dean caught the boxers and rolled his eyes, "Jericho, everyone know not to mix colors with whites in the washer."

 

"I didn't and neither did Sammy."

 

"Well you both do now-"

 

Jericho cut him off with a kiss, Dean smacked his on his shoulder.

 

"Ouch," Jericho pouted.

 

"Shower," Dean commanded with a grin.

 

"Oh I love it when you get all assertive," Jericho chuckled.

 

Dean grinned, "I mean it. I don't want anyone walking in on us."

 

"Why don't you want your family to know about us, Dean?"

 

Dean's grin dropped and he got serious, he quickly started to try and get his boxers on. This wasn't a subject that he liked to talk about. He didn't want his family to know, not because he was ashamed but because he was afraid. He was afraid that his dad would hate him and leave him and that he little brother wouldn't see him as his hero, but as something odd. Dean couldn't lose his family, he didn't want to lose Jericho either, but his family- they were the most important people in his life.

 

"Dean, baby boy, I didn't mean to piss you off. I'm sorry."

 

Dean shrugged, "its okay. I just don't think it's a good time to talk to tell them. I mean, Sammy is just a kid and my dad he'd- God he'd flip his lid."

 

Jericho shrugged, "They might surprise you, Dee."

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yeah, no I don’t think in any universe that Dad wouldn’t flip his lid."

 

"Your dad loves me. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s, but I’m pretty sure that I’m his favorite."

 

“Does that help you sleep at night?”

 

“Yes, that and lots of hot sex with my amazing boyfriend,” Jericho deadpanned.

 

"It’s so cute how you think that you’re funny," Dean said as he gave Jericho a look.

 

“I’ll have you know that I am damn funny. If I must remind you I made Sammy snort milk out of his nose once,” Jericho reminded boastfully.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, “How could I ever forget that. I had to clean it up after all-”

 

A knock at the front door caused both the teens to freeze, Dean's eyes went wide.

 

"What time it is?"

 

"It's-" Jericho looked down at his watch, "-shit its 3:30."

 

"Oh shit!"

 

Dean quickly started to try and pull on the boxers. He was attempting to get his other leg through the hole when he tripped over the sheets and landed hard on the floor- disappearing from sight.

 

"Son of a bitch!"

 

"Dean?"

 

It was quiet on his side for a moment.

 

"Dean? Baby boy, you okay-"

 

"Go get in the damn shower! I mean it," Dean hissed from his spot on the floor.

 

"But, dude you hit the floor pretty damn hard. You sure that you're-"

 

"Shower. Now," Dean hissed as his head popped up from the other side of the bed, "or I swear-"

 

"Dean? Jericho? Come on open the door, it's freezing out here," Sammy called.

 

Dean was on his feet in an instant yanking the comforters and sheets from the bed, his boxers hung rather low on his hips as he held the bundle of dirty sheets in his arms.

 

"Son of bitch," Dean was basically chanting over and over as he noticed that Jericho had yet to move.

 

Jericho was standing rather dumbly in his exact spot. Dean sighed as he quickly rushed around the bed and grabbed the blonde giant.

 

Dean basically dragged the older teen along as he made a mad dash down the hall, he shoved Jericho into the bathroom and then paused before he yanked him down by his ear.

 

"I swear if we get caught by my little, you get no sex for a freaking month! I am not going to let my kid brother walk in with your junk swaying in the breeze."

 

"You are so cruel."

 

"I. Mean. It."

 

Jericho nodded and gave Dean a quick peck on the lips, "Yes sir!"

 

Jericho shut the door behind him and Dean just barely heard the shower cut on as he raced toward the laundry room and tossed Sammy's covers into the washing machine. Dean quickly rushed back to the room and cracked all the windows, sprayed some air freshener, and then made a mad dash for the front door. He paused only a second to compose himself before he calmly opened the door. He faked a yawn and rubbed at his eyes than looked down to see a rather annoyed mini-Sammy standing there.

 

"Oh, hey shortness. Home already?"

 

"Hey Dee, what took you long?"

 

"Sorry Sammy, I fell asleep. Did Ms. Willa bring you home?"

 

Sammy shrugged, "Yeah. She says hi."

 

Dean smirked, "See even the Cougars got a thing for me."

 

Sammy made a face, "Ew! That’s gross, Dee."

 

Dean chuckled as he let Sammy in, on the inside though, he was trying to calm down his racing heart and chase away the nervous thoughts.

 

"Did you have good day at school?"

 

Sammy sighed, "Its school, Dee. What do you think?"

 

Dean rolled his eyes as he shut the door, "Right. How stupid of me, to ask Mr. Sass about his day."

 

Sammy was have way to the kitchen when he stopped. Dean felt his heart race.

 

Did he know? Had he-

 

"Is the shower going?"

 

Dean had to fight to keep from sighing in relief, "Yeah."

 

"Is dad home?"

 

"Nope. Sorry-"

 

"Is it Jericho?"

 

Dean noticed Sam's sudden excitement as he asked.

 

"Yeah."

 

"Yes!"

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Worship much?"

 

Sam blushed, "Do not."

 

Dean shrugged, honestly he couldn't tease Sammy about that because in the long run, he himself rather worshipped the blonde.

 

Castiel watched quietly, with a blush in his face, as the world seemed to- evaporate?

 

Sam and Adam were standing close to Jo, both a testing to just how emotional scarred they were now.

 

"In my bed? That-that's just not right," Sam whined.

 

"I can't believe we saw Dean getting it on. I am forever mentally scarred," Adam grumbled.

 

Jo rolled her eyes and looked over as Castiel.

 

"Cass? Hey what's wrong?"

 

Castiel was standing quietly in the corner his eyes down cast and a frown on his face.

 

The littlest angel looked lost in thought, Jo also noticed that he did not look very happy.

 

"Cass?"

 

Jo walked over and gently touched the angel's shoulder.

 

Castiel looked up, "Yes?"

 

"Cass what's wrong?"

 

"Nothing- I-"

 

"Don't lie. You know that you suck at it. I mean Dean said that you were getting better but you still suck at it. So tell me what's up before we get forcefully shoved into another memory."

 

Castiel shrugged, "I-I am not entirely sure what is wrong. I am still having problems understanding human emotions."

 

Jo smirked, "Well I'm a girl and like most girls I'm an expert on the whole emotion thing, so lay it on me."

 

Castiel sighed, "I feel mad, angry that-that the boy was with Dean. Angry that Dean was happy with that boy and not-. I feel happy though, happy that Dean was happy with someone. I'm sad that Dean had to hide it and I'm sad that the Dean that I know is not as happy as the one I saw just now."

 

Jo sighed, "Wow, you got it bad sweetie."

 

Castiel looked up, "Huh?"

 

"You're in love with Dean," Jo stated bluntly.

 

Castiel went three shades of red before shaking his head violently.

 

"No! That- that is impossible. I-I-"

 

"You are. I can see it. You're in love with Dean and with Michael."

 

Jo smiled as she watched Castiel struggle with that truth, it was like watching a school girl who just figured out that she had a thing for her best friend.

 

Only in this case that school girl was an all mighty male angel, who just got that he was in love with his make human charge.

 

Jo was eating this up.

 

"He's in love with you to if that helps any," Jo assured.

 

"What?"

 

Castiel's eyes went wide as he looked up at the blonde before him. Jo's grin widened, leave it to Castiel to be this clueless.

 

"I've seen the way he's looked at you Cass, I mean it's beyond obvious that he's head over heels for you."

 

Castiel didn't look convinced, Jo frowned.

 

"I do not think so. Jo, just look at how in love he is with Jericho."

 

"Hey, if he loves him so much than why ain't Mr. Jericho still hanging around? I mean if Dean was as in love with him as he is with you don't you think that he'd still be around?"

 

Castiel shrugged, "Maybe. I mean yes?"

 

"Dean likes to keep the ones that he loves very close. If you haven't noticed none of us can even take two steps without Dean knowing it. He's got this whole overly protective mothering thing going on."

 

"Yes but-"

 

"Dean loves you. Jericho had to be a passing thing. Sure I can see the gratefulness that he feel toward him, because well Jericho sorta saved him but-"

 

"We're moving again!"

 

Jo and Castiel looked up as the darkness around them rippled and the deafening sound of crickets filled the air. It took a moment for the realization to hit that they were outside.

 

Over head the stars were bright and moon were bright illuminating the scrap yard around them- it was Bobby's -only with less clutter and fewer cars.

 

The sound of glass shattering broke the peaceful silence.

 

"YOU. STUPID. DRUNK BASTARD!"

 

Dean's voice echoed throughout the junkyard, the sound of metal hitting metal followed soon after. Sam was the first to take off in the direction, Adam and the others followed after him.

 

They began to slow as the sound of breaking glass grew louder.

 

Dean screamed out as he smashed the bat into the old rusted body of yet another car. His hands hurt like hell as the vibrations worked their way through them.

 

Honestly, he couldn't tell if it was the violent vibrations or the freezing temperature that was causing his hands to hurt like hell. He didn't really care, the pain was a welcome change from the numbness that had encased his entire being. He knew that the cold couldn't be entirely blamed for that numbness, no there were plenty of better things to blame on that.

 

Like for instance, his dad.

 

No, never mind, his dad didn't cause the numbness, his dad had caused the blinding fury.

 

His dad caused the stress, the anger, and the disappointment.

 

The man had stayed gone seven days over his promised return date. He hadn't bothered or attempted to call him. Dean had ended up hitting the streets, hitting them harder than normal. He had to get that extra money for Sammy, the kid had gotten sick. Fever, sniffles, exorcist vomiting, and all the crude that came with it.

 

Dean was lucky that he hadn't gotten sick, because if he had- they would've been screwed to hell.

 

Of course coming home with skinned up knees, a black eye, and numerous bruises hadn't been an upside.

 

In fact Dean was sure that his "back alley jobs" had caused Sammy that much more stress. The kid was sure that Dean was in the back alley fighting rings again.

 

God, it was pathetic how much Dean wished that that had been the case.

 

Taking a fist to the face in a good fair fight sounded a lot better than taking a fist to the face from some asshole because your teeth scrape his buddies cock or because you didn't swallow.

 

Yeah, Dean wished he had gotten the black eye from a back alley fight, at least then he wouldn't feel like a whore.

 

In the end, it had been Dean showing up late one night only to break down into a freaking panic attack and throw up his guts that had caused a feverish Sammy to call Bobby in tears- thus leading to Bobby calling Jericho and Jericho promptly showing up the next day.

 

 Jericho had been ready to chew Dean a new one, Dean had seen it in his eyes, but apparently seeing his boyfriend in a nearly panicked state of mind was shock enough to cause the teen to go into macho-boyfriend mode.

 

Jericho had had them packed up and in his RV before Dean could even register what the hell was going on.

 

After squaring Sammy away in the small back bedroom- meaning the kid was knocked out with a dose of just about every anti-biotic (within a safe range), wrapped in more quilts and blankets than humanly possible, and quietly drooling on Jericho's favorite pillow as he slept- Dean had quickly gotten into the RV's rather small shower and scrubbed himself pink. Jericho had driven as far as he could before sub coming to his worry over Dean and pulling over at a rest stop.

 

Dean had been thankful that he had made sure to pull the curtain to the back bedroom shut before he had opened the bathroom door. Jericho had stood there for a moment taking in the sight before him, it had left Dean’s stomach turning and his eyes stinging with tears.

 

Dean had been sitting in the farthest corner of the shower shaking and hugging his knees to his chest, as he hummed- he’d tried the periodic tables but they hadn’t worked at all.

 

"You did it again."

 

It hadn't been a question and it hadn’t needed an answer.

 

Dean had simply nodded, "Needed the money."

 

"You could've called me," Jericho had sighed, "Dean you know that I love you and Sammy. I'd do anything-"

 

"Sammy is my responsibility! I shouldn't have to ask others for help! I should be able to keep him safe!"

 

"YOU AREN'T FUCKING SUPERMAN! DAMN IT DEAN!"

 

Dean had flinched as Jericho yelled, he hadn't been use to the blond yelling like that. He had looked up in shock and saw the pinched look on his boyfriend's face.

 

"Jericho?"

 

"Usually I get it Dean. I get that you have this whole over bearing need to be the protector and all that shit but not this time! Damn it Dean, Sammy was running a fucking high fever! He needed to have the correct treatment, he needed help! The shit you pulled, hitting the streets to pull in cash? Dean that was the dumbest idea you've had yet! Think about like this since you don’t seem to give a shit about yourself, you get hurt out there and can't make it back to him, or you bump into the police, or God-fucking-forbid you get a john with a knife in his pocket instead of a stiffy who has a taste for killing whores. What would've happened to Sammy! Hell, did you stop to think about that! What about me? Did you stop to think, 'Hm wonder what my boyfriend would feel like after finding me gutted like a fish in some alleyway?' Damn it Dean, if you’re not going to give shit about yourself then think about us!"

 

Dean's fists had clenched, he had knew Jericho was right, but he was pissing him off. He didn't get it. He didn't understand that Dean had to be the one to protect Sammy. He was the only one left. Sam and Dad were the only ones left. They had to protect each other.

 

Jericho- he didn't understand that.

 

"Dean listen to me DAMN IT!"

 

"SHUT UP! Shut the hell up! You don't get it! I have to be the one to keep them safe! I'm responsible for them! We're family! We have to be there for each other! We haven't got anyone else!"

 

Jericho had shook his head, "You've got me!"

 

"You're not blood! You could leave at any time! How do I know that you'll stay?"

 

They had both gotten quiet after that, neither spoke. The only sound had been the shower going and the far off sound of Sammy snoring.

 

Jericho had walked off, leaving Dean sitting in the shower, by himself.

 

That had caused a pang of pain to lock up Dean's lungs. He hadn't meant to say that out loud, it had been something that was always at the back of his mind, but he had planned to never say that to Jericho.

 

God what if Jericho left him?

 

What if he stopped caring?

 

Dean couldn't handle that, he could lose him.

 

Jericho was important he-

 

Dean couldn't breathe he had started to choke, started to tremble.

 

No, he couldn't breathe.

 

Jericho was back in an instant with an oversized towel clutched in his hand and a panicked look on his face once he realized that Dean had thought he was leaving.

 

"Dean! Dean, calm down, baby boy!"

 

Jericho had yanked Dean into his arms, ignoring as his shirt was soaked through with water. He held Dean close and pressed Dean's hand to his chest, Jericho took deep breathes.

 

"Follow my breathing! Follow it Dean."

 

"Please don't leave! Please don't leave me!"

 

"I won't! I never will!"

 

"You left!"

 

"I only went to get you a towel. Calm down. I'm here baby boy. I'm right here! Follow my breathing."

 

Dean had nodded and quickly did as he was told, Jericho than began to sing.

 

" _Love me tender love me sweet_

_Never let me go_."

 

Dean's breathing slowed and his body relaxed into Jericho's arms. He let him hold him.

 

" _You have made my life complete and I love you so_."

 

Jericho gently wrapped him into the towel and held him up as he body went boneless in his arms. Dean sobbed quietly into Jericho's shoulder, not letting him see.

 

" _Love me tender love me true all my dream fulfilled_."

 

Jericho calmly turned off the water and picked Dean up. He carried him into the living room and sat him down.

 

" _For my darling I love you_

_And I always will._ "

 

Jericho dried Dean off and grabbed him clothes from the duffle bag sitting on the counter.

 

He dressed him calmly keeping Dean's breathing evened out.

 

" _Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart_

_For its there that I belong and we'll never part_

_Love me tender love me true_."

 

Jericho bandaged all the cuts and scarps on Dean and then pulled out the hide-away bed. He tucked Dean into bed and sat next to him gently brushing his fingers through his hair.

 

" _All my dreams full-filled_

_For my darling I love you and I always will_

_Love me tender love me dear_

_Tell me you are mine._ "

 

Jericho kissed Dean's forehead and smiled at him gently. Dean laid his head in his lap and tried let Jericho's voice calm him.

 

" _I'll be yours through all the years till the end of time_

_Love me tender love me true_

_All my dreams full-filled_

_For my darling I love you_

_And I always will._ "

 

Dean held on to Jericho and whispered, "Promise?"

 

"Promise?"

 

"That you always will?"

 

Jericho smiled, "I swear, in the name of the King I swear."

 

Dean chuckled, "Weirdo."

 

"Love you."

 

"Love you to."

 

"Hey Dee," Jericho had whispered as Dean drifted off.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You know that family ain't just about blood. It's got a bit more to it than that."

 

"What?"

 

Dean couldn't hold back the yawn, he had been exhausted.

 

Jericho had grinned and kissed him, "I'll explain later. Just go to sleep baby boy. When you wake up we'll be at Uncle Bobby's."

 

Dean nodded, "Kay. Love you."

 

"Love you to."

 

It had all been stupidly hard and over emotional. Dean had felt so- numb afterwards.

 

After seeing Jericho looking so exhausted the next day, Dean had felt horrible. He had felt like shit- like he was a burden on the love of his life.

 

Jericho had gotten them to Bobby's, he had taken care of Sammy and then said that he was going to go find John and kick his ass. Dean and Jericho had ended up in another argument over that. One that his dad had caused.

 

Afterwards, Jericho had left, assuring Dean that he was only going to grab food.

 

Dean knew he would be back, he knew that Jericho always came back. Just like Dad, even if it was a little late.

 

They both always came back.

 

Dean had felt empty after that, tired and empty.

 

He had snuck one of Bobby's whiskey bottles from the house after checking on Sammy and made his way out to the scrap yard. He had then allowed himself to get shitfaced and made friends with his favorite dented metal bat and went about beating out his emotions on wrecked cars.

 

He currently was going through his list of people to blame his anger and numbness on now.

 

Only he couldn't blame them and make the blame stick to them.

 

The blame kept coming back to himself.

 

He kept finding the cracks in his reasons to be angry at those people.

 

He kept seeing the naked truths that broke down his blame.

 

He knew the truth.

 

There was no one to blame his emptiness on.

 

No one other than himself.

 

The numbness came from himself.

 

That numbness, the emptiness, and the sorrow all came from within.

 

Dean could only blame himself for all of that.

 

Honestly there were things that he could try to do to make things better. He didn't have to be so weak. He should act more like Jericho and Dad. He should man up and toughen up.

 

Hell he still hasn't even gone on a hunt without his dad.

 

Jericho hunted on his own all the time, the guy even lived on his own. He traveled the country in his old RV and when he wasn't he had his own place back in Louisiana. Jericho was man enough to handle all the stupid shit out there. He didn't freak out and turn into a big sobbing baby.

 

He was so much better than Dean.

 

He was amazing and strong.

 

He loved Dean, even with how screwed up he was.

 

Jericho was so perfect and he loved him even with all his fucked up qualities.

 

Dean was- he was-

 

Dean screamed out again and brought the bat in his hands down hard smashing it through a back window.

 

He was nothing!

 

Nothing but a coward who just took all the shit thrown at him, who hid, who wouldn't man up!

 

Dean brought the bat down harder on another back window and glass went everywhere.

 

It shattered and glass sliced up his arms and nicked his cheek.

 

In that moment Dean felt fire light up throughout his body, it shocked him for a moment.

 

He felt everything, felt the ache in his shoulders from swing the bat so hard, felt the stinging bit of the cold winter night air on his bare arms, felt the painful sting in his hands from the vibrations coming off the bat, and felt the pain in his heart clawing at him.

 

He felt everything come to life.

 

Everything seemed to click.

 

He felt things in a way that he had before.

 

Nothing was numb.

 

Dean breath caught in his throat, he dropped the bat, barely hearing the loud metallic clang as it landed on the car's hood.

 

Dean's eyes locked onto the large piece of glass that was clinging onto his skin. Blood seeped out, coating the glass a dark red.

 

His hands shook as he brushed off the smaller pieces shivering as the scratched at his skin but did nothing more than tumble to the ground.

 

Dean's fingers brushed over the deeper embedded piece of glass, causing it to slice deeper.

 

Dean hissed as more blood flowed, he didn't move his fingers though.

 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and just starred at the glass.

 

The feelings surging through his body was amazing.

 

It left Dean grounded, he could focus.

 

He didn't feel like he was just floating hazily anymore.

 

He was actually here and could think.

 

Dean bit into his lip as he yanked the glass from his arm, he hissed and fell to his knees, shaking as feelings lit up his nervous system.

 

Dean almost couldn't catch his breath, this was- this was- amazing.

 

That's when Castiel saw it, a shadow- or what looked like one, wrapping it’s around Dean from the back. He could see two long parts of the shadow wrapping around and meeting at his chest. He looked back at Gabriel but no one seemed to notice it.

 

Dean took in a deep breath and looked over at the glass shard in his hand, then reality hit.

 

Dean chunked the glass across the scrap yard and quickly wrapped his hand tightly in his shirt as he stood up. His legs shook a bit as his head spun dangerously from the whiskey kicking in.

 

Dean quickly made a run for Bobby's house.

 

He snuck in through the front door and then up to his and Sammy's shared rooms. Dean quietly crept over to the first aid kit then slipped into the bathroom.

 

Dean cleaned his wounds in silence, wrapped them, and hid the bloody shirt deep in his duffle bag, and then quietly made his way back into the bedroom.

 

Dean looked over at Sammy and smiled.

 

The kid wasn't wheezing anymore.

 

He sounded better, no coughing in his sleep.

 

Dean felt his heart swell, he actually felt it. No half worry half love shit.

 

Just love and thankfulness that Sammy was getting better.

 

Dean kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed next to Sammy. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

 

"Hey Sammy I think things will get better. I think I'm gonna get stronger. I'm gonna be like Jericho and you can look up to me. I promise, I'll be a better brother."

 

Dean closed his eyes and held his little brother close.

 

Sam shook his head, "Damn it Dean."

 

"Christ, Sammy did he- does Dean-"

 

"I never saw him do that. I never knew. Christ there's shit loads of stuff that I don't know about my own brother. "

 

"He harmed himself? Gabriel why did Dean do that?"

 

Gabriel sighed as he walked over to Castiel and put his hand on his shoulder.

 

"Humans are weird sometimes Cass. Sometimes they do these stupid things to make themselves feel better. What Dean did, it was extremely stupid, but it-it made him feel better."

 

"Why? Why would he feel better from hurting?"

 

"Think about it Cass," Gabriel sighed, "the kid's life has been uber fucked up. Love isn't something that he fully comprehends. He's numb or some shit and then- then I guess hurt makes it better somehow."

 

"Wow you suck at explaining things," Adam sighed.

 

"Oh blow me," Gabriel grumbled- minus his usual snarkiness.

 

Seeing Dean of all people like that seemed to be able to zap Gabriel of his snarkiness.

 

"That would be Sammy's job," Adam grumbled.

 

"What? Excuse me! Adam stop being a-"

 

"Dude please, its obvious okay! Hell I'm no expert on that stuff but I mean come on! Dean even knows, of course seeing that he's an expert of that I see why, but I mean come on we all know. Even Cass knows."

 

"Adam," Jo hissed, "enough."

 

"What?"

 

"You're being an asshole," Jo snapped.

 

"I'm just-"

 

"Pissed off. I get that," Sam assured, "but stop being an ass. Dean did what he did, we can't change that. It's in the past. All of this shit- it's already happened. Get pissed if you want but don't be an ass."

 

Adam looked away then back to Sam, "I'm sorry."

 

"It's okay Adam."

 

"Why would he- I mean Dean isn't supposed to- he's- he's freaking Batman," Adam stumbled over his words.

 

Sam nodded understanding him, "Yeah, well even Batman had issues."

 

The air rippled and suddenly there was Dean, not the younger shy Dean, but the seventeen-year old Dean that Sam knew.

 

The Dean that seemed to be more like their Dean.

 

This Dean had confidence and fire in his eyes.

 

This Dean also seemed more dangerous.

 

It wasn't his normal dangerousness, this seemed almost- deadly.

 

Dean was standing next to Jericho aiming a gun in Gabriel's direction, Gabriel actually jumped and stumbled to the left a bit before reality hit him.

 

Adam couldn't help but chuckle and Sam couldn't help but smirk.

 

"Shut up Sam," Gabriel grumbled.

 

"I didn't say a thing," Sam chuckled.

 

"Yeah well still shut up."

 

"You look ridiculous carrying a gun that big," Jericho teased as he and Dean made their way through the rather dark and creepy warehouse.

 

"What? Dude you're just jealous that mine is bigger than yours," Dean chuckled.

 

Jericho rolled his eyes, "I'm sure we both know that," he wrapped his free arm around Dean's waist and pressed his groin into Dean's back, he leaned down and placed his lips next to Dean's ear, "that isn't true."

 

Dean grinned as Jericho kissed the shell of his ear and let him go, "Alright, so we are officially no longer talking about guns here."

 

"What? Of course we were. Dee, keep you mind out of the gutter."

 

"Right, my mind is in the gutter," Dean chuckled.

 

"Well, you did say that-"

 

A loud crash cut him off, Dean was off in a second, shotgun aimed and ready.

 

"Dean!"

 

"Sammy is in that direction," Dean hissed over his shoulder, "you take the right, I'm hitting the middle."

 

"Got it! Be careful," Jericho whispered back.

 

Dean came up on the creature before Jericho, standing before him was a rather pissed off looking demon. Sammy was against the wall, his eyes wide and his gun a few feet away.

 

Dean's lips pulled back into a snarl, it honestly looked like he was about to growl in anger.

 

"Let him go you black eyed bitch," Dean growled.

 

Sam and Castiel watched Dean, there was no quiver in his voice, no nervousness in his eyes- he looked deadly and effective as hell.

 

"Dean-" Sammy whimpered.

 

"I got ya Sammy," Dean assured, "just stay calm."

 

"You've got him? I don't think so Dean," The demon cackled.

 

"Christo," Dean growled with such malice that Demon actually flinched.

 

"Language Dean," the demon growled.

 

"Hell you think that's bad, just wait till you hear the little exorcism spell I got for you."

 

"See Samuel, you're big brother has such a foul mouth. Just ask Jericho."

 

Dean gut clenched, "Shut up."

 

"Then again I don't think Jericho has any issue with the foulness of Dean's mouth."

 

"What?"

 

A shot rang out, knocking the Demon back a few feet, it stunned him enough for his hold on Sammy to drop. Dean reacted before anything could be said, he Sammy and stood between him and the Demon shooting off two rounds- sending the Demon stumbling back three more steps.

 

"You're right I just adore Dean's little foul mouth. Makes life interesting, he's got a way with words," Jericho chuckled as he walked out from the shadows.

 

His gun went off two more times making the Demon hiss but stumble further back.

 

"You little shits," the demon hissed.

 

The Demon attempted to move toward Jericho, only it couldn't.

 

"What the-"

 

"Devil's trap," Jericho chuckled, "got you, bitch."

 

Dean gave Jericho a smirk than turned around to face Sammy, he pulled the boy to his feet and looked him over. Dean never could make his mother hen tendencies go away, they seemed to get worse.

 

"You okay? No scrapes? Broken bones? Any-"

 

"Dean! Dude, I'm fine. Chill," Sammy grumbled.

 

Dean rolled his eyes as he dusted Sammy off and handed him his gun back.

 

"Next time don't drop this," Dean sighed.

 

Sam took it with a frowned, "I didn't mean to. You try getting thrown against a wall."

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "You were supposed to lead the demon to the circle before it threw you against a wall. Where you not paying attention to my plan?"

 

"Dean, you gonna get him out to the car?"

 

"What? Wait I wanna watch," Sammy protested.

 

Dean shot Jericho a glare, "Thanks Prince Charming, wanna throw anything else in to piss off the preteen?"

 

"Sorry, my bad," Jericho mumbled.

 

"Dude! Dean I wanna watch-"

 

"Nope, you are going back out to the RV and locking the door until I get there."

 

"Dean!"

 

"Now Sammy," Dean growled.

 

"But-"

 

"Do what he says Sammy, you know he'll just bitch till you do. I promise I'll put in a good word for you next time," Jericho said.

 

Sammy frowned, "Fine."

 

"Thank you," Dean sighed.

 

As soon as Dean was sure that Sammy was out of ear shot he turned to the demon and shot it in the shoulder.

 

"Alright, exorcise _this_ bitch so I can go calm down the moody bitch in the RV," Dean sighed.

 

Jericho rolled his eyes, "Don't refer to him as a bitch while speaking to him. I'd like the ride home not to be a filled with the horrible sound of you two screeching at each other."

 

"Shut up and just say the damn prayer thing."

 

"Fine."

 

Jericho quickly dispatched the demon and brought out the lighter fluid and salt for the body. Dean was quietly watching Jericho as the body went up in flames.

 

The demon had taken over a corpse this time, it was new but at this point Dean wasn't shocked by what Demons did anymore.

 

Dean was suddenly jerked forward and pulled into a mind-blowing-toe-curling kiss, by Jericho.

 

Dean seemed rather ridged for a few moments, it was odd because in the other memories he never was. In the other memories, Castiel had noticed that Dean melted into the kisses, but now he seemed- not so eager to be touched.

 

Slowly Dean melted into the kiss, slowly he returned it, the whole time Jericho seemed patient and willing to wait for Dean to meet him halfway.

 

When he finally met him halfway the kiss took off.

 

Almost turning pornographic as Jericho's hands cupped Dean's ass and pulled him closer, pulling a moan out of Dean.

 

Jericho pulled back with a smirk, leaving Dean breathless and looking a bit frazzled.

 

"Where did that come from?"

 

Jericho grinned, "Oh that? Nowhere, I just thought it was hot watching you shoot off that gun and go all Rambo up in here."

 

Dean smirked, "Ok for clarification, the shooting off reference- was that sex related or do you have a gun kink that I need to look into?"

 

Jericho's grinned widened, "Maybe a little of both."

 

Dean smirked, "I don't know if I should take you to rehab for sex addicts or let you fuck me into the nearest wall."

 

Jericho leaned down and nibbled at Dean's neck causing the teen's legs to wobble a bit.

 

"I'd vote for the second one but then again Princess Sammy needs to be consoled."

 

"Can't I do that after?"

 

"Nope, I refuse to be the cause of you not fulfilling your big brotherly duties, plus, I know that you'll feel bad for not going straight to him."

 

Dean sighed and wrapped his arms around Jericho's neck, he kissed him gently then pulled away.

 

"You are a grade A boyfriend. I swear it’s like you're Mr. Perfect."

 

"I know. I'm the type of guy that you write home about. The type that makes your every dream come true while simultaneously making those panties wet."

 

Dean smacked Jericho and rolled his eyes, "Yup, I was just imagining that amazingness. You're still a pervert."

 

“Yeah,” Jericho agreed as he pressed his body close to Deans and gave him the sexy bedroom eyes he could muster, “but I’m your pervert, baby boy.”

 

Dean shook his head and quickly made his way for the RV, leaving Jericho laughing and to grab their things.

 

"Love you to, Dee!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look two chapters within a month!  
> Yay!  
> For real though, the next chapter is gonna hurt- like ouch my feels what the hell have you done!  
> I might have gotten a little teary eyed writing it.  
> Also I'm getting near the end here- the original story I wrote ended two chapters after this one.   
> So the end is nigh my dear duckies, though I'd really like to do a few side stories with more Jericho and then more Michael and Castiel to.   
> Let me know if you guys would like the idea of that.  
> Well I hope you liked this chapter make sure to like and comment and I hope everyone has an awesome day.


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

The world twisted and there was Dean sitting quietly on Jericho's bed.

 

"I want you to come stay with me for a while," Jericho whispered.

 

Dean chewed at his lip and looked away from Jericho. He wanted to, he wanted to so badly, but what about Sammy? What about Dad?

 

"Dean?"

 

"I don't know," Dean sighed, "I mean Jericho I have responsibilities. I can't just run off."

 

"Dean please. I could really use your help working some cases there anyway and maybe spending a little time away from your family wouldn't hurt."

 

Dean didn't agree Sammy needed him, "Jericho."

 

"Please. You don't have to stay long," Jericho pleaded.

 

Dean looked up in surprise, there was something in his eyes. Something there that looked like it was begging.

 

Dean shrugged, "A little while. I mean not too long, because Sammy-"

 

"Uncle Bobby said that Sammy can stay with him until you get back. He said that the local school isn't too far from his house and that-"

 

"You've really thought this over," Dean chuckled.

 

Jericho smiled as he took Dean's hand and ran his thumb over the boy's knuckles.

 

"Yeah, I did. I really want you to come stay with me, even if it’s not for very long. It's very important to me Dean."

 

Dean looked away, he could feel the fabric of his sleeves rubbing uncomfortably against his wrists. He felt guilty and sad, but he also felt excited about the thought of living with Jericho, terrified of the thought of leaving Sammy, and head over heels in love with the man next to him.

 

He felt it all, felt it all because of that rough rub of his long sleeves against the cuts on his arms that they hid. Dean knew that he wouldn't be able to do that while under Jericho's roof. He couldn't let Jericho see, he wouldn't understand.

 

"Alright, I'll talk with my Dad. I'll see what he says."

 

Jericho smiled as he leaned forward and kissed Dean.

 

"Thank you, I love you."

 

"I love you to," Dean whispered.

 

The memories seemed to be moving faster now. Castiel noticed that things were becoming rushed. Thing seemed to be pushing for something to be seen. Something that left Castiel with a bad feeling in his gut.

 

"Something bad is going to happen," Castiel stated.

 

"You feel that to?"

 

"Well we knew that something bad was going to show up," Gabriel sighed, "that was the point."

 

"I know but- Gabriel, I don't think I want to see anymore," Castiel admitted he looked up at his brother, "I don't want to see Dean in pain anymore."

 

"Castiel," Gabriel sighed.

 

"I don't want to see him hurting," Castiel insisted.

 

"If we don't figure out what it is that ties all the Hag's victims together then Dean will keep suffering and so will Michael."

 

Castiel looked away from his brother and shook his head, "I know but-"

 

"There's no buts here, Cass," Sam sighed, "we've got to do this. Dean needs us."

 

Castiel nodded, "Yes. I understand that but-"

 

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS?"

 

"Jericho stop yelling! Stop acting stupid!"

 

The sound of glass breaking was almost painfully loud as the sight of Dean standing in the middle of a living room holding his wrist and looking at the floor. Jericho was over near a mantel piece, chest heaving, and his crystal blue eyes locked on Dean.

 

"I'm acting stupid? That's rich, considering that you're the one who's slicing up his arms and thighs!"

 

"Jericho-"

 

"No! Dean you can't do this anymore- I can't- can't find you like that again!"

 

The image of Dean sitting in the middle of a bathroom, his head limply laying against his chest as blood pours from his wrist. In one hand he held his silver switch blade glinted in the light, stained with blood and in the other he clutched a stained towel trying to stop the bleeding.

 

"I didn't mean for that to happen!"

 

Jericho whirled around and advanced on Dean, he grabbed his by his shoulders and shook him roughly.

 

"You. Sliced. Your. Fucking. Wrists!"

 

"I-I-"

 

"You tried to kill yourself Dean," Jericho whispered, "you- you almost left me. You almost left Sammy, Uncle Bobby, and your Dad. What would've happened if I hadn't gotten back home when I did? You could've-"

 

Jericho stops, he wraps his arms around Dean and holds him close. He held Dean against him and trembled. Dean closed his eyes and held him back, his bandaged wrist came into sight as his arms tightened around Jericho.

 

"I'm sorry-I'm so sorry," Dean whispered.

 

"Don't leave me," Jericho whispered, "remember Dean, I promised not to leave you ever. You can't leave me either. This is a two way street, Dee."

 

Dean bit into his lip and held tighter to Jericho.

 

"I'm sorry. I promise, I won't leave. I'm so sorry Jericho," Dean whispered.

 

The shadow was darker now, it still clung to Dean's back.

 

"Gabriel look," Castiel whispered, "there's something-"

 

"I know, that's what we've been looking for," Gabriel sighed, "that's what's going to show us the link."

 

"What is it? What is that thing around Dean?"

 

"I'm not entirely sure just yet Cass," Gabriel admitted.

 

A gun shot broke through the air.

 

The world around them was in chaos, it was like something was trying to speed up time while also trying to force them to stop altogether.

 

The world around them rushed faster pulling together to show Dean standing alone.

 

He stood in the middle of an empty flat, his back was facing a row of giant picture windows that let in the moon light from outside.

 

The moon light was the only thing lighting the dark empty room.

 

Dean had blood pouring down the side of his head from a gash above his eyebrow, in one arm he held a sawed-off and in the other a silver knife that caught the shiver moonlight.

 

The sound of rough breathing could be heard just out of the touch of the moonlight.

 

The look on Dean's face wasn't one of a born hunter but of an empty man.

 

"Where is he? What did you do with him?"

 

There was no reply, only the heavy breathing.

 

Dean's head lolled to the side, like it was too heavy for his own neck to hold up, and blood splattered onto the cold concrete floor.

 

"Where is he? Tell me now," Dean croaked.

 

Sam cocked his head to the side, it almost seemed like Dean didn't want an answer. He didn't demanded anything, it was more like he was pleading with the creature hidden in the shadows not to tell him.

 

The breathing slowly evened out into a dry, scratchy chuckle.

 

Dean winced at the sound and took in a ragged breath, "Tell me now."

 

Again there was no malice or force there.

 

Castiel felt his gut tighten, something- something horrible was about to happen.

 

Some important to their quest, but something horrible for Dean.

 

"You already know the answer to that question, Dee."

 

Dean's eyes closed, clenching tightly together, as some twisted version Jericho's voice echoed out from the darkness.

 

"Oh God no," Jo whispered.

 

"What? Jo what's happened?"

 

Jo shook her head, tears were in her eyes.

 

Dean took a shaky breath and opened his eyes, there were no tears there, just an emptiness.

 

"Give him back." Dean hissed.

 

"Can't do that, Dee. He made the deal, ten years was all he'd get. His ten years are-"

 

"GIVE HIM BACK!"

 

Castiel jumped at the tone in Dean's voice, he had never heard that before.

 

"Oh poor little Dean," the voice cackled, "he left you didn't he."

 

Dean raised the gun, "Give him back."

 

"Can't do it kid. He made the deal. He asked to find the one true love of his life, the one person that would never leave him. Too bad for him that it was you, huh."

 

Dean didn't seem to register the look in his eyes was still blank, "Give him back."

 

"What? Are you deaf and dumb or something? You ain't getting him back you little shit, and even if I did leave, you'd just have a shredded up corpse left to deal with. Jericho is long gone, his soul was taken. I was just lucky that the demon left his body for me."

 

Dean shook his head, "GIVE HIM BACK!"

 

A chuckle echoed out from the shadows, "I get it. You're in shock. I guess it's understandable, you did just watch the love of your life get rip to pieces. You couldn't even see what took him, you could only the sound of their teeth and claws tearing into-"

 

BLAM! BLAM!

 

Dean shot into the shadows, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

 

A wicked giggle tore through the air followed by the sound of bare feet scuffling across the floor. A blur was behind Dean in an instant.

 

"DEAN!"

 

Castiel, Sam, and Adam's voices rang out loudly as Dean was knocked across the room.

 

He hit the far brick wall before landing like a rag doll on the concrete floor.

 

Dean didn't move for a moment, he just laid there and looked up at the figure that now stood where he had been only seconds ago.

 

Illuminated by the moon's light was a gruesome version of Jericho. Jo gasped, her eyes went wide as he hands covered her mouth in shock.

 

The Jericho that stood before them, was a monstrosity.

 

"A ghoul took his body," Jo whispered as tears sprang to her eyes.

 

"Oh God no," Sam said shaking his head.

 

"Oh Dean," Castiel whispered.

 

He looked like a twisted version of a rag doll. His body was twisted and mangled, skin was torn open in places revealing bone and muscle tissue, while in some places human parts had been replaced by parts of the creature that was wearing the body. Large corpse like arms replaced his own, his face was clawed, one of his eyes were missing, and his mouth was ripped into a jagged smile.

 

This thing wasn't Jericho anymore.

 

Dean's eyes looked on at the creature, his own green eyes looked cold and dead.

 

"Give- give him back," Dean wheezed.

 

"You're starting to annoy me. I don't know how the kid put up with you."

 

"Jericho-"Dean wheezed.

 

"I mean jeez you're pathetic," the creature went on.

 

Dean slowly stood up, only his sawed off was still in his hand.

 

"Please, you can't kill me. You still think that you can get him back."

 

Dean leaned back against the wall and coughed, blood dribbled down his chin.

 

"Think about it like this, at least the last thing you get to see is your boyfriend's twisted corpse tearing you to shreds."

 

Dean didn't say a word, he quietly leaned back against the wall.

 

The creature was in front of him in the blink of an eye, he shoved Dean against the wall and knocked away the sawed off, then caressed his face with a broken and clawed hand before grinning. Black putrid blood cascaded from the creature's mouth, it dripped onto Dean's face and neck as the monster gave him a sniff.

 

"You smell so pretty, my sweet broken little toy. I can't wait to eat you up."

 

Dean shook his head and looked up into the creature's eyes, he looked into the still beautiful blue eye that remained- he smiled for a moment than took a ragged and broken breath.

 

"You'll have to keep waiting," Dean whispered.

 

The creature's eyes went wide as the sound a gun cocking echoed after Dean's voice.

 

Dean thrusted the barrel of Jericho's hand gun right against the underside of the creature's chin.

 

"I'm so sorry Jericho," Dean whimpered.

 

"NOO-"

 

The creature was cut short as a bullet went through its head, ending him.

 

Dean flinched as blood spattered his face. He watched as the Ghoul seemed to just evaporate, leaving behind Jericho's torn and broken body. Dean dropped the gun as he caught Jericho's corpse before it hit the ground- he struggled with the dead weight until his knees finally gave out.

 

He and the corpse fell to the ground.

 

Dean laid there quietly covered in his and Jericho’s blood. Once Dean could muster up the strength he rolled the corpse off of him and onto its side near him. Dean then collapsed beside the corpse and clutched the torn and mangled hand in his own.

 

He didn't say a word or move for the longest after that.

 

Then, finally, the dam broke, Dean screamed out in anger, cried, cursed, and yelled until his voice cracked and he could taste blood in the back of his throat. He looked like he was insane, like he was broken beyond repair.

 

In a wild moment he took Jericho’s gun and put the barrel under his chin, closed his eyes, and squeezed the trigger-only to have nothing happen.

 

He did it four more times before he finally screamed in angry frustration and through the gun aside. He laid back down and held tightly to Jericho's lifeless corpse, his sobs wracking his tired and sore body. It was a heart breaking sight to behold.

 

After what seemed like hours, Dean finally sat up, he seemed to quietly contemplate something before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He starred down at the old beat up flip phone before he finally dialed the number shakily.

 

After two rings someone answered.

 

"Dean? Dean what's happened? Are you and Jericho-"

 

"He's dead," Dean answered his voice sounding hollow, "it got him."

 

"What?"

 

"The ghoul Bobby, it got him," Dean said, his voice breaking midsentence, “something- something else got him first and then the Ghoul. It…It got him Bobby.”

 

"Damn it," Bobby hissed, "DAMN IT!"

 

"Bobby, please put Sammy on the phone," Dean pleaded, “I need to he

 

"Dean are you -"

 

"Please put Sammy on the phone," Dean repeated.

 

There was a pause before the sound the phone being handed over.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Hey, Sammy" Dean whispered.

 

Dean clenched his eye shut, letting Sammy’s voice fill his head.

 

"Dean what happened?"

 

"I'm coming home," Dean stated ignoring the question.

 

"That's good, I really miss you and Jericho-"

 

"He's dead Sammy. The ghoul got him," Dean said bluntly.

 

Dean couldn’t do delicate right now, he couldn’t ease Sammy into it, because he was still to numb to handle being delicate with the news. His mind felt one tracked and incapable of forming an easier way of telling Sammy what had happened. The words just came out with no filter.

 

"W-what?"

 

"I'm coming home,” Dean went on not wanting to dive into what had only just happened so soon.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Love you kid. I'll be back home in a few days," he could hear how broken his own words sounded.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Give the phone back to Bobby, please" Dean requested knowing that he couldn’t hold it together with Sammy anymore.

 

He’d thought that hearing Sammy’s voice would’ve pulled him back together but it seemed to have just shattered him all the more. His mind seemed to have shut down and he couldn’t manage to lie and force himself to pull himself back together.

 

"Dean, wait-"

 

"Please, Sammy," Dean begged as he voice broke slightly.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Bobby, do you want me to go ahead and burn him?"

 

He knew that Bobby had heard him, he didn’t have to pretend that he hadn’t.

 

"Dean you don't have to-"

 

"Bobby, don't. Just please answer me," Dean pleaded.

 

"Yeah, go ahead if you can, Dean. I-I'd like to see him but it'd be safer if you went ahead."

 

"Alright. I'll be home in a few days. Bye Bobby."

 

"Dean, wait-"

 

Dean quietly hung up and tucked his phone away. He stumbled to his feet and slowly walked over to his duffle bag, its contents were scattered across the floor from before. He’d dumped it out earlier trying to find something- anything to save Jericho.  Dean slowly grabbed the lighter fluid and salt then stumbled back over to Jericho's body, his legs felt like jelly and he felt almost disconnected from his own body.

 

Dean poured the lighter fluid and salt over the body then collapsed to his knees, his breath started coming out in frantic pants and his chest hurt like hell.

 

That's when the tears began blur his vision, he felt them running down his face as he struggled to catch his breath.

 

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around himself as his body trembled.

 

It looked like he was trying to hold himself together- then again that was probably the case.

 

That's when the shadow appeared again, it was pitch black now. Castiel knew that everyone could see the thing now. It had a profile now, a feminine one that mirrored that of the Hag when she was in her less terrifying form. Castiel could now tell that the things around Dean's chest were her arms, her hands disappeared into Dean's chest. She was clinging to his back like some kind of parasite.

 

"It's the Hag's other part," Adam whispered, "the part that connects with the victim."

 

Dean became silent again, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his lighter. His hand shook so hard that it took four tries before Dean could get the flame lit and even then it took him two attempts before he could set the body on fire.

 

Dean dropped the lighter to the side as the flame lit and watched quietly as the body went up in flames. He sat there for a moment then crawled back against the brick wall and pressed himself into it, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

 

"I won't leave you Jericho," Dean whispered, "I promise."

 

Dean quietly watched as the flames ate away everything that was once Jericho.

 

That's all it was now, just another body.

 

Just another someone he knew that the fire would eat away before the sun came up.

 

Dean silently hoped that the fire would catch and burn the entire place down with him in it- at least then he might be able to follow after Jericho.

 

He stayed like that until the sun came up, he would've stayed like that longer if Bobby and his dad hadn't of shown up a few hours after first light.

 

John Winchester was the first into the room, he’d rushed in like a bat out of hell gun at the ready and a look in his eyes. At first he flinched from the over whelming smell of burnt flesh and dried blood, but when he saw Dean in the far corner he pushed it all aside and went into father mode. John rushed over to Dean, side stepping the pile of ashes as he went and dropped to his knees beside his son. Dean didn’t register his father wrapping his arms around him or John’s lips pressing to the crown of his head, it took him a ridiculously long time to even fully register that his dad was actually there and holding him.

 

"Dean. Dean, say something son, are you hurt?”

 

Dean didn't look away from the ash pile or speak.

 

John didn’t need to ask to know who the pile of ashes had once been.

 

"Dean, are you hurt? I need you to answer me," John tried again as he tried to look Dean over for injuries.

 

Dean didn't respond, he still didn't move a muscle. John shook his head, he understood- Dean was in shock, but he needed to know if he was in imminent danger of losing his son to any wounds.

 

He sighed and gently went to pick his son up- that's when Dean reacted.

 

"NO! NO! I CAN'T LEAVE HIM! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

 

Dean was kicking and screaming as his dad tried to pick him up.

 

"He's gone Dean!"

 

"NO! NO! I PROMISED! I PROMISED NOT TO LEAVE HIM,” Dean screamed as his thrashed wilding and managed to break free of his Dad’s arms.

 

Dean fell from his dad's arms and crawled closer to what was left of Jericho, his hands accidently slid into the ashes and Dean went dead still.

 

He lifted his hand and looked at the ash that clung to it, that's when exhaustion kicked in and the reality became too much for Dean to handle.

 

Dean's eyes rolled back into his head and he fell.

 

John reacted in the blink of an eye, catching his son before he could hit the floor and picking him up as gently as he possibly could.

 

"Shh, I've got you. I’ve got you, Dean,” John whispered as he held Dean close to his chest.

 

Bobby and Sammy came running in after that, finding the two.

 

Bobby took one look at the ash pile then at Dean and then looked away and cursed loudly, Sammy almost burst into tears. Bobby took hold of him and held him, pulling him away from the sight.

 

"Is Dean alright?"

 

Bobby’s voice sounded strained like he was trying to hold himself together for Sam and John’s sakes.

 

"I don't know Bobby," John answered, "I don't know."

 

Bobby didn't need to have anything explained to him, he understood what the eldest Winchester meant. Physically Dean was find but mentally- well they wouldn’t know for sure for a while.

 

"Take him and Sammy back to the car," Bobby sighed, "I-I need a little time in here."

 

John nodded as he carried Dean out of the room with Sammy at his heels.

 

"Dad, is Dean okay!"

 

"Hush Sammy," John snapped.

 

Sammy glared at his father and took Dean's hand.

 

"Please be okay Dean," Sammy whispered.

 

“He’ll be okay, Sammy,” John assured, “he’s a Winchester.”

 

The shadow seemed to turn and take notice of them, seeing those who intruded on its meal and its displeasure over said intrusion could be felt even across the room.

 

“Is she looking at us,” Castiel heard Jo ask from behind him.

 

The shadow’s head tilted slowly to the side in a slow and eerie way that left even Castiel with an uncomfortable shiver running up his back.

 

“Yeah,” Sam spoke up, “yeah I think she sees us.”

 

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good thing,” Adam pointed out.

 

Castiel watched as the shadow stayed even as everything around them disappeared, they were left in the now empty apartment room in the past with the shadow figure silently standing across from them.

 

“What do you want,” Castiel snapped suddenly.

 

“Cass,” Adam spoke up, “maybe you shouldn’t piss off the shadow thing while we are unarmed.”

 

The shadow twitched in a disjointed sort of way, its head snapped back up right, but it didn’t otherwise move and inch.

 

“Gabriel can take him, right Gabriel,” Jo prompted.

 

“Actually, if you will remember I specifically told you that Angel mojo doesn’t work here,” Gabriel reminded.

 

There was a tense silence before Adam so eloquently broke it with a few words of situational wisdom.

 

“Wow, so we are fucked pretty hard right now, huh.”

 

“Yeah, pretty much,” Gabriel admitted.

 

Sam followed with his own words of wisdom-

 

“Son of a bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and Sad chapter I know, I'm sorry. The next two I had to completely rewrite because the ending of the original fic doesn't match with this rewrite and the be honest the original ending was a really bad halfassed attempt at a fic.
> 
> Anyway I hope you guys liked this heart wrenching chapter.   
> Seeya later.


	15. Chapter 15

“What are the chances that we could make a run for it,” Jo questioned quietly, “we do have a clear shot of the door.”

 

“Can we do that? I mean what about the whole weird time travel spell thing?”

 

“I’m not an expert at this,” Gabriel admitted as they nervously watched the unmoving shadow, “but running sounds like a kick ass plan right now.”

 

“And if that doesn’t work,” Sam all but hissed.

 

“Well there’s like five of us,” Gabriel pointed out, “I mean some of us are sure to get away. Whoever gets tagged it’s been nice knowing you.”

 

“You are an ass,” Sam scoffed.

 

“Yeah, well I’d rather be an ass than be dead,” Gabriel huffed.

 

“See, this is why you are my least favorite Angel currently in the room,” Adam snapped.

 

“So, we are running right,” Jo asked, “just so I know the plan.”

 

“Yeah, you’ve got the basics down,” Sam assured.

 

Chaos was the only word to explain what followed as they all made a mad dash for the door.

 

Castiel was flung across the room by an unseen force as was Gabriel, the shadow was on Jo before she even reached the doorway, and Sam and Adam were both throw to the ground.

 

Castiel felt the wind get knocked out of his lungs as he hit a very solid wall, he slid down said wall trying to catch his breath. He was really doubting what Gabriel had said about not being able to be hurt- his back disagreed and the back of his head ached painfully from the impact.

 

A choked off scream ripped Castiel from his aches and pains, his head snapped up to find Jo pinned under the shadow. The thing had its hands wrapped around her throat and Jo was trying in vain to dislodge the thing from her neck.

 

“Jo!”

 

Adam was the first on his feet and the first into action. Castiel managed to stagger to his feet right as Adam managed to tackle the shadow creature off of Jo- Castiel saw the surprise on Adam’s face as he and the surprisingly solid shadow being hit the floor and rolled.

 

Castiel was on his feet rather quickly and making his way to help Adam, out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Gabriel and Sam getting to their feet to help.

 

Castiel was almost at Adam’s side when the younger man was tossed off of the Shadow creature, he managed to tackle the creature before it could pounce back onto the human.

 

Castiel found himself grappling with the creature on the floor, they rolled momentarily, before Castiel managed to pin the creature and that’s when he actually got a good look at the thing.

 

He didn’t like what he saw.

 

The creature wasn’t actually made of shadows, from far away it could easily be mistaken for being made of shadows, but up close you could see what it was really made of.

 

Pure rot.

 

She was a mass of blackened rotted flesh.

 

The smell filled Castiel’s nose and his lungs, choking him in and making his eyes water, he had to turn his face away to lessen the stench’s effect somewhat.

 

Castiel fought not to vomit as his held her to the floor, he coughed and gagged violently but managed to keep his hold on her and his stomach contents inside his stomach.

 

The creature hissed and growled violently at Castiel but was unable to throw him.

 

Castiel held his breath and turned back to face the creature, that’s when he noticed her eyes – or the place that eyes were usually supposed to be- and shivered in slight horror.

 

Through her eyes, Castiel saw the truth of what the Hag and her ‘shadow’ truly were and it wasn’t simply physical rot.

 

They were made of the rotting of body, mind, and soul.

 

The realization of just what it was that the Shadow had been doing to Dean hit Castiel like a ton of bricks.

 

She had been feeding off of broken parts of his soul, she had sent this living sickness into Dean’s past to find and feed off of the worst parts of Dean’s and Michael’s lives. This creature caused its rot to infect those lowest moments and it fed off of what came after.

 

That’s why the children perished- by the time the shadow was finished with them their soul was so rotted and sick that there wasn’t anything left to salvage.

 

This abomination had been rotting Dean’s soul, the soul that he had put back together, the soul that he raised from perdition and cradled with his own Grace,  the soul that he cherished most in the world, and the soul that belonged to the man that he loved dearly.

 

Anger flooded Castiel.

 

A white hot rage that left him seething and seeing red.

 

Castile laid into the creature, his fist impacting the rotting flesh, splitting it in places causing a black putrid liquid to pour out and splatter onto Castiel with each impact of his fists.

The creature laughed maniacally at each blow, almost as if it were taunting him, pressing him to hit it more.

 

“ _That’s it,_ ” it cackled in a gurgling way, “ _hit me. Destroy me. Kill me, Castiel. Kill me.”_

Castiel paused, his chest heaving from the exertion of his assault on the creature, his mind whirled within a hazy mix of anger and confusion. There was a far off voice inside his head telling him to stop that something wasn’t right about this, that what he was doing was very wrong.

 

“ _Go on,”_ the creature implored, “ _keep it up. Hit me! Break me! Do it, Castiel.”_

“Cas-”

 

Suddenly, that far off voice became louder, this time sounding like he was under water and someone was shouting his name from above.

 

_“Do it! Break me!”_

“Castiel! Get away from her!”

 

The voice was louder, increasing in volume and pitch.

 

_“BREAK ME!”_

 

“Castiel, get away from her!”

 

_“BREAK! ME!”_

“CASTIEL! SNAP OUT OF IT!”

 

The two voice reached a mind-numbing and ear-piercing pitch, causing Castiel to cover his ears and violently shake his head. It was in that moment of painful chaos that the creature made its move, taking advantage of the panic-stricken angel, it managed to throw said angel from the top of it.

 

Castiel didn’t register what had happened until he hit the floor a few feet from the creature- his ears rang painfully with the aftershocks of the voice that had called out to him. It took a few moments for Castiel’s mind to clear the fog from earlier but once it had, his nerve endings were the first things to greet him.

 

Pain.

 

Sharp searing pain, pain that felt like the exposed skin on his body had been lit on fire with Holy Oil.

 

Castiel hissed in pain as he took notice that every piece of exposed skin that the putrid liquid had splattered on burned violently.

 

“Jesus, Cass,” Sam hissed as he pulled the angel to his feet, “what the hell was that.”

 

Castiel swayed on his feet, all he wanted was to get the liquid off and find out what had happened. Another pair of arms were suddenly pulling Castiel along, he found it a bit hard to keep his legs under him but somehow managed it.

 

“Castiel,” Gabriel’s overly worried voice snapped Castiel into focus.

 

He blinked and looked at his brother in confusion, “Did you speak in your angelic voice just now?”

 

Gabriel nodded, “You weren’t listening and I had to stop you from offing that evil shadow bitch. If you kill it you could’ve killed Dean, and on top of that, she was starting to absorb your or something. That nasty black stuff started wrapping around you and you just looked like you were getting… well angrier and more violent.”

 

Castiel nodded, “I was, it was like I was drowning in my anger. I was thinking about what it's doing to Dean and Michael and- and I just started to become so furious with that thing.”

 

Castiel looked down at his hands at the black viscous fluid that covered them, wincing at the fading burning sensation that had emanated from them.

 

“Cass?”

 

“She’s rotting their souls,” Castiel spoke up suddenly, “that’s what this creature does.”

 

“What?”

 

Castiel turned away from Sam and Gabriel, his eye locked on the creature who still laid on the floor on her back. What little features could be made out, showed a sinister grin stretched across the thing’s face, it seemed to be wanting to silently lure Castiel into another bout of rage induced violence.

 

“That’s what’s actually killing her victims,” Castiel explained, “she’s made of rot, not shadows.”

 

A wicked gurgling laugh filled the room, everyone’s eyes locked on the creature.

 

 _“That’s right, pretty angel,”_ she cackled, “ _that’s right. Rotting flesh, rotting souls. Rot, rot, rot. Such a lovely taste, such a lovely, lovely taste. Oh, and Dean, he rots so prettily. Such a tasty rotting thing, rot him to noting, rot him and eat him all.”_

It was only thanks to Gabriel grabbing his shoulder that Castiel did jump back onto the creature again, he could still feel its control over him- playing with his anger and protective nature over Dean and Michael.

 

“Cass, calm down,” Sam warned, “don’t let it play you.”

 

The creature twitched and it was suddenly sitting up.

 

Castiel felt Sam flinch beside him, the creature took notice and giggled in a way that left the hair on the back of Castiel’s neck standing.

 

 

 _“I’m so close to the core of this delicious apple, now,”_ She giggled, “ _so, so close. He’ll rot away soon and I’ll eat him up.”_

“You’ll have no were to go it you do,” Adam spoke up.

 

The creature’s head tilted to the side as it focused on Adam.

 

_“You think so? Why do you think so, little brother?”_

Castiel was stunned momentarily when Dean’s voice passed through the creature’s lips.

“Don’t call me that you freak,” Adam growled, “and don’t you use his voice!”

 

 _“Tell me then,”_ the creature spoke in her own high pitched twisted voice, “ _why do you think so?”_

“Your other form is locked away,” Gabriel answered.

 

_“Locked away? Locked away!”_

“Did I stutter? I locked it away for safe keeping, and I won’t ever let it go unless you let Dean go,” Gabriel explained.

 

The creature stopped, looking down for a second when it looked back up Castiel’s heart sank.

 

The creature was grinning again.

 

 _“Locked my other away. Trying to take away my meal,_ ” it crowed, “ _naughty. So very naughty. Unforgivable. Bad manners. Bad, bad little brats.”_

She didn’t seem frightened with the knowledge that her other self, was locked away somewhere if anything she seemed more annoyed with the fact that they were trying to take away her meal.

 

“Didn’t you hear me? I won’t let her go unless you-”

 

_“I won’t let Dean go, not ever. Never ever. He’s my tasty little meal and you can’t have him.”_

“What’s the point of having your meal if your other half is gone,” Sam asked.

 

The creature cackled, “ _I can free her. I know where she is and I can free her. We are connected, always. Her, me, and Dean. All together now and forever.”_

“She’s fucking bat shit crazy,” Castiel heard Jo mumble.

 

“No kidding,” Adam agreed.

 

_“You can’t have my meal back, he’s too rotten now. Not too much longer and I’m going to gobble him up. Gobble him up. Gobble him up.”_

Castiel shook his head, “No, you’re not taking him! I won’t let you.”

 

“ _Can’t stop me. Can’t stop me. Poor little-fallen Angel, you can’t have my Dean. Such a bad little Angel, can’t save his precious little human, can’t stop the big Angels from making a mess of things, and can’t stop Old Mother Hag. What good are you? Maybe a meal? Maybe a lovely little morsel for Old Mother? Maybe I’ll eat you all up so you can stay with your sweet little Dean? How about that little angel? How about I eat you up?”_

Castiel clenched his fists and bared his teeth, “I’ll stop you. I’ll save Dean and I’ll destroy you.”

 

The Old Mother cackled, “ _Such a temper. Tempers are the sweetest of flavors, they rot so deliciously.”_

They world around them began to falter, shifting and blurring.

 

“We’re moving again,” Sam pointed out.

 

 _“Oh yes, one step closer. Maybe I’ll skip this one, so close now, doesn’t really matter which one I go to anymore. Bye bye, little butterfly,”_ The Old Mother’s shadow giggled manically as she got to her feet with a quick jerk of her body.

 

Castiel’s eyes went wide, “No! We can’t let her get away!”

 

“How can we stop her? Touching her means risking getting absorbed,” Adam pointed out.

 

“Castiel, just wait a second,” Gabriel commanded.

 

Castiel shook his brother’s hand from his shoulder and went running at the creature, she simply stood there with his arms open, just grinning. Castiel wasn’t stupid, he knew it was a trap, but he couldn’t let her get ahead of them and cause more damage.

 

“Cass, stop!”

 

 _“Mm, I’ll tear you to ribbons and eat you piece by piece little Angel,”_ the creature said with a smile as she blinked out of sight.

 

Castiel stopped, he froze in place and looked around wildly trying to find where she’d gone to. He could only hope that she hadn’t jumped to a different time. Had she slipped past him?

 

"Gabriel, where did she-" Castiel was cut off as he heard the whistling of something moving very fast through the air toward him. Castiel's eyes widened as he managed to move out of the way and only caught the tail end of a rather sharp claw. It nicked his cheek, catching him off guard, and sting sharply.

 

He grabbed at his cheek, wincing as he felt warm blood dripping down his cheek, for what Gabriel said about not being able to get hurt he was sure taking a beating.

 

“Cass, look out she’s coming back,” Jo screamed.

 

The thing was indeed doubling back, only, this time, Castiel was able to ready himself, as she got nearer Castiel danced out of the way placing himself behind the creature and directly in front of the large picture windows.

 

 _“Bad. Bad little Angel. Bad. Bad. Bad,”_ the she-beast growled.

 

Castiel glared at the creature, determined not to let her get the better of him again.

 

“I. Won’t. Let. You. Hurt, Dean,” Castiel growled back.

 

The creature sighed in annoyance, “ _Can’t stop me. Not now. Not ever. Soon, you’ll be on my menu too. Yummy little Angel. Yummy. Yummy. Yummy.”_

Castiel was confused, did she really think that she could take him? He’d pummeled her seconds ago and he could do it again. He would just have to be careful not to touch her and not to kill her.

 

_“Now, be a good boy and let dear Old Mother gobble you up.”_

The creature was on the move again, this time, however, it was a head-on collision with Castiel. He wasn’t worried, he was faster, all he had to do was-

 

Panic shot through Castiel as he realized he wasn’t moving.

 

He looked down dumbly at his legs, they weren’t moving, they weren’t listening to him at all. He looked back up at the oncoming creature and realized that he wouldn’t be able to dodge her.

 

 _“My blood works a bit slow,_ ” she cackled, “ _but once it kicks in no one gets to run away.”_

Castiel realized that she’d played him from the start- she’d goaded him into attacking her just so that she could ensnare him into a trap. He was basically a sitting duck, his legs wouldn’t work and once he failed to get his mouth to work he realized that he couldn’t call out for help either.

 

“Cass! Fuck, move me,” Sam yelled.

 

“Castiel!”

 

Castiel could see Gabriel and Sam starting to run to his aid- they wouldn’t make it, he knew they wouldn’t.

 

He backed himself into a corner.

 

_“All mine! Yummy! Yummy!”_

Castiel fought hard to get his legs to work, he managed only a few stumbling steps backward, before she was upon him, but even those few steps seemed to work in his favor. The force of the impact of the creature sent Castiel’s stumbling backward, and this, in turn, caused the creature to be caught off balance.

 

Both parties went stumbling backward, launching them both forcibly through the giant picture window and out into the open space beyond.

 

Castiel could hear the almost defining sound of glass shattering filled Castiel ears, he was pretty sure the others had yelled out for him. He only knew that because he had seen them over the creature’s shoulder before the world and the others disappeared.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, thank you so much for all the comments! Firstly, I would like to apologize to your feels, secondly, I would like to assure everybody that I will be finishing this fanfic. I've broken down and decided that I'll have a schedule posting every Sunday until this is finished, so you will have a guaranteed chapter each Sunday.
> 
> Also, I'll be doing this with many of my other stories starting next Sunday as well, but my focus for this month will be to finish A Side You Never Knew. 
> 
> The reason being is because I have a writing goal board now and juggling my fanfics with my actual stories I'm working on to publish is hard- honestly, I should have done this to start with but I'm dumb sometimes.  
> Anyway sorry, this Chapter was a little short, I had to break it up a bit for my own sanity, but next Sundays will be longer.
> 
> Oh! I almost forgot for those who don't have betas and need editing you really need to go check out Grammarly, it is free and it is awesome. I'm still working on getting used to it but I love it and it has helped me to catch more of my own writing mistakes.
> 
> Alright, well bye Duckies keep the comments coming and I'll see you all next Sunday. I hope you all have a nice week.
> 
> -Insanitywithaprettyface


	16. Chapter 16

                Crashing through a window and falling into an unknown void of darkness with a rotting Hag was a very disorientating experience. One moment you were expecting to hit the ground and have a furious rotting Hag land on top of you with the intent to claw you to pieces and the next… well, none of the previously stated actually physically happens.

 

For most, if you fell out of a window with said rotting tag-a-long, there was an unavoidable splat waiting for you at some point, that didn’t happen for Castiel.

 

                The moment the world disappeared around him, Castiel was caught by a pair of arms that pulled him from the darkness and into a bright blinding light. Right before he was forced to shut his eyes from the blinding light, he watched the Hag plummeted past him- the feeling he felt watching her face twist into rage could only be described as smugness. 

 

                Also, he may have silently hoped that she went splat, but he wouldn’t ever admit that out loud- as Sam would say ‘it wasn’t very angelic of him,’ to wish something like that on another being.

 

                However, to be fair, she was a soul-rotting waste of space that deserved to be ripped apart in ways that would make the worst tortures of the Pit look like child’s play.

 

                He’d possibly spent too much time with the Winchesters.

 

                As Castiel felt his body being pulled back against the warm and very solid body of another, he felt no want to remove himself from the being’s arms or turn and fight. It was as though he knew that he was safe and that there was no reason to fight back.

 

                Those feelings of security and calmness didn’t stop him from flinching, however, when a hand covered his closed eyes and a pair of lips were pressed close to his ear.

 

"I've got you, angel face," a voice whispered into his ear.

 

Castiel's eyes went wide behind the hand covering his eyes, he felt the arm around his middle hold him tighter as he tried to move.

 

“Hold on Cass,” Dean warned, “you’ll probably feel a little jelly-legged if you move too fast and let your eye adjust slowly. This place is like living in a freaking flash grenade.”

 

Castiel nodded gently and leaned back on Dean, letting the man hold him up. Dean’s hold on him was tight, almost like he was afraid that the Angel would disappear if he let him go.

 

"Dean," Castiel gasped.

 

"The one and only," Dean chuckled gently.

 

"But how are you here?"

 

"Well, it would seem that I’m saving your feathered ass again," Dean teased.

 

"I know but-"

 

"I really haven’t got any idea where ‘here’ is,” Dean answered, “one second I’m staring down the pissed off end of a Hag and then there’s this bright light and I’m waking up in this weird ass place.”

 

“What do you mean ‘weird ass’ place?”

 

“Take a look for yourself,” Dean said as he moved his hand slowly from Castiel’s eyes.

 

The angel blinked rapidly at the bright light before his vision slowly became accustomed to the world around him.

 

It was a bright white world of mirrors.

 

The hall of mirrors at a fun house came to mind, each mirror held distorted images by the looks of it if you ventured to far off you would become lost. Dean’s unwillingness to let go suddenly made a little more sense- maybe the he was more worried about Castiel getting lost than he really was about the angel’s legs going out from under him.

 

“What is this place,” Castiel wondered aloud.

 

 Dean snorted snappishly, “Better question would be, what the hell is going on, Cass?"

 

Castiel stood back up straight- with Dean's help- and turned to look at Dean. Castiel was overcome with a sense of joy seeing that the other man was actually there and that he was actually touching him. Dean looked a bit more haggard than normal, the dark marks under his eyes were more prominent, and Castiel could see the barely contained panic hiding just beyond Dean’s tried eyes.

 

"Dean I am here to save you," Castiel explained his tone taking on a soothing sincerity that surprised him.

 

Dean paused for a bit, stunned by Castiel’s tone before his eyes softened- making Castiel’s heart do funny things in his chest.

 

Dean shook his head with a smile that put Castiel more as ease, "Well Mr. Hero, you can't exactly save me if you’re stuck here to. Also, I know from experience that most rescue attempts that start off with the rescuer being saved by the rescuee tend to go south pretty quick."

 

Castiel frowned, "It was an unforeseen setback. I assure you that I am very capable of saving the both of us."

 

Dean chuckled, "Right. Well, since your so gun-ho on being the hero here, then I promise not to step on your toes. Just consider me the not-so- distressed backup."

 

Castiel nodded, "Agreed."

 

Dean’s smile grew wider and Castiel’s heart did that odd fluttering thing once again.

 

“So, what’s the plan, Prince Charming?”

 

Castiel bristled for a moment, not wanting to remove himself from Dean’s hold and turning to take in their surroundings once again.

 

“Cass?”

“We need to find a way out of here,” Castiel finally spoke up.

 

Dean sighed, “Yeah, why didn’t I think of that? Cass, I’ve been trying to find a way out of here for what feels like days. I just keep getting lost and sometimes I might see something in the mirrors.”

 

Castiel turned back to Dean, “What do you see in the mirrors?”

 

Dean looked away from Castiel, “Nothing.”

 

“Dean, this might be important!”

 

“It’s nothing,” Dean snapped.

 

“Dean, I can’t help if you don’t let me,” Castiel insisted, “you need, to be honest with me.”

 

Dean didn’t answer right away, it took Castiel pushing a little longer before Dean broke.

 

“Memories,” Dean answered, “I see my memories. Sometimes I see you, Sammy, Adam, Jo, and Gabriel in those memories. Sometimes, the memories cut off and I can’t see anything and when they come back I see you five again. Sometimes I see that walking rotting version of the Hag and then the mirror goes dark and shatters.”

 

“You can see what’s going?”

 

“Most of it. Like I said, sometimes they cut off and I can only see portions of the memories.”

 

“Dean the Hag’s spell. All of this must be a part of it!”

 

“Cass, fill me it here because I’m flying blind.”

 

“The Hag cast her spell, the one that marks her next victim, on you. You were turned in a four-year-old.”

 

Castiel thought better of telling Dean about Michael, he didn’t like keeping things from Dean but he obviously couldn’t see those parts of the memories for a reason.

 

“You’re kidding! I’m running around out there as a four-year-old?”

 

“Yes, I’ve enjoyed keeping the child version of yourself company. Although, you do seem very persistent on playing pretend and I must admit it is a bit confusing.”

 

“You played pretend with me?”

 

Castiel nodded, “Yes, we played Batman and Robin. You are very insistent on being Batman, I haven’t a problem being Robin though. It was fun once I understood the premise a bit more.”

 

Dean snickered, “I got an almighty angel of the lord to play pretend with me that has got to be the coolest shit I’ve ever heard.”

 

“Dean,” Castiel huffed.

 

“Cass,” Dean taunted back with a smile.

 

Castiel found himself smiling despite the situation, seeing Dean’s smile took the weight off of Castiel’s shoulders long enough for the little angel to catch his breath and calm himself.

 

“We are trying to save you from her,” Castiel went on more somberly than meaning to, “we’ve found a spell to help us save you but its taking time to find the solution to all of this.”

 

“What does the spell do?”

 

Castiel was quiet for a moment before he managed an answer, “It takes us through your past. I believe that it shows us the worst times in your life. Times that I believe the Hag is feeding off of.”

 

Dean pressed his hands to his face and took a deep breath and then promptly punched the nearest mirror.

 

“Dean!”

 

“So everything I saw in those mirrors-”

 

“We saw.”

 

“Cas-”

 

Castiel took Dean’s hand and held it, “Dean, I am sorry. I am sorry for everything that has happened to you. I am sorry that we are invading your past and pulling up memories that hurt you, but I’m not sorry that we are trying to save you.”

 

Dean smiled and looked up at Cas, “When did you get all feely.”

 

Castiel gave Dean a look and Dean gave him a sheepish smile.

 

“Can you bring them here? The others I mean?”

 

Dean turned to the slightly cracked mirror and took a deep breath, “I can try. I didn’t know that I could do that to you until you fell through the window.”

 

“It might have something to do with the glass,” Castiel suggested, “there are shards of glass on the floor now. Maybe it will work?”

 

“Fingers crossed,” Dean sighed as he reached out into the mirror.

 

Castiel watched as the glass surface turned to liquid and Dean’s hands went right through.

 

“It’s working,” Dean said, “just like before with you.”

 

“Hurry and pull them through before the mirror breaks.”

 

The world lit up and suddenly Castiel and Dean were no longer the only ones in the mirror world.

 

“Dean!”

 

Sam and Adam said in union, both brothers rushing their older brother and hugging him close. Dean stumbled at the impact of two grown men rushing him but managed to stay on his feet just fine.

 

"Dean," Sammy spoke up, "the past that you just pulled us from-"

 

"Jericho's death," Dean sighed. "How much did you guys see exactly? The mirror only really lets me see Cas’s fight with the Hag."

 

"All of it," Adam confirmed.

 

Dean winced and took a deep breath, "Are we gonna have to talk about it?"

 

"Dean, you put a gun in your mouth and pulled the trigger," Sam snapped.

 

"That a yes?"

 

"That's a hell yes," Adam corrected.

 

Dean frowned, "You guys-"

 

"We saw you cutting yourself too," Jo whispered.

 

Dean gave the girl a sad smile. "Sorry about that. Not something I wanted you to see."

 

"Dean-" Sam started.

 

"Don't throw the pity parade, please. I'm sort of- well totally fucked up. I think we all get that, but I don't do any of that anymore. I stopped acting like a little emo bitch and just learned how to manage it all. I'm better now. I get what's important.”

 

"What's important Dean?"

 

Dean looked over at his bitch facing brother, didn't he get it?

 

"Keeping you and Adam safe," Dean answered as he looked down at his fists, "and making sure that Lucifer and Michael don't take you two away from me."

 

"Dean-"

 

"Those are the only two reasons that I'm still fighting all of this Sammy," Dean snapped. "You and Adam are the only two reasons I need."

 

Castiel smiled at Dean's answer. It was amazing to see Dean being so dedicated to his role as the eldest brother.

 

"You haven't bumped into anyone else in here, have you?"

 

Dean gave Jo a confused look, "Someone else? No, no one other than you guys and the Hag. Why do you ask? Should I be bumping into someone else up here?"

 

"No," Castiel broke in quickly, "she just wishes to know if the Hag has any other surprises for us here."

 

Sam looked at the angel in surprise; when had Cass learned how to lie? It was a good save though, having Dean bump into Michael or see a memory of Michael probably wouldn’t be for the best.

 

"I don't think so. I mean I haven't seen anyone or anything else here."

 

"Well that's good," Adam sighed.

 

"I guess. So you guys wanna help me take the Hag down?"

 

"Well duh," Adam said as he rolled his eyes, "what else would we be doing playing Doctor Who there your greatest hits?"

 

Dean grinned, "Right, so how do we do it?"

 

"We find the reason why you're the Hag's happy meal," Gabriel answered.

 

Dean sighed, "Right. Of course. So, what do I do?"

 

"You- well you just try not to get chomped on before we figure all of this out," Sam sighed.

 

Dean nodded, "Alright, I can do that. All I have to do is just keep moving away from the parts of this weird ass world that go dark and walking into the mirrors that actually lead to places. She can’t catch me in the dark that way-"

 

The room shook violently for a moment. Dean was on his feet in an instant. He rushed to one of the mirrors and put both hands on it as he took a deep breath.

 

“No, it’s him again,” Dean hissed.

 

“Him who?”

 

The fear in Dean’s voice shook Castiel to his core.

 

"Panic Room! The panic room!"

 

The room spun dangerously, shifting and merging, ripping and tearing, until they stood in the center of Bobby's panic room. Dean was standing in front of a red curtain, his body shaking.

 

"Dean?"

 

Dean stumbled backwards, away from the curtain, right into Castiel's arms. Cass held him up as his legs gave out. Castiel looked down at Dean in concern. Dean's face was pale and he looked terrified.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Can't look into that mirror," Dean whispered, "I can’t look at him."

 

"Who keeps tapping, Dean," Castiel asked.

 

Dean clutched tightly at Castiel's arms, he didn't pull away.

 

"He keeps tapping," Dean whispered, "he-he can't pull away that curtain."

 

"Dean-"

 

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, show me my pretty little-broken doll"

 

"Alastair," Dean whispered.

 

"Dean, what's on the other side of that curtain?"

 

Dean's grip on Castiel's arms tightened, "You can't let that curtain fall. I-I can't look into that mirror."

 

"Hell," Sam sighed, "that's what's on the other side. Isn't it Dean?"

 

Dean nodded, "Yeah."

 

The room trembled, the lights flickered and Dean was moving again. He was looking around the room wildly, searching for something.

 

Castiel watched in concern, not knowing what to do.

 

"Dude what are you doing?"

 

"Adam, there's this thing, it's this weird looking symbol thing. It's important, she hates seeing it."

 

"What? What are you talking about Dean?"

 

"This symbol- this weird looking wavy mark thing- Mom drew it."

 

"What? Wait, mom?"

 

Dean kicked the bed to the side and rubbed at his face in frustration.

 

"I was looking into one of the mirrors- I- Mom was there and she was talking to dad. They were just talking about nothing- we were playing on the old blue picnic blanket."

 

Dean stopped, he just froze and turned around. He he leaned back against the wall and covered his eyes. He took a deep breath and pressed his hands against his closed eyes.

 

"You were wearing that weird little blue footie thing mom liked putting you in all the time. We were playing with finger paints; you had it all over you. Dude you looked like a friggin rainbow threw up on you. Then suddenly there was the Hag up in the mirror right in front of me. I was terrified and then out of nowhere there was mom was right there beside me. She smiled at me and then dipped her finger in the blue paint. She looked up at the Hag as she took my hand."

 

Dean moved his hands and looked over at Castiel.

 

"Dean?"

 

"She took my hand and painted a- it looked like an angel on the glass. This weird looking ancient symbol angel. She said, 'Hold tight, he'll pull you out of this. He'll always pull you out of the flames, even this time. His hand will always be there for you to grab.' I didn't get it at first, I just thought that she was talking about the symbol."

 

Dean rushed over to Castiel and grabbed his hand.

 

"Dean, I am confused. What does my hand have to do with any of this?"

 

Dean held onto Castiel's hand and pulled him toward one of the walls. He he pressed the angel's hand to the wall and the trembling stopped, so did the tapping on the covered glass.

 

"Okay, what just happened?"

 

Dean turned back to Jo, "Castiel just gave me some peace of mind. She can't get in now."

 

"The angels don't have any power in here."

 

Dean shrugged, "Doesn't matter. The touch of an angel, it'll kill her."

 

"But I fought her already Dean. I have touched her-"

 

Dean shook his head, "This is different."

 

"How?"

 

Dean blushed and cleared his throat. "It has to be out of...um...out of love. The touch of an angel portecting someone they...um...they love. That's why not many Hags actually get killed-because, well, not many...um...not many angels actually love humans so-"

 

"We do love humans," Castiel broke in, "they are the children of our father. He wishes that we love them and we do his will-"

 

"No, not-not that kind of love Cass," Dean stuttered.

 

"Then what kind of love do you mean?"

 

Dean's face turned two more shades of red, making Gabriel burst into laughter.

 

"Gabe?"

 

"I can't believe Cass is the one person who can make Dean Winchester blush like a school girl," Gabriel cackled.

 

Sam shook his head and slugged Gabriel in the arm, "Don't be an ass."

 

Castiel looked back at Dean, with that kicked puppy look that left Dean's heart strings all tangled. Dean sighed and looked over at Jo, giving her a please help look. Jo shook her head and silently wondered why it was so hard for guys to sharing their feelings.

 

"Cass he means love as in...um...alright, Romeo and Juliet minus the dying part- hopefully," Jo explained.

 

Castiel's face went pink and his eyes widened, "Oh."

 

Gabriel's laughter only became louder and Dean's discomfort became that much worse.

 

"Cass, you um don't have to-"

 

"What do I have to do Dean?"

 

Dean looked down, refusing to meet Cass's eyes.

 

Castiel's hand gently lifted Dean's face back up. "Dean, please do not look away. I-I do not like the reasons that you do that. The doubt in your soul disturbs me."

 

Dean looked up but pulled back from Cass's touch. He shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. "Right, whatever. Um- okay we have to find the thing that links the victim to the evil she bitch's demented mind-stomach thing, once we find that we'll be sent back to the outside world. Once out there I'm back to mini-me status but down side the Hag will be there with us. She sort of gets to travel directly into the panic room. Anyway she'll be there and she'll try to um eat me- disturbing as hell- and when she tries Castiel has to show his grace to me not the Hag. He-um has to be in contact with me in some way."

 

Castiel shook his head, "Dean, your eyes will be burnt out of your skull. I cannot do that. Is there no other way?"

 

Dean shook his head, "Nope. It's that or bust. Hey, eyes are optional, killing this baby eating bitch isn't. She's gotta go."

 

"I will not harm you, Dean," Castiel protested.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Don't be such a pansy. I'm sure Gabriel can- maybe- fix the eye-melting issue. Right?"

 

"Maybe. I'm not entirely sure I can fix grace induced melted eyes," Gabriel admitted.

 

Dean frowned, "Alright, not as assuring as I would've liked but, moving on. We-we have to-" Dean stopped and looked back at the covered mirror, his hand unconsciously gripping at his wrist.

 

Sam watched as his brother's hand clenched around his wrist tightly. Sam quickly walked over and took a hold of Dean's hand and pulled it away from his wrist. "No, you aren't doing that," Sammy whispered, "I didn't see it before but I see it now and no more."

 

Dean frowned, "I didn't mean for- I'm sorry Sammy. I-"

 

"Dean, we can talk about this after we save your ass."

 

Dean nodded, "Yeah. Right, we're going to have to go through that mirror. She's not in there but if we want to end all this we need to lure her to us and I know she'll come running as soon as that fabric is pulled away."

 

"Dean, can you handle going in there?"

 

Dean shrugged, "Nope, but with no other option I'll just have to grin and bear it."

 

Castiel took Dean's hand and quietly looked at him.

 

"Um, Cass?"

 

"I will hold your hand. Your mother said that this was important so I won't let go," Castiel stated simply.

 

Dean looked away but Castiel caught the smile on his hunter's lips. Yes, Dean was his hunter.

 

"Right, okay let's go."

 

Dean pulled Castiel along, ignoring the smirks and grins on the others' faces. Dean took a deep breath as his hand rested on the red fabric.

 

"Come on Deano," Alastair's voice chuckled from the other side of the covered mirror.

 

Dean looked back at Castiel as his hand gripped the fabric covering the mirror tightly.

 

"Dean, it will be okay," Castiel assured.

 

"No it won't be," Dean sighed, "it'll be worse. Just make sure to stay together."

 

Dean closed his eyes tightly as he pulled the red curtain from the mirror; were met with screams, voices, a wave of heat, and then nothing but darkness.

 

Castiel heard a gasp from Dean as he felt the hand in his hand turn to ice.

 

"Dean!"

 

Castiel couldn't see anything in front of him. He closed his eyes and then opened them only to be met by the blinding light of day. Castiel winced and covered his eyes, then opened them. He looked around and found himself standing in the middle of nowhere. The sun was bright and hot. Castiel noticed that the landscape was desert-like and flat.

 

"Dean, where are-"

 

Castiel looked over only to find that Dean was gone.

 

"Dean? Dean!"

 

"Castiel where did he go?"

 

Castiel looked over at Sam then to Adam, "I do not know. I- he was just here. I had his hand."

 

"I'm sure he's okay Cass," Jo assured.

 

"I told him I wouldn't let go," Castiel whispered.

 

"Cass? I'm sure he'll be okay Cass," Jo comforted, "it is Dean after all."

 

"I know but Jo-"

 

Jo smiled at the angel, "We'll find him and you'll see, he'll be fine."

 

"Alright."

 

Jo patted the angel's shoulder and looked over at Adam.

 

The youngest Winchester smiled at her. Yeah, he could easily see why he was falling for her; Jo was amazing.

 

"You got everything?"

 

Adam turned as he heard his oldest brother's voice. He could see Dean standing with Sam at the open doors of a bus. Bags were being loaded and people were getting ready to board. Dean had his hands in his pockets and his head was down, a pair of dark sunglasses hid his eyes from the harsh sunlight. Sam stood in front of him, looking much younger with a backpack and a duffle bag hanging from his shoulder. Sam was looking at his shoes, it seemed like they were the most important thing in the world right then.

 

"God no, not this memory," Sam whispered.

 

"What's this one about?"

 

Sam frowned and put his face in his hand for a moment before taking a deep breath. "This is when I left for college. Dean drove me here even after Dad said he wouldn't. Dean saw me off," Sam explained.

 

Adam frowned, "Oh. Damn, this has gotta suck pretty hard to see Dean's side of it."

 

Sam nodded, "It does. Dean didn't ask me not to go once, he just made sure I had it all together and told me to call if I needed anything. I acted like an ass."

 

"Yeah Dean, I got everything," Sam answered.

 

Dean nodded, "Good. You-um- did you make sure to pack holy water? I mean just incase you need it. I mean you never know-"

 

"Yeah Dean I got that," Sam snapped, "I've got all that crap. I wouldn't need it though."

 

Dean just shrugged, "Don't be such a bitch. I just don't want you to end up shit creek without a few extra paddles."

 

Sam rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever."

 

Dean hadn't looked up once yet, "Yeah, right. So good luck Sammy."

 

"It's Sam," Sam sighed.

 

"Right whatever. Just be careful and if you need anything- call me Sammy."

 

"Right sure, I'll keep that in mind," Sam sighed as he turned to get on the bus.

 

Dean's hand shot out and grabbed the taller boy's arm, Sam stopped and went to whirl on his brother but stopped as Dean spoke.

 

"Sammy, I mean it you big sissy, if you need anything you call me. If I find out you've gotten into any kind of trouble or anything stupid just because you didn't want to pick up that damn phone I will find you and kick your ass. So you are gonna be careful and if you need me you are going to call me. You got me Samuel Jonathan Winchester, because I'm not dad and I will not hesitate to kick your ass. So you say it right now, you will be careful and you will call me if any shit goes down," Dean growled.

 

Sam sighed, but the grin was there, "Alright. I'll be careful Dean and if something happens and I need help you'll be the first person I call. Don't worry, it's just college."

 

Dean nodded, still looking up at Sam. He let his brother's arm go and stuffed his hand back into his pocket.

 

"Good. Alright. So- um have fun? Um and just- well good luck Sammy."

 

Sam smiled, "Thanks Dean. You're awesome you know."

 

"Yeah, yeah enough chick flick shit. Just get on your bus already."

 

"Jerk," Sam chuckled.

 

"Bitch," Dean shot back with a faint smirk.

 

Sam climbed into the bus, waving at Dean as the doors closed. Dean looked up for a moment and waved. He stepped back as the bus drove off, watching it until he couldn't see it anymore then quietly walked back to the Impala. He climbed in and sat there for a long time in silent stillness. Finally, he moved. Dean pulled down his visor and looked up. There were three old photos starring down at him. One was of the Winchester family: Mary in the picture silently smiled back, holding a chubby little baby Sam in her arms with a four-year-old version of Dean hanging on to her leg, and a happy looking John Winchester with a hand on the four-year-old Dean's head and an arm around Mary's shoulders. One was of Sam, Bobby, John, and Dean. The last one was of Jericho and Dean: Jericho had his arms wrapped around Dean and his chin resting on his shoulder with one of his face splitting grins.

 

"So Sammy is off to college you guys," Dean chuckled weakly, "bitter sweet as hell. Mom, he got into one of the best colleges in the States, you'd have flipped your top over that; of course you'd probably have kicked dad's ass if you'd seen how he acted- Sammy's too for that matter. I'm so proud of him. Hey Jericho, is it alright for me to feel sort of- well sad? I mean he's so far away now, I can't peek in on him at night and make sure he's alright anymore. I know, it's not good to be all overprotective with him, he's gotta grow up on his own but- but its Sammy. Little Sammy, who used to think that I was frigg'in Batman, now he's all practical and shit. I don't like it."

 

Dean sighed and laid his forehead against the steering wheel.

 

"I know I'm being a pansy about all of this but- damn it he's just a kid. He needs his family. What if he forgets how to use the washing machine again or something?"

 

Dean frowned and leaned back in his seat, "Right that only happened twice maybe he's got the basics down now. No colors with whites and- you know what, I'm not gonna worry myself sick over this. Sammy will be fine and really who am I kidding, we both know he'll have a week to himself before I'm up there checking up on him."

 

Dean started the car and flipped the visor back up, as he backed out of the parking lot he paused and looked in the direction his brother had went. He took a deep breath and forced himself to turn and head back toward the motel. Dean's grip on the steering wheel had his knuckles turning white, his entire body was tense and it didn't change until he got back to the motel. He parked and looked around, finding that his dad's truck wasn't there.

 

"Must be at the bar already," Dean sighed, "Mom, I swear I got left with two of the world's biggest idiots."

 

Dean sighed as he made his way to the room, he pulled out the keys and opened the door. He was greeted by and an empty dingy motel room. Dean tossed his shades on the small table by the window, he locked the door and checked all the salt lines even as exhaustion hit him hard. Dean rubbed at his face as he flopped down onto his bed, as he went to take off his boots he noticed a piece of paper laying on the table. Dean got up and walked over to it; he picked the note up and read it.

 

Dean,

 

I got a call, there's a hunt a few states over. I went ahead. We can meet up in a month at Jimmy's cabin. Be careful and call if you need anything.

 

-Dad

 

Dean crumpled the note up and glared down at it, he tossed it back onto the table and fell back onto his bed.

 

"Jack ass," Dean sighed, "you would run off once Sammy left. You both would just decide to runoff at the same time. Leave Dean behind, that's just how it works these days, huh. Well fine. Whatever."

 

Dean kicked off his boots and closed his eyes, "Who was I kidding to think this would be any different?"

 

Dean took a deep breath and kept his eyes shut, he let his body relax.

 

"I must but completely crazy," Dean sighed, "I mean-it can't be normal to talk to yourself like this and expect some kind of answer. This isn't praying is it? I mean because I don't do that crap, Sammy does but- well I don't. Let's be honest, why would I? I don't really believe in anything past here, so-so it would just be a waste. Right?"

 

Dean lifted one arm and reached for the water stained ceiling, he stretched his fingers outwards.

 

"Why would I waste my breath? No one is up there watching out for me- for some reason I-I just can't see anyone doing that."

 

Dean let his arms fall back to the bed, he looked away from the ceiling and sighed.

 

Dean closed his eyes and sighed, "Maybe it’s time to go get drunk. Yup, definitely liver killing time."

 

Dean didn't move to get up though, instead he rolled over and reached under his bed and grabbed the bottle of whiskey.

 

"Bye-bye liver," Dean sighed.

 

The room before them seemed to explode, the images before them shattered and shifted. They could hear voices rushing past them and see blurred images.

 

"You have to help me find dad Sammy-"

 

"-He went hunting and he hasn't been back-"

 

"-I'm sorry Sammy, I-I didn't know that she was in any danger-"

 

"I'll trade my soul for his- just give Sammy back-"

 

The world shifted back into place. Heat and rotting flesh assaulted their senses.

 

The world was a splatter of reds and blacks.

 

Mounds of bloodied pink flesh wriggled and pulsed everywhere in some places they stood high at mountains, they hung from the walls, seemed to sprout from the ground, and they hung from hooked chains from the sky. There were seemingly endless rivers of blood and in places where bodies hung down it almost seemed to rain down blood.

 

Jo pressed her face into Adam's shoulder as the horrors surrounded them. Sam stumbled back against Gabriel. Castiel shook his head, he looked around. He had been here once, he had saved his righteous man.

 

"Gabriel-this- this is Hell?"

 

Gabriel held Sam's shoulders with a comforting grip.

 

"Yeah, but just one small portion," Gabriel answered.

 

"This is where Dean was held," Castiel whispered, "when they broke him. He was kept here. Alastair wanted him to be trained."

 

Inhuman screams, insane ramblings, and growls filled the air, but one rang out among the rest. Castiel whirled around then rushed in the direction, the others were on his heels. Castiel felt his chest tighten in pain as he skidded to a stop, the sight before him froze him to the spot.

 

"Dean, no," Castiel whispered.

 

There stood Dean, covered in blood, open wounds, and in nothing but a shredded filthy pair of jeans. Dean's hands and arms were drenched in blood, in one hand he held a pair of some twisted version of pliers and in the other was the severed arm of the woman hanging on the rack screaming in agony. Dean had a twisted grin on his face, he was examining the twitching arm he held. He put one of the moving fingers between the pliers and looked back to his victim.

 

"So weird isn't it," Dean croaked- his voice sounded strained as he spoke, "I mean I just tore your arm off. You shouldn't feel any of this at all but you do."

 

Dean's grip on the pliers tightened and the woman screamed in agony.

 

Dean watched then as the finger was severed from the hand, it fell to the burning ground only to be burned away. The woman broke into sobs and pleas, Dean simply frowned.

 

"You're not getting the simple astounding impossibilities behind this. How upsetting! Such a disappointment."

 

"Dean quit pouting," sighed Alastair as he appeared behind Dean, "it's so disgustingly human. I simply despise it."

 

Dean's face turned blank as Alastair's long pale arms wrapped around him tightly and pulled him back against him. Alastair's form here was anything but human. He was taller than Sam by feet, his body was naked and pale ashy white, his top half was human-like his bottom half goat-like. He had huge horns that twist like those of a ram's on his head and at the end of his freakishly long arms were clawed monstrous hands.

 

As he spoke his rows of shark-like teeth were visible.

 

He was a horrifying sight and seeing the way he held Dean made Castiel furious.

 

"I don't care what you don't like," Dean sighed, “I bored with this one. Her screeching and sobbing isn’t fun anymore.”

 

"Oh my torturous little pupil, watch that tongue before I tear it out and make you eat it again. Remember that? Such a pleasant time we had," Alastair hissed into his ear.

 

Dean was all but limp in the demon's arms, his eyes were empty- nothing there.

 

"Fuck you," Dean grumbled.

 

"Aw, such a little tease you are," Alastair cooed.

 

Alastair spun Dean around and jerked his chin up, digging his claws into the man's face.

 

Dean's eyes locked with those of the monsters and Alastair's grin widened.

 

"Such a pretty little pupil. You are my favorite, but you already knew that. The only one who understands the pleasure that comes with all of this- lovely torture. You will be quite the little demon someday, my little love. I can't wait till those pretty green eyes turn black. Mm- it will be so pleasing."

 

Dean frowned and looked away, Alastair didn't seem to like that.

 

"Deano, don't look away from me," Alastair growled.

 

Dean's face scrunched up and in a flash, Dean slammed the pliers that he held into Alastair's neck. The demon snarled out in anger and threw Dean to the side. Dean's body went flying and slammed painfully into a wall of jagged bones. Dean cried out in pain as the bones stabbed into his flesh.

 

Alastair glared at the human as he pulled the pliers from his neck and tossed them to the side. Dean pulled his body from the bones yanking and pulling bones that pierced his skin out.

 

"You bad little boy," Alastair hissed, "I was sure that we had beaten all those rebellious urges out of you. Apparently you still need a few lessons."

 

Dean glared at the demon but remained silent even as the monster made his way over to him and stood over him.

 

"Maybe the little whore just needs to learn his place again," Alastair sneered as he gripped Dean’s hair and yanked his head back, "yes that's it. I think the pupil wants another nice hard fucking by his teacher."

 

Dean only glared back, his eyes filled with hate.

 

Alastair only grinned back.

 

Suddenly the darkness was filled with light, Dean looked passed Alastair.

 

"Cover your eyes! Do it now," Gabriel shouted out.

 

Castiel turned away from Dean and saw the source of the light. It was his old Garrison, the light was him coming to save Dean. To grip him tight and pull him from hell.

 

Castiel turned back to Dean and watched as his righteous man's eyes widened.

 

"It's so bright," Dean whispered, "so beautiful.”

 

The light relieved the Hag in that moment, Castiel saw her there.

 

The Hag was clinging tightly, her hands and arms were inside Dean's chest. Castiel knew that it was Dean's heart that the creature clung to. The thing was held fast to Dean's heart.

 

Castiel frowned, "I think I understand now. Gabriel I know what the link is now."

 

"What? Castiel what are you-"

 

"No! You won't take what is mine!"

 

Alastair stood defiant against the light of Castiel's grace. The angel moved forward flexing his wings.

 

"I have come to do my father's will and his will is that this man shall not linger here in the grips of your filth," Castiel stated.

 

Alastair roared in anger and charged, only to be swatted away by Castiel as though he was nothing more than a bug. The angel walked forward and stood before Dean. The man looked up at him even as his body shrank away in pain- his eyes unyielding to the sight of Castiel’s grace.

 

"Who-"

 

"I have come to save you."

 

"Why?"

 

"You need saving. I have come to do just that."

 

Dean gave a weak smile, "I always need saving."

 

Dean looked down, his shoulders sagged, "Why would someone start saving me now?"

 

Castiel reached out and took hold of Dean's shoulder, Dean gasped out in pain.

 

"Because you are a righteous man," Castiel answered, "a righteous man who deserves to be saved."

 

Dean looked up, "Do I really?"

 

Castiel nodded, "Yes."

 

The memory broke away, the darkness shifted around them until they found themselves back in the panic room. Dean was slumped on the floor with the Hag standing over him.

 

"Dean! Get away from him, you evil bitch!"

 

"Adam stay where you are," Castiel commanded.

 

"Not a chance," the Hag sneered," I've got him now. I've found the center. The thing that I need from him and you can't stop me."

 

Castiel shook his head, "I can. I know what it is that you want. I know what the link is now. I know what ties them all together."

 

The Hag glared at the angel, "That doesn't matter now."

 

"Yes it does," Castiel assured, "it's the entire key to all of this. The things that you need from each victim is their depression, their lost loves, and their self-sacrifice. But most of all it is their happiness. You made it seem like it was the negative feelings that you feed from but it isn't, you were devouring his happiness. You look for those who have been through so much horror, those who have almost taken their lives, and those who feel numb, because the moments of happiness in their lives are so strong."

 

The Hag looked horrified, she actually stumbled back a few steps.

 

"That's why you revert them to children," Sam spoke up suddenly, "you drain any happiness from them in that stage. It's easier on you because they aren't as guarded as they are when they are adults. That's it isn't it?"

 

Castiel glared at the monster, "You made him think that it was the bad memories that you were after but really you were simply making him lead you to all his best memories. Even in the worst of the memories that we saw there was happiness. We were just caught off guard by the things we never knew."

 

"With his memories with Jericho, there was a lot of bad things but- but each time Dean was with Jericho or Sam he was happy, even when he was hurting seeing them made him happy," Adam pointed out.

 

"Same with Michael," Gabriel whispered, "with him, even though the situation was bad he was happy because Cass was there or he was with his brothers."

 

"Even when Sam left, Dean was happy," Jo whispered looking over at Sam, "because his baby brother was off doing something he wanted. And in Hell- well it was horrible but that was where he first met you Cass."

 

Castiel clenched his fists and was moving before he could stop himself, he had the Hag by her throat and slammed her to the wall.

 

"I'm going to enjoy melting your ass," Castiel growled.

 

The world around them shattered, the feeling of being pushed through thick liquid surrounded them and then they found themselves standing in the middle of the panic room.

 

"Jo!"

 

"Mom!"

 

They were back in the outside world.

 

Castiel was taken by surprise as the Hag sent him backwards with a powerful force.

 

Castiel landed on his back next to a slumped pair of wings.

 

He looked over to find Michael slumped against the wall holding a trembling four-year-old Dean in his arms.

 

"Michael? Dean?"

 

Dean looked over at Castiel with tears in his eyes.

 

"Cass, I'm cold," Dean whimpered weakly, "Mikie doesn't feel good either."

 

"Dean, it will be okay," Castiel promised, "I will keep you safe."

 

Dean's eyes looked heavy, Cass could tell the boy wasn't doing well.

 

"Cass, it hurts," Dean whimpered.

 

"Yeah, baby birdie, the kid isn't lying. Everything is hurting pretty badly right now," Michael croaked.

 

"Michael-"

 

"Please hurry up and make the bad lady go away," Dean whimpered.

 

"I will, I swear."

 

"Hop to it baby birdie," Michael chuckled weakly.

 

Castiel quickly got to his feet and appeared behind the Hag, he shoved her hard in the direction of Dean and Michael.

 

"Cass what the hell are you doing!"

 

Castiel glanced over at a frantic Sam.

 

"Saving Dean," Cass answered.

 

The Hag fell to her knees in front of Dean and Michael, Castiel reappeared in front of her and held her down with his power.

 

"What are you doing you winged freak! Let me go," the Hag screeched.

 

Castiel turned to Dean and lifted the boy's head up.

 

"Dean, look at me," Castiel whispered.

 

Dean opened his eyes and looked up at Cas.

 

"Cas?"

 

"I'm going to save you Dean," Castiel whispered just so Dean and Michael could hear, "because I love you and you deserve to be saved. You said my wings were beautiful Dean. You can see them, you can see my grace spilling from my body. It's because of Michael, that you can see me as I am, because you are Dean but you are also Michael. You are human but you are also made from grace."

 

Castiel kept his eyes locked with Dean as he released his grace.

 

"Don’t look away from me Dean. Everyone else cover your eyes," Castiel warned.

 

Light filled the room, warmth and love caressed Dean and Michael as Castiel's hand covered Dean's shoulder. Castiel leaned down and kissed Dean's forehead as his wings brushed against Michael's. When Castiel pulled back he watched Dean's eyes roll back in his head, black smoke poured out and was destroyed by his grace.

 

Castiel glanced over his shoulder as he heard the Hag's screams of pain. He watched as her body began to turn to ashes her darkness burnt away until nothing was left. Castiel turned back to Dean and Michael, he slowly pulled his grace back into his vessel.

 

Michael looked up at him and smiled.

 

"Way to go baby bird."

 

"Are you both alright?"

 

Michael wrapped his arms around Dean and held him tight, he felt himself being pulled back. He felt his soul being stitched back together. Michael rested his chin on Dean's shoulder and took a calming breath, he was terrified. He almost didn't want to go away again.

 

"Dean? Cass is he okay?"

 

Michael looked over to see Sam and Adam watching their brother in concern, he felt guilt clench tightly in his gut. He knew they needed Dean. 

He knew a lot of people needed Dean. 

There was no other option.

 

"He'll be okay. Cass, Dean will be stuck like this till tomorrow. He'll go back to the regular him, but he won't remember me. I'll just be some fuzzy memory of an imaginary friend he had a long time ago. You can't let him know about me."

 

"Michael-"

 

"Keep him safe. You have to swear it and mean it," Michael whispered as he gently kissed the boy's cheek, "he needs someone to save him sometimes and you're really good at that."

 

Castiel nodded, "I will always be there to save him."

 

Michael smiled, "Good to hear it. Bye baby bird, keep Gabby out of trouble and don't get your ass killed."

 

Michael gave a weak smile as light erupted around him and Dean. Castiel watched as Michael's wings became Dean's and then as the light disappeared into the passed out boy before him. Castiel reached out and picked Dean up, he held him close and turned around to the others.

 

"Dean will be okay. The Hag is dead and Michael has- reconnected their soul. Dean will be back to normal by tomorrow."

 

"So yeah, pretty much open and closed," Gabriel joked, "just another day in the life of the Winchesters. So who's up for ice cream? Sam? Adam?"

 

Castiel actually rolled his eyes at his brother's attempt to lighten the mood.

 

"Cas, how did your grace not burn out his eyes? I thought that-"

 

"Michael was an angel, he had grace. I remember Dean saying that he could see wings, that is a portion of our grace, if he can see that without having his eyes burnt out of his head then he would be ok. When I saw Michael's wings I remember Dean talking about that."

 

Castiel calmly walked over to Sam and held Dean out to him, Sam took his sleeping brother and held him close.

 

"Cas?"

 

"I believe that I may pass out now," Castiel warned.

 

Sam's eyes went wide as Castiel's body went limp, Adam and Gabriel were quick to catch the falling angel.

 

"Cas!"

 

Sam was quick to hand Dean over to Ellen and rush over to help with Castiel.

 

"Dude! Mind explaining why the almighty angel just fell out? Christ, Castiel is heavy."

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes at the kid, "He's a falling angel, you know cast out of Heaven? Remember him joining team free will and all that? Yeah, flashing his grace when he's actually losing it, isn't too easy on him. He tired himself out."

 

Sam put his hand to Castiel's forehead, "He's burning up."

 

"He'll be fine," Gabriel assured, "poor kid just needs a nice rest."

 

"Guess its nappy time for baby angel and baby Dean," Jo chuckled.

 

Adam and Gabriel smirked, Sam shook his head.

 

"Guess so," Sam agreed.

 

"Idgits," Bobby sighed, "get those two up to bed and then you four can explain what the hell just happened."

 

Adam frowned, "Sure Bobby, Sammy can't wait to explain all this shit. Because God knows I'm just as lost as you and I was right in the middle of all of it."

 

"You're hopeless sometimes Adam," Jo sighed.

 

Adam shrugged, "Hey I get some slack being the new guy and all."

 

Bobby walked over and smacked Adam over the back of the head affectionately, Adam smirked.

 

"Since Sam is gonna do the explaining you get to help with the cleanup," Bobby said with a smirk.

 

Adam frowned, "Wow, the slack sounds like a lot more work than I thought."

 

"Thems the breaks kid," Gabriel sighed, "I'm gonna take sleeping beauty here upstairs. Wanna lift, Ellen?"

 

"Yeah, small fry here is out for the count," Ellen sighed, "be right back. No one start explaining till I get back."

 

"You got it," Adam sighed.

 

"Yes ma'am," Sam answered.

 

Gabriel and Ellen disappeared leaving the room in a silence. Sam looked over at Bobby and frowned.

 

"Sam?"

 

"We saw Jericho in his memories Bobby," Sam sighed.

 

Bobby looked down, his body visually sagged at hearing that.

 

"You knew about them didn't you," Sam sighed.

 

"What?"

 

"About Jericho and Dean," Sam snapped looking up at Bobby, "you knew about them being together and you knew about Jericho's deal. That's why you've always known so much about demon deals."

 

Bobby nodded, "Yeah. Jericho made a deal. The kid didn't have a nice life, Sam, it-it was a lot worse off than most hunters' kids. When he made the deal he was just a kid, it was before he came to live with me. He made the deal and was told to look for a Winchester, the demon bitch told him that's where he'd find his happiness. When he found Dean, he knew and that was all she wrote. I told him that he should've told Dean, he waited till it was too late and- hell Sam it went to shit when the truth came out."

 

Sam nodded, "I know, we saw that."

 

"It was worse from his point of view," Adam whispered.

 

"I can believe that," Bobby sighed, "our boy's pretty bad off huh."

 

"Yeah," Jo answered, "I might not know Dean as well as you guys but- I think he needs help."

 

"That's what Castiel is here for," Sam said as he ran a hand through his hair, "he's here to help him out. We're gonna have to let him do that for now. Dean won't let us help, but he'll let Cas. I mean Dean was in the pit and the only person he reached out his hand to was Cas. He let him pull him out of the pit just like he let Jericho pull him out of trouble back when we were kids."

 

"You make sure to repeat that for my mom," Jo sighed, "She'll need to know so she doesn't go into mother kick-ass mode on Dean."

 

Sam nodded, "Yeah, I'll make sure to do that."

 

"You think- you think Dean will be okay? I mean- Sammy, I'm worried about him. He- he puts himself through a lot for us," Adam sighed.

 

Sam nodded, "I am too, but I think that Cass might be able to help a little more than we can."

 

(~**~)*(~**~)~(~**~)~(~**~)

 

Dean groaned as he started to wake up, his head felt like hell. He felt like crap. Dean rolled over only to have a set of arms tighten around his waist and pull him back against a warm body. Dean usually would've panicked in a situation like this, where he had no memory of any one night stands or why his head hurt, but he felt safe.

 

The body behind him made him feel safe. Dean's body relaxed a bit but he still felt rather- concerned.

 

He opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder, only to find Castiel laying there (staring) at him. Dean's eyes locked with his and it all came back, the memories. Castiel and the others had been in his head, the Hag, Castiel being the only one to save him.

 

Holding his hand.

 

Dean blushed under Castiel's stare, he didn't look away though.

 

"Morning," Dean whispered.

 

"Good morning, I am glad that you are back to- you," Castiel whispered back.

 

Dean chuckled, "You not like kids?"

 

"Yes, I like them just fine, but I like you better," Castiel answered.

 

Dean's blush darkened, "Oh, um thank you."

 

"Do you feel alright?"

 

"Um, my head hurts a little is all. I guess we got the Hag?"

 

"Yes, I -um- fried her ass," Castiel answered with a bit of embarrassment.

 

Dean laughed and grinned at the uncomfortable looking angel.

 

"Oh you did? Well best news I've heard all day."

 

Castiel smiled, "Good."

 

Castiel gently raised one of his hands and pressed it to Dean's forehead, his headache went away. Dean smiled as Castiel brushed his fingers through his hair.

 

"Better?"

 

"Much, thanks."

 

Castiel nodded, "What do you remember?"

 

"Being trapped in a mirror hell, seeing you guys in my memories, telling you what my mom said, holding your hand, and then- then nothing. What happened?"

 

"She knocked you out," Castiel answered, "I figured everything out and we came back and then-"

 

"You fried her ass," Dean chuckled.

 

"Yes, basically."

 

Dean nodded, Castiel pulled him closer and Dean's breath caught in his throat.

 

Castiel pressed his forehead to Dean's and looked deep into his eyes.

 

"Dean, I do love you," Castiel whispered.

 

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I-I know, if you didn't you couldn't have saved me."

 

"Dean-"

 

"I don't know if- I can do the whole love thing Cass. I-I can't- um I don't believe love is-"

                                          

                                           Dean stopped himself and sighed Castiel quietly waited.

 

"Cas, I don't think I can love. I mean, we have so much crap going on right now. You're falling from

Grace. You've lost everything because you followed me. Why would you love me?"

 

Castiel leaned forward and kissed Dean then pulled back, "Dean, I followed you because I wanted to protect you and because I believed in you. I haven't lost anything, I've gained you. I love because you are perfect, you are brave, you fight even when all odds are against you, you protect those you love even at the risk of your own life, and you- you are amazing. You have so many qualities that I love, that I could not live without. Dean, I love you because you are amazing and you are mine."

 

Dean smiled, "I'm yours?"

 

"Yes," Castiel deadpanned.

 

Dean laughed, "Possessive little birdie aren't you."

 

Castiel paused for a moment as he heard those words come from Dean's lips. It couldn't be-

 

"Dean? Little birdie?"

 

Dean blushed, "What? It just sort of popped out, sorry. You like angel face more?"

 

Castiel smiled. "No it's just... I used to know someone who would always call me that."

                                                          

                                                           "Oh, do you not want me to call you that?"

 

"No its fine. I don't mind Dean. I like hearing it from your lips."

 

"Alright then. So, I'm yours and you love me."

 

Castiel nodded and pulled Dean against his chest, "Yes and I will protect you from everything. I will not leave you and I will not allow anything to harm you."

 

Dean wrapped his arms around his angel and allowed himself to be held.

 

"Don't promise things like that," Dean whispered, "you can't keep promises like that."

 

Castiel nodded, "I can try. I can try harder than anything and everything else in the world has ever tried."

 

Dean nodded, "Alright. I'm going to hold you to your promise Cass. You break it and it's your ass."

 

"I will accept those terms."

 

"Good, because if he don't kick your ass I will."

 

Dean jumped and sat up, Castiel sat up slowly next to him.

 

"Morning Ellen and peanut gallery," Dean said sheepishly as he noticed that half the house was standing behind the woman.

 

"Morning, you sleep well?"

 

"Yeah why?"

 

"You either have really bad bed head or sex hair," Adam teased.

 

Dean shot his brother a glare, "Be happy Cass is holding me back."

 

"But I am not-"

 

"Joke. It's a joke angel face, we are going to have to work on that," Dean sighed.

 

"You feeling okay, Dean?"

 

"I'm good Sammy," Dean answered.

 

"Good to hear," Sam sighed.

 

"So guess we'll just leave you two alone," Gabriel piped up, "only dropping in to check on ya and Cassie."

 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Cass why is the sugar addict still here?"

 

"I can't get rid of him," Castiel sighed, "I believe that Sam continues to feed him even after I plead with him not to."

 

Dean turned back to Castiel and grinned, "You just told a joke."

 

"I did?"

                                       

                                        "Dude you did, and it was kind of funny too," Dean laughed.

 

Castiel smiled, "Then I am learning?"

 

"Yeah, you are," Dean laughed.

 

"Hardy har," Gabriel grumbled, "I don't like his humor."

 

Dean shrugged, "Doesn't matter. I do."

 

Dean leaned over and kissed Castiel deeply before pulling back and giving the flushed angel a grin. Dean looked back over to the others and grinned like the Cheshire cat.

 

"So what's for breakfast? Please say something fluffy and that rhymes with sand cakes," Dean chuckled.

 

"You got it, Dean," Ellen chuckled as she turned to head back downstairs.

 

"A nice pot of coffee would be pretty friggin awesome too," Dean called down the stairs.

 

"Wow, I'm scarred for life," Adam sighed.

 

"I think that its romantic."," Jo argued as she followed the youngest Winchester brother downstairs.

 

"Yeah, Addy," Gabriel teased.

 

"Gabriel, stop acting like a three-year-old," Sam scolded.

 

"But Sammy I'm just in touch with my inner child," Gabriel whined.

 

"Your inner child? That's what you're calling it? I think the word you are looking for is immature," Sam grumbled as he rolled his eyes.

 

 

"Ah come one Sammy-kins," Gabriel whined as he followed after Sam.

 

Dean shook his head and leaned over against Castiel, he laid his head on the angel's shoulder.

 

"Things are sort of back to normal now," Dean sighed, "just another day right."

 

Castiel shook his head, "No it's not. It's a lot better now, I'm here with you now Dean. You can talk to me if you want, about all of it."

 

Dean shrugged, "I know. Cass, you know me I won't talk about it but when and if I do, I know you're there. You know Sammy will try to get it all out of me later, right now I-I just want to enjoy you being here. I just want to pretend for a little but that things are normal."

 

Castiel intertwined his fingers with Dean's and lifted the hunter's hand to his mouth, he kissed the back of Dean's hand.

 

"Alright, but I do want you to know that I am here for you," Castiel whispered.

 

Dean smiled and nodded, "I know. Thank you."

 

"You're welcome."

 

"Right, lets head downstairs and make sure that Sammy doesn't sneak any scraps to Gabriel."

 

Castiel laughed and allowed Dean to pull him along.

 

Dean sat quietly on the porch later that day watching as the sun went down he had a beer in one hand and his picture in the other. Everyone was inside either researching or drinking.

 

Sam was at his desk attempting to read with Gabriel bugging him. Adam was stretched out on the couch talking with Jo as they watched something on the TV. Bobby was flipping through one of his books and Ellen was attempting to cook dinner with the few eatable things in the house. Castiel was- well he was

 

God only knew where.

 

Dean smirked as he took out his picture, he looked down at it and felt his smirk turn to a true smile.

 

"Hey mom," Dean whispered, "so- that angel I was telling you about, well I think he really loves me. Weird huh? I mean this amazing angel loves me even though I'm- well I'm me. I know you'd kick my ass if you heard me downing myself but- well it's just so out there. Castiel told me that he loves me and I do love him. I think I might need to just accept this really good thing for once. What should I do? What would you say?"

 

Dean was quiet, listening to the silence. He was almost waiting for an answer.

 

The sound of wings ended the silence, Dean smiled.

 

"I think she would want you to be happy," Castiel answered, "I think that she would want you to know that it is okay and that you deserve love."

 

Dean grinned and look over at his angel, Castiel held a new beer in one hand and pie box in the other. It was basically Dean's version of roses and a box of chocolates.

 

"You think so?"

 

"Yes," Castiel answered bluntly.

 

"Pie?"

 

"Apple from the restaurant in Kansas you like so much," Castiel answered, "and a beer from Bobby's fridge."

 

"My hero," Dean chuckled.

 

Castiel smiled and walked over to the swing, he sat next to Dean and hand (handed) the hunter his new beer and the pie.

 

Dean showed Castiel the picture, "This is Cas mom, the angel I've told you about."

 

Castiel looked down at the picture and smiled, "Hello Mrs. Winchester, it is very nice to meet you."

 

"Ain't he a gentleman," Dean teased, "pie and beer and manners."

 

Castiel smiled, "I am very in love with your son. He is amazing, brave, strong, and perfect."

 

Dean smiled, "I think she likes you, Cass. She approves."

 

Castiel leaned over and kissed Dean, "I am very happy with that."

 

Dean smiled and looked down at the picture again before slipping it back into his wallet. Dean looked over at Castiel and sighed happily.

 

"What is it?"

 

"Things are good. Things are good and I'm happy. I mean things are actually bad out there and things are trying to destroy everything but right here and right now- things are fucking perfect Cass and I'm- well I'm good with that for right now. Things can go to hell whenever and I'll be right there to do my best and fix it and I know all that shit will be hard, but I can accept that because right now- right now is perfect and I can live with that."

 

Castiel leaned over and kissed Dean long and hard, as he pulled away he stared hard into Dean's eyes.

 

"You are perfect Dean," Castiel whispered.

 

Dean shrugged, "No, but I'm okay with that because you- being with you can make me better."

 

Things were good.

 

Right now things were amazing.

 

Let the apocalypse come, with Castiel at his side Dean could fight it and he could win.

 

With Castiel, Dean had a new side, one that he had never known and he hoped that maybe he would come to get to know that side.

 

FIN

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> {I hope this version reads smoother and that the plot is more worth reading.}


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